New human baby now conure biting

[Tiki]

Hi All. I’m hoping you have some advice please. I’ve had a green cheek conure named Tiki for the last 8 years. She’s been pretty friendly, steps up reliably, and absolutely loves cuddling in my hair. We haven’t done much training with her but have been in general pretty lucky with her behavior. She likes both me and my husband. However a few months ago we welcomed a new baby boy. And things have been going downhill a bit with Tiki as a result. I know we haven’t had as much time for her but I’m trying to work on that now. However, she’s pretty mad at me and taken to biting instead of stepping up. She will still fly to my shoulder and will cuddle if my husband places her in my hair but she’s not cooperating if I try to do things with her. Another complication is that when the baby naps she tries to scream him awake. We’ve taken to a spritz with a squirt bottle to discourage that but it just adds to her being mad at me. One idea I had is to order a finger protector to protect my finger so I can practice step ups with her again. Do you have any other suggestions on how to improve our relationship again? Thanks so much.

 

[Xoetix]

Oh jeez - poor all of you.

First, using a spray bottle as punishment is generally pretty frowned upon across all species. Is there a different room in the house that she can be put into where she’s less likely to wake up the little one?

To her, you’ve taken what was a pretty stable household, and probably a stable schedule, and throwing a wrench into it. From her point of view, you’ve brought in what is essentially a small bald screaming chickling. She is probably a) Mad that you’ve disrupted her life, and b) More than likely a lump it jealous.

How much time were you spending with her previously, versus what you’re able to spend with her presently? I’ve got two kids, so I definitely understand how difficult it can all be to try and manage something resembling a schedule, while also trying to get at least a little bit of sleep yourself - which is so often catch as catch can.

Are you and your husband both on leave? Or has that already ended? Is there anyway that y’all are able to take shifts where one is with the baby and the other is with the bird? I can thankfully tell you that things with the baby are definitely going to get easier. If he’s not sleeping through the night now, as soon as he starts doing, so everything is going to start to fall into place as far as getting back on a set schedule goes. when he’s napping, are you able to take her into any other room to spend time with her? If you need something to act as a sound buffer, are you able to take her into the bathroom and turn the shower on with the curtains closed or anything like that so that way she can’t go directly into the shower, the entire time, but it just gives a little bit more of a sound barrier? would turning on a radio or anything helper? I think she sounds possibly bored and lonely. Maybe new toys, or something to give her a little bit of a challenge? Like one of those toys where she has to do something (open a lid, flip something over, etc.) in order to get either a food or treat?

I’m sorry this has been such a challenge. It gets easier from here (and then harder again in a couple of years ).

 

[Sparkles99]

Congratulations on your new bouncing baby boy!

I'm sorry I have no bird advice.

 

[Tyrion]

on your new baby

 

[Wardy]

on the baby

The flock dynamic has changed and your conure isnt happy the routine has changed.
Spraying the bird as you have found doesnt work.

@Mizzely might have some advice

I would try and plan some consistant out of cage time with the bird one on one,same time daily and try and make it as energetic and exciting for your bird.
Have you introduced the baby to your bird ? Try sitting nursing the baby close to the bird whilst talking to the bird introduce them to each other.

Good luck

 

[Tiki]

Thank you all for the suggestions and congratulations. Luckily I'm still on leave and while my husband has returned to work, he is able to work from home. So we are still at home with Tiki, though I'm not sure how she will do once we go back into the office. Tiki will likely be really lonely at that point as we've been home for the last couple years during the pandemic. She also used to be out for some afternoon time during our work days but now is mainly out in the evening after the baby has gone to bed. Sometimes when we don't want her to wake the baby, my husband has been taking her into the office. Which is good but it also adds to the reasons why she's still happy with him and not me. I do nurse in the same room as the bird, but she is still in her cage. I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to have her out and about while I nurse because I couldn't easily go intervene if she gets into something. And she has definitely been trying to act out to get attention. We do have some toys that we should probably replace and give her new ones. That's a good idea that might help. I also like the idea of having her out with me but at this point she won't step up for me at all without biting. So I can't pick her up and handle her to cuddle and such as we used to. I ordered these little finger covers to hopefully give me a small measure of protection so I can try to resume handling her and have good positive interactions to repair the relationship. She will let me pet her and will cuddle if my husband handles her or places her on me so that is still something at least. I tried to have her out with me and the baby today and that went ok. She didn't come close to us but also didn't seem quite as mad. We had been so worried about how our corgi was going to adjust to the baby and that ended up going ok but then we didn't anticipate these problems with Tiki.

 

[Wardy]

I think with a bit of time after establishing a routine he will settle down.

 

[Emma&pico]

Congratulations on your baby boy

as you know baby’s change everything I don’t think anyone prepares for how much a tiny little thing changes everything I am sure in time everything will settle into place

your bird was the baby And now that’s changed give it time

my dog went nuts when I was pregnant at about 34weeks until iris was born at 37weeks and didn’t settle until she was about 3months wasn’t my dog fully my husband baby but from 34weeks he had to sleep next to my side of bed with my hand on him (wasn’t even allowed upstairs) or he would cry loud or scratch door jump baby gate which he never had in 7years we had him open cupboard door pull everything out until he got to back of cupboard scratch wood until his nose paws bleed when she was born he had to sleep under or beside her Moses basket until about 3months old then all of a sudden he went back to his normal self sleeping back In kitchen we tried everything for monthsand he justdecided everything was ok again he was never far away from iris followed her everywhere until he died

 

[Mizzely]

Does she have to step up to get your attention? Is she flighted? Does she have "approved" spaces outside of the cage that she can be at?

Try doing things that don't require any contact. Singing, dancing, training, talking, reading a book out loud, etc.

Cuddling might actually have contributed to the problem. Cuddling for birds can quickly go from "this is nice" to "this is my mate". Now you're cuddling a new person - the baby - and that can be seen as them being replaced.

This goes into it a little more:

Site Name - Articles - Behavioral - Sex And The Psittacine

If you must move her, try getting her to step up onto a perch to save your hands.

As for Naptime, that's when I refilled foraging toys! Make her work for her food. 90% of my bird's dry food is not fed in one bowl. It is scattered throughout his area so he has to take time to find and eat it. The more time they are moving and working for food, the less time they can devote to screaming.

Just remember that this moment in life feels SO HARD and SO LONG. You WILL have days that feel impossible. That make you break down and cry and wonder whose idea this was. There will be times when all you want is to sit by yourself in silence and not be needed. That's so normal, even if you feel crazy. It will feel like it will never end, but it will. You will get through this and there will be a new trial to endure and overcome. It's an adjustment for you all!

 

[Shezbug]

As an older mum I now look back and I recall the agonising anxiety and stress I put myself, my babies, friends, family and my pets through trying to keep everything quiet for my kids sleep times.
The best thing I ever learned to do when they were very little was to allow noise to happen while they were trying to sleep- they learned in less than a week (even though it still stressed me) to ignore the sounds instead of jumping at the doorbell and waking up screaming, they actually slept much more soundly in normal daily noises than they had been in the quiet I was trying to provide.
You’ll find getting your baby used to sleeping through noises like your bird screaming, the vacuum or the phone or door bell ringing is super helpful, especially when they get a bit older. For that reason I personally would not try to keep the bird quiet when bubs is sleeping.
I don’t mean to sound heartless but babies will sleep through extremely loud noises if they’re not left to get used to silence.

Your bird isn’t maliciously trying to wake your baby or holding a grudge towards you to make you pay for something, she’s simply communicating the only way she knows how and your common language and relationship with her has altered significantly. She’s likely very confused and overwhelmed by all the changes in you and also in your home.

If this were me in your shoes, I would try to forget how you used to do things with her because everything for her has changed regarding the relationship she once had with you and the home dynamics she was used to- I’d take this opportunity to start to rewrite a new relationship for you both that also includes bubs.

I strongly suggest you never use spraying her to teach her anything as it won’t work for the intended purpose and will only add to confusion and further communication breakdown.

 

[Tiki]

Thanks for some more great ideas. I gotta say @Shezbug, my husband and I both perked up at your idea to stop trying to keep the house quiet during naps. It has been so hard to try to keep everything quiet and there is a lot of appeal in giving up that method. And our corgi is definitely voting for this change in handling naps so I think we are going to try your suggestion.

To @Mizzely 's points, yes she is flighted and has approved spaces outside the cage. My hesitation with doing that without a reliable step up is that she has lately been trying to attention seek by getting in trouble. So if I can't handle her to remove her from places she shouldn't be then I think I risk making things worse chasing her around the house. She "wins" by getting attention (even negative attention) and learns it is a fun game to run around where she isn't supposed to be. I do like your ideas for non-contact bonding activities so we should give some of those a try. And we never really got her to successfully forage for her food. We would put things like her favorite sunflower seeds in some containers and they would stay there. We could try to reboot foraging training though. That might really help when we have to go back to work since she's not been alone during the work day in awhile.

And we have noted everyone's response to not use the squirt bottle anymore. In good news, over the past few days of concerted effort to try to repair things I've seen some progress. She's stepped up for me twice today without biting! So hopefully we can find a new normal for the now expanded family.