URGENT HELP PLEASE

[PufF]

So today,my friend,Lucy,called me and told me that she was getting a M2,but she knows nothing about them.I found the exact ad and I doubt if she can care for one.She is meeting the guy at 8pm later and I can't convince her to not get one.She is drawn the said Too because of his beauty.
The Too is a male,name John,34 years old but the most important thing is that he is rehomed because of BITING AND AGGRESSION.
Lucy knows nothing about bird care,not to mention care for the infamous hard-to-bond M2s.She is a female so she'll have the time of the month and she also has a noise-intolerant neighbour ( I know bc she told me and that guy was quarreling with another neighbour because their 2 year old was too noisy ) .
She doesn't know how loud they scream,how hard their bite is,how hard it is to care and what they need to be healthy birb.She wants him cause she can and this is bad.
Johnson has no adoption fees and comes with a way-too-small cage and some toys.She thinks that she'll not need to get those herself but I think that the owner just wants to get rid of him.
I'll type more later but now I'll just post cause it's urgent.

 

[PufF]

I think that her visits to my house makes her think that Too caring is EASY.No,caring for them is AF HARD.I'm just lucky to get Toos who understand me well.And yet I get bites and stuff and that bond took me years to establish.
Lucy is 23 and has a stable job.That's the only upside.She has a big house too but I doubt if she's ever gonna let Johnson out once she got bit.I think that she'll rehome him an hour later after adopting him.

 

[PufF]

So now I need advice on how to convince her to not adopt cause she can't provide a good home for him and what to do if she adopts Johnson anyway.Frick this is a bad day.

 

[Zara]

Invite Lucy to the AA forum.

If she is interested in a cockatoo, then she owes it to the bird to read up first and there is plenty of great info on this site.

.I think that she'll rehome him an hour later after adopting him.

Maybe you could be there to take John if things don´t work out with Lucy?

@JLcribber @cassiesdad @sunnysmom

 

[PufF]

I could,but I'm not sure if I want to risk that because I don't wish to have my flock hurt by Johnson.I wanted to get her in here too but she's the arrogant type and thinks that she knows enough,that is,she thinks that all Johnson needs is water,food and a cage.
Also,I don't wish to have her spread false information on birds if she does join since she is heavily influenced by her late grandfather,who was a bird breeder(somewhere along those lines,she told me once.) that did not provide such a good condition for the birds and thus gave her the misconception that bird care is,really simple and they are hardy and won't bite.
I would try again if I could but she now refuses to answer my calls because of "I know what I am doing,you are just jealous of me owning a bird!"( Seriously,I don't need to envy you,but I do care about both you and the bird's safety)
And now,I think that I also need to make a new thread on how to convince a 'bird' person.

 

[PufF]

She adopted Johnson...

 

[JLcribber]

I would try again if I could but she now refuses to answer my calls because of "I know what I am doing,you are just jealous of me owning a bird!"( Seriously,I don't need to envy you,but I do care about both you and the bird's safety)

When the sh*t hits the fan, and it will, you will be the first call she makes. Be prepared to either help, take this bird and keep it, or help facilitate finding it a real home.

 

[PufF]

Yup,I'm waiting too.

 

[PufF]

The call will probably come once she gets bitten.

 

[Lady Jane]

can you send her a link to mytoos.com

 

[PufF]

Ah,yes,my toos.com .That was the first ever forum ( not even bird forum) that I ever,ever joined.The pics and stories I showed her to discourage her was from there.She'd been there once but left.I haven't received that phone call yet and I would never want to cause hopefully,my hopelessly impulse-adopting Lucy will actually,understand Johnson.Judging from the excited tone she called me when she adopted Johnson ( a show-off call,not want-to-get-rid call),I think she enjoys being in the presence of Johnson,our,surprisingly-not-plucking yet extremely bite-ish and aggressive M2.

 

[cassiesdad]

When the sh*t hits the fan, and it will, you will be the first call she makes. Be prepared to either help, take this bird and keep it, or help facilitate finding it a real home.

..all I can do is second this...

 

[PufF]

No call,yet.

 

[sunnysmom]

I hope things somehow work out for them both. She has taken on a huge task. You're a good friend for trying to be the voice of reason. Maybe you can send her some links and articles on bird care and cockatoos? I honestly am a little afraid for both of them.

 

[parrotluv]

OH wow such a bad decision on her part! Poor bird in the wrong hands.

 

[Karen]

I too, knew nothing about parrots, their care, their needs, and took in a mature green winged male macaw with temperament issues and medical problems! We did just fine, actually better than fine, with the help of wonderful caring internet friends and message boards.

Let's hope she finds her way here so she can read or reach out if she feels comfortable to do so for support. Let's hope for the birds sake that this is not all doom and gloom as has been predicted. I going to hope for the best for this bird and its new owner.

 

[Tanya]

Lucy knows nothing about bird care,not to mention care for the infamous hard-to-bond M2s.She is a female so she'll have the time of the month and she also has a noise-intolerant neighbour ( I know bc she told me and that guy was quarreling with another neighbour because their 2 year old was too noisy ) .

I can understand that you would be concerned about someone who has no bird experience wanting one of the most demanding and needy birds that one can find. However, I'm not sure that being female of child bearing age should count against Lucy. Indeed, she may be picking up on your "you are too young and a girl" tone and feel like she has something to prove. Instead, take a look at your own motives. Do you care about John enough that you would help and support her without being condescending, as she navigates this new space? Would you be willing to tell her, in all honesty and with sincerity that "I see you have your heart set on Johnson, and I know from experience that cockatoos can be full of surprises. Please know that if you have a question or concern, I'm happy to help." without being a know-it-all? She may in fact have some knowledge that you don't know about, or a willingness to join AA and learn on her own.

The worse possible thing you could do right now is alienate someone who will most certainly need your help in the coming weeks, and all because you feel superior in knowledge, gender and committment to your own flock.

 

[PufF]

I would,but,if you looked at the first post(or if I hadn't mentioned) the only thing she told me about Johnson was how pretty he looked,nothing about how small and bare his cage was,his aggression and biting ( which,as I mentioned,will get worse in that time of the month ) and how she could CARE FOR HIM!(anyone who has done even A BIT,A BIT OF TOO' RESEARCH will know that that is not a good living condition for a Too',don't even bother a M2! Also she told me that,despite my frusration,she would not let Johnson out because I told her about the 'that time of the month' issues.
I actually regret telling her all that because though I made her scared,she still adopted him and if I hadn't made her scared,maybe she'll let Johnson out even!
None on THAT! This,would be what I'll call impulse buying,aka 'Buying Because You Can' .Do keep in mind that she is actually a cat person who owns a tabby now and sure she would restrict her beloved cat's running place! Sure she would!!!(no she won't.I asked and I forgot to mention that )
I can't actually say that she has no bird experience,she did own a budgie pair before for 2 years before rehoming them because of the 'I have no time excuse' but that was 8 years ago.We were childhood friends so I do know her,in a somewhat way,and Johnson is not her bird.
I might go to her house to check Johnson out later and hope he's alright.Sometimes I hope that she could change...

 

[MommyBird]

.She is a female so she'll have the time of the month

Also she told me that,despite my frusration,she would not let Johnson out because I told her about the 'that time of the month' issues.
I actually regret telling her all that because though I made her scared,she still adopted him and if I hadn't made her scared,maybe she'll let Johnson out even!

I wonder what problems a woman's period might cause with a cockatoo? This is nothing I've ever heard about. Is the bird supposed to become aggressive to the woman?
I think you are passing along a myth here.

 

[finchly]

I wonder what problems a woman's period might cause with a cockatoo? This is nothing I've ever heard about. Is the bird supposed to become aggressive to the woman?
I think you are passing along a myth here.

Goodness now half the board has to stop letting their bird out one week out of the month!