• ALL Threads/Post in Rehome Highway will be reviewed for compliance to forum guidelines before being approved.
  • Welcome to Avian Avenue! To view our forum with less advertisments please register with us.
    Memberships are free and it will just take a moment. Click here

When is it ok...

Realgoneferby

Meeting neighbors
Avenue Veteran
Joined
6/28/16
Messages
59
I feel so incredibly guilty for typing this but I have to get some advice (and get this off my chest at the same time). I have a sun conure who is amazing, and sweet, and loves to be around me and I love to be around him. I am currently going through a divorce, a job change, and a move and I don't feel like I am taking the best care of him... he needs space, and time with me, and I just haven't been around. I am literally home, maybe a few hours a day. Long enough to say hi, and change his water and food. I am thinking of rehoming him, there are a couple of avian sanctuaries near me but I have such guilt over this. I just don't know when things will return to normal in my life...

I truly just want what's best for him. I want him to be happy and flourishing. However, I know that pets (especially birds) are sensitive to these things and are lifelong commitments. So, my question is when is it ok to rehome? Is it ok to rehome? Does everyone go through this guilt? ...
 

sunnysmom

Ripping up the road
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/16/13
Messages
27,135
Location
Pennsylvania
Real Name
Michelle
I am sorry that you're going through a tough time. It's okay to rehome a bird when it's in the best interest of the bird. If I were you, I would wait though. It just sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now and I would hate to see you make a decision that you regret when your life calms down. I am also a little leery of sanctuaries. Not to say that they can't be good but there are also some bad ones. I would check them out carefully. Also if your bird is a "people" bird, I don't know how he would do in a sanctuary. Just some things to think about. Is there anyone that can help you with your bird for a little while?
 

Teckechick

Ask me for a photo of my bird, I have to post one!
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
9/5/16
Messages
3,769
Location
Illinois
Real Name
Dawn
You could also look for someone that would be willing to foster him for you for a bit. Let you get some things in order or give you time to decide if re-home is actually what you want.
 

Clueless

Joyriding the Neighborhood
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
11/3/12
Messages
22,229
My birds went through a lot and came out okay (until cancer hit MC).

Sounds like you're just under a great deal of stress. Take a deep breath and seek some peace, maybe a nice walk. Nothing says you have to make a decision right now.
 

Realgoneferby

Meeting neighbors
Avenue Veteran
Joined
6/28/16
Messages
59
Thank you both, this is really good advice, and I honestly think you're right. Maybe it's just too much stress right now. I just feel so bad for him. I want him to be happy, I am only thinking about him... but you guys have given me insight and make valid points. Thank you! I might be able to send him to my parents for a while... but we will see.
 

Clueless

Joyriding the Neighborhood
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
11/3/12
Messages
22,229
Thank you both, this is really good advice, and I honestly think you're right. Maybe it's just too much stress right now. I just feel so bad for him. I want him to be happy, I am only thinking about him... but you guys have given me insight and make valid points. Thank you! I might be able to send him to my parents for a while... but we will see.
I'm also a "bird person" and have lived with a lot of guilt about caring for my birds. We do the best we can with what we have (that includes our time).

Hang in there and take care of yourself.
 

Mizzely

Lil Monsters Bird Toys
Super Moderator
Vendor
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
8/9/11
Messages
35,490
Location
Northern Mitten Michigan
Real Name
Shawna
When is it okay? That's up to you. If it's because of this rough patch but otherwise things are okay, I would ask yourself if you will miss him when the dust settles. This stage of your life, however long it is, is temporary. You lose all control over what happens with him when he leaves your home. Does he have healthy food, clean water, a clean cage, toys, and at least SOME time a day with you? if yes, that is more than so many other pets in the world get.

If you feel that it is all too much and you really don't think you are doing right by him, then no one here can you that your feelings are invalid, and that the bird being with you come hell or high water is better than your mental health.

This is a relationship, and sometimes, unfortunately, relationships end. I don't know the situation with your divorce, but if the two of you were forced to be together forever, no matter what, would that be a healthy relationship to stay in?

The forever home is a fantastic concept and I do think we should weather the storms when we can, and make choices that are in the best interest of the animals we care for, but forever is sometimes just not realistic.
 

Sparkles!

Rollerblading along the road
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
12/9/20
Messages
1,890
Sometimes a wonderful foster home is a better spot for a bird than their current situation.

But sometimes it’s not. If a crappy situation is temporary- the bird is going to want to stick through that with you. Example: I am providing food and caging to a family of 3 birds who are living in a motel room because their house caught fire. Their house is getting rebuilt and cleaned, and they will be going back to that house when it’s safe to do so. That family is cramped and everyone in that family is cranky and making sacrifices, but it’s tenable because it’s not permanent. The best thing in that situation is to just keep going. Rehoming their 3 large birds would be terrible on the birds, and the family members that love them.

But if that family faced a year before they could move back in? Or 2, 3? I would have advised them that an alternative should be sought. Family or permanent relinquishment to a rescue. Because the situation, although temporary, wouldn’t be tenable temporary. It would be a new normal for over a year for the birds and that family and everyone would feel consistent upheaval.

I would take a hard look on your time frame. If you’re just needing to get through a couple rough months? Just keep going and before you know it, your Sun and you will be on the brighter side of life after everything is said and done. If you’re looking at a year, or longer? Perhaps think about a more permanent break.
 

macawpower58

Flying along the Avenue
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Shutterbugs' Best
Joined
8/25/11
Messages
10,432
Location
Pennsylvania
I agree with what others have said, will you want him once the dust settles?
Birds live such a long time, a few years of upheaval with the person he loves is something he'll get through.
Mine have been with me over 20 years, through moves to other states, more people in the home, less people in the home, weird work hours, sometimes more me, sometimes less me, big homes, small homes, etc...
Don't make a hasty decision.
 
Top