He started yelling at her so hard and loud that the people OUTSIDE THE WINDOWS were looking in. Everyone stared. A lady asked my daughter "do you want me to call 911?" She should've said yes! Instead she got up, went outside, got a cab and went to her hotel.
I’m glad someone said something to her, that is one of those things a child (of any age) never forgets. I’m impressed that she had the inner strength and composure to get up and leave!
I bet you have everything to do with that. I think it was in the Lucy attacked Angel thread, someone recently mentioned their daughter scalded herself with hot tea, one of my most traumatic foundational memories is of a similar incident except involving my sister at a restaurant. I was so little, always under weight and size...we were in a booth and I was on the outside, to get to her my dad leapt up grabbed me by the hair on the top of my head and flung me backwards into a wall directly across the path of a busboy, I remember looking into his eyes, both of us in shock. My dad was screaming at him and he snapped out of it, stepped over me and attended to my family. Everyone else who came to help ignored me too, they all understood - not that one on the floor, I didn’t matter. And none of my family members remember this, their experience is all about my sister.
I admit I am struggling a lot with my mom now that she is older. She always yelled at me, even as an adult I was ridiculed for everything, my choice of being a musician, my love of animals, having horses, being too strict on my kids. Etc etc. Now she really misses me and wants my help... and she has turned into a sweet person
but to me there's a lot of history there. I tried to talk about it once and she said, "don't you remember how we took care of your kids for you and helped you?"
I thought the same about my mom, I won’t again. The emotional costs are too high and I can’t afford to let either of them close. My mom likes to talk about how great my childhood was, I call it “The Beautiful Lie”. I won’t even try to talk to them about it, there’s no point. I am a canvas of scars they created and still they refuse to see me.
And she said the funny thing is, they never talked bad about dad - it was all you.
what a heartbreaking memory to have of your mom’s parents! I can’t say I would expect any less of my own, and I am sure that is among the many reasons that I don’t even know my maternal grandmother’s name. These people wonder why I’m in my 30s, unmarried with no children...family is what made me, and I wouldn’t wish this on a soul. Now my animals (which my mom also ridicules me for) that’s a family I would live and die for! What’s the saying? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will leave me with emotional scars from which I will never recover?
I bring stuff though!
