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My beloved birds won't allow any human contact.

Django47

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I have two tiels who I love dearly, real companions they mean more than anything in the world to me. I have had them for 16 months now, neither were hand reared and they were between 3 to 6 months old when I bought them from pet store.
Even though we get along just great there is one thing that I can't understand, and that is, why will they not come to me or sit on my hand, in fact neither of them will allow any kind of human contact. It is so frustrating because they are so lovable I want to make a fuss of them. Also I want one day to put on a harness and watch them flying in the open air without walls and ceiling to restrict them. I know they would love it, but they don't.
I am thinking about buying a hand reared tiel that will come to me and just do stuff with me like I see on YouTube or posts in a cockatiel Facebook group, in the hope that my two will copy suit.
If I did this should I get a seperate cage. I have a large Rainforest Peru cage with top perminantly open so if our new addition has to be caged at first, the Peru wouldn't be any good.
I really would love to hear what bird owners think about that and their own experience under similar circumstances.
 

Sylvi_

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It sounds like you dearly love your birds and that’s lovely. The problem may be that you simply haven’t earned their trust yet and/or they’ve bonded to one another & see no need to seek out other sources of affection. Do they readily take treats from you?

Something that may help would be for each of them to have individual time with you, just for short intervals. If over time one makes some progress by taking treats, being more at ease with your hands near them etc., this will be advantageous in making the remaining bird more comfortable around you.
Not every bird is going to like to be pet or point blank, handled. You may have to accept this is their comfort level & bond with them in a different way that doesn’t require handling. Tame or not, parrots are incredibly interactive animals and there’s many ways to form a bond with them without the use of your hands.

As for the young cockatiel, do you have the resources to take on a third bird? Another cage is a must and you have to take into account the extra vet costs/toy costs. If your existing pair didn’t take well to the young one, do you have the time to provide separate time out of the cage during the day?

Another point I just wanted to mention about adding another bird, there’s absolutely no guarantee this baby bird will be up for everything that you wish for. Like harness training, cuddling with you etc. Would you be okay with that?
I’ve cared for an untame bird while having two birds perfectly fine with handling & honestly, it didn’t make a difference in his decision that he just wasn’t interested in my hands haha. He still loved spending time with me and took treats but his comfort level was to not be handled.
That may just be the case for your babies.
I wish you all the luck, just be patient and go at their pace.:heart:
 

tka

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This post has a lot about what you want, and very little about what your birds want. If you want a pet that you can take outside on a lead and will be reliably affectionate, get a dog. Parrots simply aren't wired that way.

Parrots are flock animals. Everything they do is negotiated - from taking it in turns to keep watch for predators while the rest of the flock rests or forages, to how close one parrot can get to another, to asking to be preened. They have subtle ways of inviting others closer or being asked to be left alone. You have to be open to discussion to get anywhere with them.

Much like human friendships, both "people" in the friendship must want to be friends and must agree on what is welcome in that friendship. If you try to force a friendship on a human, they probably won't want to be friends with you. You can't force someone to like what you like, or force them to take part in the activities that you want to do. That will just make them resentful or annoyed, and probably make them not want to be your friend. Instead you have a conversation: "here's a cool thing I've found, want to try it?" and they can say yes or they can say no.

Same with parrots. It doesn't matter what you want. What does matter is asking your parrots what they're interested in, and trying to find some activities that you can enjoy together. There are lots of things you can do - play them music and see if they respond, make some fun toys that you can watch them enjoy, offer them a shower, give them a window perch... @Khizz has a really nice post here: Having a relationship with untamed birds

Some of the things you want are things that a lot of parrots aren't interested in. Harness training, for example, requires a lot of touch that many parrots aren't comfortable with. Some find being in a harness distressing because the harness feels like being grabbed. Some parrots don't like being touched or petted. That's okay. With time and imagination, you can find other ways to interact together.

If you get a cockatiel expecting that it will be like the cockatiels you see on youtube and social media, you'll just be disappointed. All parrots are individuals and have individual likes and dislikes. Social media posts and youtube videos just offer a snapshot of the cute bits: I could put together a 15 minute video of my parrot being cute and asking for headscratches and everyone will think she's the cutest, most affectionate parrot in the world. That 15 minute edited video won't show you her attempting to bite me because I'm attempting to clean her cage out, her yelling because I wasn't in the room, her pooping on me, her destroying something she's not meant to, her chewing a piece of furniture that she's not meant to chew or her ignoring me and chilling out by herself. There are hours and hours of things that don't make it into the cute social media posts.

I think you need to think more carefully about activities that you can share with your tiels and that you'll both enjoy. Forcing a set of expectations on them will just make you unhappy. Do ask for help - lots of people will be able to give you ideas on some fun things to do with them that don't involve you touching them.
 

Khizz

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Your case sounds like mine, even with the length of time. Mine are not tame, and tbh I am completely not fussed about it. Somebody already linked you to my other thread.

I have to warn you about getting a hand-reared tiel in the hopes it will be like those you see on social media. Hand-rearing doesn't give an automatic fast track to a bird's love and attention. In fact, it's very possible that you then end up with 3 tiels who are more into each other than you.

I got into bird ownership with the knowledge that birds aren't really hands-on pets. Accepting that and moving away from attempts at training has really improved my relationship with my two. They aren't stressed at me trying to lead them on my hand and I can sit and enjoy their company :)
 

Zara

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An excellent post by @tka

Something I would like to add (I wrote about it on the thread that a few members have linked here), is,
I am thinking about buying a hand reared tiel that will come to me and just do stuff with me like I see on YouTube or posts in a cockatiel Facebook group, in the hope that my two will copy suit.
will you be able to not discriminate your current birds?
If you brought home a younger bird, and IF that little bird is more open to human interaction (as @Khizz says, this is not guaranteed), would you be able to treat all three birds fairly, equally and without resenting the first two?
I saw just recently someone had two ´tiels, and they allowed them to breed (only one chick grew to adulthood), and they loved the little bird so much they spent all their time with the younger bird and neglected to spend time with the elder two which lead to wanting to rehome the first two birds.

Additionally, the two birds seeing a new bird with you will unlikely make much difference in them wanting to follow suit, however, if you managed to build some trust with one of your current birds, the other would likely copy.
 
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