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Much needed advice on a neglectful pet owner

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Artagiel

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Well I managed to make some sort of impression. She has him going to me in her will after she passes away. I am looking into a larger place in the future and hope that I will be able to have him come live with me earlier, until then I am just going to keep asking about him and sending toys. I am also getting her a subscription to bird talk magazine for Christmas.

I wish I could have done more for him but I feel a little better that he is doing better now, not perfect but not covered all the time and screaming for food and attention and he has toys to be cycled, he didn't before.
 

MorningGloria

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Well I managed to make some sort of impression. She has him going to me in her will after she passes away. I am looking into a larger place in the future and hope that I will be able to have him come live with me earlier, until then I am just going to keep asking about him and sending toys. I am also getting her a subscription to bird talk magazine for Christmas.

I wish I could have done more for him but I feel a little better that he is doing better now, not perfect but not covered all the time and screaming for food and attention and he has toys to be cycled, he didn't before.
Thanks for sharing Haley. That is pretty great that she's leaving the bird to you. At the very least she recognizes your commitment to the bird's happiness.


Update on my situation:
Came home on Sunday to find that she had gotten a hampster :omg: I mean, seriously? :mad::mad::mad::mad:

But that Sunday I also secured a month to month lease 15 miles away :dance4::dance4::dance4::dance4: I am going to do everything I can to make sure the animals are taken care of once I leave, but I have to admit, I am counting down the days until the 5th. I actually haven't told my roommate about it yet because she's so unstable I'm almost kind of afraid how she'll react. I'm not afraid of a physical threat, but I wouldn't put it past her to start looting through my stuff or something. Honestly with her animal abuse and the many, many other things that have happened with her since I moved in, I doubt that we will ever be friends again.
 

Archiesmom

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Honestly with her animal abuse and the many, many other things that have happened with her since I moved in, I doubt that we will ever be friends again.
Unfortunately this is a very frequent result to living with friends, you get to see their "other" side. Her treatment of the animals is absolutely horrific, and then she goes and gets another one? She is showing classic hoarding tendencies.

IMO, animal hoarding and neglect and being an animal lover can be a thin line sometimes. Everytime I think about getting another pet, I get a very nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach and the first question that runs through my head is "do I have time to give this animal the love and care it needs, and what changes will I have to make to my life to give it to them? Are they feasible changes?" I have a post about a coworker who said I was no better than a hoarder because I have 2 dogs, a cat, 5 (soon to be 6) fish that all live in the same tank, 2 geckos that live in the same tank, and 2 conures. Nearly all were rescues/rehomes. They keep my life very busy, but I guess the point I'm trying to get at is the difference between someone who rescues their animals, like myself, and her. Shameful how she just ties up that Min Pin! And that is the worst form of torture, to lock a bird in a cage and the not feed it, so it can't even fend for itself :mad::mad::mad:

As a volunteer with a rescue organization, we unfortunately see a lot of this :(. I would strongly recommend bringing up the point to her about rehoming her pets, and ask her quite directly what she thinks her animals lives are like. Ask her if she thinks the min pin is happy, and when the last time was it was praised. Ask her when the last time the catbox was cleaned, and ask her when the last time was she took one of her birds out and played with it. Sometimes you need to really dig into these people to make them realize that they need to do what is in the best interest of the pet. Calling a couple local rescues for advice wouldn't hurt, either, and being prepared with contact information for them for her should she come to her senses will help solidify the future for these poor creatures :(
 

MorningGloria

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Oh Natalie you are in NO WAY anything like this woman. One I wouldn't consider having numerous animals an issue at all if you are still providing them with the care and attention they deserve which is what it sounds like you are doing. There are plenty of members here that have 10+ birds as well as dogs and cats and their animals live a better life than most people with just one!

As far as true hoarding, I can certainly sympathize with the desire to rescue homeless or needy animals and getting caught up and overwhelmed. It's certainly not a beneficial situation for the animal and obviously needs to be changed, but it starts from an admirable place. This is not at all what is happening here. It would be one thing if say she didn't have time for a lot of one on one time with the dog because she was making sure all the bird cages were clean, but she does nothing. There is nothing else that is taking up her time. Plus she's BUYING most of these animals. They are not homeless or needy in any way.

She sits at home all day every day and plays on the computer. Even the care for her own child suffers as a result of her laziness. She doesn't even put him to bed at night, the other roommate does it. Keep in mind the roommate works over 40 hours a week, but she can't work because she has to be home for her son even though he's at school 9 hours a day. She's laughing and watching movies with her online friends while someone else is just feet away raising her child for her. It's truly deplorable. :sad8:

Unfortunately talking to her doesn't work. I've tried. She lies to my face. She is perfectly content floating through life, never taking any responsibility for anything no matter how much those around her suffer. They're having money problems and rather than her GETTING A JOB they're trying to find a permanent way to sublease their apartment. Which is so totally illegal and trying to squeeze her ex-husband for every last dime he has. Sigh. I am just so over this situation. I haven't even grazed the surface of all the things going on in there. It's so ridiculous it's almost unreal. I just have to keep reminding myself, 12 DAYS!!!
 

MorningGloria

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Just to give you an idea, here are the pics I took of the cages before I cleaned them. I WISH I could say some of that was spilled food, but no it's all poop. :(
 

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Archiesmom

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Celeste-
That's awful, I hear you about the child neglect :( We currently rent the other portion of a duplex that I'm not entirely sure is a legal duplex, but we weren't aware of it when we signed the lease. Either way, the people upstairs had 8 PEOPLE living with them in their unit. It was INSANE! And then they kicked out the one family, which must have been the Mom's son, and his wife and three kids. About a month later, I went outside to find the 3 kids shivering out in the yard, their parents had dropped them off and taken off for Florida, and no one was home at the other place and the doors were locked. It was the beginning of April (so still pretty cold here) and the youngest one, barely 2 years, was barefoot. I have no idea how long they were out there, they were just huddled up by the other door, it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. I of course couldn't just let them stay out there...

Its led to a very deep involvement in the kids life, and its been extremely difficult for us. Lots of other escapades have since ensued, and more often than not the kids are over, knocking on my door because someone has once again left them unattended over there and I've told them that if they are ever left alone, they need to come over to let me know right away. I'm sorry, you can't have an autistic 7 year old watching a 5 year old and a 2 year old baby. It just doesn't work that way :mad:

Sorry for the rant, back on topic...:sorry:
If she is not stepping up to take care of her pets, and is still continuing to get more, I think it would be worth a shot to at least report her for it. Of course, once you are moved out and removed from the situation, so you can't in any way be liable or considered to be contributing to the animal's neglect. I would just present it as this:
"This woman has these animals, and while I've been living there, I've done my best to take care of them. Prior to me moving in, the condition of the animals was very concerning. This is what I have observed, this is what I am worried is going to continue to happen, and is there anything that I can do, or that can be done?"

Generally, if you call the police and report it, they will at least write up a report, even if they don't investigate. If there is ever an incident where someone else were to report or, or her animal's were to get away from her, etc. etc. that report would be instantly scrutinized if it wasn't done the first time, and an investigation would most certainly be launched. Most places take animal cruelty very seriously these days, and while they might not remove the pets from her ownership, a judge won't hesitate to order a pet owner attend a couple of classes.
 
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Archiesmom

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Oh my lord, those cages haven't been cleaned in WEEKS at least, thats so bad for the bird to be in their own filth like that! And what, it takes 2 minutes to do, remove the paper, throw it in the garbage, reline with paper?!
That's AWFUL.
 

MorningGloria

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That's awful, I hear you about the child neglect :( We currently rent the other portion of a duplex that I'm not entirely sure is a legal duplex, but we weren't aware of it when we signed the lease. Either way, the people upstairs had 8 PEOPLE living with them in their unit. It was INSANE! And then they kicked out the one family, which must have been the Mom's son, and his wife and three kids. About a month later, I went outside to find the 3 kids shivering out in the yard, their parents had dropped them off and taken off for Florida, and no one was home at the other place and the doors were locked. It was the beginning of April (so still pretty cold here) and the youngest one, barely 2 years, was barefoot. I have no idea how long they were out there, they were just huddled up by the other door, it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. I of course couldn't just let them stay out there...

Its led to a very deep involvement in the kids life, and its been extremely difficult for us. Lots of other escapades have since ensued, and more often than not the kids are over, knocking on my door because someone has once again left them unattended over there and I've told them that if they are ever left alone, they need to come over to let me know right away. I'm sorry, you can't have an autistic 7 year old watching a 5 year old and a 2 year old baby. It just doesn't work that way :mad:

Sorry for the rant, back on topic...:sorry:
Don't apologize at all!! You are a SAINT! :hug8:

That must have been just heartbreaking to see. I just don't understand how people could be so cruel. Leaving children out in the cold to fend for themselves?? You really have to have no soul to do such a thing.

I've just never been exposed to anything like this. The boy is also likely autistic. He didn't start talking until he was 4 after the mother in law insisted he go to a special school. He used to line up his cars and sort them into colors and would only communicate through grunting. The school helped a LOT, he's almost like any other kid his age, but she is doing such a disservice to him. He doesn't go outside other than for school. Before he started school he NEVER went out ever. He screams when he's angry because they don't bother setting boundaries, it's easier to just give him whatever he's asking for and send him away. He'll be 6 in December and he still throws tantrums with spitting and hitting like a 2yo. His diet consists solely of prepackaged snacks like pop tarts, little debbies and oreos. The best nutrition he gets is from an occasional lunchable. Veggies and fruit are unheard of.

Now reading through this I didn't really put anything in place for the child when I leave. She wouldn't leave him out in the cold or anything like that, but there is obviously a severe neglect issue and I can't imagine what type of adult her lack of parenting will turn him into. With him though I fear that my interfearing would do more harm than good. I really don't want him to end up in some awful foster home or be bounced from house to house and unfortunately the dad is just as screwy as she is so that's not an option either. It's a no win situation.
 

The Wooden Parrot

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I'd try to teach these people how to better care for thier pets but I know some people just don't get it or don't care. Keep trying until you move then I'd call the SPCA and let them know of the neglect these birds and dog are going through. Follow up to be sure they looked into it. That poor dog will suffer hip problems if he's tied on a tile floor all day. People like that should not be able to have live animals.
 

Archiesmom

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The child thing can be touchy. I've called social services many times on the parents of the kids and filed reports, but I feel the same about you with them bouncing around in foster care. At least now they are with family, and they are all just overworked and weren't prepared to have 3 boys under the age of 7 dropped off on them. I still feel like more could be done with watching them, but efforts are being made. I'm just not ok with leaving the kids alone like that, but who am I to judge, I've never had kids before.

Yeah, but I would definitely file a report on her for animal abuse. Your choice if you want to call SS for the kids...tough situation to be in, its depressing how similar it is to my own :(
 
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