Parrotlets advice, one of my pair passed away

[Sandylou89]

Hi there,

I hope everyone is well, well I need some advice as one of my birds passed away yesterday, Sidney. Unfortunately he came as a pair with his mate Beryl and they have never been apart and I'm worried about her today, she witnessed his passing and got to say goodbye, however these two were inseparable, the terrible two I used to call them, always up to mischief but she didn't settle to sleep last night unti gone 8 which is late for her, which I expected and she choose not to sleep o. Their usual swing, I didn't restrict theses two to their cage they stayed in their corner of the room, but Beryl today since 6 has been calling for sid and keeps flying over my head reapeatedly, usually she will climb on our hands but I can't even do that today, just keeps going around and round occasionally flying onto my head and off again (which she hasn't done since we first got them, I figured it's a "dominant thing) she's barley had any food and I'm not sure what to do, I know it's soon but I wondered should I get her a new mate, will she cope alone? And should I wait I can't. Are to see her like this she's definitely not herself and I don't expect her to be but argh! Please advise

 

[sunnysmom]

I'm sorry for your loss. Was your other bird sick? A vet check may be needed for Beryl if so. Birds need time to mourn like humans do. Try to just spend extra time with her for now. It sounds like another bird would be good for her, but keep in mind there's never a guarantee that 2 birds will be friends. So a separate cage may be needed and new birds should be quarantined before introduced to another.

 

[Lady Jane]

Being that your birds were a bonded, close pair this loss may hit her hard. A new bird now may turn her grief into anger at the new bird. I would wait at least 6 months or so before a new bird enters you life. Just watch her closely and give her extra TLC and treats and your one on one attention.

 

[Fergus Mom]

Just wanted to say welcome, and that I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Sandylou89]

Thank you everyone and thank you for your advice, I was completely distraught yesterday Sid liturally died in my other halfs arms, and Beryl was with him, I'm very fearful today but I am more sad for Beryl, we will try and get her to a vet as soon as possible especially now, I have no idea what caused his death but he was bad for a couple of days last week where I thought... he's not himself and panicked and we decided to keep an eye on him but he perked up and was back to normal until yesterday and I knew it was too late by the state he was all of a sudden in, I wish I took him to the vet as soon as I noticed he wasn't himself.

Thank you for your advice I will obviously keep a close eye on beryl and I took the day off today to be with her but I'm worried when I go to work tommorow I guess I'll just have to see how she goes xxx

 

[Lady Jane]

We truly appreciate your feedback.

 

[Sandylou89]

Hey, Beryl hasn't touched her food today has anyone experienced this or know what I can do, she just about had a tiny by of millet from me only when I hand fed her but she has not touched her veggies or her food mix, she hasn't been in her her cage just stayed on her ladder I had up, she is hessitating to come near me know and she's not even on the swing she shared with Sid, this is breaking me apart and I don't know what to do.

 

[NirAntae]

*hugs* I'm so sorry, for you and for poor Beryl.

Birds definitely grieve, even if they don't necessarily understand why the other birds is no longer there.

If she would eat millet from your hand, take the time to sit and feed her bit by tiny bit. Offer all her favorites, even if they are 'candy' things like sunflowers. It's unwise long term, but for a few days after something like this it's better than just not eating. I survived on soup and ice cream for the first couple of weeks after my grandmother passed, aside from the occasional steak my spouse plopped down in front of me XD I couldn't be bothered to feed myself for the most part. She is probably in a similar sort of state. So take the mental pressure of finding the interest and then finding the foods off her, and plop her favorite foods right there ready for her beak, one at a time, by hand.

When my Grey mourned her missing GCC buddy, it took about 3-4 weeks to be fully back to normal, so don't be surprised if you don't see a lot of immediate improvement.

 

[JLcribber]

If she was truly bonded to the other bird then you need to get another bird. Not in 6 months but fairly quickly. Try to find one with similar physical characteristics. I guarantee they will be buddies in no time.

 

[iamwhoiam]

So sorry for your loss.
Another bird may or may not get along with Beryl and vice versa but might still be nice to get another so Beryl can at least see and hear another bird. Birds do go through a period of grieving just like we do. May or may not be a good idea to get another bird quickly, just depends on the bird and what your gut is telling you.
Good idea to spend more time with Beryl. Eat meals with and/or next to her. Read to her, sing to her, etc.

 

[Begone]

Hey, Beryl hasn't touched her food today has anyone experienced this or know what I can do, she just about had a tiny by of millet from me only when I hand fed her but she has not touched her veggies or her food mix, she hasn't been in her her cage just stayed on her ladder I had up, she is hessitating to come near me know and she's not even on the swing she shared with Sid, this is breaking me apart and I don't know what to do.

When Eloy died I have Akela here that was showing me all her pain of the loss of him.
Every time I saw here flying around and screaming for him I could feel her pain. We both missed him so much and I couldn't put up with seeing her like this.
I got the advice here to wait and don't do something hasty, but I couldn't. I needed to do something for her. (and me)
So the day after I was getting Eliy, a rescue that really needed a new home.
But Akela wasn't happy at all. She tried to kill Eliy the first two or three weeks here. But Eliy was a girl not a boy that she needed.
But do I regret it?
No!
For us that was the right thing to do. And I would do it again, and again, and again.
Akela needed something else to think about and so did I. And Akela was starting to eat when Eliy arrived here.

My advice. Get a new male ASAP. And same age.

just keeps going around and round occasionally flying onto my head and off again (which she hasn't done since we first got them, I figured it's a "dominant thing)

No it's not a dominant thing. She is wanting your attention and she is trying to tell you something, but at the same she feels lost inside and that doesn't give her peace to stay with you.
Akela did the same thing. And she also had the chance to say goodbye to Eloy but I don't think they really understand.

 

[CheckeredTail]

Personally, especially considering how parrotlets can be super territorial, I don't suggest getting a new bird, because they might just hate each other and then you have to divide your attention away from her. She probably wants your love and attention, I agree you should try to feed her a bunch of millet and "treats" for a bit, give her more time, play with her, sing to her, talk to her. She'll probably need a few weeks to get better. We all feel depressed when we lose someone we love, can't blame her for feeling sad. If she completely stops eating for multiple days, then you're probably going to want to talk with a vet. But you can probably get her eating if you give her yummy snacks until she gets back on her feet emotionally.

 

[JLcribber]

Personally, especially considering how parrotlets can be super territorial, I don't suggest getting a new bird, because they might just hate each other and then you have to divide your attention away from her.

This was not a solitary bird. It had a mate and was bonded to another bird. That is "the meaning of life" in bird world. At this point a human will never fill that role because they can't.

Not getting along with other birds happens when there is competition. This bird is now alone. Much much more fearfull.

If another bird is found with similar characteristics to the previous bird (gender, age, colouring) I'll bet 40 years of experience on them being inseparable in short order. JMO

 

[CheckeredTail]

If another bird is found with similar characteristics to the previous bird (gender, age, colouring) I'll bet 40 years of experience on them being inseparable in short order. JMO

This is specifically just my experience with parrotlets, honestly. I can't say I have 40 years, but even in the wild, parrotlets will barely tolerate being too close to each other and many of them bite toes off each other! I just think it's a riskier option than trying to help Beryl through the loss with love and care. Especially if there's not easy access to buying a new bird, there's money, there's quarantine to think about, having to spend time worrying about and acclimating the new bird means less attention to your current one, and it's always a risk that they won't get along. Birds just don't like each other sometimes, that's how it is.

 

[JLcribber]

Birds just don't like each other sometimes, that's how it is.

Yes I agree and that is the first and usual advice I give. But I have experienced "this" scenario a number of times now that all resolved themselves when the loner was able to connect again.

 

[Vera]

Parrotlets also?

 

[JLcribber]

Parrotlets also?

Parrotlets and male budgies team up pretty well. Budgies can match flight skills easily which makes things pretty even.

There is a huge difference between a human imprinted bird and a bird that was bonded to another bird. A bonded bird that loses its mate needs similar companionship to be whole again.