B
birbanon
Guest
So I made this as a sort of throw away account to ask this question. I'm somewhat scared of asking this, but I feel like I need to ask it... Sorry it's long, but I figured context would be good.
I have a cockatiel. I've had him for about a year. He was young when I got him, and he was not from a breeder. Previously, I've only ever owned cats, no birds. But I've always wanted a bird; I think they're cute and would make wonderful companions. And I did do reading on them before I got one. What kind of food to give them, what kind of cage, how much attention they need, etc. So I knew that if I didn't get a hand raised one, I would need a lot of time and patience raising one. I figured I could do it, and I really wanted to try. So I got one. My bird is healthy, so you don't need to worry about that. He doesn't show any signs of plucking, and he has plenty of toys to keep him busy. He eats fruits and veggies. However, I have concerns...
The first few months I got him I think went well. He used to step up onto my finger, but now he doesn't. Now he scurries away from me whenever I get close to the cage. He hisses at my finger. He doesn't want to sit on my shoulder. He does, however, often come willingly to my hand when I offer him food. He comes out of his cage and hangs around it, but freaks out if he has to be away from it. If I had to take a guess of what makes him not like me, it would these things:
1) I'm not very consistent with when I interact with him. I read somewhere that birds do better with consistency. I don't know if that means that I need to interact with him during the same time during the day everyday, or if it's something else. But sometimes I interact with him in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings, and maybe an hour all at once or for a few times sprinkled throughout the day. I have a work schedule that's all over the place, so it's difficult to set aside the same time of day every day for him.
2) I'm finding that I get frustrated easily. There are days when I am more patient than others. When I am able to, I will sit by his cage and offer my finger to try to get him to step up. He moves away from me, and I calmly keep my finger there and wait to see if he will come back. Other days, I get frustrated and give up. And I think that maybe he knows that I'm frustrated. My frustration doesn't manifest in any sort of aggression towards the bird, I promise. What I do is step away and leave him alone, figuring that he wants to be left alone. And it's hard to try and interact with him when I have convinced myself that he doesn't want anything to do with me. He trembles when I am near him, and I feel awful about it. I think I expect results too quickly, and I have been too pushy with trying to get him to be friendly with me.
I'm scared that I just might not be a bird person. I'm used to cats where you can leave them alone and they will be fine and still love you. When they want interaction, they will come to you. I think I can "read" cats better. With my bird being a year old, I figure he's about adult age now. I don't know if that means that I can't fix my behavior from now on and have him change how he feels about me. I hope that I can change our relationship, but maybe I can't because he has a permanent way he will see me for the rest of his life. I have seen people say that "birds are like children, you can't just get rid of them when you get frustrated, so you need to change" (which I would be inclined to agree with) but I have seen others say "if you can't properly take care of a bird 100% better just do what's best for the bird and give it away to someone who can take care of it". I want what's best for my bird... I really do. Again, I want to keep working with him, if I can.
I have a cockatiel. I've had him for about a year. He was young when I got him, and he was not from a breeder. Previously, I've only ever owned cats, no birds. But I've always wanted a bird; I think they're cute and would make wonderful companions. And I did do reading on them before I got one. What kind of food to give them, what kind of cage, how much attention they need, etc. So I knew that if I didn't get a hand raised one, I would need a lot of time and patience raising one. I figured I could do it, and I really wanted to try. So I got one. My bird is healthy, so you don't need to worry about that. He doesn't show any signs of plucking, and he has plenty of toys to keep him busy. He eats fruits and veggies. However, I have concerns...
The first few months I got him I think went well. He used to step up onto my finger, but now he doesn't. Now he scurries away from me whenever I get close to the cage. He hisses at my finger. He doesn't want to sit on my shoulder. He does, however, often come willingly to my hand when I offer him food. He comes out of his cage and hangs around it, but freaks out if he has to be away from it. If I had to take a guess of what makes him not like me, it would these things:
1) I'm not very consistent with when I interact with him. I read somewhere that birds do better with consistency. I don't know if that means that I need to interact with him during the same time during the day everyday, or if it's something else. But sometimes I interact with him in the mornings, sometimes in the evenings, and maybe an hour all at once or for a few times sprinkled throughout the day. I have a work schedule that's all over the place, so it's difficult to set aside the same time of day every day for him.
2) I'm finding that I get frustrated easily. There are days when I am more patient than others. When I am able to, I will sit by his cage and offer my finger to try to get him to step up. He moves away from me, and I calmly keep my finger there and wait to see if he will come back. Other days, I get frustrated and give up. And I think that maybe he knows that I'm frustrated. My frustration doesn't manifest in any sort of aggression towards the bird, I promise. What I do is step away and leave him alone, figuring that he wants to be left alone. And it's hard to try and interact with him when I have convinced myself that he doesn't want anything to do with me. He trembles when I am near him, and I feel awful about it. I think I expect results too quickly, and I have been too pushy with trying to get him to be friendly with me.
I'm scared that I just might not be a bird person. I'm used to cats where you can leave them alone and they will be fine and still love you. When they want interaction, they will come to you. I think I can "read" cats better. With my bird being a year old, I figure he's about adult age now. I don't know if that means that I can't fix my behavior from now on and have him change how he feels about me. I hope that I can change our relationship, but maybe I can't because he has a permanent way he will see me for the rest of his life. I have seen people say that "birds are like children, you can't just get rid of them when you get frustrated, so you need to change" (which I would be inclined to agree with) but I have seen others say "if you can't properly take care of a bird 100% better just do what's best for the bird and give it away to someone who can take care of it". I want what's best for my bird... I really do. Again, I want to keep working with him, if I can.