My precious baby died on the way home from the vets... I can't stop crying

[macaronish]

I feel so terrible. I can't stop crying. I can't believe this is real

I took macaroni to an exotics vet today. There are barely any vets who deal with exotics in Wales let alone avian vets, and I had only been able to access a regular vet who reluctantly examined her and gave her an all clear when I first got her. I called and researched extensively and finally got an appointment with a vet who's familiar with cockatiels and other small to medium parrots. It was a 2 hour car journey- I don't drive and bribed a friend to take us... I thought it would be worth it. The reason I wanted to take her so desperately ASAP is I'd noticed breathing problems whenever she exercised which I've posted about. Plus she has been acting docile, inactive and low energy since I got her and I was worried her low energy was symptomatic of something. I've been trying my best. Got her a bigger cage, toys, altered her diet from all seed to seed, pellets and fresh veg. Spent lots of time with her every day and researched so much about what she needs to be happy and healthy. I just loved this bird so much

So today after her morning shower, and some snacks and scratches, she's acting normally. A bit low energy but nothing unusual. I take her to the vet, she has a physical exam, is weighed, her poop is looked at inside her carrier, she does some tests on the poop and some bloodwork done and... all clear. Everything is normal.

Now she's gone. She did not make the 2 hour car journey home

Idk what to do with myself. Her empty cage is with me in the room and I just keep crying

 

[Kiwi's Dad]

I'm so sorry for your loss

 

[macaronish]

I'm so sorry for your loss

It isn't fair... I don't know what happened

Could it have been fumes in the car?

She was such a good bird...

 

[macaronish]

I keep blaming myself. She was only 4yo and I only had her for a month. I feel like it must be my fault.

 

[Pixiebeak]

awwww no sweetie you are not to blame !!!
Im crushed reading this ..

Honestly I think she had a health issues....she looked thin...abd a little off I had thought she was an older girl. This mutation of color is often linked with a lower immune system and health issues.

Burds hide illness...nothing that you missed at all. With breathing issues and low energy you did the right thing in getting her to the veterinarian. If she had passed in the next few days you would have always wondered if getting her to the vets could have saved her . She already had something serious going on. You absolutely did the right thing, you are nit to blame.

She was so loved by you, she loved you back so much . Im glad she got to experience that. It is never enough time . But the time you shared was magic .

 

[Kiwi's Dad]

Please don't blame yourself @macaronish, it could have also been a genetic issue

 

[macaronish]

awwww no sweetie you are not to blame !!!
Im crushed reading this ..

Honestly I think she had a health issues....she looked thin...abd a little off I had thought she was an older girl. This mutation of color is often linked with a lower immune system and health issues.

Burds hide illness...nothing that you missed at all. With breathing issues and low energy you did the right thing in getting her to the veterinarian. If she had passed in the next few days you would have always wondered if getting her to the vets could have saved her . She already had something serious going on. You absolutely did the right thing, you are nit to blame.

She was so loved by you, she loved you back so much . Im glad she got to experience that. It is never enough time . But the time you shared was magic .

She was super light and tiny the vet did say she was on the thinner side and to call if she lost any weight at all, since she was only 78g I tried so hard to improve her diet but I think the fact she was on a really bad diet and malnourished for all her life, maybe it was too late... I'm so devastated

 

[Clueless]

We can't change their past, no matter how hard we try.

Take comfort that she knew she was loved. So many birds don't even have that.....

 

[Zara]

I´m very sorry for your loss

As others have said, it could have been any number of things

 

[Emma&pico]

Oh no I am so sorry I really hope your ok as can be

 

[Pixiebeak]

She was super light and tiny the vet did say she was on the thinner side and to call if she lost any weight at all, since she was only 78g I tried so hard to improve her diet but I think the fact she was on a really bad diet and malnourished for all her life, maybe it was too late... I'm so devastated

That is very thin. Her health issues had been going on a while. Malnutrition does effect their immune system and internal organs. You just didn't get enough time to help repair all of that.
I really feel it was such a blessing for her to get to be with you. It's so devastating to you. But if you look at it from her life, it was a blessing, it was peace and love and comfort. It makes me cry , knowing she was so wrapped up in love. I know how hard this is, but she was meant to be with you, you were her angel

 

[Tiel Feathers]

Oh no, I’m so very sorry to hear this! It isn’t your fault, and it wasn’t the car ride either. She obviously had something going on before she met you. She was blessed to have such a loving home in her last days. I know it’s not fair because she was so young and you researched and did everything right. I hope you adopt another lucky bird in the near future. Did the blood work come back already? Maybe that might give you some answers.

 

[Xoetix]

Oh my god, I am so sorry!

This cannot possibly be your fault! You were doing everything so right!

Are you able to get a necropsy done? I’m so absolutely blown away. I’m devastated for you. You were the best with her, you were doing everything right.

Have you called that vet?

 

[expressmailtome]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[April]

Oh no! Oh I'm so terribly sorry to hear this. She was such a little darling and you loved her so much and gave her an amazing life once you adopted her. Take comfort in your happy memories with her.

 

[April]

I wonder if she may have had a bleeding issue from the blood draw. I lost my healthy 3 year old Greenie to a hematoma after her blood draw.

 

[macaronish]

Thank you everyone... still waiting on bloodwork but I'm going to call the vet Monday morning and let them know what happened... considering a necropsy if the bloodwork doesn't reveal anything. She was such a sweet precious girl and I'm so sad our time was so short. I got her prepared for a 20 year commitment.

Would love another tiel but not yet... I didn't have her long but it feels wrong considering replacing her atm. Maybe in a few months. I've learned a lot and I hope my knowledge can be useful in giving another bird a loving home but I can't go through this again with an unhealthy bird... believe adopting is better but my heart can't take unhealthy fits dying prematurely due to poor human care or irresponsible breeding...

 

[Shezbug]

I’m so sorry for your loss

 

[fashionfobie]

I am so sorry this happened. I am sorry for your pain and your loss.

It is not your fault. I am sending you supportive thoughts.

 

[Zara]

I don´t mean to be grim, but maybe this is helpful,

considering a necropsy

If you are considering this, then keep her in a ziplock bag in the fridge.