@Kampy I understand your confusion, the breeder is saying one thing and we are saying another. So you have to decide your way. It sounds like you've selected the gentle way
it is slower but you and your bird will be happier in the long run.
I'd had 2 parrotlets before Skittles, and knew they could be nervous if not handled well, and I really wanted a tame one (mine were very tame). So I paid a TON for him because he was "hand fed and tame". When I met the people, the lady kind of grabbed him but we were all crammed in the back of their van - very weird - and he did crawl on her and things. I took him but not on my finger, she had me cup my hands around him and when I loosened up he flew back to her. So I thought okay he's nervous, we're all nervous, it'll be okay.
He is still afraid of hands. That my friend is because she grabbed/held him. They are still all over the Internet advertising their hand tame birds and maybe some are but you can't prove it by me.
It sounds like your cage door drops downward? So you'd put a perch on the outside, over to the side - and your bird would climb out and onto it and step up from there. Am I making this all too complicated? LOL I like for mine to feel like they have a choice. Come out on your perch, and you get scritches and treats.