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Has she forgotten me in 3 days?

Roku

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After receiving Precious (4.5 month old greenwing macaw), I spent a week with her, and I thought we had bonded well. She would not stay on her perch very long and would invariably fly to me. Step up, recall, cuddling, lying her on her back, etc were all no problem. I tried to get her to bond with my GF as well, and that also went well, though she still preferred me over the gf.

Then I had to leave for 3 days. When I returned, it was like I was a total stranger. Step up and recall were just as hard as it was on the first day we got her from the trainer. Cuddling is out of the question. She might let me give her a scratch on the head, but sometimes she will bite (not too hard but enough to let you know to back off). She never did that before. She won't leave her perch to come to me. Even when she's on the floor, she won't step up but backs away from me as if she was afraid.

It really does feel like she's forgotten me in such a short span of time. Granted this is my first day back, and in my absence, my GF had no problem cuddling with her. But now Precious doesn't even seem to want to go to her either. Does this sound like just a bad mood day for her? (Which her trainer did say she has from time to time) or has she forgotten me or maybe is angry that I left?

Other behavioral changes include not being as motivated as before to do tricks like recall for formula and also, raising one wing while raising her leg backwards (kind of looks like she wants to poo, but that's not her normal poo sign and she doesn't go when she does it).

Rather discouraging when I was looking forward to returning to her for some cuddle time.
 

cosmolove

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As birds go through maturity it isn't uncommon for them to change how they act especially about cuddling and such. After only a week its really hard to say she would be bonded to you for you, usually bonds take longer than that. Now I doubt she forgot about you within a couple days tho, birds are very smart! :)

Give it time, she will probably come back around
 

tka

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That's a lot of disruption for a baby, and she's probably feeling rather anxious about losing people she was used to, beginning to form a relationship with you, you leaving, you reappearing... That's a lot of big changes for a baby parrot to take in and she's probably feeling very unsettled and nervous. A week is no time at all in bird time. Friendships between parrots and humans are developed over months and years, not days. You do not achieve a friendship with a parrot in a week, just as you don't become best friends with a human in a week. It takes time to develop trust.

My advice is to go back to the start. Don't ask her to do tricks or make demands of her. Just be present, and offer security and stability. Show her that you can be relied upon, that you make a good flock member, and that you are a provider of food and love without her having to offer anything in return. And do your best not to bring any further disruption into her life until she feels more secure in your household.
 

Roku

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Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, I need to leave my house every 10 days or so for 3 days at a time. But my GF and helper feed and train her every day (with me when I'm there) so I thought perhaps she would be ok considering 2 out of her 3 caretakers are still there. I guess it doesn't work that way.
 
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Tangoares

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After we had our cockatiel for a month and a half , he would have been 3 & half months old at that point, we went for a trip for a week, and the night we got back he was very excited to see us. But the next day he was pissed right off lol, nipped aswell. It's such a heartbreaking experience for them :( (though he was being cared for by my bfs mom who he had a bond with already)

We've been gone only for the weekend a few times since then and every time he is angry with us for a day or 2.
I've left on my own for 5 days once while my boyfriend stayed home and when I came back our cockatiel was very happy to see me and never had his angry day with me lol.
I'd say every bird will be slightly different so I guess you'll just have to see, I'm sure your bird will be more attached as time goes by :)
 
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Tiel Feathers

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Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, I need to leave my house every 10 days or so for 3 days at a time. But my GF and helper feed and train her every day (with me when I'm there) so I thought perhaps she would be ok considering 2 out of her 3 caretakers are still there. I guess it doesn't work that way.
As time goes on your bird will probably get used to your schedule and become less upset when you come back. I would think that she will come to understand that your absences are short.
 

Roku

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Last night she let me hold her and pet her, but training is definitely off. Today she'll tolerate some petting but then slides on over to the other end of the perch after a few moments. At least I was able to shower her and put a harness on her. Definitely more beaky tho. It's funny because before, I had trouble keeping her on her perch and away from me when I was busy. Now I miss how she always flew over to me, hahaha.

Shower and harness time:

PSX_20200811_135652.jpg PSX_20200811_135945.jpg
 

tka

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I think in time she'll come to understand that you come back. I go to a couple of conferences a year and my partner and I were in a transatlantic relationship; the first time I left Leia she sulked when I came back. Now she's just happy to see me.

I would hold off on training etc until she's happier to see you. With headscratches, offer her as much as she wants but don't continue if she moves away. At the moment you just have to be a provider of good things to get back into her good graces. She's a beautiful baby!
 

cosmolove

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In time she'll get use to the schedule. As they get older they will change how they act. There's a lot going on right now and it'll take time to settle into a new home and new routine.
 

Elysian

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It might also help her psychologically if you set up a specific routine/cue so that she knows you are going to be gone for three days and come back.

It'll still take her time to get used to it, but this way when you do the routine she will KNOW you didn't just "disappear" or leave her, you are going on your usual trip and will be back like usual. Birds are very routine oriented.

This could be a literal visual cue, like .. I don't know.. hanging one of your shirts near her cage where she can see it. Hang it up before you leave and take it off when you get back. She will come to learn that when you hang the shirt you are leaving, but as long as it is there you WILL be back.
It could also just be a ritual routine like a specific game/treat/goodbye routine that you do.. you can even verbally prep her ahead of time. "I have to go on my trip next week", "I have to go on my trip soon", "I have to go on my trip tomorrow", "I'm going on my trip now!" .. then "I'm back from my trip!"

As long as you do the same thing every time she will learn that this is normal and you will be back.
 

Tiel Feathers

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It might also help her psychologically if you set up a specific routine/cue so that she knows you are going to be gone for three days and come back.

It'll still take her time to get used to it, but this way when you do the routine she will KNOW you didn't just "disappear" or leave her, you are going on your usual trip and will be back like usual. Birds are very routine oriented.

This could be a literal visual cue, like .. I don't know.. hanging one of your shirts near her cage where she can see it. Hang it up before you leave and take it off when you get back. She will come to learn that when you hang the shirt you are leaving, but as long as it is there you WILL be back.
It could also just be a ritual routine like a specific game/treat/goodbye routine that you do.. you can even verbally prep her ahead of time. "I have to go on my trip next week", "I have to go on my trip soon", "I have to go on my trip tomorrow", "I'm going on my trip now!" .. then "I'm back from my trip!"

As long as you do the same thing every time she will learn that this is normal and you will be back.
Excellent idea. I inadvertently do this with my birds when I go on vacation. As soon as they see the big garbage bin I put out for the pet sitter, they know I’m leaving, but also know who is coming to stay with them and that I will be back.
 
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