When did you decide it was time..?

[Britnicorn]

When did you decide it was time to help your dog pass?

Our oldest dog, Tinkerbell, whom I grew up with, is 18 years old (Just two years younger than me, I genuinely grew up with her). She is a rat terrier. Her old age has really been showing this past year, she’s on a few meds to battle arthritis and some other pain meds. Her legs often lock up and she will hobble around the house, but nothing keeps that old hag from running. She still has the same spirit she did when she was a puppy
It’s just so sad seeing her in pain, she’s starting to have trouble walking, she sleeps most of the day, and I’m pretty sure she’s starting to get dementia. She walks around aimlessly a ton, looks like she forgets what she was doing constantly, etc.

I’m just not sure when to decide it’s time. She’s still so happy right now it feels wrong to put her down now, but do I want to wait until he’s miserable? I don’t know

How did you guys decide?


This last one is when I was a child, I was probably around 5-7 years. Tink looks like a completely different dog now

 

[Lady Jane]

Aww I am sorry you face this decision. It tough that's for sure. I have done this with cats but not dogs. With my cats I did feel that they told me by doing some of the things you describe. Usually inactive, incontinent, in pain and not or slowed down on eating and drinking. When you think about it these are what also happens to us humans. As for deciding sometimes the input of your vet can guide you.

 

[flyzipper]

Tinkerbell is a lovely old girl.

My recent experience with this came upon us more suddenly than aging, but I think in either case we know our dogs, and we'll know when it's time.

That may sound trite, but I honestly don't think there's a prescription that fits every individual situation.

My girl Pepper always slept the day away, so inactivity wasn't a factor I considered. For me, evidence of her increasing pain was what I paid attention to. The escalating pain she would experience from her bone cancer, and potential for fracture (which would create an emergency situation and force the decision), wasn't worth the extra few weeks I'd get to spend with her by delaying the inevitable. The conscious decision was to calmly spend those final days and moments together, rather than it being traumatic and rushed (for both of us).

 

[Mizzely]

I agree the answer will be different for everyone. For me, it's about quality of life and how ailments can be managed.

Our dog growing up we helped to pass when she could no longer get up to pee and would just sit in a puddle of her own urine if we didn't notice she had gone.

My 17 year old cat we put down a couple years ago, but we had to make a decision on the spot which is much harder in some ways. One day she was fine and then the next her abdomen had ballooned and she wasn't eating. I took her to the doctor and when they inspected the fluid in her abdomen, it was full of cancerous cells. Basically they told me I could extend her life by maybe a couple weeks, but the cancer would eventually suffocate her. So we decided that we would let her go before it got to that point.

The vet can definitely help you make a decision. They don't want to see your pet suffer anymore than you do.

 

[redindiaink]

I agree the answer will be different for everyone. For me, it's about quality of life and how ailments can be managed.

This right here.

Stinky Old Man had spondylosis which is a kind of arthritis that causes boney outgrowths along the spine. A year or so before he started to struggle climbing up things, walking on slippery surfaces etc; as it progressed, I had to use a towel to help lift his back quarters so he could walk. He became incontinent. Most of all, we didn't think the pain relievers were helping anymore because he whimpered all the time.

I had a cat with a sudden onset of peritonitis too, but the lab work was inconclusive. I took her home so I could say my goodbyes because I just ... couldn't, not yet. She was my shadow.

 

[Gigibirds]

I haven't had to put down a dog yet, but I have put down some guinea pigs. When their quality of life was just terrible, we decided to let them go. We had one old little man, and he had bright red feet, he could barely eat, and he was half blind. He was pretty happy, but one day we could see that he didn't want to be around anymore. He was tired, and it was time to let him go. If Tink (who looks so sweet, btw) still has the spirit to live, then I would let her be. But there is a time that comes for every animal when you can see that they are ready to go. They have a particular look about them, and you will know when it is time. If you feel like she is not having a good life, and you are just delaying the inevitable, you might want to let her go. But if she's still happy then you might not need to! I'm so sorry though that you are going through this.

 

[finchly]

I let the vet guide me.

Im probably getting ready to go through this with my dog, Piper. She’s having seizures... there are so many things wrong with her. Afraid of what they’ll say.

 

[Sparkles!]

I’m with Finchly. Allow your vet to guide you.

We have a much beloved large animal vet that all of our dogs (working and pet) see. We have a retired working Malinois who has service related injuries and is unable to take standard NSAID for her osteoarthritis related pain. Because of my profession, we have been given allowances to have her on high dose opioid/narcotic pain relief at home. We are maxed out now on drug and acceptable dosage. When those no longer control her pain, there will be nothing left pharmacologically that we can do for her. And without adequate pain control there just isn’t quality of life. Our vet has promised us that he will be there for us when we are questioning the day. We know it’s soon, and honestly we are striving for this to be her best summer ever! We are realistic that the drugs can only do so much and as a family we have all agreed that the day that the Fentanyl isn’t enough, we gift her release onto the rainbow bridge.

 

[GreenThing]

It's an awful decision to contemplate. We lost a new dog to distemper and have had to put two down over the years-- one to age, one to a heart disorder when death was imminent. The older dog was a rescue who was a little unpredictable when stressed. We put him down sooner than some dog owners would, I think, because my parents' mindset was quality of life over extending the dog's life. His hips were so bad that he struggled to squat and stand. He also bit our other dog in a moment of pain and stress. He just was not happy. He was surviving because that's what living things do. They made the decision while I was away at college, but I agree with the choice. Like Gigibirds said, it was a sense that he was just tired.

 

[Sparkles!]

And our old (12) little chiweenie also has age related cognitive decline! We find her stuck in corners too, because she’s more than half blind. And sometimes she just stares at walls. She gets confused and will sometimes forget where she is or what she’s doing. She often forgets she went outside to potty because there was a flower she stopped to sniff on the way and has to go right back out after she comes in. Hang in there! It doesn’t get any easier dealing with doggie dementia, but if you ever need to talk or a sounding board, you just let me know! Here’s a picture. For reference, the old bag is in a sweater and it was 80 degrees out today.

 

[finchly]

And our old (12) little chiweenie also has age related cognitive decline! We find her stuck in corners too, because she’s more than half blind. And sometimes she just stares at walls. She gets confused and will sometimes forget where she is or what she’s doing. She often forgets she went outside to potty because there was a flower she stopped to sniff on the way and has to go right back out after she comes in. Hang in there! It doesn’t get any easier dealing with doggie dementia, but if you ever need to talk or a sounding board, you just let me know! Here’s a picture. For reference, the old bag is in a sweater and it was 80 degrees out today.

Piper is doing some of those things too. She walks around crashing into everything or getting stuck under things.

 

[Sparkles!]

Piper is doing some of those things too. She walks around crashing into everything or getting stuck under things.

We really need to start a group! “Where the Dog Got Stuck Today” or perhaps “Dogs who see ghosts in walls” would be nice threads.

 

[Shezbug]

I put my last dog to sleep when he was in discomfort constantly (it’s a torturous way to survive and not natural for any living being I feel) and his small dose of pain killer no longer worked for him. Thankfully the pain killer stopped working for him about the same time that doggy dementia was making him do really weird things like standing in the middle of the room confused about what he was just about to do, looking at a wall and waiting for me to open it for him to go through, walking into the linen cupboard when I opened it to put sheets in and getting rather baffled because he needed to go outside and pee but was stuck in a small cupboard, trying to get out through the window when he heard the back door open, no longer sneaking into everyone’s bed for warmth and cuddles, generally looking stressed whenever he had to toilet or move. It’s much less natural for our pets to cling on for as long as possible like humans tend to- they live in the moment, not for tomorrow

In my heart I knew he needed to go sleep peacefully when he gave me that special look more than once.
I’m a great believer in quality not quantity and I do feel many people drag things out for their own needs more so than their pets rights or needs.
I waited way too long for the reason that I felt I was cruel condemning my first dog to death…. she was 16 and got so bad that she was full of arthritis and dying of thirst but too terrified to drink, she all of a sudden (over a few hours) couldn’t hold her bladder, hear, see and she was absolutely terrified of even being comforted. It broke my heart more not being able to comfort her than it did putting her out of her misery- Ill never ever do that to another living being again- it’s not ever about how I feel, it’s about what is right for the animal I am responsible for.

Big hugs to all of you dealing with these last special days and moments with your older fur family members and also to all of you who have been through it especially if that was just recently. It’s never easy or fair.

 

[Britnicorn]

Thanks everyone, I think I'll wait for her to decide. The vet hasn't suggested it yet either. She sleeps most of the day away but she still gets the zoomies whenever we get home and her dementia(if she has it, she isn't diagnosed with it but she seemingly has it) isn't too bad yet. I think she wants to keep going... it's most likely her last year though. I hope the vet can come out to our house so the other dogs can say goodbye to her, too, when the time comes

 

[finchly]

@Shezbug
Thank you for describing in detail what you went through- that’s exactly where we are right now.

I’m a great believer in quality not quantity and I do feel many people drag things out for their own needs more so than their pets rights or needs.

This is what I don’t want to to do. This little dog has been with me... well, through everything. She used to go to my violin shop with me. Everyone made such a fuss over her - she thought they were there to see her.
I had to threaten to check purses before they left, so many people said they were talking her home. (All in fun of course)

But her quality of life... she’s gone blind. Diabetic, low thyroid, terrible hip dysplasia which they can’t operate on due to her other issues.

@Britnicorn it does sound like yours has time left although you never know. Just talk to the vet about it.

Sorry didn’t mean to take over your thread. I’ll post my own after the vet visit.

 

[aooratrix]

You'll know, and as Lady Jane indicated, she'll "tell" you. When quality of life is gone, it's time. From what you describe, she's not there yet for me, but she's your dog. Only you can decide. You can involve your vet if you want, as others suggested.

 

[Hankmacaw]

This is a decision that only you (and your vet to help explain) can make.

 

[Sparkles99]

I'm sorry you're stuck with this decision. If I were you, I'd ask my family to be involved. This is a family, childhood pet; it shouldn't be all on you. Are you being made to do this on your own?

I agree with Lady Jane & aooratrix. IME, the animal will let you know when it's time.

You can be guided by the vet, if they don't love your pet. All but one time, we've been guided by our vets. I had to make the call for my late rabbit, but that vet was emotionally involved. She truly loved him & had saved him against all odds so many times. My buns still frequent her; she is the best.

Just to say that vets are human too &, ultimately, it's up to your family.

 

[Tazlima]

You know your dog better than anyone else. You'll know when it's time.

I'm going through this right now myself. My elderly dog, Paco, was diagnosed with melanoma over a year ago and honestly I'm astonished he's made it this long. He's slow and stiff - the longest walk he can manage is a very slow-paced half-mile, his dementia is advancing, his hearing is shot, his kidneys are starting to go, and he's been banished from the bed because he can no longer be trusted not to fall off the edge. (He's still allowed on the couch because it's low enough that even if he falls off, he's unlikely to get injured).

But he's happy. He enjoys his meals, plays a bit each day with our younger dog, is as excited as ever to go on walks, will gladly accept as many pets as we're willing to give, loves going through doorways (either direction - even if he gets to the other side and then stands there in vague confusion), chomps blindly like a gator at anything he thinks might be a treat, and just... he carries himself like a happy dog, yanno?

I've been through this process before, and one day, he'll stop being happy. Maybe the cancer will start to hurt bad or interfere with some vital function. Maybe his legs will give out. All we can do is enjoy his company until that day comes. But I promise, you WILL know.

 

[Britnicorn]

Sorry didn’t mean to take over your thread. I’ll post my own after the vet visit.

Don’t apologize, hearing other people’s similar situations help me deal with my own