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Sparrow

EagleClem

Sprinting down the street
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Michelle
This is our rescue horse Sparrow. Would love to share the story of how we came to find each other but sure no one would believe a word of it! If it never happened to me I would not believe it. ECA86384-B453-4140-8BA0-58D1EA453E7D.jpeg
 

AussieBird

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Call me AB
I would still love to hear it. :)
 

Ali

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Wait, wait, wait, wait! SO, YOU TELL US YOU HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY, BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL US???!!!! That isn't how this works :lol: We need to know the story here
 

Shezbug

ASK ME FOR PICTURES OF MY MACAW!
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The above two posts are posts I wholeheartedly agree with :)
 

EagleClem

Sprinting down the street
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Michelle
Wait, wait, wait, wait! SO, YOU TELL US YOU HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY, BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL US???!!!! That isn't how this works :lol: We need to know the story here
Okay I will tell. It will be the truth every word.
 

EagleClem

Sprinting down the street
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Michelle
I post in another thread that I lost my son in February after he completed suicide. Our hearts were completely shattered, it was such a shock, he never(To our knowledge) struggled with depression. He was always smiling, always laughing or trying to make everyone around him laugh. So when he was just...gone. It was devestating. It still is,but we have three other children and four grandchildren and another on the way. But, I was Being strong and helping everyone else be strong too those first few months. But around May the shock was wearing off and the intense soul crushing pain set in. The doctor put me on escatalapram (spelling?) a antidepressant which did me control the constant tears, but also gave me thoughts of suicide. Please no judgment, I was in so much pain and just wanted the pain to end. I took a Whole bottle of prescription sleeping pills my husband and I had been prescribed. All I could think is that my son was dead, and it must be my fault. If it is my fault I don’t want to live. I text my family one by one...all I text is “I love you”. I did not want to text and say I am sorry because then they may check on me and stop me.
I did not make through all of my family before the pills took effect and I was unconscious.
The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital,alone. This was in the middle of COVID so they would not let my husband in. I was still so sleepy from the pills and a doctor with a very heavy accent asked if I had tried to kill myself. I was so disappointed that I woke up that I had not succeeded, I looked him in the face and lied. I told him no I did not mean to kill myself. He set me up with a virtual appointment for later that week and I walked home in my bear feet. I did not have my phone to call my husband. My plan was to do it right next time. I would wait until my blood pressure pills would be refilled and take them with the refill of sleeping pills.

I had one question for God though before I went through with my plan. I said to God in my heart ,silently because I did not want anyone to overhear this. God if it is not my fault I NEED to know. I don’t want to live if it is my fault my son is dead. I will ask you for something impossible. Something only God could do. God if it is not my fault send a peacock to my backyard! Then I thought...no that is stupid where would I keep a peacock. I thought of the most impossible thing in the world. Lord if it is not my fault, I am going to ask you to give me a horse.
it sounds selfish to pray that doesn’t it? But that is the most impossible thing I could think of. I guess about two weeks went by. I remember it was a Monday and my husband was supposed to go to work. I had not been taking any blood pressure pills so I could use them all at once. Today would be the day. But, my husband sensed I was off and stayed home from work. Let’s go for a drive he said. No, i told him, I don’t want to go anywhere or see anyone today. But he insisted.

We hopped in the truck and started driving. Where are we going I asked? But,he would not tell me. Finally he told me to call my brother and tell him we were on our way. I was not a happy camper. Please let’s just turn around? I really don’t want to see anyone today. His reply? Call your brother.
soooooo, I called my brother whom was thrilled we were coming for a visit. We will saddle up the horses and go for a trail ride he said.

We did saddle the horses, and I did go riding with my sweet nieces. But inside the house a conversation was going on. My husband and my brother were conspiring. Answering a prayer I had not even spoken out loud. Later that night after we got home(and I thanked my husband for the beautiful visit and making me go)my brother sent a pic of Sparrow and my husband said that is your horse Shell We all felt like you needed this horse. I was completely floored. I was speechless,all I could do is cry and say thank you, thank you, thank you.Sparrow was the answer to a question I had asked God. Was it my fault?
I was able to visit Sparrows foster family that weekend. Do you know what they had in their backyard? Yep...peacocks.
I told you it was long and you would not believe it. I swear it is the truth. To anyone to the point where you would take your life I beg you don’t do it. Your family will be devastated. The gaping wound it leaves behind can never be filled. You are here for a purpose. Maybe my purpose is to give hope and love those who feel there is no hope. Sending love and hugs to all and any who feel they can’t do one more day. Please stay
 

EagleClem

Sprinting down the street
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Michelle
Sparrow is an Arabian, winning show jumper who suffered a severe injury. They spent a lot of money to rehabilitate her to no avail. She then was given as a 4-H horse but had a little too much attitude there. Her owner sent her to my brothers friend to find her a home. Her exact words were if you can‘t find anyone to take her send Her to slaughter to feed the lions at the zoo My brothers friend just received her the day before our visit. No one knew we were coming until we were on our way down. No one knew my silent question to God. I was unable to find out much about Sparrows past history other than what I was told, not even her name. So, I named her Sparrow. My husband said of course you would call her a bird name:feedpigeons:
 

EagleClem

Sprinting down the street
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Michelle
@EagleClem I am a Christen and completely believe every word of your story. :hug8:
Sparrow is beautiful. I love Arabians, they have been one of my favourites since I was little.
Thank you! I too am a Christian But my faith had been
You are very welcome to bring it to my home any time you like
they are beautiful birds but they are rather loud. Personally I love their calls but others seem to be annoyed by it ;)
 

macawpower58

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That is an amazing story, and I also believe you.
A ray of sunshine at the time you needed it most.
I'd say you were also Sparrow's ray of sunshine when she needed it most.
I know the two of you will help each other fully embrace life again.
 

iamwhoiam

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Thank you for sharing the beautiful story. It's wonderful that your prayers were answered, Sparrow came into your life and has brought you happiness.
 

Dartman

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You needed something good in your life to break you out of the deep hole you were in and it was provided. Take advantage of your new mission in life and you'll work your way back. It is a ugly deep place and those who never have experienced it can't always understand... :bluhug:
 
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