Is your bird cuddly?? Daughters friend wants a cuddle bug...

[macawww]

One of my daughters friends, after spending time with my birds, declared she's going to get a cuddly snugglebug parrot herself (she intends to meet a bunch of parrots to find the cuddliest one)

I discouraged this heavily but I am a little worried she's serious... she's been sending my daughter pictures of a baby African grey she wants to put a deposit down on.

This got me thinking... none of my birds are remotely cuddly. My macaw is entirely hands off. I've nearly lost a finger several times when I've had to handle him when he isn't in the mood like for vets visits. He will only step up when he feels like it and won't accept any head petting whatsoever

My gcc, the cuddliest of birds supposedly is also very independent and prefers running around like crazy playing 24/7 to cuddling

Finally my cockatiel is the most cuddly out of my birds but only to the degree that she is a shoulder bird. She doesn't like head scratches and prefers to spend time together training, playing and destroying my clothes

What are your experiences?

 

[Emma&pico]

I have four lovebirds and non of them are cuddly
Pico is the tamest would easy live on me 24/7 and do everything with me but is happy to play on his own when I am not about I’ve tired to give him scratches when he’s rubbed on my hand but he makes a funny noise and pushes my finger away with his beak which is his warning before a small nip

mango comes for millet and tricks then is off with apple pie foraging preening each other and playing together
Apple pie will come for millet but hasn’t landed on me yet

indie is a no hands bird will not step up fly to my arm if I shout her she’s nippy loves being with me but is a cow bag try removing my ears or feckles given half the chance I wouldn’t even attempt to give her head scratches my finger would be like a blood bath

my budgie Henry was not cuddly either was my cockatiel

I’ve found all birds I’ve had prefer to be with me doing tricks or using me a climbing frame or chat on my shoulder treats from my hand but have been really independent

 

[macawww]

I have four lovebirds and non of them are cuddly
Pico is the tamest would easy live on me 24/7 and do everything with me but is happy to play on his own when I am not about I’ve tired to give him scratches when he’s rubbed on my hand but he makes a funny noise and pushes my finger away with his beak which is his warning before a small nip

mango comes for millet and tricks then is off with apple pie foraging preening each other and playing together
Apple pie will come for millet but hasn’t landed on me yet

indie is a no hands bird will not step up fly to my arm if I shout her she’s nippy loves being with me but is a cow bag try removing my ears or feckles given half the chance I wouldn’t even attempt to give her head scratches my finger would be like a blood bath

my budgie Henry was not cuddly either was my cockatiel

I’ve found all birds I’ve had prefer to be with me doing tricks or using me a climbing frame or chat on my shoulder treats from my hand but have been really independent

I feel like independent birds tend to be more well adjusted... with overly cuddly birds it's hard to avoid touching them inappropriately (for example accidentally touching their chest or wings) and I've had people report even accidentally brushing up against these parts while giving head scratches can make the bird hormonal and form an unnatural pair bond. I'm absolutely terrified of one of my birds seeing me as a mate so I've never tried to teach them to like scratches, while some people do. For example one of my friends got her lovebirds to accept scratches by only feeding millet if they allowed it, so the bird associated millet with scratches. This eventually lead to behavioural issues

 

[flyzipper]

One of mine could be defined as cuddly, and it's the reason he's with me -- his over-bonding with his last family caused him to attack the grandkids when they visited.

In my house, he's now overly bonded with me even though I'm aware of the issue and working on it, causing him to be aggressive/defensive/jealous with my other two.

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

If anyone wants a cuddly pet, they should get a cat or a dog.

 

[macawww]

One of mine could be defined as cuddly, and it's the reason he's with me -- his over-bonding with his last family caused him to attack the grandkids when they visited.

In my house, he's now overly bonded with me even though I'm aware of the issue and working on it, causing him to be aggressive/defensive/jealous with my other two.

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

If anyone wants a cuddly pet, they should get a cat or a dog.

I was just ruminating... how do you prevent a pair bond if you're the only person who interacts with your bird on a daily basis, and you only have one bird? My first ever bird was a lovebird as a 19yo, a long time ago... there were very few resources available on avian husbandry at the time, and I had no idea they needed to be kept in pairs, I just thought if I was around a lot, I'd be enough. Anyway, I lived alone and he only ever saw me and interacted with me. I was the only person he "knew" and it was only possible for him to bond to me, so he was very tame and hung out on my shoulder 24/7.

 

[flyzipper]

I'm focusing on this, "We should want that parrot to be fully independent, well able to entertain himself most of the time…foraging for food and interacting with enrichment".
All of my birds are willing and able to interact with me, but am attempting to strike a healthy balance so they don't become dependant on me.
My conure, for example, spends her time out and about all day, and puts herself inside my hoodie when the lights are out and and it's time for bed (I find that mix of independence and togetherness is a good balance). Everyone gets alone time throughout the day when I leave them to their own devices. I bathe/shower them and they dry/preen themselves afterward. We all eat together, and I clean up the kitchen alone (wish they would help with that part).

 

[macawww]

I'm focusing on this, "We should want that parrot to be fully independent, well able to entertain himself most of the time…foraging for food and interacting with enrichment".
All of my birds are willing and able to interact with me, but am attempting to strike a healthy balance so they don't become dependant on me.
My conure, for example, spends her time out and about all day, and puts herself inside my hoodie when the lights are out and and it's time for bed (I find that mix of independence and togetherness is a good balance). Everyone gets alone time throughout the day when I leave them to their own devices. I bathe/shower them and they dry/preen themselves afterward. We all eat together, and I clean up the kitchen alone (wish they would help with that part).

I try to involve my parrots in all of my daily activities for sure... I perch them in the kitchen while I make my morning coffee and clean up every morning, and they get ready with me for the day. My cockatiel is only fed pellets and seeds through foraging activities, she has access to chop all day long but has to look for food she finds tastier and rewarding, so she spends 2-3 hours out of her cage every day digging through her foraging box looking for snacks. My conure will do tricks for treats and enjoys zooming about the room flying from perch to perch, and will spend most of their time destroying and shredding anything she has access to and getting into places she's not allowed the moment I look away. My macaw is a very calm and stoic boy who sort of watches over all this activity with an air of superiority... he loves looking out the window, going out onto the patio in his harness and mimicking outside noises but he's the most calm in temperament out of my birds.

 

[Shannan]

African Grays are not cuddly birds as a rule. Even my Walter who was very accepting of being handled (I could pick him up by gently grabbing his whole body) was not "cuddly". I think encouraging her to wait before getting her own and truly interact with a large variety of birds first might drive the idea home better than you telling her. (Kids tend to push back against adult advice). If possible, she should also meet a truly hormonal bird to know what to expect, especially when you "cuddle" a little too much. Encourage her to keep reading, exploring and remind her that it is better to wait to find the right bird than to settle and either have to regime (with all the guilt that entails) or have a bird that is not ideal for her ever changing lifestyle.

 

[Emma&pico]

I try to involve my parrots in all of my daily activities for sure... I perch them in the kitchen while I make my morning coffee and clean up every morning, and they get ready with me for the day. My cockatiel is only fed pellets and seeds through foraging activities, she has access to chop all day long but has to look for food she finds tastier and rewarding, so she spends 2-3 hours out of her cage every day digging through her foraging box looking for snacks. My conure will do tricks for treats and enjoys zooming about the room flying from perch to perch, and will spend most of their time destroying and shredding anything she has access to and getting into places she's not allowed the moment I look away. My macaw is a very calm and stoic boy who sort of watches over all this activity with an air of superiority... he loves looking out the window, going out onto the patio in his harness and mimicking outside noises but he's the most calm in temperament out of my birds.

I think the problem is when they see you as a mate and trying the mating rituals with you when get aggressive when you aren’t willing/can’t give them the behaviour back or that they get aggressive to others they see as a fret to their relationship/partnership with you

pico sees me as his mate he try’s to feed me clicks does side wards step on my shoulder I have to put him down sometimes when he’s really in the mood he as to go back in his cage to calm down

I can’t wear my hair in a bun or my daughter for that matter as he mates it

he as a cat bell ball that’s his girlfriend even I can’t touch it as he goes nuts and bites hard hanging off my finger until I put it down others lovebirds know not to even go near it
I accidentally stood on his last one I hoped he would forget about it but he’s moved onto another ball that looks nothing like other one
I’ve put it in a basket under his cage and he found it so I just let him have it

Indie bows for him and she done it to mango and me I just turn my back on her and she gets over it pretty quick pico on other hand at times can be very full on with his attempts he was hand raised and I swear he’s got no clue what to do with his hormones

 

[Mizzely]

Cuddly birds = problems.

Site Name - Articles - Behavioral - Sex And The Psittacine

Dogs have evolved alongside humans so petting is enjoyable for them in a friendly way. They do not wish to mate with us because we pet them. You usually don't create behavioral problems by petting your dog.

Most parrots in the wild do allopreen between flock mates and this has been seen to strengthen social bonds - but this is reserved for the head only. They do not preen each other's backs. The only time a bird touches the back of another bird usually is when they are attempting to mate. And then, because they usually are monogamous, anyone that shows their "mate" affection can actually be considered a rival that needs to be driven off - think kids, spouses, other pets in the home. We cannot fulfill their needs so they can become sexually frustrated and develop other undesirable behaviors, such as screaming and feather plucking.

No my bird isn't cuddly. I have had cuddly birds in the past and I did experience behavior problems - attacking other birds, attacking me, screaming, etc.

ETA: just share articles with the friend about cuddly bird problems.

 

[Shezbug]

None of my birds are cuddly with me and I am so pleased I never encouraged it with Burt who is having some horrible scary behaviour right now due to hormone changes, I can only imagine how much worse he would be if I had encouraged an inappropriate relationship with him. The cuddliest he will ever be is laying his head on me for a few seconds and I would not ever allow or want any more than that.

Not one of my past birds has ever been cuddly with anyone but most of them would allow and enjoy head rubs and other healthy interactions such as allowing you to move them or cage them or shower them and play with toys.

 

[taxidermynerd]

Chirp, my budgie, very rarely sought me out. We would chatter back and forth, but physical closeness was rare and so very valuable.

Jade is much more hands on, she loves to climb all over me and she loves a little scritch session or to cozy up into my neck, but she also probably spends an equal amount of out-of-cage time causing chaos elsewhere on her own.

 

[Pixiebeak]

Ok. I feel i need to put some in here for the other team . But I'm not trying to kick the hornets nest!

I have allo preener species. Ive had my first green cheek for 17 years and my current girl for over ten. I give luv and head scratch, beak rubs, preen head and neck and kiss the sides of their faces daily multiple times daily. Ive never had hormonal issues in either of my girls. My first gcc was a solo burd for her first ten years of life. She would step up to anyone I asked. But only let a few trusted others pet her , but happy to sit on shoulder. She never laid eggs her first ten years. She did lay eggs right after I brought Ta-dah home and they intensely bonded. But never again in her remaining 7 years with us. Ta-dah has never laid eggs or acted hormonal. While the two girls were best buds it didn't effect their relationship with me at all.
Infact there were no changes during the seasons at all. Just me? Just luck?

When my first gcc passed I added a male quaker. Ta-dah and he became extremely bonded . I was still able to bond wjth my new guy snd it didn't affect my relationship with Ta-dah at all. They both received a lot of preening from me and kisses and snuggles . No back wing or belly touches. My male would go to high places and vocals in spring . But that was it, still friendly no aggression.

My current quaker girls have a split bond with Pikachu. Pikachu and Penny have been with me 5 years . They also hollor more in spring and prefer to do so from high places. No hormonal aggression or eggs. No regurgitating to me. Receive a lot of hands on luv and preening from me.

When I first brought Phoebe home , before she bonded with Pikachu and before I could touch her from her hand phobia she laid an egg. So I think some females just will. The next year she didn't lay an egg and was now letting me cuddle her and was bonded to Pikachu now. At 2 years she laid one egg again. We will see if she does this spring. She also has increased vocals in spring. But no aggression.

My one budgie Cloudy will hang out on me and near me. Sometimes I can stroke his face or chest .

I don't think I have a pair bond with any, I feel we are a bonded flock. They love spending time with me, we probably have an hours worth of preening sessions daily. They also spend hours doing their own thing. All will step up to guests and hang out with them. They choose who else can scratch their heads they all let a few do so. I let them choose.

I guess I'm the odd one out. But all seems to be working for us.

 

[Pixiebeak]

I think whst also helps, is that all are flighted and being smaller get lots of wing flaps in and exercise. Encouraged by having several stations spread out around the home. Lots of foraging. Healthy diet heavy on veggies. Lots of climbing stuff , toys and chew stuff. Out of cage 8hrs a day. Free choice bath stations. Each other.

Ive always read from behavior people like Pamela Clark, a board burd with pent up energy focuses on hormones. She recommended more mental stimulation and exercise, lower fat diets to help hormonal issues.

Some individuals and species do have a harder time seasonally. And deffinatly nest material and spaces and inappropriate touching are triggers

 

[flyzipper]

I don't see different teams in this thread, but perhaps there is an over-sized focus on the risks of inappropriate bonds.

I preen my birds, and spend time holding them while perched on my hand, do recall and other training, play with them and their toys, they're well socialized, etc, etc.

It's good to recognize that the risk of inappropriate binding is a risk, but also good to recognize it's not a guarantee.

 

[Shannan]

I think that those people that are aware of the risks, can mitigate those risks like Pixiebeak, who makes sure all her birds get plenty of exercise and that the cuddles are both appropriate in depth as well as time. Experienced owners can tell when what they are doing is crossing the line for their individual bird. I also agree that youngsters ought to be encouraged if they show an interest (I got my first bird at age 17). That being said, I think it is important to educate any potential bird owners and as such I agree that she should experience a wide variety of birds and species as well as continue to learn so that she has realistic expectations of what bird ownership is all about and understand that a "cuddly" bird is far different than a cuddly dog. She has already shown interest as well as some sound thinking,

 

[tka]

One of my birds would love to be cuddly. Leia would love to spend all her time on my shoulder, fluffed up, dozing and beak grinding gently in my ear. Unfortunately, it made her a hormonal monster with a predilection for destroying her feathers and not a lot of fondness for my wife. After consulting with Pamela Clark a year ago, I basically went cold turkey on shoulder time, snuggles and so on. Unfortunately it is easy to tip Leia into trying to form a pair-bond with me so I'm very cautious about how much physical touch I offer her.

I do think that physical contact has its place in cementing friendly flock relationships; it's just difficult to know exactly how much is appropriate because we seem to know so little about how wild parrots interact. It's entirely possible that different species have different levels of what they'd interpret as friendly allopreening before it tips into being seen as pairbond preening. We know that many Asiatic parrots don't appreciate friendly headscratches and see contact as very sexual, but what if that's true for other species too? Maybe some species are more tolerant of friendly touch than others.

I think an interest in parrots should be encouraged as long as the person in question is able to appreciate parrots for what they are: intelligent, social beings who are not that many generations separated from the wild and who aren't used to our weird mammal behaviour. Fundamentally, parrots and humans use touch and physical contact to communicate different things. As social mammals, we are incredibly tactile: we're not so far away from troops of monkeys or apes who spend hours grooming each other to cement friendships. And even then, we still misinterpret touch: I bet many of us have been confused about whether someone is flirting or not because they kept stroking our arm or leaned into us.

We bond most closely with animals who have a similar understanding of physical touch. Dogs, for example, practically evolved alongside us: indeed, we created certain dog breeds for the sole purpose of being affectionate, cuddly companions. My parents' cavalier spaniels were basically bred to be sweet-natured, affectionate lapdogs: they shove their heads into our hands and happily pile into one single dog bed and curl up on humans' laps. Having appropriate expectations is so important: I can see a lot of unhappiness ahead if the person expects a parrot to be a cuddly snugglebug and for this to not cause problems when the bird reaches sexual maturity. If they want hours spent cuddling together, they'd be much happier with a mammal who expresses friendly affection in a way that humans understand.

 

[Pixiebeak]

I have lap puppies as well.

Each parrot is such and individual even within species.

And hormonal seasons can vary in intensity in any seasons or ages. My burds are all adults at 20 yplus, 10y, 6 y, 3y, and budgies over 6y but unknown.

If any issues arise, I would deffinatly change and adapt

 

[tka]

I should add that wanting snuggles isn't inherently bad: it's just not appropriate to ask this from our parrots. If my wife and I ever manage to move to a bigger place with a garden (in London lolololol) then we'd love to adopt a pair of bunnies to get some companions who are more likely (but certainly not definitely) to accept strokes and cuddles.

Leia and Kira will continue to be encouraged to be active, playing, foraging parrots, and hopefully Leia will one day come to accept that no one wants to see her cloaca.

 

[~Drini~]

My GCC is cuddly. He loves headscratches and snuggling against my neck/cheek. My gold-capped conure is not so snuggly.

I will add that my two conures are not pair-bonded, but they participate in whole-body allopreening. They will preen butts, tails, backs, underwings. They do the parrot version of 69ing when they simultaneously preen each other's butts/tails. It makes me wonder about the whole "preening anywhere besides the head is seen as strictly sexual" rule.