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Paco, I've lost his trust, please help!

Snowghost

Rollerblading along the road
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Terri
I haven't posted in so long, between jobs, Covid, another job loss, then cancer and now radiation treatments, its been a rocky road for Paco and I. We have been together 3 years, he is 24 and spent most of his life abandoned and neglected, underfed, and not socialized. We have made great progress, veggies, out of his cage, learned to scoot over so I can change his water. Well, without the routine we are both out of sync. I know he feels my anxiety. He has tail feathers now have grown in, but he has starting plucking his right wing, left wing is bald. I know its stress and schedule change. I'm in tears writing this. Without our morning usual routine, me up, shower, feed Paco, off to work and then our evening routine has changed too. He used to be really good, I would say I"m getting in the shower, I have to go bye byes, see my other baby, (granddaughter) go to work etc. I turn off the lap top, the YouTube music, close back door, turn on his radio in his room and he goes in his cage. Well I was slowly getting him used to a larger dowel perch, took me almost a year to get him on it. He finally stepped on it and well I had it placed wrong and it fell with him on it.

To say I was consumed with guilt is beyond words. Now I can't even get him into his cage. I don't blame him. Yesterday was total drama, I was full of anxiety, I tried every treat to bribe him back to his cage. I was going to be late to my treatment and I started crying. I had to grab a towel and cover him up and pry him off the cage to get him in. He came out last night and we did our usual routine. He refused to get in his cage. Our night time routine is, I make my bed, read a book and go nite nite. I tell him this. He just stood on his door and stared at me. I count to three and turn off the light, nope he wouldn't move.

So I laid down read my book and said the same thing. I left him alone and turn the dimmer on night stand light low. I woke up at 2am and he was in his cage. Today I didn't let him out. I fed him his warm veggies, changed his water. I haven't let him out and I feel terrible.

Please can anyone offer some advice on how I can get him to trust me again. He is all I have. I thought about giving him away to someone who can devote 24 hours to him but, I just can't, it took 3 years to get this far with him and he is my buddy. I'm scared no one would understand him like I do. We have come so far and I don't want to give up.
 

macawpower58

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First thing is you need to calm down. When you're not calm, he's not sure what's up.
Is his room safe if he is not caged? My first reaction is allow him to sit on his cage if the room is safe.
Do not give him up.
Paco would rather weather the ups and downs with you, than be at another strangers home.
Perhaps make sure his room is safe, and he refuses to go in, allow him to stay out on top for now.

Go back to your normal schedule. If he's not cooperating, don't pay much attention, go about your day.
Talk lots, move slowly. Bribe him to death! Food is the best when we're asking for forgiveness.
 
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Snowghost

Rollerblading along the road
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Terri
First thing is you need to calm down. When you're not calm, he's not sure what's up.
Is his room safe if he is not caged? My first reaction is allow him to sit on his cage if the room is safe.
Do not give him up.
Paco would rather weather the ups and downs with you, than be at another strangers home.
Perhaps make sure his room is safe, and he refuses to go in, allow him to stay out on top for now.

Go back to your normal schedule. If he's not cooperating, don't pay much attention, go about your day.
Talk lots, move slowly. Bribe him to death! Food is the best when we're asking for forgiveness.
Oh thank you, yes the room is safe, but I could make it a lot more safe if I wasn't home. I just was in total panic and I know he picked up on that. I"m not new to parrots, I had an Amazon for 25 years. Its just CAG's are so dang gone sensitive, I had know idea. LOL love the bribe him to death, they are a sucker for food, too bad its the junk food. Again, thank you for your reply!

Hugs!
 

Pixiebeak

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Gosh I wrote a Long post and lost it.

I would explain and apologize, something gets through.

Then bribe! I've won my way back with many bribes .

Because they are so good at reading us, you want to be taking a humor approach or happy calm. Humor works best for me. I'm like oh you silly goose it's the end of the world now is it? I swear I start seeing a glint of humor back before they thaw out. But if you s t timid or nervous then they feel there is something to be timid and nervous a out
 

flyzipper

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I"m not new to parrots, I had an Amazon for 25 years.
You've got the experience to lean on, so...
We have made great progress, veggies, out of his cage, learned to scoot over so I can change his water...
Try to remember what helped achieve these results, and focus on that rather than the current setbacks. Don't give up on things that you know are right if they don't immediately show results.

Believe in the process and the positive results will come.

Until you get the return-to-cage or improve the safety of the room, my suggestion would be that Paco remains in his cage when you've got an appointment or other commitments. Time pressures in those stubborn situations don't lend themselves to positive outcomes (as you've observed), so anticipate and be proactive to avoid the need to be reactive.
 

Clueless

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Exactly what they said.

You are stressed right more with your medical issue and that's what he's picking up on.

When you are stressed, go for a walk. Put distance between you. I had to do that when MC was ill. It definitely affects them and like you said, grey's pick it up more.

When you're nearby him just try humming silly songs that will make you smile. Mr. Rodgers neighborhood? Shark song?
 

Tyrion

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Like others have said calm down before interacting with him ..they pick up on everything ..I would treat and treat and treat some more he will get the idea that you are full of good things.. you have worked with him for 3 yrs dont give up it just takes time as you well know :hug8:
 

Snowghost

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Terri
You've got the experience to lean on, so...

Try to remember what helped achieve these results, and focus on that rather than the current setbacks. Don't give up on things that you know are right if they don't immediately show results.

Believe in the process and the positive results will come.

Until you get the return-to-cage or improve the safety of the room, my suggestion would be that Paco remains in his cage when you've got an appointment or other commitments. Time pressures in those stubborn situations don't lend themselves to positive outcomes (as you've observed), so anticipate and be proactive to avoid the need to be reactive.
Well I did leave him in his cage this morning. He kind of looked at me funny, but I just kept my usual morning chatter and gave him his tiny piece of Doritos for being good, (don't wig everyone, he gets a very small amount of a cracker or shelled peanut as a treat)

I came home went through the same I"m home routine, You are all correct, I just need to calm down and keep doing what I've been doing. Its just been an emotional roller coaster and when I had to towel him (only second time in 3 years) I think I was more upset then he was. Those guys are strong, he wasn't going to let go of the bars for anything.

Soon this will be behind me and pray that life will get back to "normal"

I knew this group would be helpful, I appreciate each and everyone of you!
 

Snowghost

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Virginia
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Terri
Exactly what they said.

You are stressed right more with your medical issue and that's what he's picking up on.

When you are stressed, go for a walk. Put distance between you. I had to do that when MC was ill. It definitely affects them and like you said, grey's pick it up more.

When you're nearby him just try humming silly songs that will make you smile. Mr. Rodgers neighborhood? Shark song?
OH Clueless, how are you? I think of you and MC often and my heart went out to you with him. Not sure what the shark song is lol. I really need to work on my time management skills to, since that causes me anxiety. Life sure isn't for sissies and having a feathered baby sure has its challenges, only bird people will get it though. Hugs sweetie! Glad to see you are still with this group.
 

Snowghost

Rollerblading along the road
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Virginia
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Terri
Gosh I wrote a Long post and lost it.

I would explain and apologize, something gets through.

Then bribe! I've won my way back with many bribes .

Because they are so good at reading us, you want to be taking a humor approach or happy calm. Humor works best for me. I'm like oh you silly goose it's the end of the world now is it? I swear I start seeing a glint of humor back before they thaw out. But if you s t timid or nervous then they feel there is something to be timid and nervous a out
Hmm something must be up with site, wouldn't let me reply at first. You are so right though they do pick up on everything. They are suckers for bribes too. Just like us its food that isn't good for them! Thank you for your suggestions and maybe the post will show up?
 

Snowghost

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Virginia
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Terri
Baby shark....There's 10B views on this one so maybe this is it? I'm at work and can't open

OMG I'm hysterical, Paco is going to think I've lost my mind. He does like KC and the Sunshine Band, That's the Way I like it, and Boogie Man, another one he likes is Get Up Dance by Blanco Brown. I don't think I've laughed this much in weeks, thank you so much.
 

Pixiebeak

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426
oh this made rember my flock calm down song is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star! They loved it so much when I had a toddler you tube channel on. Whenever they get riled up I play or sing it , instant quiet!

I'm totally going to play them baby shark so g and see what happens!
 
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