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Bunny? So soon?

Miss Annamarie

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My dad talked to me and said since I'm getting rid of Bear, we could get another, littler bunny since Ari is okay with littler ones and to help me get over Bear. I'm tempted, but should I get another baby this soon? We have the room and the supplies but would it just make me more sad over Bear? We found a bunch of babies on Facebook that were an accident and I've been helping by telling the lady how to care for the kits since she wasnt expecting them. If i were to get one this is the one I would choose, I'm still not sure though, I would like advice. They would be ready in the middle of April. I am unsure but excited at the possibility if that makes sense. received_339784237463084.jpeg
 

Sylvi_

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I think it’s totally up to the individual when they’re ready to welcome another animal home.
Losing an animal, in any way, is a very hard event and my best advice is make sure that you’re ready emotionally, too.

This bunny will be their own unique little life, and you will create a different bond than you had with Bear with them. To some this is a very exciting thought and to others, this can cause heartache. And that’s okay. But it may mean that the person needs some more time.

Whatever your decision, it’ll be the right one. Sending hugs. :hug8:
 

Sparkles99

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I would not get any more animals, of any species, be they big or small, in your current position.

Just in the last few months you've:
  • Had to rehome Bear;
  • Lost a lovebird & a budgie;
  • Said you hadn't yet neutered Bundt Cake.
If you have to rehome a pet, it can be a sign you have all you can handle. If you lose a couple of birds & don't even know their current whereabouts/ fate, it usually is a sign you have all you can handle. If you haven't yet amassed the funds to neuter one of your pets, it's probable that your financial resources are stretched too.

Having watched your posts for awhile now, I find the trend of regular pet acquisitions concerning. It makes me wonder why the need for constant distraction. Whatever the answer to that question is, I'd deal with it rather than getting another living distraction. If you can't right now, perhaps a different distraction, like a hobby that doesn't involve animals, would be best.

It may seem nice of your father to support your pet acquisitions, but a parent's job is to parent, not be their child's best friend, until the child has made their way in the world whereupon they can relax & be a friend. For most parents, parenting doesn't end just because the person reached adulthood. Most young adults aren't in a job they'd like longterm &/ or haven't decided what that might be. They haven't fledged, regardless of where they live. That said, many well-meaning parents try to compensate for what they can't control, fix or what's missing by encouraging behaviour that may not actually be in their child's best interests.

You have considered going to college & moving out. How will you find a landlord to accept even your half of the pets you have now? What about time to attend to them, work & study, without burning out? Balancing all of this is hard for everyone, but harder for some than others. Life isn't fair.

If I were you, rather than contemplating what you might feel if you got another rabbit so soon after rehoming Bear, I'd focus on these key things:
  • Why is more never enough?
    • Why the constant parade of pets?
    • If the problem you seek a bandaid (new pet) solution to is out of your control, I'd seek professional help. Even free counselling at a community centre or house of worship can be better than none.

  • What are your short & long term career goals?
    • Do you need further education to meet them?
      • If so, what, where, when?
      • Would full-time or part-time suit your job, health & mental health best?
    • Are you happy with your current job or would you like a change?
    • Is your long term career goal realistic?
      • Is it in reasonable demand?
        • I know people who'd like to be paid to do their hobbies. I'd like that too. Ask me how it's working out for them...
      • Would you enjoy it?
        • Getting a placement or volunteering can help determine this.

  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
    • Career, education, house, pets, family, etc.
    • Is what you are doing now going to help or hinder these goals?
    • Remember, "a goal without a plan is just a wish".
It's wonderful that you're helping with this oops litter, but I'd advise you as a well-meaning, outside observer, to keep your involvement to just guiding her from a distance. And to answer your question, yes, I believe that you might feel more sad &/ or guilty over Bear if you get another bun. And what if the bun grows larger than expected? What if Bundt Cake &/ or Ari rejects the new rabbit. Another rabbit certainly won't help Bundt Cake's litter box skills!

I know this isn't the answer you'd likely hoped for, but I hope you will consider my advice. It's kindly meant. The internet has an all endorsing effect on many people. Everyone's a cheerleader, in large part because none of us is there to deal with the fallout.

Sylvi_, I disagree with your statement. People make poor decisions that aren't in theirs or others' best interests all the time. :sad8:
 

Sylvi_

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I disagree with your statement. People make poor decisions that aren't in theirs or others' best interests all the time. :sad8:
Absolutely, I do agree with you here. In this post’s case I wasn’t aware what the living situation was and I was coming from a different angle.

Great advice. Definitely all important points to consider before acquiring another animal.
 

scrape

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My dad talked to me and said since I'm getting rid of Bear, we could get another, littler bunny since Ari is okay with littler ones and to help me get over Bear. I'm tempted, but should I get another baby this soon? We have the room and the supplies but would it just make me more sad over Bear? We found a bunch of babies on Facebook that were an accident and I've been helping by telling the lady how to care for the kits since she wasnt expecting them. If i were to get one this is the one I would choose, I'm still not sure though, I would like advice. They would be ready in the middle of April. I am unsure but excited at the possibility if that makes sense.
Personally, I think if good people can adopt, they should. I think adopting is a rewarding way to move away from a past animal. By giving this little one the best life you would be honoring Bear's memory. If everything is good, everything checks out and you have the resources, I would say you are ready. You could visit the little one when possible, to make sure you're ready.
This is my opinion, of course take it or leave it.
 

Blueberry

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I think getting a new bunny is up to you. No one knows your situation better than you. I think it was great you found bear a new wonderful home than relinquishing him to a shelter. You clearly care for your animals. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.
 

Miss Annamarie

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I would not get any more animals, of any species, be they big or small, in your current position.

Just in the last few months you've:
  • Had to rehome Bear;
  • Lost a lovebird & a budgie;
  • Said you hadn't yet neutered Bundt Cake.
If you have to rehome a pet, it can be a sign you have all you can handle. If you lose a couple of birds & don't even know their current whereabouts/ fate, it usually is a sign you have all you can handle. If you haven't yet amassed the funds to neuter one of your pets, it's probable that your financial resources are stretched too.

Having watched your posts for awhile now, I find the trend of regular pet acquisitions concerning. It makes me wonder why the need for constant distraction. Whatever the answer to that question is, I'd deal with it rather than getting another living distraction. If you can't right now, perhaps a different distraction, like a hobby that doesn't involve animals, would be best.

It may seem nice of your father to support your pet acquisitions, but a parent's job is to parent, not be their child's best friend, until the child has made their way in the world whereupon they can relax & be a friend. For most parents, parenting doesn't end just because the person reached adulthood. Most young adults aren't in a job they'd like longterm &/ or haven't decided what that might be. They haven't fledged, regardless of where they live. That said, many well-meaning parents try to compensate for what they can't control, fix or what's missing by encouraging behaviour that may not actually be in their child's best interests.

You have considered going to college & moving out. How will you find a landlord to accept even your half of the pets you have now? What about time to attend to them, work & study, without burning out? Balancing all of this is hard for everyone, but harder for some than others. Life isn't fair.

If I were you, rather than contemplating what you might feel if you got another rabbit so soon after rehoming Bear, I'd focus on these key things:
  • Why is more never enough?
    • Why the constant parade of pets?
    • If the problem you seek a bandaid (new pet) solution to is out of your control, I'd seek professional help. Even free counselling at a community centre or house of worship can be better than none.

  • What are your short & long term career goals?
    • Do you need further education to meet them?
      • If so, what, where, when?
      • Would full-time or part-time suit your job, health & mental health best?
    • Are you happy with your current job or would you like a change?
    • Is your long term career goal realistic?
      • Is it in reasonable demand?
        • I know people who'd like to be paid to do their hobbies. I'd like that too. Ask me how it's working out for them...
      • Would you enjoy it?
        • Getting a placement or volunteering can help determine this.

  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
    • Career, education, house, pets, family, etc.
    • Is what you are doing now going to help or hinder these goals?
    • Remember, "a goal without a plan is just a wish".
It's wonderful that you're helping with this oops litter, but I'd advise you as a well-meaning, outside observer, to keep your involvement to just guiding her from a distance. And to answer your question, yes, I believe that you might feel more sad &/ or guilty over Bear if you get another bun. And what if the bun grows larger than expected? What if Bundt Cake &/ or Ari rejects the new rabbit. Another rabbit certainly won't help Bundt Cake's litter box skills!

I know this isn't the answer you'd likely hoped for, but I hope you will consider my advice. It's kindly meant. The internet has an all endorsing effect on many people. Everyone's a cheerleader, in large part because none of us is there to deal with the fallout.

Sylvi_, I disagree with your statement. People make poor decisions that aren't in theirs or others' best interests all the time. :sad8:
I agree with where you're coming from but also assumptions threw me in the wrong direction a bit;
"If you lose a couple of birds & don't even know their current whereabouts/ fate, it usually is a sign you have all you can handle." We were gone for 4 hours, they were in their cages, it was Christmas Eve. We have looked behind furniture and searched for small holes everywhere. It's not that I'm overburdened, they've just disappeared, we've even looked in the attic, we've ripped the house apart.

"If you haven't yet amassed the funds to neuter one of your pets, it's probable that your financial resources are stretched too." It's not the fact that I haven't had money, I put in money every paycheck to an account for vet fund/emergency vet etc. I was worried since older buns can not always fare so well during surgery. I can promise you with everything in me, my budget is fine.

"If you have to rehome a pet, it can be a sign you have all you can handle." I get where you're coming from but a BIG part of it is that he doesn't get along with Ari, he's such a big bunny that I feel bad confining him to his own room the entire day when he used to free roam. I now, whole heartedly think he would do better in another home.


  • Why is more never enough?
    • Why the constant parade of pets?
    • If the problem you seek a bandaid (new pet) solution to is out of your control, I'd seek professional help. Even free counselling at a community centre or house of worship can be better than none.
Again, I understand where you're coming from. It definitely is part of my mental health, they are one of the only things that wake me up in the morning and keep me going, but I don't see a problem with it if I know my limits. I have a written-out schedule I follow every day and everyone is more than taken care of and spent time with and I still have a bit of free time to myself. I do know my limits and I know how much I can take. I am self-aware, I am impulsive. But the impulsivity is backed by knowledge and knowing what I am getting into.


How will you find a landlord to accept even your half of the pets you have now?
I won't be. I've been saving up a down payment for a house, that's why I haven't moved out yet. I'm close, but not there yet. I'm 19, I have time.

  • What are your short & long term career goals?
    • Do you need further education to meet them?
      • If so, what, where, when?
      • Would full-time or part-time suit your job, health & mental health best?
    • Are you happy with your current job or would you like a change?
    • Is your long term career goal realistic?
      • Is it in reasonable demand?
        • I know people who'd like to be paid to do their hobbies. I'd like that too. Ask me how it's working out for them...
      • Would you enjoy it?
        • Getting a placement or volunteering can help determine this.

  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
    • Career, education, house, pets, family, etc.
    • Is what you are doing now going to help or hinder these goals?
    • Remember, "a goal without a plan is just a wish".
I appreciate your concern, but I have my own personal plans. I know most of you don't think I take these things into thought but I do. I'm good in the job I am in for about 2 more years and then I'll move. The certain job I want would be easier to get into with a degree, but a lot of employers value volunteer experience and knowledge just as much, a degree is not needed.
I did get into university but I decided I don't plan to go. I've never done well mentally in school, I'm sure college would be better, but I'd rather work a little harder to be able to do what I want than go through what I did in high school. Having a 3.9 GPA doesn't matter when you're mustering up all you can do to not kill yourself.
I have goals I intend to carry out along with plans.

"And what if the bun grows larger than expected? What if Bundt Cake &/ or Ari rejects the new rabbit. Another rabbit certainly won't help Bundt Cake's litter box skills!"
I have fostered and taken care of smaller rabbits before and Ari has always been fine with them. I don't plan on bonding Bundt Cake and the new bunny if I do get the kit. The parents of the kit are both under 5lbs, Bear is almost 20lbs.

Again, I appreciate your concern and understand completely where it's coming from, but I consider these things as well. If you have any other questions for me I'd be glad to answer them.
 

Mizzely

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If you are planning on buying a house, I would talk to a mortgage lender now so you have a game plan if you haven't already. It also gives you an idea based on your credit what you'll qualify for. It was really helpful for Josh and I when we started looking last year!

The housing market is crazy right now, with many houses being bought with all cash offers, and many are going well over asking price because there is a major lack of inventory nationwide.

Also depending on where you are looking to buy, check out Rural Development loans; we didn't need a down payment :)
 

Pat H

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My dad talked to me and said since I'm getting rid of Bear, we could get another, littler bunny since Ari is okay with littler ones and to help me get over Bear. I'm tempted, but should I get another baby this soon? We have the room and the supplies but would it just make me more sad over Bear? We found a bunch of babies on Facebook that were an accident and I've been helping by telling the lady how to care for the kits since she wasnt expecting them. If i were to get one this is the one I would choose, I'm still not sure though, I would like advice. They would be ready in the middle of April. I am unsure but excited at the possibility if that makes sense. View attachment 376839
:xflove::joyful::angelic::bliss:Of course that's just me...
 

Miss Annamarie

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If you are planning on buying a house, I would talk to a mortgage lender now so you have a game plan if you haven't already. It also gives you an idea based on your credit what you'll qualify for. It was really helpful for Josh and I when we started looking last year!

The housing market is crazy right now, with many houses being bought with all cash offers, and many are going well over asking price because there is a major lack of inventory nationwide.

Also depending on where you are looking to buy, check out Rural Development loans; we didn't need a down payment :)
Thank you so much!
 

tka

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I'd also recommend taking time to think this through.

Please be very aware that labour markets have changed. There are LOTS of university graduates who are struggling to get graduate jobs, often with relevant volunteer experience and knowledge. A lot of university students have part-time jobs, do work experience or complete internships in a relevant field. It's simply not the case that an employer will be making a choice between someone with a degree but no experience vs someone without a degree but with experience. You may want to contact people in the field now and ask them how you can make your CV and other application materials stand out - for example, if there are any training courses or qualifications that will give you an edge.

A new job may also mean changes in working hours, potentially changing shift patterns, potentially travel for training or continuing professional development. There are a lot of unknowns in how individual workplaces operate. I've worked at several institutions in the same field and they've all been different in their expectations and norms; some have expected people to stay at work long after their contracted hours, others clear out promptly at 5pm. You may also need to move around, especially if your area of work tends to do promotions through people applying for and getting more senior roles in a different company rather than staying within one workplace and being promoted internally. You have a good idea of your schedule and limits now, but expect this to change.

As @Mizzely said, it's a good idea to talk to a mortgage lender now and get a sense of how you should be proceeding. You'll need to know your credit score and know how much mortgage lenders would be willing to lend you in order to know what you need as a deposit. Housing markets are unstable all over the world so you really need to be paying attention to what the local situation is like.

I think the next few years are going to bring lots of changes for you, hopefully exciting ones! For that reason, I'd hold off on adding new members to the family until you have a better sense of where you're going to be and what your commitments will look like.
 

finchly

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I would not get any more animals, of any species, be they big or small, in your current position.

Just in the last few months you've:
  • Had to rehome Bear;
  • Lost a lovebird & a budgie;
  • Said you hadn't yet neutered Bundt Cake.
If you have to rehome a pet, it can be a sign you have all you can handle. If you lose a couple of birds & don't even know their current whereabouts/ fate, it usually is a sign you have all you can handle. If you haven't yet amassed the funds to neuter one of your pets, it's probable that your financial resources are stretched too.

Having watched your posts for awhile now, I find the trend of regular pet acquisitions concerning. It makes me wonder why the need for constant distraction. Whatever the answer to that question is, I'd deal with it rather than getting another living distraction. If you can't right now, perhaps a different distraction, like a hobby that doesn't involve animals, would be best.

It may seem nice of your father to support your pet acquisitions, but a parent's job is to parent, not be their child's best friend, until the child has made their way in the world whereupon they can relax & be a friend. For most parents, parenting doesn't end just because the person reached adulthood. Most young adults aren't in a job they'd like longterm &/ or haven't decided what that might be. They haven't fledged, regardless of where they live. That said, many well-meaning parents try to compensate for what they can't control, fix or what's missing by encouraging behaviour that may not actually be in their child's best interests.

You have considered going to college & moving out. How will you find a landlord to accept even your half of the pets you have now? What about time to attend to them, work & study, without burning out? Balancing all of this is hard for everyone, but harder for some than others. Life isn't fair.

If I were you, rather than contemplating what you might feel if you got another rabbit so soon after rehoming Bear, I'd focus on these key things:
  • Why is more never enough?
    • Why the constant parade of pets?
    • If the problem you seek a bandaid (new pet) solution to is out of your control, I'd seek professional help. Even free counselling at a community centre or house of worship can be better than none.

  • What are your short & long term career goals?
    • Do you need further education to meet them?
      • If so, what, where, when?
      • Would full-time or part-time suit your job, health & mental health best?
    • Are you happy with your current job or would you like a change?
    • Is your long term career goal realistic?
      • Is it in reasonable demand?
        • I know people who'd like to be paid to do their hobbies. I'd like that too. Ask me how it's working out for them...
      • Would you enjoy it?
        • Getting a placement or volunteering can help determine this.

  • Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
    • Career, education, house, pets, family, etc.
    • Is what you are doing now going to help or hinder these goals?
    • Remember, "a goal without a plan is just a wish".
It's wonderful that you're helping with this oops litter, but I'd advise you as a well-meaning, outside observer, to keep your involvement to just guiding her from a distance. And to answer your question, yes, I believe that you might feel more sad &/ or guilty over Bear if you get another bun. And what if the bun grows larger than expected? What if Bundt Cake &/ or Ari rejects the new rabbit. Another rabbit certainly won't help Bundt Cake's litter box skills!

I know this isn't the answer you'd likely hoped for, but I hope you will consider my advice. It's kindly meant. The internet has an all endorsing effect on many people. Everyone's a cheerleader, in large part because none of us is there to deal with the fallout
What a well written post! @Miss Annamarie is lucky to have a friend like you. Sometimes we need someone to shake us into reality a little bit.

Miss A, because I see a lot of myself in you I’m going to say this. I did already read your response to Sparkles and recognize that you feel this is a safe route to go.

Sometimes people keep acquiring pets because they are reaching out for love. The problem is you never quite get the love you want from animals so you keep reaching... eventually all you’re doing is the hard work (cleaning up poop and pee) and you can’t even enjoy them any more. Then one of 2 things happens.You might fall behind in their care and everything becomes an unmanageable mess. Or you might just keep getting them, they breed indiscriminately, etc and you become a full blown hoarder.

Even with rehoming them during the process, it can take its toll. Pets get very stressed moving from house to house. It’s hard on you too, letting go. And if they bonded with one at your home, that bond is broken.

I am saying this with love, I come from a family of hoarders and know the signs. I have hoarder tendencies myself. Trust me you want to work on it now - hoarding is also isolating.


I think the next few years are going to bring lots of changes for you, hopefully exciting ones! For that reason, I'd hold off on adding new members to the family until you have a better sense of where you're going to be and what your commitments will look like
True.

If you decide to do it then I’ll support you . Just want you to be sure, so you don’t get hurt. Hugs
 

Miss Annamarie

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Thank you for everyone's input. Right now my stance is that I may adopt the bunny but if I do, it's going to be the last animal I get until I'm settled. I was leaning towards no and even more after everyone's opinions, but I met the kittens this morning, and that kit is just too sweet, even as a baby. It's not set in stone but it is a maybe. If it does happen, I believe I have enough self-control now that even when people in town reach out to me with their animals (as they always do), I've been saying no and I know I'll be able to keep doing that and providing for my current family of animals without taking any new ones in.
 

Miss Annamarie

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What a well written post! @Miss Annamarie is lucky to have a friend like you. Sometimes we need someone to shake us into reality a little bit.

Miss A, because I see a lot of myself in you I’m going to say this. I did already read your response to Sparkles and recognize that you feel this is a safe route to go.

Sometimes people keep acquiring pets because they are reaching out for love. The problem is you never quite get the love you want from animals so you keep reaching... eventually all you’re doing is the hard work (cleaning up poop and pee) and you can’t even enjoy them any more. Then one of 2 things happens.You might fall behind in their care and everything becomes an unmanageable mess. Or you might just keep getting them, they breed indiscriminately, etc and you become a full blown hoarder.

Even with rehoming them during the process, it can take its toll. Pets get very stressed moving from house to house. It’s hard on you too, letting go. And if they bonded with one at your home, that bond is broken.

I am saying this with love, I come from a family of hoarders and know the signs. I have hoarder tendencies myself. Trust me you want to work on it now - hoarding is also isolating.



True.

If you decide to do it then I’ll support you . Just want you to be sure, so you don’t get hurt. Hugs
I have always respected and loved your advice so thank you. Not going to lie, my therapist as well is a little scared it might turn into hoarding someday if I don't nip it in the butt. I agree with the love thing, it could definitely partly be that.
 

Sparkles99

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Miss Annamarie, I sincerely wish you all the best.

If Bundt Cake's too old to neuter & you want him litter trained, we both know no other buns in the house will give you the best chance. Beyond that, I have no wish to address your reply to my post. I gave my best advice, but the choice is ultimately yours.

That said, I'm with finchly, I know whereof I speak. Take care.
 

Miss Annamarie

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Miss Annamarie, I sincerely wish you all the best.

If Bundt Cake's too old to neuter & you want him litter trained, we both know no other buns in the house will give you the best chance. Beyond that, I have no wish to address your reply to my post. I gave my best advice, but the choice is ultimately yours.

That said, I'm with finchly, I know whereof I speak. Take care.
He's not way too old, he's almost 4, it's just old enough to be concerning, he has an appt at the end of the month. Thank you for your advice.
 

Gigibirds

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Well for us, we had 2 guinea pigs (Pear and Bear) that we rescued from some friends who were going to give them away to any random person on the street. A few months in, sadly, Pear died. Two weeks later we got Bear a new friend. We were still heartbroken about Pear, but Bear has lonely. He needed a friend, so we adopted Chester! We had no idea how old they were, but Chester was definitely younger. We weren't sure what we were going to do when Bear eventually died, but it all worked out (in a horrible way - Chester got sick and died 2 weeks before Bear was scheduled to be put down :sad5:). I would recommend getting a friend for Ari, but get one roughly the same age, not younger. Because they you will eventually have to get a new friend for the younger one when Ari eventually dies, and so on. Getting another one also really helps you get over the sadness! (but if you rehomed bear due to allergies, are you sure that you aren't allergic to other bunnies?) Anyhow, it's all up to you! I would say yes, get a new one, but no, don't get a young one. Get one as close to Ari's age as possible. Good luck!!
 

Miss Annamarie

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Real Name
Annamarie
Well for us, we had 2 guinea pigs (Pear and Bear) that we rescued from some friends who were going to give them away to any random person on the street. A few months in, sadly, Pear died. Two weeks later we got Bear a new friend. We were still heartbroken about Pear, but Bear has lonely. He needed a friend, so we adopted Chester! We had no idea how old they were, but Chester was definitely younger. We weren't sure what we were going to do when Bear eventually died, but it all worked out (in a horrible way - Chester got sick and died 2 weeks before Bear was scheduled to be put down :sad5:). I would recommend getting a friend for Ari, but get one roughly the same age, not younger. Because they you will eventually have to get a new friend for the younger one when Ari eventually dies, and so on. Getting another one also really helps you get over the sadness! (but if you rehomed bear due to allergies, are you sure that you aren't allergic to other bunnies?) Anyhow, it's all up to you! I would say yes, get a new one, but no, don't get a young one. Get one as close to Ari's age as possible. Good luck!!
Ari is my dog actually, not a bunny! I'm not 100% sure if it allergies to Bear's fur, I think it may be the hay, I'm gonna try out orchard hay, I ordered about 20lbs of it last night.
P.S. (Pear and Bear sound like such cute names together!)
 
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