eli12345
Meeting neighbors
- Joined
- 6/7/24
- Messages
- 59
I dont know where to reach out for my birds and i just want to let it out somewhere since its heavy on me and i need to remouve that wieght. Im presentely in a suicide prevention/mentalhealth support establishement for a couple days. Im exausted with daily life and will get aditional help. My monthly therapist told me its best i give my birds to take care of myself and that i can have other birds another time in my life.and the parrot rescue hasnt responded its been 2-3 weeks. I dont want to give matcha i love her so much.
i love them. I love when matcha cuddle me desperately in my neck and hair and shoulder and when she purrs. She stays often on me. She is so adorable when she tries to flight train, she is not loud and does adorable sounds. She bites so hard and i assume its because of me anoying her and my other errors. But sometimes i do nothings thats not even valid for getting bit. Im too exasuted to endure this or do the detective .shell chase me on the floor or attack my face. Im to tired to give her medication. Its expensive and its draining. She sings and dances when i beatbox i love her so much.she will never be replasable.
Proushka screams so much i have hearring damage. I cant understand what people say well even less than befaure and my ears are sensitive to noises people can usualy endure hurt mine.and im tired and stressed while putting hearing protection. hes smart and is very stuburn its often so much. Hes sometimes calm and listens and i apreaciate these moments but i dont know what to do. He listens more to Me and is adorable Taking baths and tries often to sing. I hear him purr often and i do see some progress with stepping up and training and including himself when i cook in the morning!but hes is so territorial witch is tirering and repetitive.
Theire so small and adorable and helpess im scared for them i care for them but its a cycle. I keep imagining my life releived without them but then cry imagining matcha gone without her cuddles and proushka in bad care.im releived and happy when they are in bed! Thats not normal! I should be happy when they are awake and present!
I wanted a peacfull life with them.im ealredy frequently a tornado in my head and i ealredy have many of things in my daily like i must do(day school, study french,work,personallife). So when im home, for them its action time while i want to rest or do something to make me happy. I can do my calm hobbies at home with matcha on me. But proushka gets bored and nests and screams and i have to keep cheking on them and intertain them When i want to relax and rest.thats the things. I was happier and taking care of myself physically and mentaly last year. But it costed me neglecting them at some parts. And now im trying to be more present and invested for them. Its rewarding it is! But its tirering and sometimes stressfull.Even that i made many errors and i feel horrible, i think i offered them a good life. After a mistake, id correct myself and give space and try to do better. But again, a cycle.And more effort Especialy at first and now.i think they know i love them Matcha purrs alot when she is on my and falls asleep on me . Proushka purs frequently too. In the shower or when i let a window open or when theire outside or simply enjoying foods.ive started to get the hang of taking care of parrots. But its so much,making sure they are intertained, well fed, cleaning, not damaging, screaming, out of cage. All that care, i wish i could give it to me. Because of this i feel hate and i feel bad about it.i dont i hate them, i think i just hate the fact its been negativily impacting my mental health partially and my hearing.
Im trying to be realistic.i cant balance carring for myself well, thrive to be happy well, be at peace while working, studying, doing activities without being worried if i letted them out the cage enough.too take care of myself, i leave the house to go at a coffee shop, librairy or outside since my household is partialy impacting me.And sometimes its passive.but its often chaos.i dont know ether were my life will go. Look at know conpared to when i had them.i love them especially matcha but its so exhausting.also, hormone season, i wont be able to endure that again matcha bites three times more, they destroy and scream and barely listen so i have to use force or a towel to remouve them from places or keep them in the cage longer. I still take them out and tried and im
Proud i at least try/tried to make them happy even during summer. But its SO much.
My family impacts me and them.my mom will complain and put them in my room. A room where its the only place i can try to focus on myself. A room where my craft and art are, and that my birds destroyed 2 times. They is screaming(humans) , even though if it progressed, is not the cleanest .my brother harrassed and still pick on my birds.im stressed out. Those poor babies cant have a good 10 hours sleep. The tv is loud and theirs loud noises till freakin late. I,myself have a bad sleep schedual and its hard to make sure they sleep well and keep my pacience.their night cage is in my room and they make some noise so sometimes i just make them sleep in their big cage.like i sayd, i often leave the house to help myself mentaly. So presently, im trying to stay at home for them and intertain and give love to them.And im happy when they are asleep so i can leave to concentrate on myself.
My dad takes care of them right now while im away.Hes pretty much the only one who love them too. Proushka hangs around him often and he sings to them. Hes is curently feeding them and letting them out.he seems to want to keep them but its so much.he even sended me
Texts and photos of them and he bought them millet saying they miss me.
I dont trust the spca that i went too. Its so sudent i though it was to talk and plan not drop em Off like a courrier! i asked “ can they have a window?will they be let out? Can they have showers?veggies” the receptionist seemed not very sympathic and like it was nothing. Their not nothing! Their my birds who deserve a good home! I even asked if i could be their foster home and she sayd they cant. What?! Theirs another spca that anwsered. Im not sure ether. And ive posted on facebook hoping a home would like to adopt them.
Im aware that im concentrating on the wrongs ive done. I could’ve not brought them to vets, outside,showers,singing,a big cage, a friend,train them a bit. And i did. I did the minimum for them and im proud im releived i gave what some birds saddly dont have. But i dont think ill be able to keep up and im scared they will lose their happiness with me or at a new home.
I dont know if ill regret giving them. But its been months im Exausted . I ether neglect them and i can take care of Myself or i they’re my Priority and im Overwelmed. I love them so Much. I wont find any other parrot like them.i dont know what to do. I just want this cycle to be over. I cried my lungs out 2 times yesterday and im exausted. I love them i dont know what to do.
im curently calmer now since im away. But ive wrote how i felt at home.
i love them. I love when matcha cuddle me desperately in my neck and hair and shoulder and when she purrs. She stays often on me. She is so adorable when she tries to flight train, she is not loud and does adorable sounds. She bites so hard and i assume its because of me anoying her and my other errors. But sometimes i do nothings thats not even valid for getting bit. Im too exasuted to endure this or do the detective .shell chase me on the floor or attack my face. Im to tired to give her medication. Its expensive and its draining. She sings and dances when i beatbox i love her so much.she will never be replasable.
Proushka screams so much i have hearring damage. I cant understand what people say well even less than befaure and my ears are sensitive to noises people can usualy endure hurt mine.and im tired and stressed while putting hearing protection. hes smart and is very stuburn its often so much. Hes sometimes calm and listens and i apreaciate these moments but i dont know what to do. He listens more to Me and is adorable Taking baths and tries often to sing. I hear him purr often and i do see some progress with stepping up and training and including himself when i cook in the morning!but hes is so territorial witch is tirering and repetitive.
Theire so small and adorable and helpess im scared for them i care for them but its a cycle. I keep imagining my life releived without them but then cry imagining matcha gone without her cuddles and proushka in bad care.im releived and happy when they are in bed! Thats not normal! I should be happy when they are awake and present!
I wanted a peacfull life with them.im ealredy frequently a tornado in my head and i ealredy have many of things in my daily like i must do(day school, study french,work,personallife). So when im home, for them its action time while i want to rest or do something to make me happy. I can do my calm hobbies at home with matcha on me. But proushka gets bored and nests and screams and i have to keep cheking on them and intertain them When i want to relax and rest.thats the things. I was happier and taking care of myself physically and mentaly last year. But it costed me neglecting them at some parts. And now im trying to be more present and invested for them. Its rewarding it is! But its tirering and sometimes stressfull.Even that i made many errors and i feel horrible, i think i offered them a good life. After a mistake, id correct myself and give space and try to do better. But again, a cycle.And more effort Especialy at first and now.i think they know i love them Matcha purrs alot when she is on my and falls asleep on me . Proushka purs frequently too. In the shower or when i let a window open or when theire outside or simply enjoying foods.ive started to get the hang of taking care of parrots. But its so much,making sure they are intertained, well fed, cleaning, not damaging, screaming, out of cage. All that care, i wish i could give it to me. Because of this i feel hate and i feel bad about it.i dont i hate them, i think i just hate the fact its been negativily impacting my mental health partially and my hearing.
Im trying to be realistic.i cant balance carring for myself well, thrive to be happy well, be at peace while working, studying, doing activities without being worried if i letted them out the cage enough.too take care of myself, i leave the house to go at a coffee shop, librairy or outside since my household is partialy impacting me.And sometimes its passive.but its often chaos.i dont know ether were my life will go. Look at know conpared to when i had them.i love them especially matcha but its so exhausting.also, hormone season, i wont be able to endure that again matcha bites three times more, they destroy and scream and barely listen so i have to use force or a towel to remouve them from places or keep them in the cage longer. I still take them out and tried and im
Proud i at least try/tried to make them happy even during summer. But its SO much.
My family impacts me and them.my mom will complain and put them in my room. A room where its the only place i can try to focus on myself. A room where my craft and art are, and that my birds destroyed 2 times. They is screaming(humans) , even though if it progressed, is not the cleanest .my brother harrassed and still pick on my birds.im stressed out. Those poor babies cant have a good 10 hours sleep. The tv is loud and theirs loud noises till freakin late. I,myself have a bad sleep schedual and its hard to make sure they sleep well and keep my pacience.their night cage is in my room and they make some noise so sometimes i just make them sleep in their big cage.like i sayd, i often leave the house to help myself mentaly. So presently, im trying to stay at home for them and intertain and give love to them.And im happy when they are asleep so i can leave to concentrate on myself.
My dad takes care of them right now while im away.Hes pretty much the only one who love them too. Proushka hangs around him often and he sings to them. Hes is curently feeding them and letting them out.he seems to want to keep them but its so much.he even sended me
Texts and photos of them and he bought them millet saying they miss me.
I dont trust the spca that i went too. Its so sudent i though it was to talk and plan not drop em Off like a courrier! i asked “ can they have a window?will they be let out? Can they have showers?veggies” the receptionist seemed not very sympathic and like it was nothing. Their not nothing! Their my birds who deserve a good home! I even asked if i could be their foster home and she sayd they cant. What?! Theirs another spca that anwsered. Im not sure ether. And ive posted on facebook hoping a home would like to adopt them.
Im aware that im concentrating on the wrongs ive done. I could’ve not brought them to vets, outside,showers,singing,a big cage, a friend,train them a bit. And i did. I did the minimum for them and im proud im releived i gave what some birds saddly dont have. But i dont think ill be able to keep up and im scared they will lose their happiness with me or at a new home.
I dont know if ill regret giving them. But its been months im Exausted . I ether neglect them and i can take care of Myself or i they’re my Priority and im Overwelmed. I love them so Much. I wont find any other parrot like them.i dont know what to do. I just want this cycle to be over. I cried my lungs out 2 times yesterday and im exausted. I love them i dont know what to do.
im curently calmer now since im away. But ive wrote how i felt at home.
