When does it get better?

[Perroquet]

I'm fostering a pair of re-homed GCCs, bonded females about 1 year old. It's been 2 and a half months, and I'm at about 50% of the time where things are mostly OK, and 50% where it seems crazy to keep them. I have about another month to go before having to decide definitively on adoption. I, and my whole family, are working hard at training them, socializing them, spending time with them. One is relatively tame and sweet, while the other is still bitey and scary at times. It feels like we have a long way to go. For anyone who has been in this situation: when/how do you decide it's all worthwhile? or alternatively, that they would be better off elsewhere? or that you are not suited to the task? (For background: I'm middle-aged, have a job, a spouse who's not totally on board, and children still living at home. I love birds, but this is a lot...)

 

[Pixiebeak]

My gcc is a luv. She would also bite me every single day if I don't read her body language and adjust .

Life with parrots is never perfect. Screaming spring is approaching for my quaker girls.

It must be hard to be on the fence.

What are you looking for that would decide yiu one way or the other.

 

[Mizzely]

If it feels like a lot now, it might always feel like a lot. There's no way to know if the behavior of the "scary bird" will calm down in a month or two or in a few years. It usually takes me about 6-12 months to get into a routine with my birds, learn their body language, etc.

What are you ideally hoping will happen with this pair? Do you think your goal is realistic based on the current situation? Those are probably what I would ask myself.

 

[Shannan]

One thing to keep in mind is that this is a slow process. It's like watching a plant grow. It doesn't seem like you are making much progress but then you wake up one day and you suddenly notice how far you have come. As I tell my students at school. You eat an elephant one bite at a time. Just focus on the next step and celebrate small successes. That's how you see your progress. (PS we LOVE celebrating small successes with you!!! Please share.... pictures are even better.

 

[Mockinbirdiva]

I would ask you what your expectations are. Frequently we see new members posting lack of progress with a bird they bring home. I often feel they expect too much too soon even after a few short months. It can take months for some birds to acclimate to new people, new sounds and new environments. Change for quite a few is difficult and some birds are just never going to have a human bond no matter who they are cared for in terms of caretakers. You can look at it as “ this bird needs a caring home” and provide a great spacious safe environment with healthy varieties of food and enjoy giving a beautiful little being what it needs for a good life. Not all of my birds are loving cuddly birds but I do get satisfaction in doing and caring for them. It’s a nice delight to get a little extra from them. I have a female green cheek I raised from one of my breeding pairs who usually avoids me and now 14 years later is jumping onto my collar to be close and have contact. Whatever she wants she can have… I expect nothing of her but love her all the same. Her name is Astro and I find her quirky personality a delight…. Even after she pinched the crap out of my nose. One of my other birds… a male Crimson bellied who was given to me when he was 2-3 years old has never liked me. Always tries to bite me though nice when given hand held treats. He’s been with me at least 13 years. A couple months back he climbed on my arm when I was cleaning his cage and I thought “how nice! Casey is being friendly”… and then he bit me. The little dirt bag left a nice bruise on my arm. I still like to give him what he needs. I promised to take care of him from his original owner. He’s noisy and hateful unless food is involved but still a delight to watch. If none of this fits into your desired experiences in bird care then it’s probably not for you. None of mine are perfect… all eight of them. But I still love them. Good luck in your decision!

 

[Perroquet]

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. My expectations are fairly low: I'm hoping for me, and my family, just to enjoy their company most of the time.
I did a lot of preparation before they arrived (completed a ton of coursework required by the bird rescue, watched hours of training videos, did a lot of reading, bought way too many toys, perches, and stands - and even cooked them months' worth of chop). So I do want this relationship to succeed. Some days, it's fun to have them around; other days are hard.

 

[TikiMyn]

What are the things you are struggling with most? I have two conures who I adopted from a bad situation. They were taught to scream and bite to get what they wanted. I have seriously regretted my decision to bring them home. The first three months were like hell. Now, we are still having a lot of trouble, but they have made a lot of progress and shown the potential to be lovely roommates. That doesn’t mean that one of them isn’t running at my face to attack anymore though. He still does that, but I know his body language and we are making progress in our relationship. I really love them, but they are not what I expected them to be like, which is okay for me. If you are not up to adopting these birds, that is fine. You are just fostering them! You have done well by them already. What does your heart tell you? Do you feel a deep connection with these two specifically?

 

[SunTruth]

Hello!

I am not an expert (my family has a parrot for only almost 1 year now) but all I can say is that everything is slow with them. When our senegal came home I think he did not stop screaming for like 1 month or 1 month and a half, and then he got used to the house very slowly. Conversely we were unable to understand things. For instance believe it or not but he is afraid of new perches… this kind of thing; he does not recognize people when they wear glasses…

From my understanding a parrot need to adjust to a new environnement, and the persons welcoming him needs to learn to read the behavior of their parrot and thereby make adjustments too. And it takes times. So I am not saying here that your birds are the ones for you or are not, but I think that maybe 3 months or something is not long enough to get a clear idea. I do not know but maybe if you could spend more months with them to decide maybe it would be a good thing.

 

[Perroquet]

What are the things you are struggling with most? I have two conures who I adopted from a bad situation. They were taught to scream and bite to get what they wanted. I have seriously regretted my decision to bring them home. The first three months were like hell. Now, we are still having a lot of trouble, but they have made a lot of progress and shown the potential to be lovely roommates. That doesn’t mean that one of them isn’t running at my face to attack anymore though. He still does that, but I know his body language and we are making progress in our relationship. I really love them, but they are not what I expected them to be like, which is okay for me. If you are not up to adopting these birds, that is fine. You are just fostering them! You have done well by them already. What does your heart tell you? Do you feel a deep connection with these two specifically?

We have definitely made progress. These birds were highly neglected before, and had never really eaten a fresh fruit or vegetable, or even been out of the cage or flown (we were told they couldn't fly, but quickly discovered differently - they just needed to learn). Now they eat better than the rest of us and are out of the cage most of the day, and are flying well. Their lives are probably 1,000% better than before.
My struggle is balancing everyone else's needs (children, spouse, aging relatives) and my job, as well as the time I need to put in for the birds (cleaning, food, training, keeping them company). The family helps out, but at this point I'm doing 80% of it. So I'm trying to figure out how I feel about a long-term commitment.
(By the way, today they're being extra-cute, obviously because they know about my post here )

Another question: do you all let them land on your head, if your birds try? If not, what do you do?

 

[LovieLouie]

Another question: do you all let them land on your head, if your birds try? If not, what do you do?

I put my arm out for him to land on.. I prefer he not be on my head lol

 

[Mockinbirdiva]

We have definitely made progress. These birds were highly neglected before, and had never really eaten a fresh fruit or vegetable, or even been out of the cage or flown (we were told they couldn't fly, but quickly discovered differently - they just needed to learn). Now they eat better than the rest of us and are out of the cage most of the day, and are flying well. Their lives are probably 1,000% better than before.
My struggle is balancing everyone else's needs (children, spouse, aging relatives) and my job, as well as the time I need to put in for the birds (cleaning, food, training, keeping them company). The family helps out, but at this point I'm doing 80% of it. So I'm trying to figure out how I feel about a long-term commitment.
(By the way, today they're being extra-cute, obviously because they know about my post here )

Another question: do you all let them land on your head, if your birds try? If not, what do you do?

For the time being no heads ( worst place to be pooped on) or shoulders until you’ve mastered proper step ups to your hands. Also train them to step up to a hand held perch. I’m short and it comes in handy when they land too high up. You have much less control when they are on your shoulder and open for a bite to the hand when you want to get them off.
You do sound like you have a full plate as it is.

 

[Dartman]

It took 5 years for Lurch, a Maxi Pionus, to decide I was his friend and didn't need constant bites. He did get there and was very happy and would follow me around like a feathered puppy. It was worth it when he was happy and decided he enjoyed being with me. If you are ok with taking whatever time it takes for them to decide you have earned their trust and love then they are where they belong, if not foster them till a good fit shows up and everyone wins.

 

[Icey]

It takes time and patience to gain a birds trust.
If you feel you are starting to accomplish this, I would continue to work with them and train them.
There is no set answer as to how long things will take as, like us, each bird is unique.
Your bird that hasn't quite come around as much as the other one may end up being really bonded with you over time.
Only you can decide if you have the time patience, and support of your family to continue with them.
Best of luck whichever you decide.

 

[TikiMyn]

We have definitely made progress. These birds were highly neglected before, and had never really eaten a fresh fruit or vegetable, or even been out of the cage or flown (we were told they couldn't fly, but quickly discovered differently - they just needed to learn). Now they eat better than the rest of us and are out of the cage most of the day, and are flying well. Their lives are probably 1,000% better than before.
My struggle is balancing everyone else's needs (children, spouse, aging relatives) and my job, as well as the time I need to put in for the birds (cleaning, food, training, keeping them company). The family helps out, but at this point I'm doing 80% of it. So I'm trying to figure out how I feel about a long-term commitment.
(By the way, today they're being extra-cute, obviously because they know about my post here )

Another question: do you all let them land on your head, if your birds try? If not, what do you do?

It sounds like they are doing really well! I understand trying to juggle everyone’s needs, I bet it can feel overwhelming sometimes It must be a hard decision to make. Perhaps if you don’t feel ready, they can be adopted and you can start another foster journey, and see how that goes? Perhaps fostering birds is right for you because they are not long term commitments. You will be massively helping the birds while being able to enjoy them yourself. Perhaps envisioning life without them, will help. How does that make you feel? Imagine life with them, how does that make you feel?
Perhaps in time they will be able to be out of their cages while you are spending time with your family at the same time. I don’t know what your birds are like, but some of my birds can entertain themselves while I am doing something else. Periodically they fly to me for some attention, and after a couple minutes they are off again.

 

[MnGuy]

I adopted a 17yo Meyer’s many years ago and she was scared, tried to bite all of the time and seemed like a lost cause. But over several months she completely changed and became an amazing companion.

It’s hard to know how long it will take a bird to acclimate/trust you, or if it ever well.

I noticed in one of your posts you said your family helps out but you do 80% of the work. I’d say only adopt a bird (these two or another bird) if you’re up for doing 100% of the work. Doesn’t sound like your family has any interest.

There’s nothing wrong with deciding you can’t adopt these two, if it comes to that. There are many birds in need of a home, and you could find a more compatible match. At the same time, you have to be realistic and understand that a bird can change at any time.

I adopted my CAG years ago and she was a dream from day one—doesn’t scream, no behavioral issues, not aggressive with visitors.

Good luck.

 

[Perroquet]

It sounds like they are doing really well! I understand trying to juggle everyone’s needs, I bet it can feel overwhelming sometimes It must be a hard decision to make. Perhaps if you don’t feel ready, they can be adopted and you can start another foster journey, and see how that goes? Perhaps fostering birds is right for you because they are not long term commitments. You will be massively helping the birds while being able to enjoy them yourself. Perhaps envisioning life without them, will help. How does that make you feel? Imagine life with them, how does that make you feel?

This is a very helpful perspective. Thanks. I do feel like I might miss them if they weren't here (and they already greet me when I come home from work).

 

[Emma&pico]

How you getting on now ? Would love photos of your babies

 

[Perroquet]

How you getting on now ? Would love photos of your babies

Still about the same... definitely small areas of progress, but one of them still periodically lands on my husband unprovoked and bites him hard Interestingly, she's becoming more tame with me, so there's probably a connection there. We try to distribute attention evenly, but with many household members and two birds, the social dynamics are complicated.
I'm also still struggling with the long-term commitment aspects of the decision.
I'm not ready to post photos as they're not "mine" technically, just fosters... we'll see.

 

[Emma&pico]

Still about the same... definitely small areas of progress, but one of them still periodically lands on my husband unprovoked and bites him hard Interestingly, she's becoming more tame with me, so there's probably a connection there. We try to distribute attention evenly, but with many household members and two birds, the social dynamics are complicated.
I'm also still struggling with the long-term commitment aspects of the decision.
I'm not ready to post photos as they're not "mine" technically, just fosters... we'll see.

Oh ok that’s totally understandable on the pictures

I have a lovebird that just randomly flys to me to bite my skin she’s left a nice bruise on my arm today

whatever you decide will be right for you and them I am sure and if you decide to let them go you can do it knowing you have made progress and put them in a better place for new owners