Can someone explain this behavior???

[X.rei]

I have 2 lovebirds a male and a female, and ever since we got them their behavior has been strange.
They seem to fight over everything ALL THE TIME, the female attacks the male and fights happen, the behavior I don't understand is that, the female bites the male, the male either runs away or fights back, and when he loses (because he always does, he's very gentle when biting) he starts flapping his wings, sort of towards me, starts screaming like crazy, and suddenly becomes afraid of me (and eventually the female screams too). So I did the logical thing to do, buy a separate cage and put the male there. Their cages are right next to each other and ever since I separated them they yell ALL DAY and try to get close to each other, they sort of stick to the wall to be close to each other. so I thought "maybe it wasn't a good idea to separate them" I put them back together what happens?, they fight over everything once more, I even put more food/water plates.
My male lovebird will go to a food bowl, then the female will bite him, so he goes to another food bowl, and gets chased by the female...
I am a first time lovebird owner and I am genuinely struggling trying to understand them.

When I try to train the male, he wont do it if the female doesn't do it as well so I try to train the female and she is simply not interested at all, just doesn't care. And so i try to make the male less dependent of her by separating them during training, but he freaks out, he feels unsafe without her, wont listen, wont eat, wont do anything without her, but when they ARE together, he doesn't look happy either, he is always on the perch below her. Heck I even discovered blood on his paw and a bite mark I just don't know what to do, they costed me a lot of money so I don't wanna give them away or anything but NOTHING I do seems to work. HELP

 

[Mizzely]

How big are the cages?

@Zara hopefully can offer some insight.

 

[X.rei]

How big are the cages?

they are theese https://www.amazon.com/Prevue-Products-Wrought-3154BLK-Hammertone/dp/B000OP9M5U/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=bird+cage&sr=8-2&th=1
not that big, but for a lovebird i'd say they're fine

 

[Mizzely]

Which size is it? The 36x24? That's a good size for a lovebird. If it's a smaller size, then while it might be good for one lovebird, maybe a larger cage for 2 birds is needed? I am not sure. If they are injuring each other though and competing for food then either a larger shared space or being separated would be by hunch.

Do they fight while out of the cage?

 

[X.rei]

Which size is it? The 36x24? That's a good size for a lovebird. If it's a smaller size, then while it might be good for one lovebird, maybe a larger cage for 2 birds is needed? I am not sure. If they are injuring each other though and competing for food then either a larger shared space or being separated would be by hunch.

Do they fight while out of the cage?

Yes, it is 36x24, and yes they still fight outside the cage, I recently made them a playground (not that big but does the job) and I specifically put 2 of each toy, perch, rope perch, and the same thing happens, the female chases the male and bites his feet, then the male screams and starts to fear me

 

[X.rei]

pls help

 

[X.rei]

Which size is it? The 36x24? That's a good size for a lovebird. If it's a smaller size, then while it might be good for one lovebird, maybe a larger cage for 2 birds is needed? I am not sure. If they are injuring each other though and competing for food then either a larger shared space or being separated would be by hunch.

Do they fight while out of the cage?

Its feels like every time they fight they hate ME more and more, they're next to me right now, yelling, and flapping their wings while maintaining direct eye contact with me, for some reason the male hates me more every time he gets bit by the female, its so frustrating I don't know what to do anymore, they genuinely hate me I don't know if I want them anymore.
My right ear is dying cause of their screaming

 

[Shezbug]

I’d personally be more concerned about potential serious injury than I would be about screaming.
If there’s constant fighting, blood from arguments, stress from not being totally compatible etc then I think they really need to be separated. They’ve been known to seriously injure and even kill other birds who they’re caged with but not bonded to.
How long was the separation between them before?

 

[X.rei]

I’d personally be more concerned about potential serious injury than I would be about screaming.
If there’s constant fighting, blood from arguments, stress from not being totally compatible etc then I think they really need to be separated. They’ve been known to seriously injure and even kill other birds who they’re caged with but not bonded to.
How long was the separation between them before?

The separation was for about 2 weeks, non stop at least 3/4 of the day they were yelling and clinging to the cage walls trying to get close to each other.
Today they were fighting all morning, so I let one out and not the other, and I sort of saw some progress? the male wasn't yelling (at least not until the female downstairs called him, about 20 minutes later), but the concerning part was that, once I brought the cage up with the female inside, to get him back in (I have to do this since they're still untamed) he stood on top of the cage, and the female just started clinging to the roof of the cage, biting his feet, chasing him once more, heck he did not want to go back in the cage, he was determined not to go back with her, and when he did he stayed unfluffed, and on the opposite side of the cage as her.
I'm just so confused because they call out for each other when they're across the house, but when they are next to each other all the female does is bite him.
Should i give them away? I'm not sure i want them at this point.
Another thing i should add is that the female bites for blood, she bites me and I actually bleed, and as I said before I found a bite mark with blood on the males foot

 

[Zara]

Separate the birds for their own safety.

In our homes lovebirds should be caged alone or with a bonded partner only. But if we think of them in the wild, they usually live near other lovebirds and will call back and forth, even to birds they're not bonded to. So it's not strange to think they would call for each other.
Sit the cages side by side, but with a good 10cm space between, and put perches in each cage lined up so they can "sit together". See how it goes. (make the perches a "continuous line", not two parallel perches)

You can try allowing separate flight time, but must keep the birds off the others cage when out, either take them to a different room, or lay a towel over the top of the cage and observe to be sure they don't cling to the side of the cage.

Spend time feeding each of them millet, through the cage bars, and also when they're out.

Another thing i should add is that the female bites for blood, she bites me and I actually bleed,

That's normal for a lovebird hen to bite so hard. You will have to learn her cues and when she want's you to back off, to give her space to avoid any bites. They are usually very visably upset before a bite, some signs are, feathers will raise, their bodies will puff up bigger, they make a hissing noise, stand still open beaked (usually before charging). If you spot any of those things, be sure to give her space.
I have two hens that can be really bitey, one is tame but putting my hand in her cage is a huge no no, I have to call her out to me, the other is not tame and so I never put my hand in her cage near her (when I want to clean I either let her out, or fill the food bowl to keep her over there), she does not like hands, and will bite if I don't pay attention to her cues, yet I haven't been bit in a long time by her.

 

[X.rei]

Separate the birds for their own safety.

In our homes lovebirds should be caged alone or with a bonded partner only. But if we think of them in the wild, they usually live near other lovebirds and will call back and forth, even to birds they're not bonded to. So it's not strange to think they would call for each other.
Sit the cages side by side, but with a good 10cm space between, and put perches in each cage lined up so they can "sit together". See how it goes. (make the perches a "continuous line", not two parallel perches)

You can try allowing separate flight time, but must keep the birds off the others cage when out, either take them to a different room, or lay a towel over the top of the cage and observe to be sure they don't cling to the side of the cage.

Spend time feeding each of them millet, through the cage bars, and also when they're out.



That's normal for a lovebird hen to bite so hard. You will have to learn her cues and when she want's you to back off, to give her space to avoid any bites. They are usually very visably upset before a bite, some signs are, feathers will raise, their bodies will puff up bigger, they make a hissing noise, stand still open beaked (usually before charging). If you spot any of those things, be sure to give her space.
I have two hens that can be really bitey, one is tame but putting my hand in her cage is a huge no no, I have to call her out to me, the other is not tame and so I never put my hand in her cage near her (when I want to clean I either let her out, or fill the food bowl to keep her over there), she does not like hands, and will bite if I don't pay attention to her cues, yet I haven't been bit in a long time by her.

Thank you so much for all your advice

 

[WillowQ]

A possibily dumb idea: what about having two cages next to each other so if they want they can sit together (separated by bars) and if either wants to be away they can get away?

It does leave potential for fights, still.

 

[Zara]

A possibily dumb idea: what about having two cages next to each other so if they want they can sit together (separated by bars)

Not a dumb idea.

Sit the cages side by side, but with a good 10cm space between, and put perches in each cage lined up so they can "sit together". See how it goes. (make the perches a "continuous line", not two parallel perches)

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It does leave potential for fights, still

That is what the gap between cages is for. With a gap, they will find it extremely difficult to grab each others feathers or wings. Lovebirds have short tails so they don't stick too far out of the cage.

 

[WillowQ]

I didn’t know lovebird hens were supposed to be the worst biters. I’ve had two lovebird hens who were very sweet and not biters at all!