PacificPaulie
Walking the driveway
- Joined
- 4/7/19
- Messages
- 280
- Real Name
- Meagan
Hi there!
So sorry to be late to provide encouragement.
In my experience, grief and its many facets serve various different functions. It's different for everyone, but from what I understand it generally follows as such: pain let's you know you care, what-ifs can show that you are still trying to process and/or protect you from the depth of the pain of your grief by focusing your efforts intellectually rather than emotionally, increased feelings of fear might protect you from repeating the loss, and feeling deep sadness demonstrates genuineness/authenticity in grieving.
For what is worth, I think our basic animalistic nature (that is the innate drive to survive in the face of numerous threats) its proof that all our emotions serve a function and that function will always be preservation; either of ourselves, our loved ones, or (if we're particularly altruistic) strangers in need. That said, feeling the depth of your grief fully might threaten your sense of self thus leading to the thoughts you have about being such a baby about this.
If you can remember, exercising some self compassion and grace will be helpful. What you described sounded frightening...I mean, the type of frightening that could put Stephen King out of business. You sound like you're responding healthily. You hurt, you're sad, you're asking what-ifs, you're leaning into your wife for support, your trying to annihilate the threat toward your other birds, AND you're taking the chance to share incredible vulnerability with an internet group of strangers?
You're doing just what you need to do my good fellow. If you can remember to add in some self-compassion and grace, you will continue to help yourself grieve.
Blessings!
So sorry to be late to provide encouragement.
In my experience, grief and its many facets serve various different functions. It's different for everyone, but from what I understand it generally follows as such: pain let's you know you care, what-ifs can show that you are still trying to process and/or protect you from the depth of the pain of your grief by focusing your efforts intellectually rather than emotionally, increased feelings of fear might protect you from repeating the loss, and feeling deep sadness demonstrates genuineness/authenticity in grieving.
For what is worth, I think our basic animalistic nature (that is the innate drive to survive in the face of numerous threats) its proof that all our emotions serve a function and that function will always be preservation; either of ourselves, our loved ones, or (if we're particularly altruistic) strangers in need. That said, feeling the depth of your grief fully might threaten your sense of self thus leading to the thoughts you have about being such a baby about this.
If you can remember, exercising some self compassion and grace will be helpful. What you described sounded frightening...I mean, the type of frightening that could put Stephen King out of business. You sound like you're responding healthily. You hurt, you're sad, you're asking what-ifs, you're leaning into your wife for support, your trying to annihilate the threat toward your other birds, AND you're taking the chance to share incredible vulnerability with an internet group of strangers?
You're doing just what you need to do my good fellow. If you can remember to add in some self-compassion and grace, you will continue to help yourself grieve.
Blessings!
