rpassaro79
Checking out the neighborhood
- Joined
- 9/22/22
- Messages
- 4
- Real Name
- Rebecca
I rescued a parakeet with one baby the other eggs were destroyed and whatever babies did hatch were destroyed. The mother was in a cage of severe inbreeding not being fed overfilled with birds in a dark house by a person who was a hoarder and didn't take care of them. The cage was so small I wouldn't even put a finch in there and they were about 17 birds in one. My friend and I rescued these birds she is an experienced rehabilitator and has worked with many different animals I have experience hand raising birds. I took the mother in with the last remaining baby and made her as comfortable as possible the baby would scream incessantly for days I noticed the mother would not feed him or would pretend to but never actually fill the crop. I began hand feeding the baby (his name is pebbles) at less than a week old when he got to be almost 3 and a half weeks he began to show signs of sour crop. This could have been a mistake on my part though I always took the temperature of the formula and fed him at about 102 he was a very good eater I syringe fed him. To treat the sour crop I gave him diluted apple cider vinegar. The formula was more watery and he aspirated some. I'll always regret this he survived aspiration but struggled. He hung in there and was hungry even after that. It took him a few hours to recover. He did however lose his tiny voice. He still squeaked but it wasn't the same. About two days later he developed a severe cough with gasping. When I comforted him he settled but he had cracking and struggled to breathe. That next morning he passed. I held him the whole day. When I used to hold him he was the size of my palm and he would wrap his little feet around my pinky as I held him. Even when I was sick and anxious he looked to me for comfort and my hands calmed him. He had so much personality and knew his name. I'm devastated. I have never felt anything like this sadness. I've hand raised birds and I've had some pass and some live. This just feels different for some reason. I keep replaying how I aspirated him in my head. How he would've never developed pneumonia. I'm assuming it was pneumonia because he didn't die immediately after aspiration but I'm not sure. Any thoughts on how quickly pneumonia develops after aspiration? Should I have gotten him on antibiotics? After aspiration he bounced back but I feel I should've done more. Immediately after aspiration and for the next days following I continued to suction him. I feel like the most guilty person and he just began to get his feathers and colors. He still had some pin feathers but he was coming into a real bird. His screaming used to annoy me at times and now I can't stop crying thinking about it because all I want to do is heat him scream . Even when he lost his voice I was hysterical because I would much rather him be loud and healthy. I'm so sad. Has anyone had severe heartbreak after this experience. I'm not a mom I'm 28 years old but for the first time in my life I felt needed in a different way. He would look me in the eye he loved when I talked to him he'd get upset when I didn't pick him up he knew his name. His tiny little lungs were so strong and loud and I can't help but feel like I destroyed them it's hard for me to even put him in the ground because he looked to me for warmth and comfort. As I've said I've hand raised birds before but I've never felt this severe over a loss. Mind you when pebbles came into my life I was going through a severe depression and existential crisis. I felt I had no reason to even live. When my friend asked me to take him I finally felt like okay I at least need to stay alive long enough to make sure he's okay. Then it went from that to I wanted to see who'd he become and the bond we would have as he got older. I'm so sad. I'm sorry this is a page to ask for emergencies and I vented way too long but I need other people to relate to. I've stayed up at night crying more than I cried even when my nana died. This is a bird I've only known 2 and a half weeks and I'm hysterical and inconsolable. I feel stupid. I've never gotten like this. Please if you've ever experienced heartbreak this bad and have a similar story about losing a hand fed bird a similar way or have any thoughts on how I could've treated him differently please let me know. Thank you