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Struggling to tame

FlameFeath

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Ok I've had my cockteil about 2.5 years. Ever since i got her she has been terrifed of me and pretty much everything. If she is out of her cage and I try to walk past her she absolutely panics and starts flying round my room and screeches. She will sometimes take millet from me but I cant look at her or talk to her while she does it.

I spend all my free time in the same room as her (she lives in my bedroom with my 2 budgies). I just dont understand why she's still so terrifed. She acts like im going to murder her.

I'm worried I will never be able to tame her now and she's just going to be a bird I can only look at (and on super rare occasions feed millet to). I've wanted a tiel for years as I know they can he smart and affectionate but she just wants nothing to do with me. And I think I feed and water you, I let you out of your cage, I clean your cage, I give you loads of toys to play with, I talk nicely to you and I approach you slowly
 

clarousel

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Hello! I think the fact that she sometimes accepts millet from your hand is a step forward with her earning your trust. Avoiding eye contact is good when they're fearful of you.

How much time do you spend around her? Are you budgies also fearful of you?

Gonna tag @Khizz who recently made progress with her tiels :)
 

Khizz

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I've wanted a tiel for years as I know they can he smart and affectionate but she just wants nothing to do with me. And I think I feed and water you, I let you out of your cage, I clean your cage, I give you loads of toys to play with, I talk nicely to you and I approach you slowly
I think this isn't the best way to think of your relationship with your bird. It's like with kids, they don't really care that you feed them and clothe them, they are still going to act out and misbehave. Birds don't think the same way as us, as.in "she is nice to me so I'll be nice to her".

I would first focus on their general wellbeing and happiness, so at the moment that means getting her to be a little less scared when you walk past. Baby steps :)

She will sometimes take millet from me but I cant look at her or talk to her while she does it.
This is good! Mine were like this too when they started taking millet from me. I still can't really talk too much or stare intensely, but I just started playing on my phone and they eventually got offended that my attention was elsewhere :rofl:

The freaking out when you walk past is a tough one. If you can, try dropping a treat in a bowl everytime you walk past, maybe one that is accessible from the outside, or through the bars.

However, the fact that she will sometimes take millet but also freak out when you are near is puzzling. Maybe she feels vulnerable outside the cage? Is there something in your room that she is scared of? When she is out of the cage, what are you usually doing?

Maybe others won't really approve of this, but my birds started gaining confidence outside of the cage when I started letting them be out without me being in the room. I sit in a room nearby and peek in, but generally they can explore without me in it.

I've had mine for 1.5 years and the only just started tentatively going on my hand.
 

FlameFeath

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Hello! I think the fact that she sometimes accepts millet from your hand is a step forward with her earning your trust. Avoiding eye contact is good when they're fearful of you.

How much time do you spend around her? Are you budgies also fearful of you?

Gonna tag @Khizz who recently made progress with her tiels :)
My budgie bambi is ok with me, she knows how to step up (though only does when she wants to). She also let's me kiss her back when she is on my hand eating millet. My other budgie rocko is a bit like my cockatiel. Scared of nearly everything but will fly to me if I have millet. Unless I'm at work I spend all day with them. So from 8am until I go to sleep at 10.30pm.
 

FlameFeath

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I think this isn't the best way to think of your relationship with your bird. It's like with kids, they don't really care that you feed them and clothe them, they are still going to act out and misbehave. Birds don't think the same way as us, as.in "she is nice to me so I'll be nice to her".

I would first focus on their general wellbeing and happiness, so at the moment that means getting her to be a little less scared when you walk past. Baby steps :)



This is good! Mine were like this too when they started taking millet from me. I still can't really talk too much or stare intensely, but I just started playing on my phone and they eventually got offended that my attention was elsewhere :rofl:

The freaking out when you walk past is a tough one. If you can, try dropping a treat in a bowl everytime you walk past, maybe one that is accessible from the outside, or through the bars.

However, the fact that she will sometimes take millet but also freak out when you are near is puzzling. Maybe she feels vulnerable outside the cage? Is there something in your room that she is scared of? When she is out of the cage, what are you usually doing?

Maybe others won't really approve of this, but my birds started gaining confidence outside of the cage when I started letting them be out without me being in the room. I sit in a room nearby and peek in, but generally they can explore without me in it.

I've had mine for 1.5 years and the only just started tentatively going on my hand.
The only thing I can think of that she might be scared of is my budgies, especially bambi who likes to torment her and pull her tail sometimes. And I'm usually just watching TV or playing video games sat on my bed. Her cage is also right next to my bed
 

Ocha_Tuna

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The only thing I can think of that she might be scared of is my budgies, especially bambi who likes to torment her and pull her tail sometimes. And I'm usually just watching TV or playing video games sat on my bed. Her cage is also right next to my bed
Hi, I'm not an expert yet but seeing this, I think you better separate the tiel from the budgie. If she is not safe with other birds how can she feel safe with a giant human right? One of my lovebird is a timid one and its really hard to train him in the past so I get your frustration. Right now better make a change of the situation so she can feel safe and confident.
Also I think if she's the only bird in the room she would appreciate you more as company.
 

FlameFeath

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Hi, I'm not an expert yet but seeing this, I think you better separate the tiel from the budgie. If she is not safe with other birds how can she feel safe with a giant human right? One of my lovebird is a timid one and its really hard to train him in the past so I get your frustration. Right now better make a change of the situation so she can feel safe and confident.
Also I think if she's the only bird in the room she would appreciate you more as company.
I dont have another room to put her in. She can't be moved downstairs as my dogs are downstairs and the back door is always open for them
 

mak

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I dont have another room to put her in. She can't be moved downstairs as my dogs are downstairs and the back door is always open for them
Are they out of the cage at the same time?
 

Ocha_Tuna

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I dont have another room to put her in. She can't be moved downstairs as my dogs are downstairs and the back door is always open for them
I too want to separate my two lovebirds for a training period. Well, how about let them out at different time. If she's still afraid of the budgies perhaps cover their cage for the moment will do.
If your tiel sees her cage as a "safe space" then it wouldn't be so bad to take turns I say..
 

sunnysmom

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How many hours of sleep does she get? What is her diet like? Does she like to play with toys? Do you leave music or the TV on for them?
 

Lady Jane

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You really need to find a way to put the bird and cage in the room with most activity and people. In a bedroom is not good at all. Find another place for your dogs.
 

Ocha_Tuna

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You really need to find a way to put the bird and cage in the room with most activity and people. In a bedroom is not good at all. Find another place for your dogs.
Lady Jane your words struck me and reminded me birds need to be at the center of activity... I want to do this but one of my bird has a bad history with my elderly grandma (he bit her to bleed) so I'm afraid of letting him in.. what should I train the lil biter so he would be safer to let loose in my livingroom? (p.s. im not the original poster, so you dont get mixed up)
 

FlameFeath

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How many hours of sleep does she get? What is her diet like? Does she like to play with toys? Do you leave music or the TV on for them?
Since she lives in my room she goes to sleep when I do. She probably gets maybe 10 hours. She just eats pellets (can't remember the name of them). She isn't a huge fan of toys but I still have about 4 different ones in her cage for her. I have a Google home but im always forgetting to put it on if I go to work.
 

FlameFeath

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How many hours of sleep does she get? What is her diet like? Does she like to play with toys? Do you leave music or the TV on for them?
Since she lives in my room she goes to sleep when I do. She probably gets maybe 10 hours. She just eats pellets (can't remember the name of them). She isn't a huge fan of toys but I still have about 4 different ones in her cage for her. I have a Google home but im always forgetting to put it on if I go to work.
You really need to find a way to put the bird and cage in the room with most activity and people. In a bedroom is not good at all. Find another place for your dogs.
Sorry but my dogs get free roam downstairs so putting them somewhere else is no an option. And I spend more time in my bedroom than any other room in the house
 

clarousel

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The only thing I can think of that she might be scared of is my budgies, especially bambi who likes to torment her and pull her tail sometimes
This could be one factor adding to her stress/fear outside the cage. Do you mean pull at her tail from inside the cage or you let them out all together? I think @Ocha_Tuna gave some good advice on separating them/giving different out of cage times :)
 

sunnysmom

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Since she lives in my room she goes to sleep when I do. She probably gets maybe 10 hours. She just eats pellets (can't remember the name of them). She isn't a huge fan of toys but I still have about 4 different ones in her cage for her. I have a Google home but im always forgetting to put it on if I go to work.
Is there something in your room that scares her? Is she against a wall? (which is good). I would try to leave some music on for them when you're gone. Silence can be scary. Typically tiels also like to be where people are. I know you said that isn't possible because of your dogs but being alone could also be making her nervous. As for food- I know you didn't ask, but she should also have some vegetables in her diet and I also believe tiels should have some seed too. As an easy thing that she might like, you can try weaving some strips of paper through her cage bars to chew on. Perhaps if she was busier, she would be less nervous?
 
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