My precious baby died on the way home from the vets... I can't stop crying

[Xoetix]

If you are considering this, then keep her in a ziplock bag in the fridge.

Definitely fridge, not freezer - and do it as soon as possible, tissue unfortunately breaks down terribly quickly

 

[Khizz]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It was clear to us all how much you loved and cared for her. Please don't blame yourself.

 

[tka]

I'm so profoundly sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately she did have a lot of things stacked against her: a poor diet and history of egg laying means that she was almost certainly battling malnutrition and low calcium, her unusual mutation may have meant that her immune system wasn't as strong as it could have been, she may have been exposed to all sorts of things before you got her. It certainly sounds like there was something not quite right in terms of her health, but unfortunately it's hard to tell exactly what was wrong. Her bloodwork (and a necropsy) may help answer some questions, but you might never get a definitive answer.

What I do know is that her last month with you was filled with love and the very best care you could give her. You gave her everything that was in your power to give: more space, the exercise that she could tolerate, a vastly improved diet and huge amounts of love.

Take all the time you need to grieve. It is a huge, sudden loss and bound to leave you reeling.

 

[Mizzely]

Oh no I'm so sorry. You've been doing so much good work with her

 

[DebS]

I feel so terrible. I can't stop crying. I can't believe this is real

I took macaroni to an exotics vet today. There are barely any vets who deal with exotics in Wales let alone avian vets, and I had only been able to access a regular vet who reluctantly examined her and gave her an all clear when I first got her. I called and researched extensively and finally got an appointment with a vet who's familiar with cockatiels and other small to medium parrots. It was a 2 hour car journey- I don't drive and bribed a friend to take us... I thought it would be worth it. The reason I wanted to take her so desperately ASAP is I'd noticed breathing problems whenever she exercised which I've posted about. Plus she has been acting docile, inactive and low energy since I got her and I was worried her low energy was symptomatic of something. I've been trying my best. Got her a bigger cage, toys, altered her diet from all seed to seed, pellets and fresh veg. Spent lots of time with her every day and researched so much about what she needs to be happy and healthy. I just loved this bird so much

So today after her morning shower, and some snacks and scratches, she's acting normally. A bit low energy but nothing unusual. I take her to the vet, she has a physical exam, is weighed, her poop is looked at inside her carrier, she does some tests on the poop and some bloodwork done and... all clear. Everything is normal.

Now she's gone. She did not make the 2 hour car journey home

Idk what to do with myself. Her empty cage is with me in the room and I just keep crying

 

[DebS]

I’m so so sorry for your loss. That’s so heartbreaking.

 

[Greylady1966]

I'm so sorry.

 

[macaronish]

I'm so profoundly sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately she did have a lot of things stacked against her: a poor diet and history of egg laying means that she was almost certainly battling malnutrition and low calcium, her unusual mutation may have meant that her immune system wasn't as strong as it could have been, she may have been exposed to all sorts of things before you got her. It certainly sounds like there was something not quite right in terms of her health, but unfortunately it's hard to tell exactly what was wrong. Her bloodwork (and a necropsy) may help answer some questions, but you might never get a definitive answer.

What I do know is that her last month with you was filled with love and the very best care you could give her. You gave her everything that was in your power to give: more space, the exercise that she could tolerate, a vastly improved diet and huge amounts of love.

Take all the time you need to grieve. It is a huge, sudden loss and bound to leave you reeling.

Thank you so much for all your advice on my threads... it helped me care for her the best I could while she was here. I miss her so much already, my room feels oddly quiet without hearing her beak grinding in her sleep or her soft little happy chirping. She deserved so much better and I wish I could have gotten her sooner.

 

[macaronish]

This was her right before we went to the vet

I had only recently made a breakthrough with her in her allowing me to scritch her head.

 

[macaronish]

Another thing, earlier today I caught her eating her own droppings from the cage bars. I moved her and cleaned it immediately but it probably signifies yet again, malnutrition.

 

[MiniMacaw]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how devastating it is to lose a bird we try so hard for. Know that they feel our emotions so well and know when they’re loved. That’s the best gift you could have given her and she had that, even if for the short amount of time she had left.

 

[tka]

Try to remember that yes, she did deserve better - but that she deserved better from the people who had her for the first four years of her life. As soon as she came into your care, you did everything you could to give her a wonderful life. I've watched your knowledge and understanding of parrot care grow by the day. You've asked good questions, made every change that we've suggested and have a really thoughtful, caring approach.

It is terribly sad that you lost her at such a young age. It will not help your grief much right now, but I hope that in time it helps ease the hurt to know that she did not die neglected and alone. She really did have a taste of all the joys of life, even if we all wish it had been longer.

 

[macaronish]

Try to remember that yes, she did deserve better - but that she deserved better from the people who had her for the first four years of her life. As soon as she came into your care, you did everything you could to give her a wonderful life. I've watched your knowledge and understanding of parrot care grow by the day. You've asked good questions, made every change that we've suggested and have a really thoughtful, caring approach.

It is terribly sad that you lost her at such a young age. It will not help your grief much right now, but I hope that in time it helps ease the hurt to know that she did not die neglected and alone. She really did have a taste of all the joys of life, even if we all wish it had been longer.

Just yesterday I took her outside in her carrier to enjoy an unseasonably warm day and she was so happy in the sunshine, watching the other birds... we went to the park and I gave her pets through her cage bars. I had just increased her hours of sleep to reduce hormones and ordered her new foraging toys... it was just so sudden. Thank you for your words, it really means a lot that much more experienced members think I was doing right by her since she was my first bird and I always worried...

 

[zoo mom]

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[rocky'smom]

I'm so sorry for your loss .

 

[Icey]

Wow I am in shock to hear
this.
Everything was going so well for you both, then this.
My heart is breaking for you.
You did everything you could and asked for advice when you weren't sure about something.
I wish I could give you a real hug.
My thoughts and prayers are with you to help you heal.
You gave her the best life in a month than she has probably had her whole life.
Remember that and your beautiful memories of her.

 

[LovieLouie]

So sorry for your loss

 

[macaronish]

Knowing what I know now I wish I had asked her previous owner so many more questions about her previous life. I barely knew anything. I don't even know if she ever went to the vet in her life before she came to me, all I knew was she laid a lot of eggs so was definitely female and her owner told me to feed her this seed mix... that's it. And that she didn't "like" to come out of her cage so she only came out once a week. I don't know if she ever had a bath or a shower in her life before I got her, if she was ever taken outside, if she'd ever even seen a vegetable before. If she slept in a busy or a quiet room. Etc. I dunno, I'm just musing... if I get another bird in the future I feel so much more prepared.

 

[AussieBird]

I am so sorry!
You truely loved her and gave her the best care you possibly could, please never never blame yourself!
Fly high sweetie

 

[Sparkles99]

I'm very sorry to hear this. She died loved. What a wonderful gift you gave her after so long waiting. May she fly free over the bridge, healthy & joyful, having known that most precious gift on earth - to love & be loved. I'm sure you'll see her again.