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Baby to adult. Will they still love me?

macawpower58

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I read in a book the most parrots will prefer females over males

I meant to respond to this, and just now remembered to.

I think it's not they like females more than males, but that our (us women) higher pitched, softer voices are liked and responded to more than a man's deep gruff tones.

We also usually put much more emotion and excitement in our speaking, which I believe is something birds also like.
 

Coros

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Well i'd love to adopt an older bird in need of a home but sadly there are no rescue around here, it's really sad.

If i were to adopt a hand-raised bird it will be already weaned, so i wonder if in it's eyes i would still be seen as a parent ?
 

Coros

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A just weaned bird is still basically a baby. Not much changes until the bird is a full blown adult with the changes that go with it. So it depends when that particular species of parrot hits full maturity. In a tiny bird it can be less than a year. In a large parrot it can take as long as 7 years and possibly longer for late bloomers.
Hum yeah it makes sense.

I really think that anyone wanting a bird because they want it to love them is already on the wrong path. You get a bird to love. You don't get a bird to feel loved. If the bird decides it likes you then its great. If the bird decides it likes someone else in the family, you have to be okay with that. If you live alone, chances are the bird will like you because there isn't anyone else.
Well i have no problem if the bird isn't loving me, but since i live alone it would'nt have any other chances to really bond with anyone, and i don't want it to feel alone and isolated.
 

LaSelva

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I meant to respond to this, and just now remembered to.

I think it's not they like females more than males, but that our (us women) higher pitched, softer voices are liked and responded to more than a man's deep gruff tones.

We also usually put much more emotion and excitement in our speaking, which I believe is something birds also like.
When it comes to a woman's voice illiciting a response, you could have a point. My TAG responds uniquely to my wife's voice in terms of returned vocalizations, but on the other hand, still prefers me. When it comes to anecdotal word of mouth that parrots prefer women, it seems to me that the perspective would be skewed if the world of parrot keeping is dominated by women, or they are more vocal among parrot keepers...as I suspect. Not saying this with any negative connotation. It's just from what I observe as the majority on parrot forums gender-wise. Even the now defunct BirdTalk magazine seemed to know this. I have seen them run articles on makeovers as well as home decorating. Clearly playing to what they felt their audience base was.

I really think that anyone wanting a bird because they want it to love them is already on the wrong path. You get a bird to love.
Me and my wife felt this way when we got our first large parrot, in other words, we had love to give and didn't have any requirements. We already had budgies that were not tame and simply enjoyed caring for them. I can say that from what we knew, we believed that affection would likely be returned to us in some way because they are, after all, social creatures.

But I have to admit that I don't believe the above quote to be realistic for several reasons. The first is that the idea of a pet to many includes having a "companion." We in fact call them "companion parrots." Unconditional love is touted as a benefit of pet ownership accross species.

I think that it's difficult enough to get through the rough patches with an animal like a parrot (in one's home) when the right human attitude is there. When the human loves it, seeks help, and is willing to work with it. This can be seen here on several current threads dealing with problem screaming. But when the human household has an animal that is messy, loud, headstrong, who's presence and needs can dominate an entire house, I feel that the animal's chances of lasing in that home (and of being loved) are lessened if it is giving nothing back in return. Compounded by the fact that people will be exposed to countless online videos of affectionate or entertaining parrots and will wonder why theirs isn't "that way."

Even if that bird reciprocates affection to only one member, issues will most likely arise that cause the other family members to complain - putting the preferred human in a tough predicament. We've seen it on these forums. And from the birds perspective, avian welfare requires collective effort and understanding within a home.

I feel that wanting reciprocated love is just human nature. I don't think that people manage their relationships as a one-way street. But when it comes to pets, especially parrots as pets, I don't see people buying them to be Mother Teresa - doing charity work. Most have jobs, spouses, children, stress, worries, need down time, etc. And most will want something that fits into their family and household. In other words, to relieve some of that stress, as pets are known to do. And for most accomplishing that will mean positive interaction and affection.

What you are saying (if I understood you correctly) has the most chance of applying if the parrot was purchased from the onset with the intention that it will be an aviary bird. And then if the parrot reaches out to the human for companionship after that, it will be a gift given.
 
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macawpower58

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I agree 100% David. I'm selfish. Even though I'll love and take care of any pet I own, I have them for the love they give me.

That 'no condition' love that only animals are capable of giving. They don't care if we're fat/thin, tall/short, white/brown, old/young, etc...

No where else in the world can we get that. IMO that love makes many of us thrive in this unsettling world, and we seek it out consciously and perhaps even unconsciously.

We do it with our cats, dogs, horses, and our parrots.

It'd be nice to be that altruistic person....but I really doubt that those of us owning parrots, do it with no thought of what we can get out of it. Perhaps there are one or two that do so.
 

fluffypoptarts

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I too think it's natural that we want to have our love be reciprocated, at least a little. Not that we don't have to work for it or that we'll disown them if they don't adore us, but just that we hope our birdy companions would respond to us at least a little positively.

Mine have certainly done so much more than that, and it makes a huge difference in my life. :)
 

melissasparrots

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If i were to adopt a hand-raised bird it will be already weaned, so i wonder if in it's eyes i would still be seen as a parent ?
A good hand-feeder will have the bird weaned and eating on its own for a few weeks before selling it to you. You should not have to hand-feed it. Most young parrots see anyone as a parent. In my experience, some species are more prone to extending that view on others as a parent beyond weaning. Those tend to be the slower maturing cockatoos and macaws which have an extended weaning period anyway and are coincidentally more prone to regressing with the stress of being sold if they were rushed to wean or if the breeder didn't keep them long enough post weaning.

Other species will often accept you more as a new flockmate. Any species regardless if you hand-raised it, purchased it as a weaned baby or adopted it as an adult or purchased a bird that was parent raised and then tamed can and most likely will eventually try to bond with you sexually. Nearly every female pet bird I've ever had has propositioned me. Some of them I raised from the nest, some were semi-wild parent raised birds and some were rehomes. The nature of the bond tends to change over time.

I would say that if you are the only person living in the house, then there is a very good chance the bird will bond with you and keep that bond. They might go through indpendence phases periodically which I wonder might be a manifestation of a dispersal instinct, but if you are the only thing available to form a bond with, they will generally form it with you. If you get married or have someone come live you someday, then all bets are off. Again, regardless if hand-raised, parent raised, purchased as adult etc. A bird can potentially switch bonds at any time if another potential mate is available. Although, in my experience very often they will maintain their bond even with new people in the house.

If you are worried about a bird changing a lot during maturity, avoid species that are notorious for becoming territorial at maturity and avoid whatever the more aggressive sex is in the species you choose. In my experiences with female amazons, cockatoos, macaws and cockatiels, the changes tend to be pretty mild. My only bird that changed a lot at maturity was my quaker and they are prone to getting outrageously cage territorial anyway...again regardless of who raised them.
 

Yoyo'sMom

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Can I tell you how much I love this thread. It's been an immense help to me reading through and realizing that this is probably whats going on with my little brown head Kiwi. It makes me kind of sad that I'll no longer have the relationship that we had in the past and I really have to give this little one tons of patience and respect the beak:) I've pondered the idea of rehoming for the birds happiness but I'm not sure I could do it unless I really knew the person well and that he had a bond with them. For now I'm sticking with training and trying to make the little guy as happy as I can.
 

macawpower58

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You'll make it through this time, almost all of us have been through trials and tribulations with our bird.

I'm glad you've decided to keep training and work on your relationship with your baby.

Hormones do calm down and you can still have a wonderful bond with your bird, it just might be different than you envisioned it to be.
 

melissasparrots

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:) I've pondered the idea of rehoming for the birds happiness but I'm not sure I could do it unless I really knew the person well and that he had a bond with them. For now I'm sticking with training and trying to make the little guy as happy as I can.
What makes you think the bird is unhappy? They normally just grow up and become unhappy in a home.
 

Yoyo'sMom

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He has a lot of stress bars on his feathers and I think he should have more out of cage time. I'm working on the out of cage time trying to train something to step up on but Kiwi is kind of phobic with anything new. I can't use my hand because I've gotten quite a few nasty bites.
 

Amillio

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I know this thread is old but I just wanted to share how much I loved reading through these threads. I have a rehomed African grey who I got at the age of five. She is nine now. She seems to become quite chatty when men are around so I think she prefers them. She will step up for me and every once in awhile will let me scratch her head usually only at night timer tho. She will also respond to certain things I say to her. If I say come in,she will make a knocking sound or ring the door bell. I had no experience with birds before getting her and read like five books on Greys when she arrived. She absolutely fascinates me even if she is a little bit of a stuck up. I am the only one she lets take her out of the cage but she will go to anyone if I hand her over. I think she loves me. Sometimes she tries to regurgitate for me. I never stroke her back or under her wings. I think we have a good relationship but she is not very affectionate. About two months ago I bought a baby grey. I debated big time between another grey or a yellow naped Amazon. I didn't know if I was prepared to own an Amazon or if beans would like an Amazon so I ultimately picked another CAG. I wanted another parrot because I thought beans would enjoy having one in the house and I wanted to get to experience raising one. Beans always got excited when I watched bird videos on YouTube, that's why I thought she would like a friend. Anyway, I got my baby grey and I absolutely love him. He loves to be held and cuddled and begs to come out to see me. I got him at a young age 12 weeks so I had to finish weaning him. (Please don't hate me for doing that) After reading all these posts, I sure hope his bond with me doesn't change. He is definitely sweeter than beans and Loves attention. Unlike beans he will also play with toys. Bean's first owners only ever provided one toy for her in five years so she never really learned how to play. I love each of my greys even tho they are extreme opposites. And it's just me in my house so I don't think I have to worry about them changing preferences. Sorry this post was so long I just wanted to share the differences I have had in buying a baby and getting a rehomed parrot. Both birds have been a joy and are different in many ways. If I were to ever get a third bird I don't know if I would rehome or by a baby. They both have their perks. Ultimately, I think you just have to find a bird that you can relate to and be prepared to love them regardless.
 

lower027

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Hey it's been a while since I posted! But can anyone with a poi, ekki, or conure throw in their two cents on this matter or point me to a post? Thanks!!!
 

GCC_Quijote

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My little conure is going through puberty right now.
Things can get a little iffy. He's often stubborn, and he's gotten territorial over the WHOLE bird room so that we've had to start using the cages a lot more.
However, he clearly still loves us.
He still likes to be on our shoulders (especially my husband's, who is still his favorite person) and he will call for us if he wants to come out and hang.
He's certainly not the same snuggly little baby he was (unless its bedtime and he's sleepy), but he loves us, and likes to be around us (on his own terms).
So, maturity brings changes, but it looks like we're still a family.
 

Tara81

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Does this also apply to cockatiels? (Getting them as ababy might prevent them from showing affection in the future?)
 

JLcribber

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Does this also apply to cockatiels? (Getting them as ababy might prevent them from showing affection in the future?)
I've never seen much of that kind of behaviour in cockatiels. They get a little testy during hormones and then go back to normal. They do like some people better than others but that has more to do with how much time and effort one puts in to have that relationship.
 

Tara81

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Thank you kindly for your response. I was thinking about getting a baby cockatiel to keep my older cockatiel company. Do you think my cockatiel of 2 1/2 years old is too old to be paired with a young cockatiel? (i dont mean right away - after quarenteen and after they get to know each other for a couple of months. )
 

JLcribber

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Thank you kindly for your response. I was thinking about getting a baby cockatiel to keep my older cockatiel company. Do you think my cockatiel of 2 1/2 years old is too old to be paired with a young cockatiel? (i dont mean right away - after quarenteen and after they get to know each other for a couple of months. )
Your 2 1/2 year old is just barely an adult and still very young. You don't really want a baby bird because that is not an equal pairing. You would never choose a "child" as a mate because that's what they are. A bird that is anywhere from 18 months or older would be the best bet.
 

melissasparrots

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I was thinking about getting a baby cockatiel to keep my older cockatiel company.
My experience has been that male cockatiels, when paired with a female do not stay good pets. They may remain sociable, but are likely to bite when you attempt to touch them or anything they think is theirs.
 

Tara81

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My cockatiel already does that and is not tame. He screams a lot when he hears noises so I thought he was lonely. I'm not sure I am what he is looking for as a companion, I'm not sure what to do . I don't want him to be lonely. If I play music he screams, if he hears the kettle he screams if he hears me sing he screams. If I whistle to him he opens his mouth and his tail fans out. i didnt know he would be so hard to tame. will he be ok as a single cockatiel? I have budgies but he doesn't like them. He tries to peck if they get close to him. He also screams a lot when I put them in the same room.
 
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