Dave it is so nice to hear from you. I am sadden that you have taken Tinker's passing so hard. I had to help my wild caught White Front Amazon cross the Rainbow Bridge, it will be 3 years next March. It broke me in two. I cried for the first year and I still miss her dearly. Paco, my current parrot came into my life 2 weeks after she passed. He is completely different then an Amazon. He is funny, keeps me on my toes, and he is a challenge, to be honest sometimes I think I got more then I bargained for.
All in all, I couldn't cope with the silent house. Amazon's are very vocal and very loud, even though she didn't talk we had our own language. She was with me for 25 years.
I found Avian Avenues when she started acting strange. She wasn't flying to her perch or on top of my bedroom door. I didn't have a local avian vet. I actually thought it was old age catching up with her. I didn't know. After she passed I did some research, I didn't know how old she was, she had an open band that indicated she was wild caught. She was given to me in 1994. The US banned importing wild caught birds in 1984. So I figured she was much older then I thought. I met Claire here, you and Clueless and made many more friends.
I try to look on the bright side, even thought I lost my baby, I have made many friends, Paco is healthy and I have a great vet. Paco was in such terrible condition when I picked him up. I was horrified that anyone could leave an animal in the condition he was in. After talking to his 2nd owner Paco has not had a great life. She wasn't much better. After 2 years I finally got him to chew on cardboard. He is a plucker and at the age of 23 I don't know if he will ever stop. He is a very stressed out bird, but he is my buddy.
Birds are a very special companion, I really can't call them a pet. People that don't have a parrot don't understand.
I understand your pain and time will heal. I try not to think of Bugsy, the tears will flow. She loved screaming to Steppenwolf's Born to be Wild. I still can't listen to that song.
I wish I could say something to ease your pain. All I can say is I understand.... I think of you often and was nice to hear from you.