Bonding issues…

[ellbell]

I’ve had my cockatiel for over a year now, when I got him he was a year old and had been in an aviary with other cockatiels and some budgies. It seems like he just wants to be left alone to do his own thing. I’m not sure how to go about getting him comfortable enough to want to spend time with me. I just feel like I’m a cruel person for taking him out of an aviary where he had friends and putting him in a cage by himself. When I bought him I think my expectations were too high, I thought he would love me and let me give him head scratches, later on I realised that all birds are different and he is aviary raised so he isn’t used to humans touching him. I’ve tried to sit by his cage and give him treats for stepping up, but stepping up is the furthest he’ll go. What do I do?

Also, I know I’ve made a bunch of posts like this one but I’m just so stuck on what to do!

 

[finchly]

That must be frustrating. Does he go to your shoulder at all, to ride around? Does he like toys?

I feel like he’s going to have to think you’re cool- like playing with a toy he likes, before he will come to you regularly.

Since he was in an aviary before, this may be the way he is. Or his personality. Are you in a position to get him a friend?

 

[Wardy]

I can share my experience my conure was initially hand reared however was returned to the aviary as the breeder was unable to sell her due to lockdown.
Now i know she wasnt in a aviary for a massive amount of time she was very skitish when i got her.
I used to just sit by her cage and talk to her if i was reading a book or a magazine i would read out loud to her would offer her treats through her bars after a while when she didnt take them i would leave it on her platform perch just spent time on gaining his trust.
He steps up so take that as a positive interact with him as much as possible without any any expectation just by being by him and talking to him.
Be his freind with no expectations and see how he responds your not a cruel person and clearly care for him try and create a atmosphere with no preassure on yourself or your bird maybe this will make a difference.
I am sure in time your relationship will improve if people can build relationships with birds that have been treated badly over time you will be able to with your bird.

 

[scrape]

You and @Outstrech seem to have similar problems. Maybe you can help each other?

 

[Outstrech]

Hello ellbell! I noticed I was tagged here . Could you tell me how you got Winnie to step up? Since we both have more skittish birds, I think you might be able to help me! Thank you so much, and good luck with Winnie. I'm sorry, I can't give any good advice because I am nowhere near a bird expert.

However, some things I noticed that did help:

Keeping his cage next to mine while I do homework (Don't worry, I sleep in another room- sleeping with your bird is actually really dangerous to your lungs) This makes him more used to my presence, as well as being a low-effort way to bond
Giving him the option to go outside and into my room (of course, with my supervision!) for quite a while every day
Music/bird noises: I can't say for sure if he likes these, but he chirps along to them so I keep them on for him

Sorry, I know this advice is probably pretty bad, but these are just my experiencies with my bird Sunny.

 

[ellbell]

That must be frustrating. Does he go to your shoulder at all, to ride around? Does he like toys?

I feel like he’s going to have to think you’re cool- like playing with a toy he likes, before he will come to you regularly.

Since he was in an aviary before, this may be the way he is. Or his personality. Are you in a position to get him a friend?

He doesn’t go on my shoulder, and I don’t think he’s too fond of toys.
I would love another bird and I’m sure he would too, I would have to wait until next year though even then I’m not sure if I’m in a position to have another one

 

[ellbell]

Hello ellbell! I noticed I was tagged here . Could you tell me how you got Winnie to step up? Since we both have more skittish birds, I think you might be able to help me! Thank you so much, and good luck with Winnie. I'm sorry, I can't give any good advice because I am nowhere near a bird expert.

However, some things I noticed that did help:

Keeping his cage next to mine while I do homework (Don't worry, I sleep in another room- sleeping with your bird is actually really dangerous to your lungs) This makes him more used to my presence, as well as being a low-effort way to bond
Giving him the option to go outside and into my room (of course, with my supervision!) for quite a while every day
Music/bird noises: I can't say for sure if he likes these, but he chirps along to them so I keep them on for him

Sorry, I know this advice is probably pretty bad, but these are just my experiencies with my bird Sunny.

I started off by offering him a stick and just saying step up, he didn’t like the stick too much so I moved to putting my finger up close to him and asking again, sometimes he would just hiss and me and other times he would step up, then I rewarded him with millet.
Sorry that probably wasn’t the best explanation! I don’t remember too well what I did as I’ve had him for a little while now. Wishing you all the best with sunny!

I put on bird noises for Winnie and well and he makes little noises to them

 

[ellbell]

I can share my experience my conure was initially hand reared however was returned to the aviary as the breeder was unable to sell her due to lockdown.
Now i know she wasnt in a aviary for a massive amount of time she was very skitish when i got her.
I used to just sit by her cage and talk to her if i was reading a book or a magazine i would read out loud to her would offer her treats through her bars after a while when she didnt take them i would leave it on her platform perch just spent time on gaining his trust.
He steps up so take that as a positive interact with him as much as possible without any any expectation just by being by him and talking to him.
Be his freind with no expectations and see how he responds your not a cruel person and clearly care for him try and create a atmosphere with no preassure on yourself or your bird maybe this will make a difference.
I am sure in time your relationship will improve if people can build relationships with birds that have been treated badly over time you will be able to with your bird.

Thank you for your advice! I was just minding my own business and Winnie flew over to my desk only for a brief moment but I’m so happy! He’s only done that once before, a couple of months ago. And there’s no treats over here so that’s a huge step forward!

 

[sunnysmom]

That's great that Winnie flew to your desk. Why don't you now try making a little area there for him. You can get a shallow dish or tray and fill it with paper shreds, some little toys, hide some favorite treats- like some millet or sunflower seeds. Let him see you digging around in it and placing the treats. See if it will entice him to come over and start foraging. Only one of my tiels is really into toys but they all loved to shred paper. Try to get him interested in things that you do. You probably don't go through the mail, but for instance, I would sit on the floor and go through the mail and put the junk mail in a pile. My tiel Sunny would come over and watch and then start chewing on the junk mail. I'd sit and read a magazine and he's come over and start chewing on the pages, etc. Sometimes playing doesn't have to be anything elaborate but just doing things together.

 

[Outstrech]

If you don't mind, at what point did you start training to step up with Winnie? Was he not scared of you at all? Maybe scared of you a little, but could take millet from you? I just want to know when I can start

 

[Outstrech]

At one point, I got frustrated with Sunny and gave up, and stopped interacting with him daily. I was also getting busier with school life, so I sort of lost trust with Sunny due to not spending enough time with him. Now he's scared of my hands, and I'm getting sort of frustrated with Sunny again. I'm not going to give up though...

 

[ellbell]

If you don't mind, at what point did you start training to step up with Winnie? Was he not scared of you at all? Maybe scared of you a little, but could take millet from you? I just want to know when I can start

How long have you had your teil? I started training him to step up maybe a month after I got him? He was pretty scared of me, but would sometimes take millet from me

 

[ellbell]

That's great that Winnie flew to your desk. Why don't you now try making a little area there for him. You can get a shallow dish or tray and fill it with paper shreds, some little toys, hide some favorite treats- like some millet or sunflower seeds. Let him see you digging around in it and placing the treats. See if it will entice him to come over and start foraging. Only one of my tiels is really into toys but they all loved to shred paper. Try to get him interested in things that you do. You probably don't go through the mail, but for instance, I would sit on the floor and go through the mail and put the junk mail in a pile. My tiel Sunny would come over and watch and then start chewing on the junk mail. I'd sit and read a magazine and he's come over and start chewing on the pages, etc. Sometimes playing doesn't have to be anything elaborate but just doing things together.

Thanks for the advice! I will do that

 

[ellbell]

Update! Today’s he’s flown over to my bed twice, and once to my desk. He flew over to my desk just now and started chewing on my charger (I tried to move it and he went back to it so I turned off the power outlet and moved it away from him) after not being allowed to chew on my charger he tried to chew and lick my desk so I gave him some paper and he loved it! He would chew on it and drop it off my desk, I would pick it up and give it to him and he would do it again. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere! I’ve never been able to play with him like that

 

[Wardy]

Update! Today’s he’s flown over to my bed twice, and once to my desk. He flew over to my desk just now and started chewing on my charger (I tried to move it and he went back to it so I turned off the power outlet and moved it away from him) after not being allowed to chew on my charger he tried to chew and lick my desk so I gave him some paper and he loved it! He would chew on it and drop it off my desk, I would pick it up and give it to him and he would do it again. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere! I’ve never been able to play with him like that

That seems positive

 

[sunnysmom]

Update! Today’s he’s flown over to my bed twice, and once to my desk. He flew over to my desk just now and started chewing on my charger (I tried to move it and he went back to it so I turned off the power outlet and moved it away from him) after not being allowed to chew on my charger he tried to chew and lick my desk so I gave him some paper and he loved it! He would chew on it and drop it off my desk, I would pick it up and give it to him and he would do it again. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere! I’ve never been able to play with him like that

That's great! And yes, be careful about any electrical cord. Tiels for some reason love to try to chew on them.

 

[Outstrech]

How long have you had your teil? I started training him to step up maybe a month after I got him? He was pretty scared of me, but would sometimes take millet from me

A year