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My lovebird doesn't trust me. HELP!!

Jonathorus

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Jonathon Daniel
I have had a lovebird since April 2021. Her name is Passion (Fitting name I know lol). Before I had Passion I had gotten a Parakeet named Eden on September 10th 2020, sadly she died on February 5th 2021. So when I first got Passion I didn't spend a lot of time with her because I was still grieving about Eden. I also have a bit of a temper, my parents scold me and I lose my cool. The last thing a bird needs is a screaming young man. This still happens occasionally, I'm trying my best to stop this.
Do any of you guys have suggestions to help me bond with her? I've started by putting my hand outside her cage. Also she is a biter.
My requests:
  • Idea's for bonding
  • How to be patient with bonding
  • How to deal with the biting.
-Jonathorus
 

FeatheredM

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Controlling feelings around birds is very important. As angry as you feel you just need to not let your feelings get in the way. It seems impossible(because you want to show anger, and you have to push against that want), but it actually is possible.
 

Feathery

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While I am new to birds, I do have quite a bit of experience with dogs and different training methods. I realize they're different species, but there's a very similar foundation.

How was your relationship with your previous bird? Do you think you may be placing expectations unfairly onto the new bird based on your interactions with your late bird?

If you're getting bit, you're not observing her body language and respecting boundaries. If you're forcing her into situations where she has no control or escape, she may feel her last resort is to bite.

What is it you're doing at the time the bite occurs?

I am currently in the process of winning over my two newly acquired birds. At first they ran away to the other side of the cage when I approached. It's been slow progress just under a week. But they don't run away now when I approach. And when I sit next to the cage, they will calm down and go about their business.

I keep my movements very slow, my voice low and calm. I sing to them or talk to them, myself, on the phone, or even my dog. I'm just letting them get used to my presence and trust I'm not going to eat them.

I also drop treats for them when I come to sit with them. They'll begin to associate my coming with rewards.

Just a few thoughts! Hope this helps.
 

Jonathorus

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Jonathon Daniel
My relationship with Eden was a very good one. She would perch on my hand, she would take naps on my pillow and groom my hair. Eden never bit me once.
When I try to take Passion out she bites me, but now I just leave the door open and let her come out if she wants to.
She mainly tries to bite me when my hand is outside the cage near the back. I'm guessing that the back is her safe spot. I am teaching her "No Bites"
 

FeatheredM

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I couldn't seem to pull up the pictures, maybe you use the attach files option? :) I would love to see your birds.
 

Bird besti

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I can understand that it's Really difficult to give love to a new animal when you've lost the former one. But if you really want the bird to trust you, you must follow some measures
1. Respect their boundaries
Give them their time to observe and adjust being close to you. After taking a step forward,wait for it to contribute.
2. Keep your voice low
Try to keep a soothing and soft voice with the bird.
3. Feel loyal for it
To love a bird,you must feel love than showing it. Animals understand internal emotions more than apparent
You may try some food to call it but if you'll keep comparing it with the older bird, you're bond will never be strong. Although it's hard but have to be done.
 

Feathery

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Thanks for posting the photos.

I'm sorry for your loss. Do you know why it died if I may ask?

A couple of things:

What is your routine with the bird? Do you keep it's cage covered aside from a set rest period?

It looks like it's got a seed diet in the dish. A diet of fresh foods will go a long way not onlu to keep the bird healthy, but will really amp up the value of seeds which you can use a treats! Sort of bribe the birds attention in exchange for treats. You may do some research on it. Its really not difficult or expensive as you can make a batch and freeze most of it.
 

Jonathorus

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My routine with Passion is uncover her around 6:10 AM (EST) before I leave for school and cover her around 9:00 PM (EST). I only cover her when I'm going to vacuum my room or do something a bit noisy. Also I was down on my mixture of food to mainly seeds, and I just put together a new batch. My mom buys our food online I think it's called "Top Parrot Food" My mother just made some chop last night and I'll give it to her when I get home.
Last night I sang to her a little bit and then played my keyboard before covering her
:)
 

Jonathorus

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How was your relationship with your previous bird? My relationship with my previous bird Eden was a great relationship, she never bit me. She would groom my hair, she loved to take naps on my pillow.
Do you think you may be placing expectations unfairly onto the new bird based on your interactions with your late bird? I think it's possible that I am doing this. Yea I am doing that because Eden never bit me I thought that Passion wouldn't
What is it you're doing at the time the bite occurs? When the bite occurs I usually am trying to take her out of the cage. Now when I want her to come out I just open the door to her cage and let her come out if she wants to.
What is your routine with the bird? My routine with Passion looks like this; I wake up around 6:00 AM (EST) on weekdays for school, I uncover her around 6:10-6:15 AM. When I come home from school I check if she ate her pellets because if she ate everything I'll give her new food. Around 9:00 PM (EST) I cover her up (Weekdays still). On the weekends I usually sleep in until around 8:30, I uncover her around 9:00 and I give her new food and water. On the weekends I cover her up around 10:00 PM.
Do you keep it's cage covered aside from a set rest period? Not usually. I only cover her at night and if I'm going to vacuum my room or do something noisy.
Do you know why it died if I may ask? (This question is about my previous bird) Not really. Eden never had a great grip on her perches sometimes she'd slip and fall, but she'd always got back up. So during the night I heard a small thud and thought Eden must have fallen. The next morning when I uncovered her she was lying there dead. My mom thinks that she had a stroke during the night and assured me that she felt no pain.

-Jonathorus
 

Zara

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Yea I am doing that because Eden never bit me I thought that Passion wouldn't
Eden was a budgie and Passion is a lovebird hen, that´s quite a difference. Female lovebirds are notoriously nippy, and even the super tame ones will nip if they need to.

When the bite occurs I usually am trying to take her out of the cage. Now when I want her to come out I just open the door to her cage and let her come out if she wants to.
Even my ¨tamest¨ girls will give me a good nip if my hand goes in their cage a certain way, mainly if they are on the cage floor, I never put my hand in. If they are up near the top, I can offer a flat hand below them and they will climb down onto it.
When eggs are around, I always offer a flat hand outside the cage, lower than the door to hop on and never get bit. I posted a video getting one of my girls out of her cage while she has eggs, she will charge, bite and hiss at me if I go near that door, but offering my hand in the way I described, she will hop on out and act like a normal friendly bird, like butter wouldn´t melt. I haven´t been bitten in many years by any lovebird.
My boys have no issues with my hands in their cages, though that is irrelevant here.

Respecting a birds boundaries, and patience are key to success in having a healthy relationship with your bird.
Figuring out a way to control your temper around your bird is also very important. Being stressed or angry around her will make her cautious or even afraid of you.
If I get upset, I don´t go near my birds, I distance myself from them. Me and my partner have recently had many losses between us, and when we´ve wanted to cry or have been really emotianal, we take it to the other room away from the birds.
 

Feathery

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Figuring out a way to control your temper around your bird is also very important. Being stressed or angry around her will make her cautious or even afraid of you.
Great advice! As humans, we are obviously very verbally where as animals are more tuned more in to body language and energy than most of us are.
 

DORIS123

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Female lovebirds are quite aggressive. I have 2 girls as well. Handraised since they were 3 weeks. Just a side note that if.they are hormonol they will also be really aggressive. So dont give them a chance to build a nest. And also, spending time with them will definitely help. I gave them 9 hour of out of cage time. Basically, they wake up, they come to the living room and hang out with me. We have roughly 2 hr for our birds every day. I do notice a noticable difference when u spend more time with them. Patience and respect are the key to a good relationship. Put yourself in their shoe, thinking about if a strange giant object suddenly move his finger towards you, how would you act. It.will be really scary right. Talk to them like kids, in a positive way, they dont necessarily underatand your words but they understand the tone. Respect their boundary is the mosy important part!!!
 

Jonathorus

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Jonathon Daniel
@DORIS123
Sadly I cannot take her out of my bedroom because we have 3 dogs. But I can try sometime when the dogs are away.
These tips are really helpful. I am starting to notice a difference. I have been more calm and quiet around her, she is not making herself as small as possible which is good.
 
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