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I need help

Kiwi :)

Checking out the neighborhood
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10/11/21
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3
Hi! I recently just got myself a 3 month old white eyed conure, i saw him on Facebook and he looks fine but is terrified of hand an example of this is that whenever i put my hand near him he runs away when I try to touch him he either runs or tries to bite me is there anyway to get rid of his fear?
 

Wardy

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Firstly stop touching him and stop moving your hand towards him he is nervous so you need to take a step back and allow him to settle this could take a while spend some time with the bird not to close to him but where he can see you and allow him to become acustomed to you, read a book with him listen to music with him interact with him from a distance.
Talk to him and reasure him but dont put him under any pressure you need to gain his trust slowly spend time moving closer to his cage when you are talking to him but go slowly.
the only time you should be going near him when he is like this is to clean his cage and feed him with time he will begin to trust you the less preasure you put him under the better it will be in the long run. When you are able to get close to his cage do some target training with him in the cage offering rewards when he is doing well.

You see a lot of threads where people get a bird and it is stepping up straight away and they are super friendly but this is not always the case i have had a conure for 9 weeks wont go anywhere near my hand she is comfortable with me comes out of her cage and i can target her back to her cage but she doesnt want to go near me or my hand even though she see's my other conure stepping up and climbing all over me.

it could take some time but well worth being patient as this will pay off in long term
 

Tazlima

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I want you to imagine a scenario.

Let's say one day you were plucked from your home and dropped in an enclosure with a tiger. The tiger is far stronger and faster than you. It could kill you without even trying. So what do you do? You keep your distance. You watch it to make sure it's not coming closer. You sleep with one eye open.

Now for the question. If that tiger was actually kind and gentle and wanted to be your friend... how could it convey that to you? It can't exactly walk up and start rubbing on you. If it tried, you would run away, and if you were cornered, you'd probably attack it to make it back off. If it grabbed you and forced you to hold still while it licked your face? You'd be sure you were going to die, and even if it let you go afterward, you wouldn't know if it was testing the waters to perhaps kill you next time.

The best thing that tiger could do would be to ostensibly ignore you. No staring or any obvious attention in your direction. If you seemed frightened or angry, it would move away... every single time. It would, in effect, let you have full control of your interactions. If you learned you could simply say "shoo" and it would immediately walk away, well... that's a lot less scary, isn't it? And maybe you'd test it a dozen times... was it REALLY that easy to make the tiger leave? It wasn't just a coincidence? Did it work even when the tiger was clearly interested in you? And eventually, if saying "shoo" worked every single time, you might even work up the nerve to pet the tiger, secure in the knowledge that you could send it away with a word.

The way to earn trust is to be trustworthy. Watch his body language for any sign of nerves. In order, these are usually 1) a suspicious stare, 2) leaning away, 3) moving away.

Learn to recognize that suspicious stare. (He'll have his head turned to focus one eye on you). Feathers slicked down. Tense and unmoving. That's your signal to back off and leave him alone. If he's moving away, you've already pushed too far.

Let HIM control your interactions. If you're unsure about whether something means he's afraid or comfortable... move away. If he was afraid, he'll be relieved. If he wasn't afraid and actually wanted something else, he'll work out a clearer/different signal for next time, or may even move toward you of his own accord. Look for his version of "shoo" and OBEY EVERY TIME, even if it's inconvenient. Sometimes you'll have no choice but to press on (to clean the cage or change the food, to provide medical treatment), but remember that every push = a step backward in your relationship. Ask yourself if the thing you're trying to do is worth torching all your prior efforts, and act accordingly.

There's no way to predict how long it will take him to learn to trust you. That's entirely up to him. But if you give him control of the situation by letting him dictate whether you come closer, making sure he never feels cornered, and listening when he tells you, even very slightly, to back off... eventually he'll come around.
 

Peachfaced

The Peachy Inkpress
JOLLY-PATROLLY
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I want you to imagine a scenario.

Let's say one day you were plucked from your home and dropped in an enclosure with a tiger. The tiger is far stronger and faster than you. It could kill you without even trying. So what do you do? You keep your distance. You watch it to make sure it's not coming closer. You sleep with one eye open.

Now for the question. If that tiger was actually kind and gentle and wanted to be your friend... how could it convey that to you? It can't exactly walk up and start rubbing on you. If it tried, you would run away, and if you were cornered, you'd probably attack it to make it back off. If it grabbed you and forced you to hold still while it licked your face? You'd be sure you were going to die, and even if it let you go afterward, you wouldn't know if it was testing the waters to perhaps kill you next time.

The best thing that tiger could do would be to ostensibly ignore you. No staring or any obvious attention in your direction. If you seemed frightened or angry, it would move away... every single time. It would, in effect, let you have full control of your interactions. If you learned you could simply say "shoo" and it would immediately walk away, well... that's a lot less scary, isn't it? And maybe you'd test it a dozen times... was it REALLY that easy to make the tiger leave? It wasn't just a coincidence? Did it work even when the tiger was clearly interested in you? And eventually, if saying "shoo" worked every single time, you might even work up the nerve to pet the tiger, secure in the knowledge that you could send it away with a word.

The way to earn trust is to be trustworthy. Watch his body language for any sign of nerves. In order, these are usually 1) a suspicious stare, 2) leaning away, 3) moving away.

Learn to recognize that suspicious stare. (He'll have his head turned to focus one eye on you). Feathers slicked down. Tense and unmoving. That's your signal to back off and leave him alone. If he's moving away, you've already pushed too far.

Let HIM control your interactions. If you're unsure about whether something means he's afraid or comfortable... move away. If he was afraid, he'll be relieved. If he wasn't afraid and actually wanted something else, he'll work out a clearer/different signal for next time, or may even move toward you of his own accord. Look for his version of "shoo" and OBEY EVERY TIME, even if it's inconvenient. Sometimes you'll have no choice but to press on (to clean the cage or change the food, to provide medical treatment), but remember that every push = a step backward in your relationship. Ask yourself if the thing you're trying to do is worth torching all your prior efforts, and act accordingly.

There's no way to predict how long it will take him to learn to trust you. That's entirely up to him. But if you give him control of the situation by letting him dictate whether you come closer, making sure he never feels cornered, and listening when he tells you, even very slightly, to back off... eventually he'll come around.
I may have to copy this for when folks ask me about bonding with their new bird. That was beautifully written!
 

MR. Mango

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I agree 100% with @Tazlima, you could also try to offer treats if he seems foid motivated but let him set his own boundaries and determine what happens
 

camelotshadow

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Go slow. Bonds with bird take time & can't be rushed. They are not transferrable & need to be slowly earned in a non threatening manner. They need to first learn that they are safe. They will need to get used to a new home & a new person. Make sure the cage is in a spot where they don't get alot of traffic. Sometimes covering a side or two gives them a safe place to retreat to. Tend to their needs & offer treats. Talk softly. Don't overwhelm them too soon.
A safe pattern needs to be built first. Time to a bird is not the same as it is for us. It could take weeks or months.
Progress is made in small steps as if you leap too far & too fast you will just set things back.
 

Farlie

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WOW!!! Some of the best advice I've ever heard. :)
Just go slow. Let the bird come to you...
 
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