• Welcome to Avian Avenue! To view our forum with less advertisments please register with us.
    Memberships are free and it will just take a moment. Click here

Do you have a bird that hates you? How do you deal?

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
Goose, the Kakariki, abhors my very existence.

I now cannot even enter the room without him having a freak out. Same with everyone in my household. He’s just miserable here.

I’m reaching out to a few people who have an aviary, or at the very least are experienced in dealing with fully hands-off birds - this is out of my wheelhouse, and knowing that a bird can stress itself to death, I’m so worried about him giving himself a heart attack. I would rather he go to someone with a large aviary where he can fly away from people as needed, without the confines of a cage, than be here and in a constant state of anxiety.

In the meantime, what can I do to limit the amount of stress for him?
 

scrape

Rollerblading along the road
Celebirdy of the Month
Joined
5/4/19
Messages
2,504
Well, I'll tell you right now he doesn't hate you. He is scared of you. That is completely different from hate.

You need to start the process of desensitization. I would recommend a cover on most of the cage to help him feel safer. Give him big toys to hide behind, like a seagrass mat. Play some calming music, or chatter of his, or other, species.

Dying from stress is not common in birds, particularly not in birds that aren't elderly.
 

Mizzely

Lil Monsters Bird Toys
Super Moderator
Vendor
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
8/9/11
Messages
39,966
Location
Northern Mitten Michigan
Real Name
Shawna [she/her]
Yes.

People will tell you birds can't hate and maybe they can't. However, my quaker, who I raised from 3 months old, started to "hate" me. We got to a common ground after a lot of work and had something akin to peace for a bit. But then he started to scream 8-12 hours a day, and then after years of dealing with that, he started to attack me. I would be in the kitchen through two doorways and he would fly off his cage to peck at my head and face. One day I was huddled under my dining room table trying to evade him while my kid was screaming in the next room, terrified.

He lives with my mother in law now. And he can't be out when I am around because he will still attack me on sight. I have no idea what I did to that bird to elicit such a response.
 

flyzipper

Rollerblading along the road
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
9/28/20
Messages
2,591
Location
Canada
Real Name
Steve
How long has Goose been with you and what do you know about his background?
Where is his room? Is it isolated so that your arrival would be a surprise, or is it central so he can watch and become accustomed to your movements and approach?
What is your response when he freaks out? Withdrawing to a distance where his body language calms will demonstrate that you understand what he's communicating to you.
 

Shezbug

ASK ME FOR PICTURES OF MY MACAW!
Super Moderator
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
4/28/18
Messages
25,823
Location
Vic, Australia
Real Name
Shez
Birdie certainly is not my biggest fan in the bird world but we make it work so he gets what he needs and I do not get bitten even though he tries multiple times daily lol.

I do not believe I am hated by him but it is very very clear he would rather I was not his main human contact, I am sure he still misses the person who had him for 13-14 years and would rather be with him.
We have found a common trust and respect for each other and I now just view his attempts to get me as a way to keep my mind on the task at hand and it means I can also easily encourage more movement and interaction which brings out more personality every day- we have worked up to a short session of neck or head rubs being tolerated each day and as long as I do not stuff about too long I can check his preening gland (previously had a blockage) without too much hassle. I have learned to safely do his nail filing while he is happily hanging on the cage as he can't grab me through the wire, he will let me do it without the wire in between then give no warning and bite so it is best to do it from the other side and not encourage the poor interaction lol

If you can work with your bird and learn to understand him it may help you both to move forward.
I have taught my son how to stop Squeak freaking out when he approaches the cage and my son was able to teach his friend who recently visited, it was their direct determined approach which was freaking Squeak out- it honestly is very helpful to be able to show them that you are listening and willing to learn them.
 

Mizzely

Lil Monsters Bird Toys
Super Moderator
Vendor
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Avenue Concierge
Joined
8/9/11
Messages
39,966
Location
Northern Mitten Michigan
Real Name
Shawna [she/her]
I would like to add on to my previous post because I feel that I have done you and your bird a disservice.

Yes, I had a bad situation that I tried to work through for 7+ years and it ended up that rehoming was the best option for us.

However, there is a huge gap between being afraid of you and seeking you out to attack you, and inbetween there are several shades of beautiful harmony.

I took on a Hahns who was afraid of everything and helped her work through her fears and she was my best bird friend ever. I couldn't touch her with my hands, but we had a wonderful relationship that I was lucky to experience.

I had an untame, fully hands off quaker that was not interested in being my friend, but he was happy to be part of the flock, and as long as he had yummy food and toys to chew, he was willing to share space with me.

Having a bird companion rarely looks like it does on Instagram. They are not pets as much as they are roommates; we have to learn their boundaries and likes and dislikes, just as they try to learn ours, and all while speaking different languages. It is about finding common ground on which you are both happy, about helping them to be healthy and confident while tempering our own wishes.

I do not know how long you have had this bird, but do not give up because they are fearful right now. There are so many ways to earn their trust, and in my experience, the first step is to stop trying so hard. However, if you do not feel that you are up to the challenge, there is wisdom in that too.
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
Well, I'll tell you right now he doesn't hate you. He is scared of you. That is completely different from hate.

You need to start the process of desensitization. I would recommend a cover on most of the cage to help him feel safer. Give him big toys to hide behind, like a seagrass mat. Play some calming music, or chatter of his, or other, species.

Dying from stress is not common in birds, particularly not in birds that aren't elderly.
He does have a cover on the back half of the cage down around to the lower quarter where I have clipped it together. Think of a cage wearing a Snuggie basically. He does have large toys but he does not seem to hide behind them at all, and I usually have a radio on if I’m not around and talking to him.
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
Yes.

People will tell you birds can't hate and maybe they can't. However, my quaker, who I raised from 3 months old, started to "hate" me. We got to a common ground after a lot of work and had something akin to peace for a bit. But then he started to scream 8-12 hours a day, and then after years of dealing with that, he started to attack me. I would be in the kitchen through two doorways and he would fly off his cage to peck at my head and face. One day I was huddled under my dining room table trying to evade him while my kid was screaming in the next room, terrified.

He lives with my mother in law now. And he can't be out when I am around because he will still attack me on sight. I have no idea what I did to that bird to elicit such a response.
That actually sounds a little bit terrifying. With this one, I’ve had him for a little over two weeks now, And he seems to go on the offense every time he can even hear me talking.

Edit - apparently more time has past than I thought, it’s been a little over 3 weeks now.
 
Last edited:

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
How long has Goose been with you and what do you know about his background?
Where is his room? Is it isolated so that your arrival would be a surprise, or is it central so he can watch and become accustomed to your movements and approach?
What is your response when he freaks out? Withdrawing to a distance where his body language calms will demonstrate that you understand what he's communicating to you.
I’ve had them for a few weeks now, I know as far as his background goes that he was mostly ignored and so doesn’t have a whole lot of human interaction beyond being fed and watered. His room is in an open area where he can see and hear people talking regularly to make sure that he’s not snuck up on. When I enter the room as opposed to just walk past it, he immediately starts screaming and flops around his cage with a great deal of force. If I get close enough to the cage he starts trying to reach through with feet and beak in order to grab invite. I initially thought he was reaching through with his feet in a motion to get me to come closer to be able to interact, but I was definitely wrong. It is specifically to bite. When I see him get overly worked up like that, I will back off, or at least try to, until he calms down again.
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
I would like to add on to my previous post because I feel that I have done you and your bird a disservice.

Yes, I had a bad situation that I tried to work through for 7+ years and it ended up that rehoming was the best option for us.

However, there is a huge gap between being afraid of you and seeking you out to attack you, and inbetween there are several shades of beautiful harmony.

I took on a Hahns who was afraid of everything and helped her work through her fears and she was my best bird friend ever. I couldn't touch her with my hands, but we had a wonderful relationship that I was lucky to experience.

I had an untame, fully hands off quaker that was not interested in being my friend, but he was happy to be part of the flock, and as long as he had yummy food and toys to chew, he was willing to share space with me.

Having a bird companion rarely looks like it does on Instagram. They are not pets as much as they are roommates; we have to learn their boundaries and likes and dislikes, just as they try to learn ours, and all while speaking different languages. It is about finding common ground on which you are both happy, about helping them to be healthy and confident while tempering our own wishes.

I do not know how long you have had this bird, but do not give up because they are fearful right now. There are so many ways to earn their trust, and in my experience, the first step is to stop trying so hard. However, if you do not feel that you are up to the challenge, there is wisdom in that too.
I really think that if given the opportunity he probably would seek me out to attack me. It’s gotten to a point where before I could reach in and change out food and water and he would just be at the opposite end of the cage to get as much distance between us as he could, but now it is at a point where if I am coming anywhere near the cage he is trying to Reach through and grab me to bite. And if I do manage to get my hand inside the cage he is in full attack mode. I’ve opened up the door and left him alone to try and see if he will come out on his own, and he will come about half way out but if he can hear me talking from another room then he will stand at the door of the cage and scream. I’ve learned that when he does that, if I look in on him he immediately jumps back into the cage and becomes super defensive of his place it seems.

I’m just afraid he’s going to hurt himself, the way he goes into freak out mode every time I walk into the room.
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
This is an old one, but I got an update on Goose (renamed Booger)!

I had spoken with my vet about his behavior, and the level of stress he seemed to constantly be under. My vet reached out to a contact of hers who had a large indoor/outdoor aviary, and had a few other Kakarikis as well. We met up, and Goose/Booger went to her.

I received a message this morning that Booger is doing wonderfully. He’s settled in with his new flock, and even found himself a mate. He’s still VERY aggressive apparently - I guess it’s just a human thing, but it’s good to know it wasn’t just me he hated :roflmao: She said that every time she goes into the kakarikis section of the aviary, she has to wear a large hat with a net over her face, because he will go straight into attack mode. Even though the rest are chill about her presence, he’s never picked up on their relaxation.

I’m glad he’s doing well, and while it sucks he’s as mean as he is, I’m glad she took him as she has the space to be better equipped to handle it.
 

April

Joyriding the Neighborhood
Avenue Veteran
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
3/21/10
Messages
23,893
Oh that's a wonderful update! So glad to hear he has a mate and room to fly.
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
Me too! It sucks that he’s still such a psycho though.
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
As mean as Burt was, I never had to worry about him flying to attack me - he was just crazy cage defensive. Away from the cage he was (mostly) fine. But from what she said, Booger isn’t cage defensive - he goes on the offense as soon as anyone gets near him, which was what I was experiencing as well with him.
 

Emma&pico

Biking along the boulevard
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
1/9/22
Messages
6,844
Location
Uk
Real Name
Emma
Such a lovely updated glad he’s settled although I never knew you had kakariki there’s one in pet shop near me and him/her seems so sweet :heart:
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
Such a lovely updated glad he’s settled although I never knew you had kakariki there’s one in pet shop near me and him/her seems so sweet :heart:
Yeah, I don’t think he came from a really good situation. He was in a Guinea pig cage, everything smelled like smoke, and he went from being mildly fearful but happy to talk to me, to insane within just about a week. He was pretty much the exact opposite of everything I had ever read about the species.
 

Kiwi's Dad

Rollerblading along the road
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
12/21/21
Messages
2,380
Location
Florida
Real Name
Sebastian
You have a kakariki!?
I'm glad he's settled in:)
 

Xoetix

Biking along the boulevard
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
6/12/22
Messages
6,623
Location
Southern VA, US
Real Name
Meghan (she/her)
You have a kakariki!?
I'm glad he's settled in:)
No, I don’t anymore. I couldn’t offer him the best options given his intense fear/aggression. He’s at the aviary of a friend of my vet.
 

Kiwi's Dad

Rollerblading along the road
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
12/21/21
Messages
2,380
Location
Florida
Real Name
Sebastian
No, I don’t anymore. I couldn’t offer him the best options given his intense fear/aggression. He’s at the aviary of a friend of my vet.
I'm sorry to hear :(

At least he's with a vet!
 

Emma&pico

Biking along the boulevard
Celebirdy of the Month
Mayor of the Avenue
Avenue Spotlight Award
Joined
1/9/22
Messages
6,844
Location
Uk
Real Name
Emma
Yeah, I don’t think he came from a really good situation. He was in a Guinea pig cage, everything smelled like smoke, and he went from being mildly fearful but happy to talk to me, to insane within just about a week. He was pretty much the exact opposite of everything I had ever read about the species.
They are supper prone to being from stress and overheating I’ve read so it’s best he’s in a least stressful situation

not that your stressful but he was obviously stressed at yours
 
Top