The worst email I've ever been sent.

[hrafn]

Y'all so I JUST found out who sent this to me!!!
And it sure wasn't anyone connected to the old owners.

IT WAS MY F R I E N D.

She just fessed up to it out of nowhere, because it was weighing heavily on her conscience and she needed to get it off her chest. I'm gabberflasted.

I guess she got swept up in the already existent drama surrounding me taking in Taco, and wanted to make his past seem more tragic to make me look more heroic. Or that's how she explained it anyway. I don't want to screenshot our conversation out of respect for her, but lemme tell ya, it's a roller coaster ride of a confession.

I don't actually know how I didn't immediately realise it was her (this isn't the first time), or at the very least that it was a crock of baloney, but that at least answers one mystery.

I mean, I do still know that Taco wasn't treated very well, because I saw his condition and environment with my own eyes, but good lord.

Why do I have the WEIRDEST friends in the world?

 

[Sarahmoluccan]

That is very weird!! I have weird friends too thou so I kind of get it

 

[Zara]

That is some seriously fluffed up stuff your friend wrote.
She should have just stuck to telling you what a great person you are for taking in this bird, not writing the most vile things which obviously upset you.
I would struggle writing those words even if they were true.... and you friend pulled it out of thin air. It´s a bit messed up.... borderline evil.
And not tell you for 10 months.... it´s just a bit much.

It is your friend and you can do as you please, If a ¨friend¨ did that to me, I would lose it. But we all handle things in our own way.

You are a nice kind person,
I hope you are ok

 

[finchly]

@hrafn Honey. That is no friend. Ditch her for your own peace of mind.

 

[Shezbug]

Omg!!!
I sure hope this is not the same friend that was selling your pets for you??

Oh dear, with friends like that who needs enemies???

As @Sarahmoluccan said.... I have weird friends also- but, I don’t think any of them would do something that hurtful.
Surely she knew how much it would distress you!?

 

[iamwhoiam]

That's seriously weird and not something that a friend should have done.

 

[hrafn]

Omg!!!
I sure hope this is not the same friend that was selling your pets for you??

Oh dear, with friends like that who needs enemies???

As @Sarahmoluccan said.... I have weird friends also- but, I don’t think any of them would do something that hurtful.
Surely she knew how much it would distress you!?

NOOOOO, I threw that woman to the curb. She wasn't really my friend so much as a weird acquaintance. This girl is my actual friend, who I've known since elementary. I know that in her heart she meant no harm at all, and was trying to make me...I don't know, feel better about saving Taco? Though she definitely made me sick to my stomach, which she realised when I told her about the email way back when. She didn't want to confess when the emotions were still raw, I guess.

She fibs a lot, but generally she is a very sweet person. I won't cut off our friendship so long as she doesn't do it again, and she seems to have learnt her lesson.

I really do seem to draw the weirdos from the woodwork, though. Maybe because I'm also weird? lol

 

[rocky'smom]

Sorry honey that ain't no friend, that is enemy. Whether you have been friends forever or not, she needs a come uppants with the reminder that she is no longer welcome in your home or your life. To write that sick $#*| to make you so upset .
You are Taco's forever mom and his hero. She is nothing but a pita.

 

[Beasley]

This sounds like a variant of Münchausen syndrome by proxy: lies a lot, comes across as very sweet, falsifying malady/abuse to “make you look better” as the rescuer. Be very careful with this woman. And I definitely would not let her anywhere near your animals no matter how closely you feel you could supervise her. Because you are familiar with her, it’s worth at least looking MSBP up (actual medical sources only) to see if any of it is familiar to you based on your experiences with her. Consider your history, what does she lie about? Does she seem addicted to chaos? Or to heroism? This is not a weird behavior this is a pathological behavior and one that is potentially extremely dangerous.

 

[finchly]

This is not a weird behavior this is a pathological behavior and one that is potentially extremely dangerous.

Pathological was the first word that came to my mind, too. This goes way beyond fibbing, in my book.

And it doesn't matter how long you have known her. People change, and people develop mental illnesses as they get older. I'm sorry to keep harping on it, @hrafn, I know you said you wanted to remain friends with her and I tried to respect that but -- it's not healthy for you. I 'broke up' with one of my girlfriends who I'd known since we were 5. It hurt a LOT. Still does. But at age 40+ she had started down a road that just wasn't us or the way we were raised, and it got to a point where I had to disassociate myself from her. It's still painful, and I know it is to her too. But you have to save yourself.

 

[tka]

That is sick. I'd have a really hard time trusting someone again after that, regardless of how long we had been friends.

 

[hrafn]

One thing I definitely didn't like was that she tried to blame it on the fact that she has Bipolar disorder type 3. I have Bipolar type 1, which is supposedly more intense, and have never done anything like that to her, or to anyone, so that definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

This sounds like a variant of Münchausen syndrome by proxy: lies a lot, comes across as very sweet, falsifying malady/abuse to “make you look better” as the rescuer. Be very careful with this woman. And I definitely would not let her anywhere near your animals no matter how closely you feel you could supervise her. Because you are familiar with her, it’s worth at least looking MSBP up (actual medical sources only) to see if any of it is familiar to you based on your experiences with her. Consider your history, what does she lie about? Does she seem addicted to chaos? Or to heroism? This is not a weird behavior this is a pathological behavior and one that is potentially extremely dangerous.

I thought MSBP was about faking the suffering of your kids? That does sound quite a bit like her though.

 

[d_msparkles]

This is so incredibly weird.
I’m glad it was made up because the original post just showed up in the “new” section for me and I read it again and it made me so sick and sad. So it wouldn’t hurt for her to maybe apologize here as well. Kidding... sort of...

 

[d_msparkles]

Also, you probably are a very nice good-hearted person and that is why you attract weirdos.

 

[Tazlima]

I don't actually know how I didn't immediately realise it was her (this isn't the first time)...

Why do I have the WEIRDEST friends in the world?

+1 to the other posters. This is beyond simply being "weird," and the fact that it isn't the first time she's done something like this...

...your friend needs help. This isn't normal and it isn't healthy. "Weird" implies something strange but relatively harmless. This was harmful.

It harmed you, mentally and emotionally, to believe, or even half-believe, that your dear little bird had been subjected to the atrocities she described.

It was potentially very harmful to the family she lied about. How would you feel if someone claimed YOU had done the things in the letter? I'd be devastated to discover people believed something like that about me. And if they did believe it, and they reported it, and my birds were taken away as a result? My fids are my family.

Have you talked to her about seeing a psychiatrist?

 

[Beasley]

One thing I definitely didn't like was that she tried to blame it on the fact that she has Bipolar disorder type 3.

No, I would not relate any of the described behavior to bipolar disorder.

I thought MSBP was about faking the suffering of your kids? That does sound quite a bit like her though.

That is the most recognized form of MSBP, but the victims do not have to be their children/ animals. Animals are particularly vulnerable because they don’t have to be manipulated into keeping up the lie. In this instance (without proper clinical psychological evaluation) it appears she manipulated you and likely received gratification from herself and others consoling and validating you as the “hero”. The frightening part about this type of abuser is that they know exactly what they are doing. This may well have been a test run using you, which both worked and received the desired results.

 

[hrafn]

. No, I would not relate any of the described behavior to bipolar disorder.

That is the most recognized form of MSBP, but the victims do not have to be their children/ animals. Animals are particularly vulnerable because they don’t have to manipulated into keeping up the lie. In this instance (without proper clinical psychological evaluation) it appears she manipulated you and likely received gratification from herself and others consoling and validating you as the “hero”. The frightening part about this type of abuser is that they know exactly what they are doing. This may well have been a test run using you, which both worked and received the desired results.

Wow, just the thought of that is super violating. I just really cannot comprehend how she could do that, and take enjoyment out of making me cry and practically have a panic attack. I love Taco with all of my heart, with everything in me, and just the idea of the things she said he went through...they're beyond painful. His people were pretty awful, but even they don't deserve being thought of as THAT evil.

 

[Beasley]

Wow, just the thought of that is super violating. I just really cannot comprehend how she could do that, and take enjoyment out of making me cry and practically have a panic attack. I love Taco with all of my heart, with everything in me, and just the idea of the things she said he went through...they're beyond painful. His people were pretty awful, but even they don't deserve being thought of as THAT evil.

It is violating and beyond comprehension. If it is a variant of MSBP, your suffering would be irrelevant because you got all the rewards! The attention, the validation! She made you the hero! It’s almost as if she were helping you! - terrifying. I was struggling with why she would reveal herself to you but I think I see it. Because she chose you as her stand-in, she was by design not in complete control of the situation. She made up the writer, and you weren’t letting it go. If you had called the police, things would have spiraled and she would have lost all control, by ending it she regained the feeling of control but you are now a variable. I wonder how she’s treating you now, because a variable to an abuser is a threat.

 

[hrafn]

It is violating and beyond comprehension. If it is a variant of MSBP, your suffering would be irrelevant because you got all the rewards! The attention, the validation! She made you the hero! It’s almost as if she were helping you! - terrifying. I was struggling with why she would reveal herself to you but I think I see it. Because she chose you as her stand-in, she was by design not in complete control of the situation. She made up the writer, and you weren’t letting it go. If you had called the police, things would have spiraled and she would have lost all control, by ending it she regained the feeling of control but you are now a variable. I wonder how she’s treating you now, because a variable to an abuser is a threat.

She actually hasn't spoken to me since she confessed. She didn't even respond when I answered her, even though I could see that she was still online. I thought she was just anxious but...

 

[Beasley]

I know you love Taco and I am so sorry this happened to you and your family. It’s not okay by any means and you have every right to be upset.