Sparrownote
Checking out the neighborhood
- Joined
- 4/10/18
- Messages
- 2
- Real Name
- A DeHaven
Hi there. New here.
My conure (cherry headed), Spargel, is 13 years old. I adopted him years ago when he was young, but due to having a medically complex child a few years in, who needed things like intermittent hospitalizations and such, Spargel spent some years in a different home where he could have a steady schedule and proper attention. A year ago, he came back home to us, and we're thrilled to have him back! Reunification was seamless and he settled in pretty happily (other than . ANYWAY...one problem has arisen recently. To explain, I'll back up and mention that my my two younger sons are 9 (the medically complex one, though life has leveled out and normalized decently enough on that front), and a 4 year old. Spargel especiallyADORES these two, especially the youngest.
I assumed perhaps he just took the youngest especially, because they have similar play intrests: they love repetitive games and loud things like singing amd chanting, they love hide and seek and peekaboo, and so on. He likes the middle son almost as much. He gets on well with me and loves quiet sit & get scritches time on my knee, but he seeks those kids out for entertainment and fun, and counts them as his best friends...or so I thought that's what their status was to him.
Now I'm not so sure... A few days ago, he began ambushing their heads and faces and humping them, and being really bent on doing so...like, several times a day. He has no prior history of humping (even in the theroes of puberty), so this sudden sexual awakening at this point in life perplexes me a little. I understand that as an adult being, sexual feelings are valid and an outlet for them is appropriate...but I'm not exactly okay with it being my young children's faces. I mean, the fact that to us humans that seems weird aside, and I doubt adults at they're school would be thrilled if they shared what happens on home at there ("my Mom's parrot likes to rub hus butt on my face all the time!"--can you imagine?), there's the huge safety issue. Perhaps the worst part is that if I attempt to make him stop (by trying to get him to step up...or even get near to do so...), he whirls around and threatens to nip at me and acts enraged. I can't have him acting nippy and aggressive when my children's faces are involved and so near at hand, even if it's directed at me and not them. I don't want him at their faces anyway (in general, not limited to the humping thing), but he flies at them so fast when he's got sex on his mind that it's hard to stop him before he acts, and once he does, like I said, it's hard to safely approach him. I've encouraged the kids themselves to try to make him get off (perhaps "get away" would be better wording than "get off" in tbis case) and assert "no," but he just squirrels around away from their hands and humps away from his new angle, making all sorts of excited squeals and vocalizations as he does, the same ones he does when he's happily excited about songs or games they play together, pupils pinning away.
Like I said, I understand that sex is a need, and I didn't want to strip him of brunt allowed to that urge, but I'm just not sure how to get him attracted to something else, or even how to safely get him off of them when he's doing the deed and adverse to being stopped.
Of note, in general, since he's starting doing this to the kids, he's acted a bit pissy towards eveeyone else (except those two kiddos) from moment to moment, not just when we're trying to get him seperated from the kids mid-act. I mean, he still has sit-nicely times, and enjoys my company if I'm scritching, whistling, or singing to him, but he definetly acts touchier, and has his really nippy moments, even when we were in the middle of something he enjoys. With him a conure, I'm used to a touch of it, but it's increased quite a bit since the humping started a few days ago. I love him, but I'll admit that it's a lot less fun to hang out with him when he's acting turdy. It's also been A LOT harder to control him in general. He's been challenging stepping up, and if he knows you want to do something like put him in his cage (which he really only gets put in at bedtime or if everyone will be out of tge house), he'll fly around the house and make it a spectacle to get him in there....totally unlike him. He's bit both my husband and I hard enough to draw blood in the last few days. With my husband, it was totally out of the blue: he just flew at him and landed on him, and my husband assumed he just wanted held and was like, "Oh, hello." Seconds after landing on him, Spargel just charged at his face and bit his cheek...like, dripping blood hard. With me, it wasn't quite as hard, though it did bleed, and it was during am attempt to cage him, so that one was a little more understood (still, he never used to get dramatic about going in his cage!). It's almost like he's turned into a different bird overnight! At least gress nice to the two youngest kids (the ones he likes to ride), but still. Ies best for everyone if we can get him behaving nicely amd act pretty predictable again.
I guess I have a lot of questions....
...Why all of a sudden? I can't think of any new development that could've triggered this. We've had him home again for a year now, and there had been NONE of this. It's been pretty perfect up until about a week ago.
...What are some good ideas on how to stop him in the humping act upon them appropriately and safely?
...Perhaps more importantly, what preventative steps can get him directed elsewhere for these types of needs so that he'll have a more appropriate go-to for this than young kid faces? As a relavant note, before he was homed elsewhere for awhile, he loved palying with toys and spent a lot of time happily inside his open cage bossing foot toys around and chewing, shaking, and yelling at his hanging toys. He never humped his stuff, but it often seemed like some type of alpha realease. The first thing I noticed when we brought him back home is that he no longer really has ANY interest in toys. I keep his cage stocked with them, anyway, but he seems offended and spooked by them if I try to present them to him and have him take a look. I assume toys would be a good alternative to get his grind on with, but I'm not sure how to move him that way when he seems so uncomfortable with toys being shown to him as is. He does sleep in his happy hut, same as he has since he was young, and loves playing in his water dish but has little interest in anything else on his cage (well, I guesses there's the food dish, too). When put in his cage if we're leaving the house or something, unless it's bedtime, he tends to sit near the door and watch us eagerly, sticking his beak through the bars and wiggling his wings--the toys do nothing to offer joy or company, it seems. I would ideally like to get him hooked up with a toy for his sexytime needs, but I'm not sure how to get there from here where his opinion on toys sits now (and also considering how agressive he gets over interventions in the heat of his moment).
...Obviously, I need some guidance when it comes to what to do when he's acting ornery overall (sex stuff aside). I'd really like to see more of my "good ol'" Spargel again, the easygoing fellow that was happy and easy to get along with. How do I work on getting our bond there again? What's the best way to steer through the moments when he's being really obnoxious? In the past, the occasional wayward slip was easy with a stern "Dont Bite!," and all was well again. We're far from there right now. Fortunately, he doesn't treat the younger two kids like this, and the oldest just avoids him in general these days, but I do want to be able interact with him and have our nice times without worrying about it ending in bloodshed (mine), or worrying about whether he'll do something in a nippy streak at the kids.
...Is all of this a wave of hormones that will pass with the season or whatever, or are we looking at something we're in for the long haul about?
Any help or advice from thise that know these things will is appreciated.
Of note, he has been DNA sexed, and is indeed a male. We also have an OGO pigeon in the home (female). They're not real fond of eachother, but tolerant overall. They have seperate spaces and we don't let them get too close to one another when both out, just in case they fought. With him suddenly flying at everyone though, I do feel a little concerned about him flying at her from elsewhere, not that it's happened thus far. Also, we will be bringing home three lovebirds soon. Interestingly, it the was the obvious bird bite on hubby's face that led to this. Upon co-workers asking about the big bloody mark on his face, and him explaining it was a little gift from his wife's conure, a co-worker said, "Oh! You're bird people! I've been trying to bring myself to rehome my lovebirds to someplace where people will be around the house for them more...." So yes, we're very excited about the arrival of these three soon, and I'm hoping the dynamics between everyone will be well. Any advice on a smooth transition in spite of Spargel in this alpha mood would be helpful. Also, at his other home, he developed a plucking problem towards the end (the person usually at home went into the workforce, and being alone for hours was hard on him). It's since resolved since coming back to us, but he does get in a funk if I've been out for the day taking the middle child on his periodic run of specialist appointments at the hospital equipped for that stuff a couple of hours away, or if we hit a holiday and spent the day hitting church and relatives from morning till sundown instead of being around the house. I doubt any of that is realted to the current problem, but thought I'd bring it up in case any behavioral expert out there sees a puzzle piece.
I know that was all REALLY long, but I just wanted to get out anything I could think of. Thanks for reading, and for any advice. I just want to get back on a great page with him, and these hormones of his are a bit nuts. I feel like I have some learning to do to get there. Thanks.
My conure (cherry headed), Spargel, is 13 years old. I adopted him years ago when he was young, but due to having a medically complex child a few years in, who needed things like intermittent hospitalizations and such, Spargel spent some years in a different home where he could have a steady schedule and proper attention. A year ago, he came back home to us, and we're thrilled to have him back! Reunification was seamless and he settled in pretty happily (other than . ANYWAY...one problem has arisen recently. To explain, I'll back up and mention that my my two younger sons are 9 (the medically complex one, though life has leveled out and normalized decently enough on that front), and a 4 year old. Spargel especiallyADORES these two, especially the youngest.
I assumed perhaps he just took the youngest especially, because they have similar play intrests: they love repetitive games and loud things like singing amd chanting, they love hide and seek and peekaboo, and so on. He likes the middle son almost as much. He gets on well with me and loves quiet sit & get scritches time on my knee, but he seeks those kids out for entertainment and fun, and counts them as his best friends...or so I thought that's what their status was to him.
Now I'm not so sure... A few days ago, he began ambushing their heads and faces and humping them, and being really bent on doing so...like, several times a day. He has no prior history of humping (even in the theroes of puberty), so this sudden sexual awakening at this point in life perplexes me a little. I understand that as an adult being, sexual feelings are valid and an outlet for them is appropriate...but I'm not exactly okay with it being my young children's faces. I mean, the fact that to us humans that seems weird aside, and I doubt adults at they're school would be thrilled if they shared what happens on home at there ("my Mom's parrot likes to rub hus butt on my face all the time!"--can you imagine?), there's the huge safety issue. Perhaps the worst part is that if I attempt to make him stop (by trying to get him to step up...or even get near to do so...), he whirls around and threatens to nip at me and acts enraged. I can't have him acting nippy and aggressive when my children's faces are involved and so near at hand, even if it's directed at me and not them. I don't want him at their faces anyway (in general, not limited to the humping thing), but he flies at them so fast when he's got sex on his mind that it's hard to stop him before he acts, and once he does, like I said, it's hard to safely approach him. I've encouraged the kids themselves to try to make him get off (perhaps "get away" would be better wording than "get off" in tbis case) and assert "no," but he just squirrels around away from their hands and humps away from his new angle, making all sorts of excited squeals and vocalizations as he does, the same ones he does when he's happily excited about songs or games they play together, pupils pinning away.
Like I said, I understand that sex is a need, and I didn't want to strip him of brunt allowed to that urge, but I'm just not sure how to get him attracted to something else, or even how to safely get him off of them when he's doing the deed and adverse to being stopped.
Of note, in general, since he's starting doing this to the kids, he's acted a bit pissy towards eveeyone else (except those two kiddos) from moment to moment, not just when we're trying to get him seperated from the kids mid-act. I mean, he still has sit-nicely times, and enjoys my company if I'm scritching, whistling, or singing to him, but he definetly acts touchier, and has his really nippy moments, even when we were in the middle of something he enjoys. With him a conure, I'm used to a touch of it, but it's increased quite a bit since the humping started a few days ago. I love him, but I'll admit that it's a lot less fun to hang out with him when he's acting turdy. It's also been A LOT harder to control him in general. He's been challenging stepping up, and if he knows you want to do something like put him in his cage (which he really only gets put in at bedtime or if everyone will be out of tge house), he'll fly around the house and make it a spectacle to get him in there....totally unlike him. He's bit both my husband and I hard enough to draw blood in the last few days. With my husband, it was totally out of the blue: he just flew at him and landed on him, and my husband assumed he just wanted held and was like, "Oh, hello." Seconds after landing on him, Spargel just charged at his face and bit his cheek...like, dripping blood hard. With me, it wasn't quite as hard, though it did bleed, and it was during am attempt to cage him, so that one was a little more understood (still, he never used to get dramatic about going in his cage!). It's almost like he's turned into a different bird overnight! At least gress nice to the two youngest kids (the ones he likes to ride), but still. Ies best for everyone if we can get him behaving nicely amd act pretty predictable again.
I guess I have a lot of questions....
...Why all of a sudden? I can't think of any new development that could've triggered this. We've had him home again for a year now, and there had been NONE of this. It's been pretty perfect up until about a week ago.
...What are some good ideas on how to stop him in the humping act upon them appropriately and safely?
...Perhaps more importantly, what preventative steps can get him directed elsewhere for these types of needs so that he'll have a more appropriate go-to for this than young kid faces? As a relavant note, before he was homed elsewhere for awhile, he loved palying with toys and spent a lot of time happily inside his open cage bossing foot toys around and chewing, shaking, and yelling at his hanging toys. He never humped his stuff, but it often seemed like some type of alpha realease. The first thing I noticed when we brought him back home is that he no longer really has ANY interest in toys. I keep his cage stocked with them, anyway, but he seems offended and spooked by them if I try to present them to him and have him take a look. I assume toys would be a good alternative to get his grind on with, but I'm not sure how to move him that way when he seems so uncomfortable with toys being shown to him as is. He does sleep in his happy hut, same as he has since he was young, and loves playing in his water dish but has little interest in anything else on his cage (well, I guesses there's the food dish, too). When put in his cage if we're leaving the house or something, unless it's bedtime, he tends to sit near the door and watch us eagerly, sticking his beak through the bars and wiggling his wings--the toys do nothing to offer joy or company, it seems. I would ideally like to get him hooked up with a toy for his sexytime needs, but I'm not sure how to get there from here where his opinion on toys sits now (and also considering how agressive he gets over interventions in the heat of his moment).
...Obviously, I need some guidance when it comes to what to do when he's acting ornery overall (sex stuff aside). I'd really like to see more of my "good ol'" Spargel again, the easygoing fellow that was happy and easy to get along with. How do I work on getting our bond there again? What's the best way to steer through the moments when he's being really obnoxious? In the past, the occasional wayward slip was easy with a stern "Dont Bite!," and all was well again. We're far from there right now. Fortunately, he doesn't treat the younger two kids like this, and the oldest just avoids him in general these days, but I do want to be able interact with him and have our nice times without worrying about it ending in bloodshed (mine), or worrying about whether he'll do something in a nippy streak at the kids.
...Is all of this a wave of hormones that will pass with the season or whatever, or are we looking at something we're in for the long haul about?
Any help or advice from thise that know these things will is appreciated.
Of note, he has been DNA sexed, and is indeed a male. We also have an OGO pigeon in the home (female). They're not real fond of eachother, but tolerant overall. They have seperate spaces and we don't let them get too close to one another when both out, just in case they fought. With him suddenly flying at everyone though, I do feel a little concerned about him flying at her from elsewhere, not that it's happened thus far. Also, we will be bringing home three lovebirds soon. Interestingly, it the was the obvious bird bite on hubby's face that led to this. Upon co-workers asking about the big bloody mark on his face, and him explaining it was a little gift from his wife's conure, a co-worker said, "Oh! You're bird people! I've been trying to bring myself to rehome my lovebirds to someplace where people will be around the house for them more...." So yes, we're very excited about the arrival of these three soon, and I'm hoping the dynamics between everyone will be well. Any advice on a smooth transition in spite of Spargel in this alpha mood would be helpful. Also, at his other home, he developed a plucking problem towards the end (the person usually at home went into the workforce, and being alone for hours was hard on him). It's since resolved since coming back to us, but he does get in a funk if I've been out for the day taking the middle child on his periodic run of specialist appointments at the hospital equipped for that stuff a couple of hours away, or if we hit a holiday and spent the day hitting church and relatives from morning till sundown instead of being around the house. I doubt any of that is realted to the current problem, but thought I'd bring it up in case any behavioral expert out there sees a puzzle piece.
I know that was all REALLY long, but I just wanted to get out anything I could think of. Thanks for reading, and for any advice. I just want to get back on a great page with him, and these hormones of his are a bit nuts. I feel like I have some learning to do to get there. Thanks.
