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Desperately looking for help!

Pat_Rick

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Patrick
Hello quaker-friends!

I've a complicated situation with our 2 year young quaker female Marley. Basically she is extremely attached to me and I feel like she chose me as her "mate". Marley is super tame, learned a lot of tricks (waving, spinning, target training, even peekaboo ect) and overall she's super cute, curious and friendly.
However, everytime i leave the house and Marley is alone with my girlfriend, she screams non stop until I'm back.

I even can't go anywhere in the house without Marley looking for me, following me, or screaming for me.

Marley is completely fine with my girlfriend, there is no jealousy or anything like that which results to biting etc.

However, her screaming when I leave the house is not manageable and will definitely lead to problems with the neighbours, but also completely stresses out my girlfriend. She tried everything, from playing with her, to interacting with her, which sometimes calms Marley down for a few minutes - until she starts screaming again. The screaming immediately stops when i come home, so it definitely must be me not being there.

Does anyone know how to work on this? We don't want to give Marley away, but it will be our last option if we can't fix this.

Her food is extremely balanced and she loves the mix we do for her, so this shouldn't be the issue.

I personally believe that she's sexually frustrated, especially because she is extremely sensitive, and since i think that she chose me as her mate, this is why she screams like that when I'm not there - but can this be fixed? Is there any hope for us?

Im extremely thankful for any kind of help because we're getting really desperate and ultimately we don't want to give Marley away. Thanks in advance for any help given to us! :birdance::bighug:


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Kassiani

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Your little Marley is beautiful :)

I understand that they can be very one-person birds, so I'm glad that she gets along with your girlfriend!

It will probably take some time to break her of her screaming habit. What sort of toys does she have? Does your girlfriend take her out of the cage when you are not at home? How many hours of undisturbed dark sleep time does she get each night?
 

Mizzely

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Pat_Rick

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Patrick
Your little Marley is beautiful :)

I understand that they can be very one-person birds, so I'm glad that she gets along with your girlfriend!

It will probably take some time to break her of her screaming habit. What sort of toys does she have? Does your girlfriend take her out of the cage when you are not at home? How many hours of undisturbed dark sleep time does she get each night?
Thank you :) We are really lucky considering how tame and cuddly she is. The screaming when I leave is the only major issue we have with her.

In terms of toys she has a bunch of wooden hanging toys she loves to nibble on, but shes totally crazy after any kind of zipper. As soon as we bring out a backpack or jacket, she starts going crazy by making the zipper noise and jumping on it and moving her head up and down, its almost like she's possessed :D We try to avoid any kind of plastic toy because she's really into destroying things, so we dont want her to possibly eat any kind of plastic (which she already did when we left remote controls etc unattended).

She also loves to nibble on strings, but most of the time she's hanging with us or just sits around and observes what's happening. When music is on, she quickly starts singing, she even has a favourite song.

As for sleep, Marley usually goes to bed around 5pm and she sleeps until around 6-7pm on the next day, so quite long, and we always cover her cage to prevent any light distraction. Funnily she always goes in the cage by herself, like she knows when its bed time.

Does this (possibly) attached/sexually frustrated behaviour eventually go away when she gets older/sexual mature? If yes, is there any known age when this tends to stop?

Thanks again, here's a video of her laughing along to a funny video (careful, its quite loud in the beginning) :)
Marley laughing
 

Pat_Rick

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Patrick
Does your girlfriend take her out of the cage when you are not at home?
Sorry I forgot to mention that she is out of her cage almost all day long, because we both work from home. So Marley screams even when shes outside, theres no difference unfortunately
 

tjc

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I may be wrong, but it doesn’t sound like sexual frustration to me. This is flock calling. You’re her main flock, and she must know where you’re at. Where is her cage located in your house? Marley (cutename) is screaming for you to come back. By inadvertently coming back in the room, you’re giving her what she wants. Perhaps you could move her to a different room temporarily. That way she hears you and knows you are near. Then go to her with a small treat and lovingly tell her, it’s ok, I’ll be back. After 10 minutes go back and reassure her you’re coming back. This can be a lengthy training process, but Marli should eventually trust you are coming back. Quakers need to stay busy also. The like to build and weave. Mine likes to weave wooden skewers in and around the bars. When he’s busy with that, he forgets all about me. Lay skewers or straws around in the cage.
 

Pat_Rick

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Patrick
I may be wrong, but it doesn’t sound like sexual frustration to me. This is flock calling. You’re her main flock, and she must know where you’re at. Where is her cage located in your house? Marley (cutename) is screaming for you to come back. By inadvertently coming back in the room, you’re giving her what she wants. Perhaps you could move her to a different room temporarily. That way she hears you and knows you are near. Then go to her with a small treat and lovingly tell her, it’s ok, I’ll be back. After 10 minutes go back and reassure her you’re coming back. This can be a lengthy training process, but Marli should eventually trust you are coming back. Quakers need to stay busy also. The like to build and weave. Mine likes to weave wooden skewers in and around the bars. When he’s busy with that, he forgets all about me. Lay skewers or straws around in the cage.
Thanks so much for this advice, it totally makes sense!
Her cage is located in our open space living room, from where she can see everything on the 1st floor - living room, kitchen, hallway, bedroom doors etc.
Marley is definitely very attached to me, its almost like shes addicted to being around us/me and gets cuddles, so we need to start teaching her that its also okay to be by herself and with her toys. I will start putting her cage in a separate bedroom and bring a treat every 10-20 minutes when she doesn't scream, hopefully it will change her behaviour.
Thanks again, I'll update soon about her progress :) :quaker::birdance:
 

JLcribber

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I personally believe that she's sexually frustrated, especially because she is extremely sensitive, and since i think that she chose me as her mate, this is why she screams like that when I'm not there - but can this be fixed? Is there any hope for us?
Lots of hope.

She's not sexually frustrated but a little spoiled. You "spoiled" her with the constant attention. What's done is done. How do you unspoil? You need to let the bird learn for itself that the screaming sin't going to work. In other words it will get worse before it gets better and extinguishes. That's if you do not inadvertently reinforce it.

Give this a read and see if you recognize yourself in there.

Screaming 101
 

Pat_Rick

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Patrick
Hi all, I just wanted to send a quick update, especially to you, tjc!
After only a few days of training Marley to be by herself in a separate room, she now is a lot more calm and less attached - it's insane! She learns many things so fast, I've never seen that with any other parrot before. It took her less than a day to learn how to wave or to do peekaboo properly. Today I left the house for the first time for a few hours and left Marley alone with my girlfriend - and she was completely fine, calm and nice.
I'm so happy I reached out here and got your advice, its's life changing after all. I'll keep on training Marley to be alone and by herself, this is only the beginning! :birdance: :excited2::dance4:

Thanks again all and have a fantastic week! :grouphug2:
 
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