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Feel disheartened

Bex90

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Rebecca
feel really disheartened. We’ve had our hand reared baby 2 weeks now. She’s been amazing. She steps up, cuddles in my hair, really found her wings as of today. I’ve taught her target training ready for trick training. I’ve spent my whole time with her yet she’s flown to my husband on her own accord.
She’s my bird and I want to be her person yet it seems by fella is without trying. Is there anything I can do to rectify this?
 

Hermesbird

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Some times not. Unfortunately they choose who they choose.
And in some times they change who they want. At 6-7 months old my girl chose my fiancé over me for a while but when he went back to work she started showing favor for me. Even to the point of flying and attacking him. It was cute for a moment but we started working on that and that stoped also.
Just keep being a good momma and she will see that also spend time and possibly only you give her the favorite treat.
 

Zara

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Is there anything I can do
Carry on spending time with your bird. Don´t be disheartened. Feed treats, carry on with the training. It would be nice if your bird like the both of you, wouldn´t it?
My eldest lovebird Sydney is quite close to me, but he does wait for my partner when he´s not home by sitting on the back of his chair, will fly to him to greet him, and seems to love him. I like that our bird enjoys both of our company.
I think sharing interactions with your bird is far better than your bird constantly biting and attacking your husband.
 

flyzipper

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Is there anything I can do to rectify this?
I would suggest reframing your definition of the, "problem".

You can rectify the issue immediately be changing your expectations, by realizing they're yours (therefore the "problem" is you, so entirely within your control).

I say this with the kindest of intentions in order to convey that our birds are autonomous individuals and are under no obligation to meet our expectations -- for the situation you described, or any you'll encounter in the future. Recognize that our featured friends are happiest and most well adjusted when they have options, and their choices are respected.
 

Dartman

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Dobby is mine, but once he realized my sister looks like Momazon, his person before me, and she cooks food and does cool stuff he chose her. He doesn't hate me, will step up when asked and likes me to provide walnuts and security. The sun rises and sets with her for him though, so like was said they choose who they choose and go by their own rules.
 

javi

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Dont be disheartened. One thing you can go to encourage the baby to prefer you is the way he gets rewarded when landing on either of you. So if he prefers a certain snack or scritches as his reward make that your reward and a less valuable your partner's reward. This may not work but worth a try. Tho a bird that will go to both of you is ideal.
 

Hobgoblin

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Our 7 month old conure seems to waffle week to week with who he prefers. As much as sometimes I wish he was a little more mom focused, I try to remember that just like all animals it’s really in his best interest to be easily handled by lots of people. Focus on congratulating yourself on raising a nice social bird!
 

Mizzely

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Sometimes in our excitement, I think we also maybe come on a little strongly! My Quaker was mine, and I did everything for him. My husband ignored him, and yet Jingo chose him. :crycry:

Jingo wanted nothing to do with me. It felt like the harder I tried the more he backed off.

So I gave up. I still had to do all of the bird duties because he was my responsibility, but I stopped trying to be the awesome person.

And he came back around.

He needed me on his terms, not mine. And every single bird since I have used that knowledge to make amazing friends. I let them call the shots and allow them to make the decisions whenever possible.
 

Aksarben

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There was a saying from Olivander of Harry Potter that "Remember Harry, the wand chooses the Wizard." So it might be with Parrots. This article is a good read, and pay attention to "One-Person Bird" in the article. Hope you have a wonderful day with your little one. Oh yea... link :
 

Yuki Shiro

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What the others say seems true, but still I feel your pain; your reality.
I really hope you can adapt and feel into the changed situation.
I hope that all will be good. Best wishes.
 

Parrotl3t

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I would suggest reframing your definition of the, "problem".

You can rectify the issue immediately be changing your expectations, by realizing they're yours (therefore the "problem" is you, so entirely within your control).

I say this with the kindest of intentions in order to convey that our birds are autonomous individuals and are under no obligation to meet our expectations -- for the situation you described, or any you'll encounter in the future. Recognize that our featured friends are happiest and most well adjusted when they have options, and their choices are respected.
Very well said. Even I have to remind myself of that.
 

Parrotl3t

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They will choose the person ‘they’ want as their favorite.

I have ended up with 2 parrotlets because they did not ‘prefer’ their previous owners. One would literally attack & draw blood anytime his previous owner tried to do anything with him. I’ve never seen a parrotlet attack so fast with intent to hurt. But he would come to me & enjoyed head rubs …. No bites. Previous owner ended up giving him to me because he knew he was unhappy living with him. He’s not a bad bird - he just chose who he chose which broke my friend’s heart.

Kinda the same story with my 2nd parrotlet - he would ‘allow’ his owner to hold him but did not like her trying to rub him. Well, she tried & tried to win his affection. I met him & he instantly cuddled up in the bend of my arm & snuggled in for a nap. A few weeks went by with no real progress so she gave up & I ended up with my 2nd parrotlet.

My point is, they choose who they want. Don’t give up. Their bond is on their terms which can take a while - give it time to develop. It’s not instant. My 2nd parrotlet’s owner, in my opinion, gave up too soon & did not try to gain his trust on his terms - she wanted it on ‘her’ terms.
(Note: these are not my 1st parrotlets - I had one previously that I had to rehome due to months of chemo
 

Gribouille

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I am the only adult at home, so I am the mommy to everyone and there was never a confusion about that. Yet, as my oldest son is becoming more mature I see Pichu becoming more interested in spending time with him and their relationship is improving. My youngest is still "a kid" so Pichu seems to feel he is not as interesting. He can go and spend some time in his room but that's probably because he is the first home in the afternoon.
I think it's cute to see my big boy having so much fun with Pichu, and now that we are back from a long vacation, Pichu is frustrated with me, but he would jump on my son's shoulder and spend some time there, which I think is good. He goes and gets what he needs when he needs it. Can't ask for more.
 

Shannan

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One thing you might also consider is that your bird is a baby and so right now, you are the MOM but that will change as the bird first pulls away to become independent (think teenagers) and then returns to you with an adult relationship. Perhaps your husband becomes the Parent and you become the cool teenage friend. So don't give up hope. Also your relationship will change over the years. I have had Walter for 40 years and we have definitely changed.
 
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