It’s been 3 months since my baby boy Cecil passed away in a tragic accident caused by a family member. I am still at a loss for words as to how to begin to understand the immense pain and heartache of losing him. He was only 7 years old and had so much more life to live.
Cecil came into my life only 2.5 years ago, as a rescue bird that no one claimed from the local animal shelter. I never in my wildest dreams expected to get a bird, but sure enough Cecil somehow ended up in my life. The first few weeks were rough. We didn’t warm up to each other, but looking back now I could only imagine what he must have felt suddenly being exposed to a new environment. As I researched more about conures, I learned so much from this forum and a local parrot store about dietary needs and mental stimulation. I began testing different chop recipes and would worry constantly about his diet and his stubbornness to eat his vegetables.
As the months passed by he started to get more comfortable with me and would sit on my shoulder, head, or nap behind my ear. He would love to crawl down my shirt to just under my chin and fall asleep as I held him, or tap me for scritches on my cheek to get my attention. When COVID hit I was forced to work from home and he became my trusty sidekick. He was on my shoulder/head for every virtual meeting or client call I had. Everyone knew him and loved him the moment they saw him. I couldn’t start any meeting without having to give an introduction about the little creature asleep on my head. He made everyone laugh every time he would pull out my earphones mid meeting, or tap my cheek for attention while I was trying to talk.
Each morning he would let me know he was awake by tapping on his cage. I would go get him, bring him back to bed where he and I would snuggle for an hour before our days began. Oh how I cherished that time we had together. It was the best part of my day. Him sleeping soundly under my neck or in my shirt, while I watched him and wondered what he could be dreaming about.
He had the best personality, always up to some mischief. He loved shredding tissues, stealing food, and had a nack for finding me no matter where I was in the house. He HATED feet, anything green (he was not a fan of his veggies), or any hair clips - because to him my hair, ears, neck, face, and hands belonged to him.
I’m in my mid 30s and I don’t have a S/O or kids, so Cecil became my baby. I poured every bit of love I had into my little boy, and our bond was like nothing I’ve experienced before. The joy, unconditional love and support he gave me was what I had been searching for my entire life. He was my entire world. I feel like I lost my child. The memories that surround me in every room of my house consume me. I have cried myself to sleep every night since he’s been gone and I don't know how I’ll ever be able to heal. I don’t have much support, and feel so alone with my grief. Not many people can understand the loss of bird and the bond you can have, but if anyone can I know its you guys. I miss my baby sooo much and am just shattered and broken by his loss.
If anyone knows of any support groups, please do let me know. I’m located in the GTA. Thank you for listening!
