Best way for my parrot to handle my absence

[SunTruth]

Hello all,

I would like an advice on how I could manage to get my parrot ok when I am not there.

To give some context I am usually working from home, or there is always someone at home. But soon I will have to be absent for one night and a day. I will leave around 5pm and be back the next day at 4pm.

I have two option to manage that:

- either I leave my parrot alone at 5pm in his cage, and my dad can come the next day around 9am to stay with him for 1 hour, and then I come back around 4pm

- or I can get a friend to foster my parrot for the whole duration, but he will have to sleep not at home.

I do not know what is best for my parrot if I could get some opinions it would help.

Thank you!

 

[Shannan]

How old is your parrot? How adaptive is he/she? I always encourage people to teach your bird to be adaptive because they are so long lived that the chances of change in their lives is high. Therefore if you can teach them to accept those changes, they will transition better too whatever life throws at them. If he/she is not a stress plucker, and is able to self entertain, the bird will likely do well with your dad coming to check in on him once. Just make sure he has plenty of food, water, and his favorite toys. It would also be good for him to be cared for by another person so he gets used to that too. So do what is most convenient for you. You could leave a radio or tv on for background noise if you think that will help. You could also put a lamp on a timer that turns off at his normal bedtime and on at normal wake up. Then when you do get home be prepared to spoil him a little and reward him for entertaining himself like a big boy. I have had my African Gray for 38 years and during that time, he has stayed by himself for a weekend, spent a week at a friends house, a summer at another friends house, came to camp with me and stayed in a cabin, gone camping, slept in a hotel with me and been cared for by many different people over the years. Although personality definitely plays a big hand in this, I do think that Walter has learned to accept changes and knows that despite those changes, he will be well cared for. I believe this may be harder on you than it will likely be on your parrot.

Others may chime in with other suggestions and ideas.

 

[sweetwillow]

Although personality definitely plays a big hand in this, I do think that Walter has learned to accept changes and knows that despite those changes, he will be well cared for. I believe this may be harder on you than it will likely be on your parrot.

I agree with Shannan that encouraging your parrot to be adaptive to change is a good thing. I hate leaving my amazon for the 6 hours a day I'm away at work. She spends all day outside of her cage when someone is home. I compensate by putting lots of foraging toys in her cage and give her quality face time when I return home. She accepts this routine. However, if I stay away longer or plan a rare overnight weekend visit she will "punish" me by being stand-offish when I return or refuse to go in her cage at bedtime. After a few days, things return to normal but I do have to earn my way back into her good graces.
My relatives who do not live with parrots think it's all in my head but I'm sure members on this listserve know better.

 

[Clueless]

I prefer to leave my parrot at his house, in his cage, with someone floating through while I'm gone to check on them.

It's worked for us.

I agree with the others that it helps to teach them to be adaptive to change.

 

[Shezbug]

I agree you’d be best to get him used to things such as being alone for a few hours at a time etc.
I’d not leave him totally unchecked or unattended for extended timeframes but half a day or a day (12 hrs) is something that should be learned to be totally tolerated happily by your bird for his own health and happiness.
I will always prefer to keep my bird in the home it knows as I know there’s limited dangers in the home he lives in- I can’t be sure what friends use or do in their homes and I’d hate to find out the hard way that they used fly spray while he was there for example.

 

[SunTruth]

Thank you for all your answers. My parrot is 4 yo. What is a little bit worrying for me is that he is not really independant. Either he spends time with me or with my mom, he rarely plays alone.

I think that at some point we will have to put him in environnement where he is on his own anyway. I will talk to my mom and see what could be best it is really a difficult choice. But maybe as you people said it is harder for me than for him.

 

[Clueless]

I agree with @Shezbug

We know to keep our homes safe for birds. For instance, when I stayed with a relative while remodeling my home I had to go thru to tell her what to remove. No smell good things, lining for oven spills, no using pots pans that were coated, no self cleaning oven while bird on premises, no chemicals to use while cleaning, etc.

Far easier to pay someone you trust to come check bird in his own environment.

 

[MnGuy]

I agree that leaving him at home and having someone check on him is a good plan.

You can acclimate him to spending time without you by making short trips out of the home and build up to being out all day (a typical work day like 8 hours). It's important for parrots to learn how to be on their own if you have to leave the house or take a vacation. I have a CAG and take several vacations a year -- some are just a long weekend but at least one or two are a week long. (Of course she has a sitter when I'm gone.)

Good luck.

 

[SunTruth]

The issue I think is that it is my first parrot and I did not know how to behave well with him. So from the beginning maybe I accepted too much him being on me all the time (I do not mind), and therefore now he is too dependant on me. Maybe it is the opportunity for him to take more responsibility alone.

I think I will ask my dad to check him.

 

[tka]

You might not mind your parrot being on you all the time, but you are creating problems for yourself in the future. I assume that your parrot is relatively young at the moment. Things can change dramatically when your parrot researches puberty. Being on your shoulder all the time is very likely to create a pair bond. This is very frustrating for a parrot because humans simply cannot fulfil the role of a parrot's mate. This frustration can lead to behaviours like screaming, feather destruction and aggression to you or others around you. It is very, very important to teach your bird to be able to thrive without constant attention or contact.

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

Do ease him into it - suddenly departing for 24 hours is likely to stress him. Instead, get him used to you going away and coming back after a short period of time.

 

[SunTruth]

You might not mind your parrot being on you all the time, but you are creating problems for yourself in the future. I assume that your parrot is relatively young at the moment. Things can change dramatically when your parrot researches puberty. Being on your shoulder all the time is very likely to create a pair bond. This is very frustrating for a parrot because humans simply cannot fulfil the role of a parrot's mate. This frustration can lead to behaviours like screaming, feather destruction and aggression to you or others around you. It is very, very important to teach your bird to be able to thrive without constant attention or contact.

Avoid the Pair Bond: Social Relationships with Parrots

At the heart of many behavior problems is a social relationship that has taken a wrong turn. Why? Because, despite our best intentions we often misunderstand what parrots really need from us social…

blogpamelaclarkonline.com

Do ease him into it - suddenly departing for 24 hours is likely to stress him. Instead, get him used to you going away and coming back after a short period of time.

Do you think it is an issue if he is either on me or my mom (but rarely alone)? For the pair bond?

 

[tka]

It depends on what kind of interaction he's getting. If you are in the same room but he's at least a metre away from you and he's doing his thing (preening, eating, playing, napping etc) and you're doing your thing and occasionally you acknowledge each other, that should be okay.

However, if he is always on someone's shoulder, sitting on or next to you and receiving constant attention then yes, you are creating exactly the right conditions for a pair bond. He is likely to choose either you or your mum and he may show aggression to the person he doesn't choose. By having him on you all the time, you are setting yourselves up for having a very difficult time.

 

[Momof3litt]

We are often told that out of cage is best, but you may be pleasantly surprised by what happens when you start to leave your bird to his own devices more often. Provided he has a large enough cage and lots of interesting activities, it may help him to become significantly more independent.

When I started needing to cage my birds for longer periods recently, I felt guilty. However, I quickly realized that they were spending most of their cage time foraging and playing with their toys and doing birdie things. Their cage toys had been largely untouched until they were given extended periods to play with them. For my GCC in particular, I think it can sometimes be a relief to be away from the people and just be able to do his own thing (but I have children who keep him very busy, so ymmv).

 

[SunTruth]

It depends on what kind of interaction he's getting. If you are in the same room but he's at least a metre away from you and he's doing his thing (preening, eating, playing, napping etc) and you're doing your thing and occasionally you acknowledge each other, that should be okay.

However, if he is always on someone's shoulder, sitting on or next to you and receiving constant attention then yes, you are creating exactly the right conditions for a pair bond. He is likely to choose either you or your mum and he may show aggression to the person he doesn't choose. By having him on you all the time, you are setting yourselves up for having a very difficult time.

Thank you for your advice.

My parrot is in the living room and usually when there are several people doing stuffs he minds his own life, well rather he seems very curious and look what people are doing without wanting to be on someone.

On the other hand when my mom or I am alone he will come on us on the shoulder. He almost never plays by himself alone, but he also seems afraid of most toys.

What could I do to help him understand he needs to do his own stuff even where there is only me or my mom home?

It is almost like if he was most interested in people than things you know (if I want to make an analogy with human).

I do not know how we could do to avoid the pair bond but if you have ideas let me know.

 

[SunTruth]

We are often told that out of cage is best, but you may be pleasantly surprised by what happens when you start to leave your bird to his own devices more often. Provided he has a large enough cage and lots of interesting activities, it may help him to become significantly more independent.

When I started needing to cage my birds for longer periods recently, I felt guilty. However, I quickly realized that they were spending most of their cage time foraging and playing with their toys and doing birdie things. Their cage toys had been largely untouched until they were given extended periods to play with them. For my GCC in particular, I think it can sometimes be a relief to be away from the people and just be able to do his own thing (but I have children who keep him very busy, so ymmv).

It is a very encouraging method thank you. I also feel really guilty for leaving him alone and for now I never seen him interest in toys. I hope my relationship with my parrot will evolve similarly as yours.

Thank you.

 

[SunTruth]

How old is your parrot? How adaptive is he/she? I always encourage people to teach your bird to be adaptive because they are so long lived that the chances of change in their lives is high. Therefore if you can teach them to accept those changes, they will transition better too whatever life throws at them. If he/she is not a stress plucker, and is able to self entertain, the bird will likely do well with your dad coming to check in on him once. Just make sure he has plenty of food, water, and his favorite toys. It would also be good for him to be cared for by another person so he gets used to that too. So do what is most convenient for you. You could leave a radio or tv on for background noise if you think that will help. You could also put a lamp on a timer that turns off at his normal bedtime and on at normal wake up. Then when you do get home be prepared to spoil him a little and reward him for entertaining himself like a big boy. I have had my African Gray for 38 years and during that time, he has stayed by himself for a weekend, spent a week at a friends house, a summer at another friends house, came to camp with me and stayed in a cabin, gone camping, slept in a hotel with me and been cared for by many different people over the years. Although personality definitely plays a big hand in this, I do think that Walter has learned to accept changes and knows that despite those changes, he will be well cared for. I believe this may be harder on you than it will likely be on your parrot.

Others may chime in with other suggestions and ideas.

By the way I forgot to say but you seem to have an amazing relationship with your parrot

 

[tka]

I don't let mine on my shoulder at all. It might be difficult to start with - you can either gradually reduce the time the bird spends on your shoulder or just go cold turkey. It's a bit sad for us to lose those snuggles but it really is so much better for the bird's mental health.

My two parrots have stands that are set up with various toys and food, and they get rewards if they stay on their stands (pieces of cashew or almond). Both are target trained and we usually do some targeting practice every day. Both will fly to the targeting stick so it's a good way to keep them busy and active.

What toys does he have? Many toys sold for birds in pet shops are made of hard wood and aren't very appealing to smaller birds. Get toys that are easy to shred - paper, cardboard, palm leaf, balsa and cork are all much more appealing to smaller birds and reluctant chewers. You can tuck little treats like a pinenut or sunflower seed in them and turn it into a foraging toy. There are lots of ideas for making your own on DIY Drive

DIY Drive

Share your toy making Do It Yourself ideas!

forums.avianavenue.com

The link I gave you is literally titled "avoiding the pair bond" and gives you lots of ideas on the kind of activities you can encourage. Read it and figure out how you can apply the guidance to your own situation.

 

[Shannan]

By the way I forgot to say but you seem to have an amazing relationship with your parrot

Thank you! We really do. He is so trusting of me and that really helps now that he is older and I have to do things like give him medicine, Physical therapy on his foot, Pick him up and move him by his body, etc. He hasn't bitten me in about 35 years (maybe longer than that). But he has such a laid back personality and I absolutely LOVE him for that!

 

[SunTruth]

I don't let mine on my shoulder at all. It might be difficult to start with - you can either gradually reduce the time the bird spends on your shoulder or just go cold turkey. It's a bit sad for us to lose those snuggles but it really is so much better for the bird's mental health.

My two parrots have stands that are set up with various toys and food, and they get rewards if they stay on their stands (pieces of cashew or almond). Both are target trained and we usually do some targeting practice every day. Both will fly to the targeting stick so it's a good way to keep them busy and active.

What toys does he have? Many toys sold for birds in pet shops are made of hard wood and aren't very appealing to smaller birds. Get toys that are easy to shred - paper, cardboard, palm leaf, balsa and cork are all much more appealing to smaller birds and reluctant chewers. You can tuck little treats like a pinenut or sunflower seed in them and turn it into a foraging toy. There are lots of ideas for making your own on DIY Drive

DIY Drive

Share your toy making Do It Yourself ideas!

forums.avianavenue.com

The link I gave you is literally titled "avoiding the pair bond" and gives you lots of ideas on the kind of activities you can encourage. Read it and figure out how you can apply the guidance to your own situation.

Concerning the toys for now his favorite are called kabob wood. It is a a toy with really soft wood that he can shred. I also got him harder wood but you were right he is not interested. He also like rope toys but given he made fiber of coton and get his feet stuck on these fiber I am looking to get him sisal rope instead.

I see the point in not having him on my should I will decrese this time and replace it with rewarded activity (he loves almond so I can reward him this way).

 

[SunTruth]

Thank you! We really do. He is so trusting of me and that really helps now that he is older and I have to do things like give him medicine, Physical therapy on his foot, Pick him up and move him by his body, etc. He hasn't bitten me in about 35 years (maybe longer than that). But he has such a laid back personality and I absolutely LOVE him for that!

It is exactly the kind of relationship I hope I will have