Grey_Moon
Meeting neighbors
*sighs*
It's been a rough week for my girl and I.
Jacko collapsed Monday night for unknown reasons and just returned home from the vet yesterday after being touch and go for a few days and spending a couple nights in ICU with oxygen.
Her heart appears to be failing.
She collapsed Monday because her lungs suddenly filled with fluid and she couldn't breoathe. As much as I know it is unlikely that it 'came out of nowhere' because birds hide illnesses I am normally so, so attuned to Jacko it scares me I missed it.
I *never* want to see her like that again....flopped over and on her side, struggling to breathe.
Xrays revealed a slightly enlarged heart and with her atherosclerosis history both the vet and I knew what we were likely looking at.
She's home now, on furosemide and enalapril, and even if it's just for a little while she's back to doing all the things she likes to do.
She has a heart ultrasound scheduled tomorrow (Monday) for her final, official diagnosis but regardless of the results things don't look very good for my girl. The vet feels right now that her survival time is about 6-24 months.
We were supposed to spend decades together and now because she lived in a horrible home with abusive smokers who fed her steak before she came to me she's going to die before she reaches 25...probably before 20. She's only 18 years old. I've done everything and tried so hard for 13 years to give her the healthiest, best life...but..it wasn't enough to undo the damage from her early years.
I'm so mad and heartbroken. She doesn't deserve this.
I love her so much and I'm stuck somewhere between being happy she survived after collapsing and consumed with grief and anxiety that she'll never be healthy again and this is really only extra time to say goodbye. I mean, she might not even make 6 months and I'm trying to cherish every minute but the pain is overwhelming and sometimes all I can do is cry.
I keep hoping for miracles/non-terminal results tomorrow and maybe we can do something and she can live longer...but I don't think I can stand getting my hopes crushed like that so I'm trying to be realistic.
But that leaves me with that horrible countdown/ticking time bomb.
It's been a rough week for my girl and I.
Jacko collapsed Monday night for unknown reasons and just returned home from the vet yesterday after being touch and go for a few days and spending a couple nights in ICU with oxygen.
Her heart appears to be failing.
She collapsed Monday because her lungs suddenly filled with fluid and she couldn't breoathe. As much as I know it is unlikely that it 'came out of nowhere' because birds hide illnesses I am normally so, so attuned to Jacko it scares me I missed it.
I *never* want to see her like that again....flopped over and on her side, struggling to breathe.
Xrays revealed a slightly enlarged heart and with her atherosclerosis history both the vet and I knew what we were likely looking at.
She's home now, on furosemide and enalapril, and even if it's just for a little while she's back to doing all the things she likes to do.
She has a heart ultrasound scheduled tomorrow (Monday) for her final, official diagnosis but regardless of the results things don't look very good for my girl. The vet feels right now that her survival time is about 6-24 months.
We were supposed to spend decades together and now because she lived in a horrible home with abusive smokers who fed her steak before she came to me she's going to die before she reaches 25...probably before 20. She's only 18 years old. I've done everything and tried so hard for 13 years to give her the healthiest, best life...but..it wasn't enough to undo the damage from her early years.
I'm so mad and heartbroken. She doesn't deserve this.
I love her so much and I'm stuck somewhere between being happy she survived after collapsing and consumed with grief and anxiety that she'll never be healthy again and this is really only extra time to say goodbye. I mean, she might not even make 6 months and I'm trying to cherish every minute but the pain is overwhelming and sometimes all I can do is cry.
I keep hoping for miracles/non-terminal results tomorrow and maybe we can do something and she can live longer...but I don't think I can stand getting my hopes crushed like that so I'm trying to be realistic.
But that leaves me with that horrible countdown/ticking time bomb.