Puppy listens to other people...

[Sparkles99]

My puppy seems to listen to other people, but not me. She doesn't seem to view me as a leader at all. The other day my brother was over. I tried to show him 'touch'. Ruby looked at my hand, got this impish grin she gets & sauntered off. He put out his hand & said 'touch'. She marched over touched her nose to his hand & then sat at his feet staring up at him adorably. I taught her that command. No one else has ever asked it of her. He didn't have any food.

What should I do? I've tried walking through doors first & eating first. I groom her a lot. Anything else that would help?

(I hope one day!)

 

[Birdie Mama]

I have a six month old puppy, similar issues, won’t jump if they say no, down etc, I can whistle for it! Our biggest problem is heeling!!! She’ll do it for 30 second s then back to pulling even though she is basically choking herself. Cannot seem to get through to her on that.
i feel for you, it’s disappointing, frustrating,

 

[Mizzely]

I wish I knew! My mom's dog listens to me when I'm around and stop listening to my mom Not sure why!

 

[NEVRM0RE_]

I DO know more about dogs than birds!!!! YIPEE!!! but, I don't think I have an answer for you - the way you want. Lol does your puppy listen to you when other people aren't around? We had fosters, and a rescue dog and there was a point in time where our rescue dog helped foster puppies learn how to "dog" anyway - in our house I am.... the leader I guess? My personality is much more assertive than my partners (not sure if you've ever seen the meme that says soft spoken men prefer firey women because SOMEONE has to tell the server they didn't order mashed potatoes..) thats very much
our dynamic. I am the decision maker, and the matriarch (not by choice, I don't love it) and every dog that ever entered our home always I guess...learned that and "listened" to me (granted... puppies and listening is subjective) it drove my partner crazy (he could walk into the room and puppies would be amped and chaotic and hed tell them to lay down and it was like they didnt hear him but id walk in and say the same and theyd disperse ALSO - My old man dog followed me around so if the puppies DIDNT disperse he would...asist....) My long drawn out point is - sometimes I traveled for work (pre-covid) and my partner would be like ugh I can't believe youre leaving me in charge of all of our children and these puppies....and for whatever reason, when I was gone - they listened to him and accepted him as the person who was in charge (different story w our children, but nevertheless- the puppies listened to him and my older dog would follow him around instead....until I got home at least)

 

[NEVRM0RE_]

Wait. Its....kinda bird similar advice. Puppies need consistency, boundaries and "reliability" to build trust and bond with you, as well as jobs/stimulation (like chewing, "foraging - puzzle feeders and kongs are good for this) fetching with the expectation and reinforcement for bringing the object back AND "dropping it". Positive reinforcement for "good" and nothing reinforcing for...undesirable! I guess.. is my actual advice lol

 

[Sparkles99]

Hmmm... I think it may be down to personality, like you suggest. No, she consistently does her own thing no matter the enviroment or who is in it. I will persevere. It was just so strange to see her do something for someone else that I taught her.

 

[Shannan]

Remember she is still very young. My Willow is very ADHD and she has gotten better over the years. I highly recommend a puppy obedience class (or in Willow’s case two or three). Have faith. In a year or so you should have a good dog.

 

[Sparkles99]

We did puppy K at a school that is okay, but are starting beginner obedience in the fall at my first choice school (they compete; they don't just teach).

I was away for just over five days for a wedding over last weekend. My brother took care of all of my pets, but, of course, he had to have the dog with him at his home.

In that time, he taught Ruby: sit (hand &/or verbal), down (hand &/or verbal), come (hand - she had learned verbal already) & leave it. He also housebroke her (no small feat - I live in an apartment, so she'd gotten used to pads while unvaccinated), crate trained her, started loose leash walking & stole her little sheltie heart. She also stole his.

She's back & the lessons have carried over. For the first time ever she slept silently in her crate all night. Not a peep. I am in shock. He has no pets & has never lived with a dog. We grew up with cats. This is the same brother who got her to 'touch' without a treat when he'd never asked her it before.

My conclusion: the problem is me. Something about me makes dogs not listen. I had tried to teach her all of the above, to no avail. I even cooked steak as training treats. I've gotten help from my eldest niece with Ruby before, but am adding my brother to this list. I don't think I'm capable of doing this alone. It is sobering; I can't change my personality & that's what I believe makes the difference.

 

[Shannan]

Don’t beat your self up. Be patient. For some people the body language comes naturally for others it take more time. Now that your dog knows some things it’s easier to reinforce. Remember puppy classes are mostly for the humans to learn. Take it one step at a time. It’s good that you are getting help. Try to have fun with it. Maybe start with just one trick like touch. Just try it 1-2 times and then stop the session. Have fun with it. You can do this

 

[Tazlima]

We did puppy K at a school that is okay, but are starting beginner obedience in the fall at my first choice school (they compete; they don't just teach).

I was away for just over five days for a wedding over last weekend. My brother took care of all of my pets, but, of course, he had to have the dog with him at his home.

In that time, he taught Ruby: sit (hand &/or verbal), down (hand &/or verbal), come (hand - she had learned verbal already) & leave it. He also housebroke her (no small feat - I live in an apartment, so she'd gotten used to pads while unvaccinated), crate trained her, started loose leash walking & stole her little sheltie heart. She also stole his.

She's back & the lessons have carried over. For the first time ever she slept silently in her crate all night. Not a peep. I am in shock. He has no pets & has never lived with a dog. We grew up with cats. This is the same brother who got her to 'touch' without a treat when he'd never asked her it before.

My conclusion: the problem is me. Something about me makes dogs not listen. I had tried to teach her all of the above, to no avail. I even cooked steak as training treats. I've gotten help from my eldest niece with Ruby before, but am adding my brother to this list. I don't think I'm capable of doing this alone. It is sobering; I can't change my personality & that's what I believe makes the difference.

Honestly, I would come to the opposite solution. If your brother, with no previous dog experience, had that much success with her, I'd chalk it up to him being a natural. Some folks just have the knack.

That DOESN'T mean you're a bad teacher. Just means you'll need a bit more practice to hone your training skills, and that's totally normal. If training were easy, everybody's pets would be perfect all the time. Luckily, "practice" means spending fun time with your pup, so the two of you will get to learn together.

If your dog isn't highly motivated by treats (and it sounds like that may be the case), you may want to experiment with other types of rewards. Does you dog go nuts for a particular toy? Does she turn into Miss Happywiggles at the slightest praise and excited voice? Find your dog's currency, and you'll be halfway there.

May be worth taking puppy classes just to get feedback on your technique, too. You may be unknowingly sending her mixed messages or not giving her enough time to think about what you're asking her to do (extra important when working on new material... sometimes they need time to ponder or make mistakes as they work out what you're asking), or something similar that can be easily adjusted for better results.

 

[Toy]

Until your classes start I'd suggest you have your brother go thru his method of commands & then you do them the way he did. It could be she sees him as authoritative & not you. Classes will hopefully teach you how to get your dog to understand your commands.

 

[Shezbug]

We did puppy K at a school that is okay, but are starting beginner obedience in the fall at my first choice school (they compete; they don't just teach).

I was away for just over five days for a wedding over last weekend. My brother took care of all of my pets, but, of course, he had to have the dog with him at his home.

In that time, he taught Ruby: sit (hand &/or verbal), down (hand &/or verbal), come (hand - she had learned verbal already) & leave it. He also housebroke her (no small feat - I live in an apartment, so she'd gotten used to pads while unvaccinated), crate trained her, started loose leash walking & stole her little sheltie heart. She also stole his.

She's back & the lessons have carried over. For the first time ever she slept silently in her crate all night. Not a peep. I am in shock. He has no pets & has never lived with a dog. We grew up with cats. This is the same brother who got her to 'touch' without a treat when he'd never asked her it before.

My conclusion: the problem is me. Something about me makes dogs not listen. I had tried to teach her all of the above, to no avail. I even cooked steak as training treats. I've gotten help from my eldest niece with Ruby before, but am adding my brother to this list. I don't think I'm capable of doing this alone. It is sobering; I can't change my personality & that's what I believe makes the difference.

Take note of your energy, voice tone and body language and compare it to your brothers - my grandad used to train other peoples dogs (or any other animal) and then usually had to train the owner so the dog would take them seriously.
Saying one thing and showing another with tone, energy or body language was nearly always the problem.

 

[Sparkles99]

I think this is what's wrong, Shezbug. My brother's energy is confident, his tone is kind but non-optional & his body language makes it clear that he has every confidence Ruby will do as asked. My energy is quaky, my tone is bytimes wheedling/asking/unsure & my body language is not as fluid as his - he's much more coordinated.

How did your grandad fix these people?!

 

[Shezbug]

I think this is what's wrong, Shezbug. My brother's energy is confident, his tone is kind but non-optional & his body language makes it clear that he has every confidence Ruby will do as asked. My energy is quaky, my tone is bytimes wheedling/asking/unsure & my body language is not as fluid as his - he's much more coordinated.

How did your grandad fix these people?!

It’s hard for me to explain but he basically retrained them on their general behaviour and communication techniques when they interacted with their animals.
Showed them the difference between the response the dog (or other animals) had when spoken to in a normal confident calm voice and how the dogs in particular got all excited silly and playful when commanded or praised with a cutesy high pitched voice- he would explain to them that their body language, energy and words had match because animals read more than humans do to communicate. Animals do not just rely on one thing for communication, they need you as a whole to convey your message so when our voices and body language are not matching up it confuses them and they’re not certain what you want from them.

 

[fashionfobie]

I think it is great that you are going to get classes. That should help. From what you explained, it seems like you need a little guidance on how to communicate to your dog. It will come Dogs like predictability and you will get a handle on doing the exact same movements each time you are asking something from your dog. Dogs also notice very minor things (like our birds!) so even handing the treat with your hand in a different orientation may mean something different for your dog. The obedience trainer will be training you more than your puppy. They will help you learn how to hold a lead, how to move, what tone you should use in your voice, how to be a dependable leader. Leadership is about predictability, you want to show your dog you know what is going on, you have confidence and every time you drop you right hand in a fist you want your dog to do xyz. It is almost like a dance and once you get the steps right your dog will follow. Keep in mind that all human bodies move differently (dance uniquely), even if you are less steady in comparison to your brother, if you do the same pattern of motions each time your dog will learn to understand. Dogs are highly social beings, they can adapt to any human body.

My little dog does obedience! I do not compete, because for me there are certain asks from obedience that I disagree with. (ex. one trainer told us to only give the dogs one toy at home... which I 100% disagree with). However my dogs greatly improved his ability to approach strange dogs from the exercises we did/do in obedience.

I am sure you will find your rhythm soon

 

[Sparkles99]

Hmmm... I see what you mean, Shezbug & fashionfobie, & will endeavour to do this. It's a lot to remember. I endorse more than one toy; that sounds unnecessary & pointless.

This evening my brother & twin stopped by. He was shocked that there was no protest when she's crated at night. Turns out, I misunderstood how far they'd gotten, so confidently put her in it & expected it to work. It did. I begin to think it's more about attitude than anything else. Even though I now know, it's still working!!