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Sweet female Goffin needs a new, loving home

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Mockinbirdiva

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One thing for sure Karen, they will never be consistent with behavior and will go through changes daily, weekly or monthly. They may be even keeled in temperament for a year and more and then have some changes in behavior. I think that can hold true for many species of birds. I certainly never thought I'd ever be able to touch Henry again after he matured and became so aggressive towards me. That lasted for five years from the most extreme aggression to flying at me in full on attacks to being very indifferent towards me and still yet threats. He's been in a different "zone" for almost two years now. He nicely takes his wood blocks and wood chews from me, doesn't mind my business around his cage as I wipe his top pan and takes direction from me to move from one outside perch on his door to the perch over his door so I can place his evening meal. He's only inches from me ... it could go horribly wrong as you well know. His food is everything but his manners suggest patience so I am ever watchful. What I can't get used to is when he drops that wood and wants me to scratch his head every evening before I'm done with his cage and before he gets that food. I can't STAND having him sit over me supervising my every move while he waits for me to scratch his head. If I could redirect his attention to go back to chewing his wood I'd be happy knowing he's busy but at the moment he's pretty insistent on getting his itchy head scratched which I always oblige to maintain a relationship with him... as long as he's making happy grumbles and his eyes are closed. If he opens his eyes and watches me while my hand is on his head I quit and call it a day.

My point in sharing about the changes in Henry is that they do go through changes from good to bad back to good and so on. I see your confusion about what to do because the opportunity for injury to Luv Bug is at risk, even with diligence things happen quickly. Puffin may be more dominant than Luv Bug and is establishing her territory. I see it with my two female crimson bellies and they've known each other their whole nine years of life here. Ruby is dominant... always has been. Scarlette knows to back off and move far away from Ruby and this whole interaction is the number one reason Scarlette is a timid girl. This is never going to change for these two and may never change for your two Too's. If you are comfortable giving it some time and testing the waters with taking turns and seeing that Puffin can be made content locked in while Luv Bug is out. I'd reserve some special toys or food for that time for Puffin so that she's occupied and doesn't care if she's locked up during that time. You know what is best for them both and we all support you no matter what decision you make. Big hugs for all of you!
 

Shezbug

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I am so sorry this happened and you have to rehome Puffin. I hope Luv Bug is alright and I hope you can find a loving home for Puffin. Big hugs for you :sadhug2::sadhug2::sadhug2:
 

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So sorry you guys are having to consider this. What ever you two end up deciding we are here for you! Big hugs Karen!! :sadhug2:
 

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If you decide to keep her remember that mine did go from wanted to kill each other to becoming great freinds. And for them to be freinds is also up to you.
When my girls start to fight I go between them and demanding them to back off. Yes it can be that I must take a bite, but they need rules and also knowing that I am the one in charge.
And for encourage them every time they where nice to each other has also helped a lot.
When they fight because they are jealous correct yourself, because with right behavior they have nothing to fight about.
 

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Oh Karen, I'm so very sorry. I can imagine that the indecision would be killing me in this terrible dilemma and that is torture. I'm not sure what to hope for, other than the situation turn around, and if not, you will find a home for Puffin that you will feel more than comfortable with! Huge hugs in the meantime, and I'll be thinking of you and this situation, and hoping for the best. :sadhug2:
 

Lady Jane

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So stressful for everyone. I think if your husband gives the situation more time for everyone to adjust to the newness and keep a close eye on the birds things may just calm down. You know how we care always telling others to have patience?
 

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Right now I think we're in a holding pattern. Hubby texted me yesterday at work telling me to take down the post. I was excited, but afraid to get my hopes up without an explanation for his change of heart. When I asked him he said he didn't want to do that to me (to make me cry). I told him I was partly crying because I didn't want to rehome Puffin, but also because I know it's possible it might be better for her. I don't want to keep her solely based on my emotions if she would be happier as an only bird or if her real person is out there; that would be selfish of me and wrong. It's hard to keep a clear head when your heart keeps getting in the way. :sad9:

I was off from work today so we had both girls out successfully until I let my guard down and took Buzzard into our room for our one-on-one time. I heard a quick squawk from Luv Bug and nothing else. Hubby said Puffin had jumped at Luv Bug again but again no one was hurt and hubby seemed calmer about it this time. He was still mad of course, but he handled it well. It was my fault because I left him to watch both of them. Then tonight as I was feeding the birds before dinner, Luv Bug flew onto Puffin's cage top to her bowl. I received the bite intended for Bug & while it was understandable it took a chunk out of my finger. I don't care about me (between the dogs, the birds and life in general I'm always healing from something) but that bite could have really hurt Luv Bug if Puffin's beak had gotten through the feathers. :(

I'm hoping today going mostly well means we can work out trying to keep her, but I still have that fear that if we do something horrible might happen eventually. It would be hard to let her go the way things feel right now, but I hesitate to close the thread prematurely. I think if the right, well-trusted member could give her what she needs then we would consider them. Then again, few of our members can offer an only-bird home :shrug2: but maybe someone here can give her a better home then we can. I'm still confused and keep waiting for @JLcribber to come post some sense into me and give us the good shaking I feel we need and the dose of reality we already know.


Reading y'all's posts has really helped us. There are a lot of possibilities we hadn't considered. I think it may be a combination of those things coupled with the fact that she's still new here and figuring out her place in our family. The only thing that keeps haunting me are the thoughts that I might be keeping her from being happy or that lurking fear that one day she will attack Luv Bug and do serious harm.
 
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Shezbug

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This must be such a stressful time for you, I am so sorry it has been rough. We all know you will not take this decision lightly and you will do what is best for all people and birds involved. I wish there was an easy answer/solution for you with this one. :hug8:
 

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Oh no I missed this!!:sadhug2: Lots of hugs and good thoughts your way to make the right decision:)
You know, Henkie and Fëanor sleep cuddled up in a seagrass tunnel every night now, preening Each other to sleep, but still during the day they chase Each other away a few times. Nothing serious, but they do. Maybe Puffin just needs to learn to be gentler? Henkie and Fëanor had a few squabbles at first, like ‘beak fighting’ but never actually touching Each other, more displaying. When they grew closer they got to know Each other better and I guess they worked communication out. Now if occasionally Henkie of Fea wants something for himself they just Lunge with an open beak and the other backs off. Seconds later they are feeding each other again. I hope Puffin and Bug can work something out too, or for Puffin’s special person to come along:hug8:
 

Mizzely

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Just catching up. I'm so sorry you are in this position and I wish I had the answers. I've dealt with my fair share of this stuff too and it's never easy. Gizmo and Koopa could not be out together at all, and then my rat Parker was bullying everyone and biting ...

You either figure it out and make it work, or you understand that it's beyond you. Neither is wrong. Both are done in the best interest of everyone. It's stressful being in ther middle of it all and that stress makes it even harder to know what is what. Even looking at the situation logically vs emotionally there is no right answer!

I know whatever you decide will be because you are kind and loving and strong. :heart:
 

Ankou

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:sadhug2:
I'm so sorry to hear you and you're flock are going through this. I hope you are able to find a solution (be it management or a new home) that you are at peace with. Good luck, it must be so taxing to try and work this out. I hope things improve soon.
 

Begone

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Maybe Puffin just needs to learn to be gentler? H
I think that she needs a lot of things. But first to feel safe and loved. (And that is both from her human and bird flock) And from that being a loving bird herself that can adjust from what her family need.
I'm sure that at the moment she is really confused and don't know how to behave.
She needs someone to guide her in the right direction and that someone should never be mad at her no matter what she is doing.
Love, love, love and love combined with patience and to always be consistent is the key.
 

Begone

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I don't want to keep her solely based on my emotions if she would be happier as an only bird or if her real person is out there; that would be selfish of me and wrong. It's hard to keep a clear head when your heart keeps getting in the way. :sad9:
You have such an big and unselfish heart. Be proud of that! ♡ ♡ ♡
That's why I think that Puffin belongs to you.
You will always listen to her and give her what she needs.
I don't believe that she will be happier in another home without other birds to interact or talk too.
 

sunnysmom

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I feel for you. Right now, I have to keep Elvis and the fiancé away from each other. :banghead: It's hard. And similar to your situation, they will get along- and then they won't. Elvis will be sweet as pie to Howie and then bite him. As he did this Sunday and bit his ear semi-badly. I still don't think Elvis is being "aggressive". It's almost more of a game. But sorry- I'm getting off subject. But basically, I can't let Elvis out around Howie. And it makes me sad because that wasn't the idea of "us" getting a bird. And it can be stressful because I'm the one that runs in between them all the time and tries to make them both happy. I think for awhile, you may have to try to keep the two of them apart until you can try to figure out if this is a temporary thing or not. It is hard. I don't think I would be even thinking about rehoming or not right now. It's too new and it's hard to think clearly when you're caught up in the stress of the moment. I think you try alternatives for now and see if they're manageable or not. And I think we all understand how tough these things can be. Hugs.
 

faislaq

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Maybe Puffin just needs to learn to be gentler?
Definitely, but how? :shrug3: When she starts nipping firmly with me, I know she wants to be petted less or to leave her pins alone. I get a warning and a chance to back off, but she jumps on Luv Bug without warning, Luv Bug doesn't get that chance. :shakehead:

first to feel safe and loved. (And that is both from her human and bird flock) And from that being a loving bird herself that can adjust from what her family need.
I'm sure that at the moment she is really confused and don't know how to behave.
She needs someone to guide her in the right direction and that someone should never be mad at her no matter what she is doing.
Love, love, love and love combined with patience and to always be consistent is the key.
We are trying to show her love, and with the exception of her attacking Luv Bug, we are succeeding. We love her even then, but we are very frustrated too. We can see the progress she is making in trusting us, though small steps they are very noticeable when compared to how she was when she first came to us. I know she is still learning us as much as we are learning her, but I keep thinking about the stories other members have had of one of their birds being harmed by another and it scares me. I don't want that for either of them; to be attached or feel they are in a position that they need to attack. :sad11:

That's why I think that Puffin belongs to you. You will always listen to her and give her what she needs. I don't believe that she will be happier in another home without other birds to interact or talk to.
We are trying to listen to her. She is still reluctant to step up which surprised us because she stepped up without hesitation at her old home, but resisted and tried to bite since she's been here. Because that hasn't changed, we think that not stepping up may not have been an option at her old home and that here, she has learned that she has the choice. I know hearing other birds can be beneficial, but I worry that ours might be stressing her out. I'm afraid of making the wrong decision for her.
 

iamwhoiam

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You have such an big and unselfish heart. Be proud of that! ♡ ♡ ♡
That's why I think that Puffin belongs to you.
You will always listen to her and give her what she needs.
I don't believe that she will be happier in another home without other birds to interact or talk too.

I agree with Eloy. She hasn't been with you that long. She is testing the waters with what she can do and she is also protecting herself. She could also be jealous of Luv Bug. It's not always easy to figure out why birds do certain things. Reward her when she is being good. Use treats and verbal praise. I'm very much hoping that in time things will get better.
 

faislaq

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I think for awhile, you may have to try to keep the two of them apart until you can try to figure out if this is a temporary thing or not. It is hard. I don't think I would be even thinking about rehoming or not right now. It's too new and it's hard to think clearly when you're caught up in the stress of the moment. I think you try alternatives for now and see if they're manageable or not. And I think we all understand how tough these things can be. Hugs.
I think y'all're right about her being too new to tell. I pray she doesn't settle in and then still have to be rehomed because then it will be even worse; harder on her and us. I will talk with hubby when I get home tonight and see where he is on this.

Thank you everyone for your responses. Hubby and I read through the new ones together every night.

When they fight because they are jealous correct yourself, because with right behavior they have nothing to fight about.
She hasn't been with you that long. She is testing the waters with what she can do and she is also protecting herself. She could also be jealous of Luv Bug. It's not always easy to figure out why birds do certain things. Reward her when she is being good. Use treats and verbal praise.I'm very much hoping that in time things will get better.
Hubby agreed right away with the jealousy part and I hate to say it hadn't even occurred to me because I thought she was just wanting space. :banghead: I feel kinda stupid for not seeing it. It's different being on this side, things are less clear to me than they should be. We do give her lots of praise and scritches and kisses when she's good. I hope it's enough and soon enough. :fingerscrossed:
 
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