I broke my lovebirds trust... :(

[X.rei]

Yesterday I let my lovebirds out in my room to train and just hangout with them (they still dont trust me that much) like I always do, but heres the thing, the male always follows the female, and the female just didnt feel like getting in the cage. (this was 6 pm btw)
I tried what i always do, put millet in the cage, usually it would take them around 10 seconds to get back in once i place the millet. I know lovebirds are well known for being stubborn but this was my first time actually seeing it, 2 hours pass, I left the room to get some more millet and the male just flew out the door, (this was really a first) he flew all around the house, crashed maybe once? but nothing serious. I didnt think much of it, untill he stood on a fan... not 1 second passed and i had to "smack" him (without hitting him just sorta scaring him, because heck its a fan and he can get his tiny little feet chopped off). After that I tried to get him to step up onto a stick to get him back in the room, he knows how to step up and is really food motivated.

I ended up around the whole house trying to get him to step up, he simply wouldn't do it. Somehow some way my sister managed to get him on the stick and back in the room it took me an hour just to get him in my room. Its 9:30 ish, they are not fluffy, they're terrified I waited about 30 minutes for them to cool down and they simply didn't, I tried to get them in with the stick, didnt work, lovebird sounds inside the cage, didnt work, nothing i did worked, so here's my mistake, I grabbed them.

It wasnt easy, basically had to chase them around the room at one point they let me pet them. they entered their cage finally at 11:00 PM...

Today, i woke up, removed the blanket from their cage, the femaly flew away when she saw me, and the male "unfluffed". I dont know what to do. I messed up I know but the country I live in just had a heatwave and i had to open the window at night (thats why i was trying to get them back in the cage).

uhm... help?

Another quick thing, earlier that day i saw the female put her foot on the male's face, and bit him... I am so confused.

 

[Dartman]

Give them time, they calm down eventually and get over it. Try not to make them do anything they aren't ok with and let them do things at their own pace and give them treats and praise and eventually they'll realize good things come from you and your a friend who is worth their trust and love.
Some come around right away, some take a long time and you have to earn everything you get.

 

[X.rei]

Give them time, they calm down eventually and get over it. Try not to make them do anything they aren't ok with and let them do things at their own pace and give them treats and praise and eventually they'll realize good things come from you and your a friend who is worth their trust and love.
Some come around right away, some take a long time and you have to earn everything you get.

Okay thank you, i will do that

but i do have a massive question, why did my female put her foot in the male's neck??? i've never seen any bird do that, plus about 5 minutes ago she was chasing him around the perch biting him, like with her beak wide open chasing him, Should i do something? or let them be

 

[Dartman]

They might not be getting along well, keep a close eye on her and make sure she's not attacking and beating him up. You might have to separate them so they don't hurt each other if she's being that aggressive with him.

 

[Yen]

I had a similar experience. We had to grab our female lovebird when she panicked and ran onto the road. In her frenzied attempts to get away, she even broke a feather and we brought her to the vet to stop the bleeding. It did take a while to regain her trust. Each time we walked by her cage, we would talk to her and feed her treats. We also taught both her and our male lovebird tricks to gain her trust. Now she loves us as much as before. So don’t worry, it’s not a lost cause. Just be patient with them.

My female lovebird used to bully my male lovebird too, including pinning him down. I would say to monitor her violence level. They got along a lot better after I added another food bowl so that they can each eat when they want and no longer see the other as a competitor. I think it also helps to keep them busy with toys and play. She’s happily accepted him now though. All the best!