Can anyone tell me (bird loss)

[FLmom]

When were you able to look at any of your birds pictures and videos again?

We were on vacation and lost him the day after we returned. It’s been 11 days and my family has been fondly reminiscing over his photos. I can’t bring myself to look at our vacation photos or Kai pictures. I miss him so much. I miss his sounds and mimicking all the household noises. I want to hear it but i fall apart at the thought of it. I can’t bare the thought of it. But at the same time I’m wondering why I am so scared to look at them? Maybe it would be healing?

Has anyone else taken a very long time to feel ok about looking at pictures and videos of their rainbow birdies? Should I make myself look and feel how I feel and maybe it would be healing? I want to hear his sounds but I have a lump well up in my throat at the thought of it.

The family is saying as they are looking back at the pictures that they see some signs that maybe he wasn’t well a few months ago. I can’t bring myself to look. I feel like I was very attentive to his changes and moods and can’t believe I would not have noticed the changes. But I just can’t look right now.

 

[alshgs]

Look when you're ready. When I lost Rio, my beloved Crimson Bellied Conure over 10 years ago, I was devastated. I had him cremated and my vet did the little feet prints and had his name on the box. I got cards from my vet and their staff and I wouldn't look at his pictures for months. I waited until I was ready.

 

[Mizzely]

Your path to grief is your own. There is no right or wrong. Anyone who tries to tell you different is not being respectful. 11 days is a very short amount of time and I wouldn't rush to do something you aren't ready for.

 

[Emma&pico]

When we lost pico on Boxing Day it was horrible me and my daughter couldn’t do in bird room without crying I would fetch remi downstairs to play as I couldn’t sit in there for a good week
I didn’t watch videos or photo of him for ages a good few months he burried under tree in my garden and a flower grown where he is same blue as him this month flowers came out on my birthday been here 3years nearly and ones never grown made me cry when it flowered but hubby made it worse without me saying anything he said oh look pico sent you a flower I know it’s probably coincidence well the logical part of me does but makes me feel better thinking it’s from him

Grief is individual everyone deals with things differently at different times you have to do you don’t force yourself to do anything you don’t feel ready for they are a massive part of your lives daily lives which is massively affected when they go they have there own personalities what we miss so much

some people get another bird to help others don’t some people take cage toys down straight away some leave them up it’s all down to you look at the photos videos when your ready don’t be pushed into anything

 

[Emma&pico]

I am so sorry for your loss

 

[April]

It took me months to be able to look at Nala's pics without crying and for I think about 3 months I'd cry myself to sleep more often than not. The right time is whenever your ready,you shouldn't force yourself in my opinion as that could make it even more traumatic and upsetting. When your heart is ready to look again you'll know

 

[cnyguy]

Grief doesn't operate on a timetable and it's not the same for everyone. For me it's been different after each of the three parrots I've lost. When George the YCA passed away I had to take down his cage and remove all his pictures. It was a long time before I could look at a picture of any yellow crowned Amazon without feeling a profound sadness. My brother has several video clips of George and after more than 15 years I still can't look at them.

When Scooter the CAG passed away her cage had to be removed from view too. I can't stand the sight of an empty cage. I took down her pictures too, but it wasn't long before I was ready to put them back up, along with George's pictures.

When QP Ralph passed away last fall, the cage had to go the same day. But for some reason I didn't feel right about removing his pictures. It made me sad to look at them but they had to stay. It still pulls at my heart to see Ralph's pictures but I wouldn't want to be without them.

I will always miss all three parrots. Sometimes memories of them make me feel good, other times the sadness comes back in waves. They will always be in my heart and my thoughts. I have a new parrot now, and I am happy to have him, but he can't replace the ones I've lost.

 

[FLmom]

Hard part for me is he has 2 cages here. One upstairs and one downstairs. They sit empty just as he left them. I haven’t even been able to empty his last bowl of breakfast I gave him. It’s heart wrenching looking at his things just the way he left them. The half chewed wood peices. The net he was climbing on and had the. Best time playing his silly little tricks on. All the wood chip peices at the bottom of his cage.
The worst part is when I am ready to take all this down I have nowhere to put it. There is no spare bedroom. No storage closet that they will fit in. I’d have to rent a storage until just to get it all put away somewhere.

 

[conurehrdr]

It depends on the bird. Some I can look at, though it's taken me years to be able to do it. Others.... I see the picture and it aches horribly. Especially ones of birds I've known as chicks.

 

[Clueless]

It's been years and I still can't look at my pictures or videos of MC.

I have pictures on here and have occasionally looked at then when I've posted a link to an old thread.

His cage is in my basement and I can't bear to part with it.

If he had been my only parrot, I doubt that I would ever have another. As it is, Secret has her forever home and tolerates the humans that live here.

 

[sunnysmom]

As everyone said, there's no set path or timeline. I can still cry over Sunny years later. But, more often than not now, I look at pictures of him and smile. It took a while though. A long while. But I like having mementos of him around the house now to remind me of him.

 

[SchwuggieLove]

I lost my baby last week, and I thought it would take me a while to look at his pictures, and especially videos. Turns out I've been staring at and watching/listening to them almost non-stop.

Seeing his cute little face and hearing his beautiful song and seeing him get cozy with me was always a bright spot for me. No matter how bad things were, he could make me feel better with his songs and his love. Now his voice is still helping to comfort me, even after he's gone, and even though him being gone is what I need comfort for.

I've been playing videos of him singing on a loop and it helps me feel closer to him. I printed multiple pictures of him and have put them everywhere, plus changed my phone background, etc.

I miss him horribly and my heart hurts so much, but I still feel him here with me, and being able to see/hear him helps with that.

 

[Miss Annamarie]

Its been 4 months and I cry at the mere thought of Fish, I still can't look at pictures or anything without crying and breaking down. River and Maple, it took me maybe only a month before the pictures and videos made me feel better/bittersweet. It depends on YOU. Don't let anyone tell you any part of your grieving process is right or wrong.

 

[Miss Annamarie]

Hard part for me is he has 2 cages here. One upstairs and one downstairs. They sit empty just as he left them. I haven’t even been able to empty his last bowl of breakfast I gave him. It’s heart wrenching looking at his things just the way he left them. The half chewed wood peices. The net he was climbing on and had the. Best time playing his silly little tricks on. All the wood chip peices at the bottom of his cage.
The worst part is when I am ready to take all this down I have nowhere to put it. There is no spare bedroom. No storage closet that they will fit in. I’d have to rent a storage until just to get it all put away somewhere.

Keep anything you need to as well even to if to some people it's "garbage" I have a half chewed up maraca and a split in half bead next to my bed of his.