This is a bit of a long post; sorry in advance!
I've had my green-cheeked conure (oh so creatively named Bird -- there's a story behind that) since he was a few months old. We've always had a really strong bond. I lived with my mom and had a friend who practically lived with us as well, and Bird loved them, but he was an absolute mama's girl and we were closest. He never bit me hard -- only little nips if he was playing or unhappy about something. He never screamed. He used me like a jungle gym, cuddled with me, danced with me, sang with me, fell asleep on me, made all kinds of happy bird noises when we were together, etcetera.
A few years ago my mom died. Immediately after our landlord sold the house, so I had to move, and I know that can be jarring to a parrot. I began to date someone, another jarring thing, and a year later I had to move again (we now live with my boyfriend, and have for over three years). I was nineteen when my mom passed and had been fairly sheltered, so things were chaotic until I got the hang of taking care of myself. Yet another jarring situation, as Bird had been on a strict schedule before (which he much preferred to having no schedule at all).
That's all changed. He's back on a schedule, his life (and my life) is steady, I've been able to buy him new toys to play with, treats, and the nicer food he loved to eat before I was on a really tight budget. He's still getting used to having a schedule, though it seems to be helping him (he definitely isn't a huge fan of the times he's in his cage - the cage is enormous, I wanted to make sure he had lots of room when I got him - but he's also much happier then he used to be even when he's in there; there's less yelling, no more feather chewing, all that).
The only thing is that now he seems to hate me. He and my boyfriend have never been particularly close, but suddenly my boyfriend is the sole person he wants to be with. Ever. My boyfriend doesn't get to spend much time with him in general, as he's busier than I am, but when Bird is with me he screams, bites, misbehaves, and refuses to be on me for more than two minutes. If Bird knows my boyfriend is home and in a different room he screams and squats at the door until my boyfriend comes in to pay attention to him. If my boyfriend is in the room with us Bird climbs on him, preens him, cuddles him, makes his happy noises, and is entirely content. When I try to hold him at this time, he bites me and makes his way back to my boyfriend.
Bird has also been regurgitating excessively and trying to mate with us. We thought it may have been one of the smaller cages he's in occasionally (it had lots of chewed up newspaper at the bottom and was dark, which we learned were things that can trigger hormones in parrots), so we no longer use it. We gently discourage/distract him when he displays mating behavior (we were told that rejecting him outright can damage his relationship with us), but it has continued well beyond mating season.
I'm confused, worried, and honestly pretty hurt. I'm afraid that he's sick, and/or the last few years have irreparably ruined the love he had for me. Just... does anybody have any advice? Any information? Have I permanently destroyed what we had, and would it be better for him mentally/emotionally to be with my boyfriend instead of me? I just want Bird to be happy, even if it means I have to keep my distance from him so he can spend time with the person he likes.
I've had my green-cheeked conure (oh so creatively named Bird -- there's a story behind that) since he was a few months old. We've always had a really strong bond. I lived with my mom and had a friend who practically lived with us as well, and Bird loved them, but he was an absolute mama's girl and we were closest. He never bit me hard -- only little nips if he was playing or unhappy about something. He never screamed. He used me like a jungle gym, cuddled with me, danced with me, sang with me, fell asleep on me, made all kinds of happy bird noises when we were together, etcetera.
A few years ago my mom died. Immediately after our landlord sold the house, so I had to move, and I know that can be jarring to a parrot. I began to date someone, another jarring thing, and a year later I had to move again (we now live with my boyfriend, and have for over three years). I was nineteen when my mom passed and had been fairly sheltered, so things were chaotic until I got the hang of taking care of myself. Yet another jarring situation, as Bird had been on a strict schedule before (which he much preferred to having no schedule at all).
That's all changed. He's back on a schedule, his life (and my life) is steady, I've been able to buy him new toys to play with, treats, and the nicer food he loved to eat before I was on a really tight budget. He's still getting used to having a schedule, though it seems to be helping him (he definitely isn't a huge fan of the times he's in his cage - the cage is enormous, I wanted to make sure he had lots of room when I got him - but he's also much happier then he used to be even when he's in there; there's less yelling, no more feather chewing, all that).
The only thing is that now he seems to hate me. He and my boyfriend have never been particularly close, but suddenly my boyfriend is the sole person he wants to be with. Ever. My boyfriend doesn't get to spend much time with him in general, as he's busier than I am, but when Bird is with me he screams, bites, misbehaves, and refuses to be on me for more than two minutes. If Bird knows my boyfriend is home and in a different room he screams and squats at the door until my boyfriend comes in to pay attention to him. If my boyfriend is in the room with us Bird climbs on him, preens him, cuddles him, makes his happy noises, and is entirely content. When I try to hold him at this time, he bites me and makes his way back to my boyfriend.
Bird has also been regurgitating excessively and trying to mate with us. We thought it may have been one of the smaller cages he's in occasionally (it had lots of chewed up newspaper at the bottom and was dark, which we learned were things that can trigger hormones in parrots), so we no longer use it. We gently discourage/distract him when he displays mating behavior (we were told that rejecting him outright can damage his relationship with us), but it has continued well beyond mating season.
I'm confused, worried, and honestly pretty hurt. I'm afraid that he's sick, and/or the last few years have irreparably ruined the love he had for me. Just... does anybody have any advice? Any information? Have I permanently destroyed what we had, and would it be better for him mentally/emotionally to be with my boyfriend instead of me? I just want Bird to be happy, even if it means I have to keep my distance from him so he can spend time with the person he likes.
Lol. When your bf is with your birb, don't try to force him to come to you. Also , tell your bf not to give him his favorite treats , let him save that for your bonding time 