URGENT HELP PLEASE

[TikkiTembo]

I hope that if I ever get in over my head with a pet, or anything really, my friends will rally around me with love and support and understanding, even if they secretly think I'm a nut job for getting myself in that situation in the first place. Humans make impulse decisions all the time, and while it's not great when it includes a living, breathing thing, it happens. All you can do is offer advice when she asks, and lead by example. I'm horrified by the way my friends keep their conure. I've offered to help, get them in touch with a rescue, or adopt him myself, and they're not interested. All I can do is show consistent support in case they change their mind later.
Also, on the topic of women owning Parrots...A friend asked me the other day if I thought that Tikki knew I was pregnant. I responded with "Well, birds don't really get pregnant....So no, I don't think my juvenille male knows I have a baby inside me." He must think I can't stop eating!

 

[HolliDaze]

For all the panicking you're doing, it seems you've only made things worse. You come over, he has good food and toys, the only reason she isn't letting him Out is because of some sexist myth you told her. Despite her clear effort, you're going into this with the mindset That she has no idea what she's doing. Did you bother to tell her that literally no one here thinks menstruation has anything to do with her bird? Please tell her about the forum so that we can help her directly.

 

[PufF]

So,I'm here to clarify a few things.
1) She kept Johnson in the cage because of her being scared to be bitten ( as she apparently did not see the reason why he was rehomed)
2)Next,not being a sexist here,I have been told of that myth since five years ago,and none had said anything against it (though none told me that it was correct)
3)I had a few experiences with people like Lucy when I was an animal shelter staff/volunteer two years ago and I did not have a so-much-so positive experience with them,but I'll talk about it later in the evening.
4)I did not actually slap her with those papers,because she was listening to my advice.If she didn't and Johnson was still in a miserable condition when I came around that day,she would be slapped for not listening to advice.Do keep in mind that I have been talking to her in a calm and positive tone,since I am,no matter what her friend and she is ready to listen.
I am not a violent person by all means but my frustration with her for adopting Johnson without any prior knowledge or prep (any Too' owner knows that a 30x30x35 is too small) can be misleading.

Alex wants me to see Cream Puff so I'll have to leave in 5 mins time.Thus,this is just in a nutshell.

 

[MiniMacaw]

4)I did not actually slap her with those papers,because she was listening to my advice.If she didn't and Johnson was still in a miserable condition when I came around that day,she would be slapped for not listening to advice.
I am not a violent person by all means.

I can’t tell if you’re serious and I hope you’re not.

If you slap her, this grown woman who is your “friend” I sincerely hope she is aware of the current statutes regarding assault and battery in your country (called different things in the US depending on jurisdiction, but generally described as to knowingly touch with the intent to insult, injure or provoke). In no way would actually slapping her be ok.

 

[Karen]

4)I did not actually slap her with those papers,because she was listening to my advice.If she didn't and Johnson was still in a miserable condition when I came around that day,she would be slapped for not listening to advice.Do keep in mind that I have been talking to her in a calm and positive tone,since I am,no matter what her friend and she is ready to listen.

I am not a violent person by all means but my frustration with her for adopting Johnson without any prior knowledge or prep (any Too' owner knows that a 30x30x35 is too small) can be misleading.

Are you actually telling us that you would be physically violent with this woman and slap her out of frustration if she didn’t listen to you?

 

[PufF]

Nope,I would only do that if she was deliberately not trying to help.e.g. leaving Johnson in that bare cage alone without any attention,toys,some seeds and water.And even then all I'll be doing would be ask her what she would be doing with him and if I hear a reply that has a somewhat trace of trying to help,I'll try again.
However,if she is going to simply leave him in the cage like that,damn the papers will be going on her face.If that adoption ad wasn't taken now ( now it is cause he's adopted),I will be asking the previous owner to take him back because at least the previous owner gave Johnson fruits and veggies.
I can't stand it when people don't bother to listen when I speak in a normal tone and is addressing something that needs to be changed and neither can I raise my voice now cause I have a sore throat.So your statement would be somewhat correct,I would say.And Johnson update,Lucy sent me some photos of Johnson holding a piece of orange and a text telling me that Johnson is a picky bird who would only eat oranges and bananas.Also she got bit when she tried to give him the fruit.
She is improving,I'm glad to say.And she did that mostly on her own.And for joining AA,she told me that she had already joined another parrot community so I guess she'll be there instead of here.
Maybe she could join two,I'll still try.And the timeline would be up next.

 

[PufF]

TIMELINE
-Lucy saw said ad
-Lucy contacted said ad's poster and asked to meet up that day
-Lucy informed me of the news
-I tried to discourage her and tell her how hard it is to care for one,and what her cat would be doing.I also told her about the reason why he was in need of adoption--bites
-She told me that she planned to keep Johnson in the cage because she didn't want to get bit or have her precious cat get bit.
-I told her that she wasn't suitable to get a Too' then since she was unwilling to restrain the cat or let the Too' out of his small cage
-She told me that I was just jealous and hung up
-The next day,she told me that Johnson was doing fine.I knew that she was going to keep him,for now at least,so then gave her a bunch of to dos for Johnson
-Considering what she had done these past few days,she listened( and thus no matter what I won't be slapping her because since the first day she got her,like the next morning,she had been making improvements.Thus,your thoughts on whether I would actually be slapping her would be false,since me giving the papers was on the third day) and got him some toys
-I'm still unsure on the cage but I think she'll get him a bigger now.For now,I'm more concerned on the cat issue as the cat himself was a stray before being adopted.

Basically both of them are doing fine at the moment and hopefully they always will be.It would become a lifetime bond,I'd say.

 

[Bokkapooh]

I'm going to ignore the threats of slapping someone and advise that you try not to be so frustrated with your friend that you speak like that.

Many people have cats and dogs and birds.

I just have my 5 cockatoos and 1 macaw, and though I Love cats and dogs, I do not have a house for them.

But many people make it work and I envy them.

Just help her understand that cats and dogs are dangerous to birds as one bite will slowly kill a bird. A bird who has been exposed to cat or dog saliva (scratch, Bite or from contact on food. Etc) should be taken to the vet and put on anti biotics immediately.

Just keep encouraging her to do research.

Allowing John out of the cage now isn't that important. She only just got him. It's best to keep cockatoos caged for a few days to a week so they settle down.

Talk to her about Positive Reinforcement and how to gain Johns trust.

It's great that she has found a forum where she can learn. If she is on FB, FB has a lot of parrot groups. There is a Mollucan Cockatoo group that would be perfect for her.

It really sounds like your friend is going to do what's best for John and that makes me so happy.

None of us long cockatoo owners started out perfect. We all started out as newbies and had to learn everything we know.

If she gets him a bigger cage that is the best.

Go ahead and show her cages of proper cages.

 

[PufF]

The point is she leaves the Too in with the cat,always.Why I want her to take him out is because of the miserably small cage.She went to my house multiple times before so she has seen a proper cage set up.However she thinks that that cage is fine due to him being able to fit inside.
On the bright side,she is now looking for big cages in pet stores for him.It will take a long time cause now there are hardly any big cages for sale.
Also I will probably be inactive for the following days because the exams are coming.

 

[PufF]

Damn it.SHE HIT JOHNSON.Lucy sent me a email telling me that Johnson bit her,real hard,on the arm.It was because of her changing the food and water bowl so she had her arm in the cage,Johnson probably felt scared so he bit her.Thus,she hit him...I just went over to check on them.Both are not so fine.I could see that Johnson is getting real aggressive now,to Lucy only though.I could just stand 1 metre away from his cage and he'll be fine.But if she came close,hisses and screams would be the only things that we and the whole block will hear.
Johnson looks alright at the moment but I think I need to wait for a few days to be sure.The latest vet appointment is next Tuesday and is an hours drive away.
Lucy has this really scary bite on her arm.It was such a big gash that I think I can see the bones(not exaggerating here).I closest bite that I can even compare to that one would be the blow I got from Umbrella that time I tried to get her up and into a carrier to see a vet (the vet was my vet and he was available at that 11pm after I frantically called her up) because of a night fright that had her wing bleed real bad.
In the end both of us went to the doctors.
Back to point.Lucy would be seeing the doctors at 5pm.She should be there now actually.I'm at home with Alex now but I think that both of us would be over at her house to stay with Johnson until she comes back.
Hopefully both will be fine.
I think that I might have to take Johnson or foster him until some ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE PERSON COMES BY TO ADOPT.Lucy tried but I don't think that she's ready yet.She should stick with some tiels' for the time being.
I'll see what she thinks later when she comes back or emails me again.

 

[Tiel Feathers]

Oh no, that sucks! So much for any trust that could have been built up. I’ll be curious to know what she says when she gets home. Poor bird.

 

[BeanieofJustice]

Poor Johnson, I'm sorry to hear about the whole situation. Hopefully there is a good solution for both of them.

 

[Caudalie]

any updates on Johnson?

 

[PufF]

Yes,sorry for late update cause today's a application test day for soon-to-be year ones (we have year six here) and after that I went to see Lucy.Couldn't update yesterday cause when she came back she looked tired and I thought that she needed some me-time.
I was outside the main door for 15mins to make sure that she was okay.
Today when I checked was when I was eating late lunch at 2+pm and she called me to see if I could take him.I was expecting yet not expecting that since I hoped that she could get over the incident.She was firm.So now Johnson is at my place in a bigger cage that was laying around my house.He's in Star's quarantine room but I moved Star out because Johnson was quite unhappy with her presence.
I update later cause they are in a need of food!

 

[TikkiTembo]

That's a bummer for your friend that it didn't work out. She must be feeling pretty down. Hopefully she will think twice before jumping into such a commitment next time though. Most importantly, he is safe and will be well cared for.

 

[JLcribber]

Didn't take long for the sh*t to hit the fan did it? She got exactly what she deserved.

Thank you for stepping up and taking Johnson Sam. This now becomes "your" very demanding and challenging journey. We are always here to help. So are you keeping him or gonna find him a qualified home?

 

[Hawk12237]

She adopted Johnson...

Oh...dear! Poor too.! I've rescued more Too's than any other bird in past and rehomed them in cases identical to this.
All too often they are bought based on their cuteness, and that in reality is superficial, on the surface. The real too lies beneath.
And once a person is bitten, they usually are afraid to go near the too...the end results, they are rehomed. I see it at least 5 times a month.
sad as he11. What's even worse, is the sellers are willing to let a too go to someone that usually has no full understanding of a too, just to get the too out of their hair. Like passing the buck.
Makes me mad as he11!!!!!

 

[Zara]

And once a person is bitten, they usually are afraid to go near the too...the end results, they are rehomed.

That is exactly what happened. The lady was bitten, and now the bird is living with @umbrella

 

[Hawk12237]

I too, knew nothing about parrots, their care, their needs, and took in a mature green winged male macaw with temperament issues and medical problems! We did just fine, actually better than fine, with the help of wonderful caring internet friends and message boards.

Let's hope she finds her way here so she can read or reach out if she feels comfortable to do so for support. Let's hope for the birds sake that this is not all doom and gloom as has been predicted. I going to hope for the best for this bird and its new owner.

I hear ya Karen, I was in same boat. Took on a military as Mr first parrot back in '74. Knew nothing about them. The only experience I had was with hawks. Which I had 2 at the time.
There was no internet, or AA, you basically grabbed every book you could from library and read and studied. Fast forward to now, 45 yrs later and 39 parrots, I've come a long ways.
But it took a lot of close studying, observing, analyzing their behavior, likes and dislikes. It was not a sleigh ride at first, but I push thru. I'm glad I did. 45 yrs of commitment to understand parrots.

 

[Hawk12237]

That is exactly what happened. The lady was bitten, and now the bird is living with @umbrella

Yep....figures. Knew where this was going after reading the first couple posts from OP. Even John as well knew where this was heading.
All to often this is the case with new people getting a too. You have to accept the fact you'll get bitten somewhere along the lines. From a nip to a good hard bite. If that freaks people out, then get a pet mouse! They're cute too!
The number one excuse I hear from rescued birds....it bites! (No...really?!?! )
Of course theirs a chance they'll bite. True not all birds will bite, but the odds are not in your favor.
Sorry I vented, just pisses me off that people don't do their research before hand to know what to expect.