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14 weeks ago...still devastated..tragic passing..

Tilly123

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Hello. I am writing my thoughts down again...sorry. My beautiful Amazon parrot was killed by my dog (see previous thread) I wasn't there when he passed. I still have crying everyday...gut wrenching thoughts of him being in pain etc....and I miss him terribly. I am buying a Senegal parrot tomorrow...in a bad way..he is alone in an aviary. He virtually has no feathers left...I am going to give him a loving home. I still feel however that my yearning for Mr Jingles and the thoughts of him suffering at the end will never ever cease. Is there anyone out there who have lost a pet/parrot in similar circumstances who can tell me if this agony ever stops. Thank you all for your support...it has got me through the last 3 months.
 

sunnysmom

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I think it gets better but it never completely goes away. I lost Sunny, my tiel, in 2016. I still think about him every day. But I try not to dwell on the sorrow any more but just think about what a wonderful little bird he was. You lost your bird very tragically but I think no matter how you lose your bird you have what ifs. My tiel was elderly but I still endlessly thought what if I got him to the vet quicker, what if I had woken up an hour earlier, etc. You can make yourself crazy over all the things that maybe could have been different. After Sunny died, my fiancé would drag me on errands with him because he knew if he left me alone, I would just sit and cry. But day by day, it does get a bit better. And after awhile, you kind of quit tormenting yourself about how you lost them but instead think about the time you shared. I am happy that you are welcoming another bird in your life and I hope he can help give you some peace knowing that you're helping a bird in need.
 

cassiesdad

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It does get better, but, as Michelle said, it never goes away...and it is all right for it to get better. Sometimes we equate our feeling better with thoughts that we're disrespecting our lost...because we're feeling better. It's a nasty spiral to get into. It happened to me when Cassie passed...and although she did not have an accident leading to her death, I wasn't here when she passed...she was alone.
I felt that I should have been here...to comfort her transition to the next plane of existence...but I wasn't...and I felt like I failed her. As time passed, I realized that most of the time, we don't know when our time will come.

Although it's been nine years since Cassie's passing, I still am saddened when I think about the day she died...but then I think of all the wonderful times we had together...and there's light in my heart again.

It is alright to grieve...and it's OK to take as much time as you need to do so. Your heart is starting to heal, even if it doesn't feel that way, though. The fact that you're bring a new bird into your home is proof positive of that fact. One other thing...Mr. Jingles is looking in on you from the Bridge...and he's smiling.. because he's happy you're opening your heart up to a bird in need...:heart:
 

Mama Kirs

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It is alright to grieve...and it's OK to take as much time as you need to do so. Your heart is starting to heal, even if it doesn't feel that way, though. The fact that you're bring a new bird into your home is proof positive of that fact. One other thing...Mr. Jingles is looking in on you from the Bridge...and he's smiling.. because he's happy you're opening your heart up to a bird in need...:heart:
So very well said. ❤
 

Mizzely

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In July 2014 I lost my heart bird, Gizmo. She was a very special Hahns macaw. Pictures - Gizmo "Fire Belly" Hahns

She was strangled by a toy. I wasn't there to save her. She loved and trusted me more than any animal ever has and I failed her. Losing her left a hole in my heart that will never be filled.

But, finding another bird who needed me helped immensely. I still cry over Gizmo some days, but having Ripley in my life makes my heart feel less empty. :)
 

Remingtonb

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I'm so sorry. I'm new, but I just recently had the same thing happen to my sweet budgie, Astro. We found a stray dog who we were rehoming and she seemed totally fine with the birds. One day Astro was missing, no sign of him anywhere. I found him in the dogs poop :(

I so feel your pain. I worry every day what his last moments were like but I try to remember that he learned to fly at my house after I bought him from a small enclosure at petsmart. He flew free almost every day and it was so amazing to see my other birds teach him which ways to fly and how to land. I will never forgot those moments. I know we both wish so badly we could change their endings but they had beautiful lives too and I try to remember those moments instead. Many hugs your way!
 

TikkiTembo

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In July 2014 I lost my heart bird, Gizmo. She was a very special Hahns macaw. Pictures - Gizmo "Fire Belly" Hahns

She was strangled by a toy. I wasn't there to save her. She loved and trusted me more than any animal ever has and I failed her. Losing her left a hole in my heart that will never be filled.

But, finding another bird who needed me helped immensely. I still cry over Gizmo some days, but having Ripley in my life makes my heart feel less empty. :)
I had no idea about Gizmo. Did she inspire you to start making toys, or were you making them before she passed?
 

Mizzely

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I had no idea about Gizmo. Did she inspire you to start making toys, or were you making them before she passed?

I was dabbling in toy making but not really doing it a lot then. I became very paranoid of any toys by anyone else for a long time except a few people here on AA that I trusted.
 

TikkiTembo

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I was dabbling in toy making but not really doing it a lot then. I became very paranoid of any toys by anyone else for a long time except a few people here on AA that I trusted.
She was beautiful. So sorry you lost her like that. Sending hugs. Sharing her story can help others! :hug8:
 

camelotshadow

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Losing a heart bird is never easy but to lose them to such tragedy leaves a deep scar. I think its good you turn your heart now to a bird so much in need & hope with time your heart will heal... One can never come to reason why it happened or what could have been done to stop it. Its done & can;t be undone. A untimely tragic passing always leaves a deep hole. When we feel at least in part to blame...dog in a house with a bird etc or your wife who had a second of distraction that led to the events that too place/ There is just so much we can do to be vigilant & still in a split second its over...Many of us suffer months & years with sickness & cancer. Least your bird went quick. I;m sure a few terrible seconds of disbelief & panic but the body goes into shock & just fades away...Still the thought stays with us forever. We live it over & over again...The ultimate terror we don;t have to live with much as not much eats u as we are on the top of the food chain, Still there are sharks. crocs. lions. bears...not pleasant...Animals & insects live & die that way every day. Most of them lucky to live a year...We can not dwell on a sad existence or else we will bring upon us a sad existence. I think this Poi needs some care & love & hopefully in return they will help ease your sorrow & redirect your thoughts to more positive things in life as you should try to do. Loved ones who pass h=do not want us to bear sorrow for there loss...Photos please...:grouphug:
 

Cynthia & Percy

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I am still so very sorry for your loss
 

ZymForever

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I posted in the other thread that our GCC Zym suffered a similar accident with a dog (and I had the same concerns, that he suffered or was afraid, but we were actually there when it happened, and it was so so fast, like, unbelievably fast. There's no way your Mr. Jingles suffered for more than a moment), and like you we decided to rescue a new bird. We took comfort in the idea that Zym would "approve" of us giving a loving home to a bird in need. The bird we adopted, whose name is Sunny, is in my profile picture. Although we still miss Zym every day, Sunny has brought some happiness back into our lives, and I don't think Zym would have wanted us to be sad.

I am sure Mr. Jingles would feel similarly. He doesn't want you to beat yourself up. He'd be very happy to know you are going to help out a bird in need, in his memory.

I'm sorry you're hurting. I hope rescuing the Senegal gives you a bit of comfort. I'm sure you'll provide a loving home for that poor bird.
 

Tilly123

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I posted in the other thread that our GCC Zym suffered a similar accident with a dog (and I had the same concerns, that he suffered or was afraid, but we were actually there when it happened, and it was so so fast, like, unbelievably fast. There's no way your Mr. Jingles suffered for more than a moment), and like you we decided to rescue a new bird. We took comfort in the idea that Zym would "approve" of us giving a loving home to a bird in need. The bird we adopted, whose name is Sunny, is in my profile picture. Although we still miss Zym every day, Sunny has brought some happiness back into our lives, and I don't think Zym would have wanted us to be sad.

I am sure Mr. Jingles would feel similarly. He doesn't want you to beat yourself up. He'd be very happy to know you are going to help out a bird in need, in his memory.

I'm sorry you're hurting. I hope rescuing the Senegal gives you a bit of comfort. I'm sure you'll provide a loving home for that poor bird.
Thank you so much for telling me this...it rea
 

Tilly123

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Thank you so much everyone. Your replies have really helped...as always. Also, I am so sorry for those of you who have lost your birds. I have had many rescue animals over the years and thankfully they passed having lived long, happy lives with me. I grieved for them but had comfort from the fact that they went peacefully. I guess this is so hard because Mr Jingles went after 18 years and I feel bad because I thought he would be here for much longer. He deserved more. At the same time I am grateful that he spent his whole life with me when many poor birds not have any love in their whole lives. He was my first bird...my heart bird...who was with me throughtout bad then good times in my life. He was such a character. Happy, funny, grumpy at times but always talking, whistling and laughing...he was my ray of sunshine...I miss him and his voice so badly. I will think of him and carry him in my heart for always.
I wasn't sure whether or not to get a new bird but I saw this little Senegal(who I have named Tink) advertised on Gumtree here in England. He was put in a small aviary, by himself, because 'he made too much mess' in the owners house! He is, unsurprisingly,very plucked.When he arrived I felt really emotional but he walked onto my shoulder, snuggled up and was soon exploring. Some of his little actions so reminded me of my Jingles. He is a loving little bird and he will have a good life here. My heart is still breaking but Mr Jingles taught me what special little creatures birds really are and I will continue to rescue them for the rest of my life. Thank you all so much once again.....you are all very kind. Your support is SO very much apprectiated.
 

cassiesdad

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I will think of him and carry him in my heart for always.
This is for certain...Mr Jingles is safely perched in your heart forever...as Cassie is in mine. :heart:

And ...Welcome to the Avenue, Tink! :)
 

jh81

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There is no time limit for grief, and one should never say sorry for grieving! What happened to you and your bird was terrible, but look, Jingles had a wonderful life with you, and his passing opened up the way for some other bird to receive the same wonderful life as well. God knows Tink deserves as much! If Jingles did not pass, you probably would not have gotten Tink, and who knows what an aweful, lonely life Tink would be left to lead :(

So, there is a silver lining to Jingle’s passing, i hope in time you will see that, and that maybe it can be some comfort to you!
 

clothdog

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Hello. I am writing my thoughts down again...sorry. My beautiful Amazon parrot was killed by my dog (see previous thread) I wasn't there when he passed. I still have crying everyday...gut wrenching thoughts of him being in pain etc....and I miss him terribly. I am buying a Senegal parrot tomorrow...in a bad way..he is alone in an aviary. He virtually has no feathers left...I am going to give him a loving home. I still feel however that my yearning for Mr Jingles and the thoughts of him suffering at the end will never ever cease. Is there anyone out there who have lost a pet/parrot in similar circumstances who can tell me if this agony ever stops. Thank you all for your support...it has got me through the last 3 months.
Hi Tilly,
we are still having breakdown moments. I too think of the agony our little defenseless Chickster went through. I saved her about 8 years a go from almost the same fate and heard her screaming. But she pulled though it. That noise plays though my head when I think of what happened to her this time and no one there to save her. I was fortunate I did not come home to see Chickster torn apart because I was so full of anger I don't know what I would have done to our dog. . My wife found her.
I bought my wife a beautiful african grey locket with a picture of Chickster and her feather in it. She won't wear it because of the guilt. Not sure if we will ever get a bird again. it's her decision but not likely.
 
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Shezbug

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The pain of a loss never fully goes away but you do learn to deal better with the miserable feelings, you also learn how to carry on with your own life without feeling like a bad person for continuing to embrace life.
My thoughts are with you and I hope you find some peace soon :hug8:
 

fluffypoptarts

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I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult this has been and continues to be for you. :sad2:

Thank you for giving a birdy in need a home. How is the little Senegal settling in?
 

Tilly123

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Hi Tilly,
we are still having breakdown moments. I too think of the agony our little defenseless Chickster went through. I saved her about 8 years a go from almost the same fate and heard her screaming. But she pulled though it. That noise plays though my head when I think of what happened to her this time and no one there to save her. I was fortunate I did not come home to see Chickster torn apart because I was so full of anger I don't know what I would have done to our dog. . My wife found her.
I bought my wife a beautiful african grey locket with a picture of Chickster and her feather in it. She won't wear it because of the guilt. Not sure if we will ever get a bird again. it's her decision but not likely.
Thank you for replying. It is absolute agony isn't it. I'm not sure when and if these feelings will pass or fade but at the moment I still imagine his final moments every day and the tears come uncontrolably. I feel as if I am in a neverending nightmare. I keep on telling myself that he went into unconsciousness as soon as it happened but the next minute I think it he would have suffered for a while and that is the thought that still drives me to despair. It is a relief to speak to people like yourselves. I do think of you both often and your Chickster. Thank you.
 
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