A nightmare I never thought I would live

[hrafn]

I have never, ever, not once, allowed my cat near my birds. Even though he's old, even though he's docile, I have always known what he is underneath. A predator. A killer.

There was no room for Sprite in the room I always use for quarantine. It was occupied by Taco, and there was no way I was going to leave her out where my cat could see her, so I tucked her cage in the bathroom, knowing all I had to do to keep Jackson away from her was close the door.
All I had to ****ing do was close the door.

When I came home and the door was ajar, my blood ran cold. When I saw her empty cage, I went straight to Jackson.
I found a feather caught in his claw.
Then I found the rest of her.

I don't know what to do.
I never thought I could hate my sweet old cat.
This is the worst loss, the worst guilt I have ever felt in my life.

She depended on me. She NEEDED ME.
And I let her die.
I let her die in the most terrifying and awful way possible.

I'm sorry, Sprite.
I'm so sorry.

 

[Brittany0208]

Oh no! Poor Sprite. I'm sorry that you're going through this. Accidents happen, but at least Sprite got to know a loving home

 

[kathyth]

I’m so sorry for your tragic loss. Please don’t hate your cat. He really didn’t do anything wrong, even though we hate what happened.
It was an accident that I’m sure will never be repeated.

 

[iamwhoiam]

So very sorry for your loss of Sprite.

 

[Love My Zons]

Cats, we have them and love them here. I am going to say the smaller the bird, the more a cat is going to turn on the predator mode. My older cats don't give a rats butt about the large birds it's the snack sized that they pay attention to. I am very sorry for your loss!

My one cat, the one most interested in the littler birds so far hasn't even shown any interest in the new budgies. I do close their door when I am not home to their room, just the inner tuition says to.

Do not beat yourself up!

 

[Greencheek Lee]

I'm so very sorry, I can only image how you feel. I had an outside cat get to my parakeet once, we were lucky to be there and she got through it. But I know the terror you're imagining and wish there were words that would help. Please try to keep your mind on all the love and good times, I know it's hard right now...but try.

 

[Greencheek Lee]

I'm so very sorry, I can only image how you feel. I had an outside cat get to my parakeet once, we were lucky to be there and she got through it. But I know the terror you're imagining and wish there were words that would help. Please try to keep your mind on all the love and good times, I know it's hard right now...but try.

 

[finchly]

Oh @hrafn I am so sorry!

That is horrid, so tragic and then you had to find her yourself! Even more horrible.

You will not hate your cat for long so don’t do anything drastic.

 

[Lady Jane]

Feeling bad for this tragic event. I know words don't help but we care.

 

[expressmailtome]

I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Mizzely]

I'm so sorry

 

[BirdManDan]

Oh no, that's awful to hear. Poor Sprite, I'm sure it was quick. I'm sorry that you're going through this loss. They are called accidents for a reason and they do happen. Your cat was only doing what cat's do so don’t hate your cat. He really didn’t do anything other than what he instinctively has in him. Nobody likes to lose a pet at the hands of another pet but it sometimes happens even though we try our best to prevent it. Don't be too hard on yourself either. You know as well as anyone it was never something you wanted to happen.

 

[camelotshadow]

Poor sweet innocent Sprite. Gosh she did not have much of a life.
I feel so sad for both of you...
Wings high sweet Sprite...
Fly high & strong over the bridge no more sadness...no more pain...
She's now an angel in heaven's sky...

 

[jennluna]

Oh no. I’m so sorry. My Great Dane got one of my sweet silver laced wyandottes once and I knew the same hot rage you must have felt. I was so mad at myself, and my Dane. It took me a while to get over it. Big hugs.

 

[hrafn]

I've lost too much. Too many of my babies.
My beautiful, amazing Rafi to a stroke. Then my young, strong four-year-old aussie pup gone within days to cancer. My little goldfish Xiao-Mei. Sprite.
In one year. One half of a year.
I can't take any more. Not this year. Not next year.

 

[jennluna]

When you open yourself up to love, you also open yourself up to loss. Please don’t let the losses stop you from loving. I promise that there are many souls here on AA who understand. ​

 

[camelotshadow]

Really am so sorry...

That is alot to have to deal with...OOOhhh my heart goes out to you...A dear aussie sheepdog! Your Rafi, I love goldfish & so tragic dear Sprite...I'm so sorry!!!!

We can't control everything & there is sickness & tragedy in this world. WE can't give up.

 

[Sarahmoluccan]

I'm so sorry for your loss Accidents happens don't blame yourself.

 

[faislaq]

You took Sprite from a home that didn't care one bit about her. You gave her a soft cage, toys and cuddles; things she had probably never known. The time she spent with you were truly the best days of her life. I still say thank you for taking her in and loving her.

Please forgive yourself and your cat. If you blame yourself for this one unfortunate misstep, you must also remember to "blame" yourself for your compassion and all of your goodness.

 

[Shezbug]

I am sorry to hear of your loss.
I totally understand the feeling of anger, disgust, guilt and sadness, I had a dog who decided to turn on my sons kitten. The kitten hissed and swiped at her and even though she ignored the older cat she did not take the hiss and swipe from the kitten and I took too long to get to the room they were in. I hated my dog and hated myself even more for so long that I was at my wits end. I had thought about having the dog put down as my kids had started to hate her after the kitten attack. I finally came to the conclusion that we had rescued the cat from a rather horrid situation so she had finally been able to know love and proper care so her life had been much better than if we did not take her and the dog was only doing what was natural to her. She was not being evil or naughty, she was just being a dog and life is not always long or perfect for any living thing. The fact that you gave Sprite a decent chance is such a great thing, unfortunately for you Sprites life was not meant to be a long one so you can forgive yourself knowing that you did your best to better her life and she at least knew happiness even if it was only for a short time.
Forgive your cat for he has no idea that he is not meant to behave like nature tells him to. You did nothing wrong and everything right! Life is full of uncertainties and unfairness, it is up to us to do our best to make the most of it all and make positive changes where we can. At least Sprite knew someone cared enough to attempt to make a good change for her.

Be good to yourself and make sure to recognize and acknowledge your kindness and generosity to a creature you could have otherwise turned your back on.

 

[CeciliaZ]

I am so sorry.