When to euthanize?

[AW2023]

I keep reading that too early is better than too late, but I don't know where that line is.
I've never lost a bird before, and it's been more than a decade since I've seen a mammal pet be put down (and those were family pets I was not in charge of as I was a kid.)

My bird Tatu has kidney disease and an inoperable kidney tumor (about 10mm.) She was diagnosed 11 weeks ago. Allopurinol has been helping, but her most recent bloodwork came back to show her dose is no longer keeping her uric acid down (it's back at 12.9), so we've had to up the dose up .06ml. My vet says Tatu is now on 1/3 of the maximum dose we can eventually go to.

She was acting almost completely normal the last 2 months, and I'm hoping she'll be feeling a bit better again soon for a while. Right now she is very very very tired afternoon onwards. 'Pronounced pooping posture', lethargy, and polyuria are her only symptoms.
She is eating very well, flying fine, running around and playing with toys. She talks and bathes and preens me. Whenever she is on my shoulder for more than 2 minutes, she settles in and begins happily beak grinding.

I know birds hide pain, but unlike my other birds, Tatu actually has a tendency to communicate pain to me. I might not know "how bad", but I can tell when she is/isn't in pain typically. I've seen her in astronomical pain and on the verge of death before (bad bad accident in 2021 that she fully recovered from), and this isn't that. She's just very very tired. As someone with a lot of health issues, I understand how quickly you can get worn down each day.
But each morning she is bright eyed and cheerful and calling for me, excited to sit on my shoulder while I work on jigsaw puzzles, or clean cages, or what have you.
I'm home with her all the time so I see everything.

I don't think it's time yet. And I've told her to tell me when it is time, and I will follow her lead.
I just want to know what to look for, for when it is, because I've never been through this before. I'm hoping she will pass peacefully in her sleep. But I don't want her to suffer if she doesn't have to.
My vet says once her uric acid hits 40-50 euthanasia will be recommended. But I just want to ask others who has had a bird with an ongoing illness: when did you know it was time?

 

[April]

I'm so sorry for what your going through its never easy when it's knowing when the time is approaching and then trying to know when exactly to do it.

I've never had to make the choice with a beloved bird(Nala had fatty liver disease,and was getting bloodwork every 3 months and was on meds but her heart gave out unexpectedly and I lost her from that) and Zazu was sadly taken from me at barely 3 years old from a wellness blood draw)

But I've been through this with 5 of my dogs and I knew it was time when they stopped wanting to do basically all that they loved. Penny loved eating,playing with her toys and going on walks most of all and slowly the desire to do those things faded and all she was doing was sleeping all day and being stressed out when it came time to medicate her with her many pills so I knew it was time because she was just holding on for me since she was so bonded and dedicated to me so I finally realized that I was keeping her alive because I couldn't bare to let her go and I couldn't imagine a world without her in it. I was there for her conception,her birth(I cut her cord) I bottle fed her when her mom abandoned her and I was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes and we were forever bonded and I was the last thing she saw when she closed her eyes for the final time.
I absolutely admit that I waited a week(at least) too long and I couldn't see just how bad she'd gotten because I was with her every second of the day that I wasn't at work.
It will be different for everyone but I'd say most of all when you see that she isn't doing all the things she used to love doing and you can see her spark is fading.

Again I'm so sorry that your both going through this and wishing you peace with your decision when the time comes.

 

[Shezbug]

Quality over quantity for me and my pets and if they’re uncomfortable at all with any given ailment that won’t heal in a reasonable timeframe then I feel they deserve to be relieved of that suffering.
It is definitely personal choice, but for me, after doing all I could to give my first dog every extra day she could have with me I finally realised one day just how much she was suffering, terrified, confused and living unnaturally as I had to help her with normal tasks etc that I’d kept the poor thing in pain and fear so I didn’t have to deal with the sad feelings of her not being there- once I realised how much I’d accidentally tortured her for my sake I was so angry at myself and promised never to do that to any other living animal.

 

[Jxdeeyy]

For me it was a very difficult choice. I lost my first budgie last year (actually almost a year ago), and I really struggled to come to terms with the fact that we couldn’t get her better.
She continued to play, eat and interact with her partner and us until her final day. She was on the floor of the cage and we knew it was time. It was heartbreaking then because even then she gave us a glimmer of hope when she perked up specifically for a spinach leaf (she loved spinach and veggies), and tried to have a final flight around the room when we were saying goodbye.
I couldn’t say whether it would’ve been better for her had we let her go earlier, but for me when I saw her still playing and cuddling with us and Joey, I felt like there was still quality of life there. And I was told the medications were likely giving her relief.
She was poorly for about a month, and I tried to do the best by her. Only you know your bird, and I’m sure you’ll make the right decision whatever it may be.
I’m really sorry you and Tatu are going through this <3

 

[Pixiebeak]

When she is nauseous and not eating well would be an indication of uric acid buildup I think .....

You are connected, I think you will know...

I have had to help some of my past pets stop suffering....but with my brain damage Budgie...I held out to long and feel guilty over that...I had just decided the night before, he made his own way by morning before I got up to take to vets ... it is difficult, we never want to let them go

 

[Parutti]

With my dog and cats I kinda had the metric When there are more bad days than good it's time.

I think with my birds that won't make sense. I think with your relationship especially, you'll know when Tatu says goodbye to you, or asks you to help her say goodbye.

I believe there is no wrong time.

I personally think that pain and suffering aren't the same thing. The birds I've known that have passed have taught me a lot about the difference, and I think they have so much to teach us. I think you'll know when Tatu doesn't have her sparkle in the morning when she sees you....and if you wait to make sure, I truly believe she won't have fear and won't suffer, she'll just love you.

 

[Shannan]

I agree that you will know when that time comes. For me it is usually preceded by days where I wonder what I will find when I turn on the light (or walk into the barn, or look down to their bed) if I will find them gone. The sparkle usually goes out of their eyes and they have far more bad days than good days. My old QH mare spent the last few days staring out at the field like she was looking for something or someone to come. My old Wolf dog just looked at me with those sad eyes like she wanted my permission to go. For my Nanday conure she stopped trying to do things for herself and then stopped eating and drinking. Each time I knew it was time, even if I originally denied it was time. The more I asked myself if it was time, the more I realized it was probably time. It's the hardest thing we do for them but it is also the decision that you give the most thought as to what is best for your animal. They know that it is done with love and compassion. My greatest regret (and to this day it haunts me) was when I opted to not listen to my gut because I could not bear to lose my beloved horse of 39 years when she fell into a hole and was not able to get back up despite the fact that we were able to get her out of the hole. She suffered that night because I was not brave enough to let her go even though I knew in my heart she couldn't get up (being part thoroughbred, would never give up the fight until it killed her). Trust yourself but enjoy every moment you have with her.

 

[AW2023]

I think with your relationship especially, you'll know when Tatu says goodbye to you, or asks you to help her say goodbye.

I believe there is no wrong time.
I personally think that pain and suffering aren't the same thing. I think you'll know when Tatu doesn't have her sparkle in the morning when she sees you....and if you wait to make sure, I truly believe she won't have fear and won't suffer, she'll just love you.

This made me start bawling for the 20th time today. And Tatu, sleeping on my shoulder, immediately woke up to start licking the tears from my eye with the utmost gentleness and precision, as always. (pictured in this exact moment; ignore the mess we look. I've been crying and cleaning cages all day, and she's mid-molt and preening up a storm, hence all the feather dust covering us)
I find your post extremely comforting, so thank you for your compassionate words. They make a lot of sense to me.

 

[Parutti]

Oh I was crying too when I wrote it! Tatu knows!

I was a vet tech for a long time and have seen so many animals comfort US when their time came. I will never take their wisdom for granted. Or their pure love! I really truly feel in my soul that their understanding of their endings in our lives is not sadness, and that they don't always recognize how hard it will be for us - and that they do understand our love.