tahura
Checking out the neighborhood
- Joined
- 8/27/24
- Messages
- 3
- Real Name
- Saiyeda Fatima Tahura
so I..love cockatiels. I had two. Snow and Pika. I took them from this aviary, both sick little babies. I raised them by myself. Like my own children. My babies.. pika was slightly older. I didn't know there gender yet. My time with them only a few months. I dedicated myself I tried. One day I was in another room. Their cage maybe open. I came to the room to find pika unresponsive. I broke down a long time to get over the death. My baby.. And now after a few more months. I travelled. From my home to my nana's house. Snow was in cage. The fan of the room on. My younger sister took snow out. I told her to keep snow properly or put him back in the cage because snow knew how to fly now. My baby was my everything. He used to preen me. My eyes, brows, lips. He'd come to me. He loved my scritches, he'd demand them. He'd seek me out. He'd perch on my head and refuse to leave. He's fly to me when I put him down. He'd fly to me when I'd go in the kitchen knowing I'd make him food. He was my everything. My day and night. I had promised myself If I lost snow ever...then I am never again trying to keep a pet. Never. There are so many if's now. what if I had kept him with me. what if I had turned the fan off. what if I had just..not come to my nana's house. what if I didn't trust my sister to keep him safe. She kept snow on the bed and went away... My poor baby flew and hit the fan. He was soft.. instant death. I cried for hours.. grieved. The death was a testament. No matter how much I care. I don't have any more courage. I am never..getting a pet again. Only because no matter how much I love them or care for them or pet them or cherish them...It isn't written it in my destiny for me to actually keep one... they're not...meant to stay or survive with me and snow's death was a testament. I am just not...meant to have a pet.. not deserving enough...no matter how much I care or cherish them like my own children. My sweet babies. I can't say how sorry I am. I cannot ever express how sorry I am. Maybe if I never got them in the first place...maybe if I just never had them, they'd be alive. Just a few hours ago he was on my shoulder..preening himself and me. My sweet baby... I can't get over it. Eventuallly I will. I didn't make much post in this forum but this is gonna be my last one because this is my retreat. I am sorry for the vent here, I just don't know what else to do. I just wish...it was different somehow, I could turn back time. This hurts so bad. This is my surrender. I am not getting a pet let alone a bird ever again, They are just.. I am just not meant to have one. My babies.. I am so sorry