New Parrotlet Please Help

[Roman914]

Hi,

I am new to parrots. We have a Cockatiel that was hand raised that we got about a month ago for my son and he was good from the start with our whole family. The Cockatiel is 4 months old. Never shy, very sociable, and wants to come out and play every day. He will sit on anyone hands, shoulders, or on his perch and play. He loves to interact. Although he is my son's bird, that basically means he just sleeps in his room, he is a family bird.

About a week ago we got a Parrotlet for my daughter.

He is 3.5 months old, hand raised. We got him out of three we could have chosen because of the three he was the most docile, loved sitting on my daughters shoulder, and currently doesn't bite too hard. Our experience with him is quite the opposite of our Cockatiel though. I expected some differences, but I don't know how to properly deal with him and I don't want to create a situation where he resents us.

Basically, we try to take him out and handle him every day. Everyone in the family handles him, with the idea that he gets used to all of us, but...

-He hates coming out of the cage, and we have to grab him and basically pry him out.

-Once out, he tries to go on our shoulder and hide in our clothing or in my wife or daughters hair. Its almost harder to get him out of their hair than the cage.

-He tries to fly off our living room perch, where we have been putting him during the day so he can get used to seeing us and hearing the noises in our house. His wings are clipped though, so he goes to the floor and hides under the couch.

-He runs away from our hands.

-He wont eat anything except a bite or two of millet from our hands, and we basically force it on him.

He seems to be getting worse, which means we are doing something wrong. How do I do this the right way? Raise him to be a well socialized bird that wants to come out and spend time with our family?

I want to try training him with treats, but like I said, he barely takes them. My arm gets tired before he bites, and basically i have to touch it on his beak to the point where he bites it.

Thank you in advance for any help. His name is Rio.

 

[fashionfobie]

First and foremost STOP forcing the little guy! Every time you grab at or force Rio you are damaging the relationship.

Parrotlets are less than 30 grams, they are tiny and fragile little birds. Put yourself into the eyes of little Rio. It has been 1 week and giant humans are grabbing and forcing.. I wouldn't want to play..would you? Consider that one week ago Rio had siblings and flock mates. Now Rio is alone with these new people in a new home. It is terrifying and scary. Giant hands are reaching in and forcing him to do things.

Parrotlets are not social butterflies in the way cockatiels are. Parrotlets form tightly knit groups. They are naturally weary of strangers and in the wild they will even kill other parrotlets that intrude their homes.

If I were you I would consider the type of relationship and life you want for Rio. If you want a bird that is social with the family, I would place the cage in an shared area of the home. Live your lives with Rio as part of the activities. A living room would probably be better than an isolated bedroom. Talk to Rio, sing to Rio read books to him calmly and warmly. Don't stare at him. He needs to figure out that you are his friends. He needs to trust that you are safe.

This video is a different species, but it will be a better attitude to take. You want to build trust. You can't force this. Bird time is different than your expectations. If birds aren't suspicious and cautious they get eaten. They have a very good reason to be weary and careful.

Parrotlets are honestly not ideal for active children. They like the safety of practicability and routine. They are very curious and playful birds once they feel safe and there is trust. Don't worry about training until you have that trust. You are going to have Rio for many years, there is time.

Don't forget that a parrotlet is most closely related to an amazon parrot. You can not expect them to be cockatiels. They have different social structures and different behaviours.


Please consider the approach you are taking. We serve our birds. Our birds do not serve us.

 

[Roman914]

First and foremost STOP forcing the little guy! Every time you grab at or force Rio you are damaging the relationship.

Parrotlets are less than 30 grams, they are tiny and fragile little birds. Put yourself into the eyes of little Rio. It has been 1 week and giant humans are grabbing and forcing.. I wouldn't want to play..would you? Consider that one week ago Rio had siblings and flock mates. Now Rio is alone with these new people in a new home. It is terrifying and scary. Giant hands are reaching in and forcing him to do things.

Parrotlets are not social butterflies in the way cockatiels are. Parrotlets form tightly knit groups. They are naturally weary of strangers and in the wild they will even kill other parrotlets that intrude their homes.

If I were you I would consider the type of relationship and life you want for Rio. If you want a bird that is social with the family, I would place the cage in an shared area of the home. Live your lives with Rio as part of the activities. A living room would probably be better than an isolated bedroom. Talk to Rio, sing to Rio read books to him calmly and warmly. Don't stare at him. He needs to figure out that you are his friends. He needs to trust that you are safe.

This video is a different species, but it will be a better attitude to take. You want to build trust. You can't force this. Bird time is different than your expectations. If birds aren't suspicious and cautious they get eaten. They have a very good reason to be weary and careful.

Parrotlets are honestly not ideal for active children. They like the safety of practicability and routine. They are very curious and playful birds once they feel safe and there is trust. Don't worry about training until you have that trust. You are going to have Rio for many years, there is time.

Don't forget that a parrotlet is most closely related to an amazon parrot. You can not expect them to be cockatiels. They have different social structures and different behaviors.


Please consider the approach you are taking. We serve our birds. Our birds do not serve us.

Thank you for your response. Yes, I figures I was damaging the relationship by grabbing him based on his body language. My wife and I spoke last night and agreed not to take him out anymore at this time.

Maybe my expectations were unrealistic. We specifically told the woman at the bird store what our intentions for him were in being a family bird that would be able to be handled by all of us, and that our cockatiel is a family bird and we explained his behavior. She was the one that told us to make sure that we all handle him as much as possible, and he would get used to us and he would come around. She said she owns a parrotlet right now.

I spoke to the receptionist at the vet and explained to her our intentions too and she stated that a parrotlet would be perfect for us. She stated that she used to own a parrotlet and owns multiple birds right now.

I am not refuting what you are saying, but rather explaining how we got down the path we are on in terms of trying to socialize him.

We can put his cage in a the living room temporarily, but it cant be permanent, and eventually the cage will have to go into my daughters room. We have a perch in our living room, which is why I was putting him on it any time we are home. Basically, if we are home, the birds are out. The picture I attached is him on the perch as we go about our business, you can see one of our kids coloring in the backgroud, and I was vacuuming when I stopped to take a photo. We were just trying to get him used to the busy nature of our home.

From what you are saying, maybe I should reconsider weather this bird is the right fit for our family. I get your statement, its not about him fitting in to us but us fitting into him. Also, that parrotlets are not ideal for active children. This is different from what others have told me, but I do not doubt it based on what I am seeing. I figured he would grow to bond with us and treasure our little girl as she grows (she already loves him very much).

But that being said, if a family dynamic such as ours is stressful and unnatural for him, I will reconsider weather I should take him back. The last thing I want to do is cause him suffering at the cost of us trying to get him to fit in to our expectations. My daughter will be heart broken, but maybe we will take him back and look at another cockatiel.

Thank you for your advice.

 

[sunnysmom]

Yes, please stop grabbing him and forcing him to come out of his cage. And he probably runs away from your hands because he thinks you are going to grab him. You need to work on rebuilding that trust. Also, let him come out on his own. One way to entice him is to put a perch just outside the cage door and hang a favorite treat or toy. You can also try hand feeding him treats to show that hands aren't scary. And as @fashionfobie said, cockatiels and parrotlets have completely different personalities. Tiels are really laid back birds. Parrotlets are little birds with a big bird personality. I fostered a parrotlet not long ago. He didn't like to be held at all. That doesn't mean he didn't like company and didn't enjoy hanging out. He would land on me when he wanted to but no scratches. He was just an independent little bird. And how old is your daughter? I don't think parrotlets are necessarily a good pet for young children. But that doesn't mean he can't be a great addition to your family. He's just not going to act like your cockatiel and you shouldn't have the same expectations from him.

 

[Roman914]

Yes, please stop grabbing him and forcing him to come out of his cage. And he probably runs away from your hands because he thinks you are going to grab him. You need to work on rebuilding that trust. Also, let him come out on his own. One way to entice him is to put a perch just outside the cage door and hang a favorite treat or toy. You can also try hand feeding him treats to show that hands aren't scary. And as @fashionfobie said, cockatiels and parrotlets have completely different personalities. Tiels are really laid back birds. Parrotlets are little birds with a big bird personality. I fostered a parrotlet not long ago. He didn't like to be held at all. That doesn't mean he didn't like company and didn't enjoy hanging out. He would land on me when he wanted to but no scratches. He was just an independent little bird. And how old is your daughter? I don't think parrotlets are necessarily a good pet for young children. But that doesn't mean he can't be a great addition to your family. He's just not going to act like your cockatiel and you shouldn't have the same expectations from him.

She is six, and we monitor her any time she is with the birds.

We put Rios cage downstairs temporarily today. We left it open and he came out on his own. He loves millet so we have been using that to entice him to let us have our hands near him. He is very wary, but he did hop onto my wife's arm, and then walk to her hand to get the millet.

Im thinking maybe we do one person at a time to get him more comfortable. We will start with my wife, see if she can get him to come around a little since he seems to feel comfortable with her, and then start having the rest of us interact.

In the pet store he seemed to favor my daughter and enjoy her shoulder and being in her hair, which is why we chose him.

 

[sunnysmom]

Awww, very cute. Sounds like you're making progress already.

 

[laracroft]

It sounds like you want the best for Rio, which is great, but you've been misinformed. I have a parrotlet who I adore, but I wouldn't choose one as a pet for a young child, both because they are so small and because they can be nippy, and aren't particularly cuddly. That's not to say I don't think you can make this work, but it'll probably be more challenging than you expected. It's up to you if that's something you want to take on. From what you've said you've started doing things much better. No grabbing, as previously said. Remember that he is a tiny prey animal whose only options when threatened are to run away or bite. And it's only been a week, everything is threatening right now. Something that you can do, as well as letting him come out on his own, is to spend time with him quietly. All of you could do that, though you might have some trouble with the kids if they're rowdy. But just hang out quietly near the cage, talk or sing to him. If you read to your kids, you could do that in front of the cage. Let him get used to you. And feel free to ask any more questions as they come up.

 

[fashionfobie]

@Roman914 I think you have the right instinct. I appreciate that you questioned the advice others gave you and came looking for more positive approaches.

I think the most important thing we can do for our birds to to continuously research and improve how we are doing things

I think involving Rio in the shared area was a great first step! He will come around. They are actually a very fearless bird overall once they adjust.

They are big parrots at heart and they will not accept anything they don't want. They will bite if they aren't listened to. I would continue to use great caution with him around children. The biggest risk if he bites is that a child is more likely to react in a way that could harm the tiny bird. Pushing the bird away or even instinctively tossing the bird. It wouldn't be your child's fault to react this way in reality, but as an end result Rio could be fatally wounded. Keep observing body language and you will learn how to understand what Rio wants. Parrotlets aren't shy about communicating through body language and they will always express discomfort or displeasure before they get to a point of biting. If you listen to him it shouldn't be a problem. I am only mentioning this because it true and you need to understand why this respect based relationship is the best

 

[Roman914]

It sounds like you want the best for Rio, which is great, but you've been misinformed. I have a parrotlet who I adore, but I wouldn't choose one as a pet for a young child, both because they are so small and because they can be nippy, and aren't particularly cuddly. That's not to say I don't think you can make this work, but it'll probably be more challenging than you expected. It's up to you if that's something you want to take on. From what you've said you've started doing things much better. No grabbing, as previously said. Remember that he is a tiny prey animal whose only options when threatened are to run away or bite. And it's only been a week, everything is threatening right now. Something that you can do, as well as letting him come out on his own, is to spend time with him quietly. All of you could do that, though you might have some trouble with the kids if they're rowdy. But just hang out quietly near the cage, talk or sing to him. If you read to your kids, you could do that in front of the cage. Let him get used to you. And feel free to ask any more questions as they come up.

It would be nice to get him to come around. The pet store said we can exchange him for another breed, but as a general rule we like to take responsibility for the pets we buy.

He isn't very nippy at all so far, he is more of a runner right now. Today he went out of his cage on his own while we were in the room and then realized he was out and ran under the couch and wouldn't come out. I think he was pretty scared. We got him out and reinforced it positively with some millet.

We have been talking to him in his cage telling him he is a good boy. I think as a general rule in our house there is limited quiet time. Even when the kids are at school, usually there is some cleaning or something going on. But I have been trying to make sure we are calm around him.

Our cockatiel isn't super duper cuddly, but he will let us scratch his head, and doesn't mind standing on our shoulders. He likes to be with us, and we can set him on his perch and let him rip up paper and eat treats for fun. I think if we could get Rio comfortable with stepping up, and hangin out on our shoulder, which as you can see in the picture he is already prone to that. He naturally wants to be on our daughters shoulder when he is with her, which is one of the reasons we liked him.

So far today he has been much more vocal, the most I have witnessed. He is also jumping around in his cage, and I saw him play with a toy or two in there......

And just as Im typing he flew out for the second time today....

... Okay so he flew out and went to the couch. I let him explore a little, but I didn't want him getting hurt so I grabbed him and put him on our window perch. He kept running from me though, he is very wary of my hands. Once I got him on the perch I gave him some millet to try to end it on a more positive note.

I left him on the window perch giving him millet from time to time, and then put him on our living room perch. He seems very quiet when he gets out. After about an hour or so I put him back in his cage. He kept chirping like crazy hopping around

Then tonight, I went to give him some millet. He is still very scared of hands, but is eating the millet for the most part if I don't move my hands at all and get the millet near him.

What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? How do I make progress from here?

 

[Roman914]

@Roman914 I think you have the right instinct. I appreciate that you questioned the advice others gave you and came looking for more positive approaches.

I think the most important thing we can do for our birds to to continuously research and improve how we are doing things

I think involving Rio in the shared area was a great first step! He will come around. They are actually a very fearless bird overall once they adjust.

They are big parrots at heart and they will not accept anything they don't want. They will bite if they aren't listened to. I would continue to use great caution with him around children. The biggest risk if he bites is that a child is more likely to react in a way that could harm the tiny bird. Pushing the bird away or even instinctively tossing the bird. It wouldn't be your child's fault to react this way in reality, but as an end result Rio could be fatally wounded. Keep observing body language and you will learn how to understand what Rio wants. Parrotlets aren't shy about communicating through body language and they will always express discomfort or displeasure before they get to a point of biting. If you listen to him it shouldn't be a problem. I am only mentioning this because it true and you need to understand why this respect based relationship is the best

Thanks for the response. His bite as of yet seems to be similar to the cockatiel. We are monitoring the kids when they are around him and will continue to do so. That being said, he really barely bites right now. Should I expect a change in that area? Thanks!

 

[fashionfobie]

Thanks for the response. His bite as of yet seems to be similar to the cockatiel. We are monitoring the kids when they are around him and will continue to do so. That being said, he really barely bites right now. Should I expect a change in that area? Thanks!

Not all parrotlets are the same. Of my two boys 1 is very much BITE first and ask questions later. The other guy really doesn't bite at all. He is more of a lover. --Now the lover is Neptune and he is much more bonded to me and he also loves all the other birdies. He even courts the wild birds. Picard is my partner's bird and he is very sweet to my partner. Picard is also very protective of my partner and will bite me if he determines I am not allowed nearby any longer. I don't take offense they are so cute together. Also my partner works many hours away from home. So I know their time together is precious. I work from home, it makes a big difference. Picard really values his time with his person...he doesn't want me getting involved.

Rio is around 3.5 months so he is almost out of the baby phase. It does take about 10 months for parrotlets to mature. So Rio is about to hit the troublesome hormonal times, his growing pains. He will probably start learning who is he more and it is hard to know at this point what kind of bird he will grow into.

From your update posts it sounds like you are taking very positive action. I think if you continue this route you will have a rewarding relationship. I love parrotlets! They are wonderful birds. I do think they are misunderstood frequently because of their small size. You get a tiny parrot that can be sassy. They can also have self destructive behavior and can self mutilate.

My guys love swinging type toys. They hop and jump and swing around and fly to the next one to hop and jump on. It is really cute.

Continue to have patience. I don't think you need to exchange the bird. I think you just need realistic expectations, which in reality are none. If the bird is sent back we have no idea who will take him home next. It might be someone who isn't humble enough to ask for help. It might be someone who doesn't give this small parrot the life he deserves. I have far more confidence that you are going to give Rio the best life you can.

 

[Gribouille]

Also, that parrotlets are not ideal for active children. This is different from what others have told me, but I do not doubt it based on what I am seeing. I figured he would grow to bond with us and treasure our little girl as she grows (she already loves him very much).

To be honest, our parrotlet didn't like children that much. He was biting my youngest more often than he did me and the oldest, and the bond between him and my oldest became stronger as he turned teenager. I don't think it has to do with active children because my youngest was very nice and careful to him. He has also been biting the kids friends several times. I'd think there is a calm and confidence coming from older kids that the bird would feel and grow to feel safe.
You will see and hear many advices from people, youtube, websites, and it is difficult to know what's best. When I got Twitter I had seen videos saying you should let the bird alone in a room so that YOU'd be the fun happening when you came in and trained him. I had him in the bathroom for a couple of weeks but didn't like to know he was there on his own and I took him to the kitchen after that.
We had 2 budgies when Twitter came home, and he has been nasty to them. I'd recommend you keep your birds under supervision when they are together, so that your parrotlet doesn't attack and wound your tiel. Both my budgies have been biten to blood by the little devil, it happened very fast right under our nose...

 

[fashionfobie]

Both my budgies have been biten to blood by the little devil, it happened very fast right under our nose...

Well I am just going to say they aren't devils. They are parrotlets. They are true to their species. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with them.

 

[Gribouille]

Well I am just going to say they aren't devils. They are parrotlets. They are true to their species. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with them.

I meant it in an affectionate way, he was a plague to the budgies but really much fun too

 

[finchly]

We got him out and reinforced it positively with some millet

You grabbed him.

so I grabbed him

Again

He is still very scared of hands, but is eating the millet for the most part if I don't move my hands at all and get the millet near him

This is the ONE thing you’re doing right. If you don’t stop grabbing he is going to escalate the biting and also stop eating millet from your hand.

If I were you I would consider the type of relationship and life you want for Rio. If you want a bird that is social with the family, I would place the cage in an shared area of the home. Live your lives with Rio as part of the activities. A living room would probably be better than an isolated bedroom. Talk to Rio, sing to Rio read books to him calmly and warmly. Don't stare at him. He needs to figure out that you are his friends. He needs to trust that you are safe

^^This was great advice. Please re-read it.

I feel like you had a good thing going with the cockatiel and maybe should have stopped there while you learned birdie body language and all the other things you truly need to know.

How is your daughter with the biting, on a scale of 1 to 10 - 1 is she doesn’t even care if he draws blood and 10 is she shrieks and cries for 20 minutes.

If this is truly her bird, and her responsibility (as much as can be for a 6 year old ) you need to take that into account. Because they bite. Even when they don’t think they are biting. Case in point my Sunshine, who is just over a year old. She was a rehome, and very well trained by the previous owner but they did not know, apparently, to teach gentle beak. So even when she uses her beak to test my finger before she steps up ,it’s a great big CHOMP. When I was a kid, I didn’t care at all about that. Your daughter may hate it - if she does maybe return the bird. Don’t get another.

If it’s a family bird and you’re really going to be the one caring for the p’let, you need to back off. STOP grabbing. Stop making any excuse for WHY you grab. Just don’t do it. People are telling you to quit and you aren’t. Can’t emphasize this enough, if you don’t pay attention to what a parrot is telling you they become biters. I feel sure that is not what you want.

So here’s what you need to do. Keep doing the millet thing from. Your hand. Praise him while he’s eating it. But cut that stalk so you have about a 1” piece, not the whole thing. Let him eat a bit, put it in the cage, and say whatever word you are going to use to tell him to go in his cage. “Home” or “cage” or what have you. Do this at least 4 times a day until he consistently goes in.

When y ou get the millet into your hand and open his door, ,say your come to me command. I use “fly to me”. It doesn’t matter that he’s already doing it when. You say it; he will get the picture. Eventually they joyously fly to you. Which also is helpful if they ever escape out the front door!

He is going to explore, including getting under the furniture. Use a small room for now, or else set aside plenty of time so that if he’s under the couch or on top of the window - you have the time to coax him down with your millet. Ask calmly, and just go about your business if he refuses (don’t keep asking) go back in 5 min and ask again.

He is a baby right now, and all these things are going to take time. Months, not today or next week.

Also in case you guys don’t know it already. Birds are PREY and humans are PREDATORS. So don’t stare at the bird. If the 4 of you are clustered around the cage staring, he’s going to be pretty nervous. Try to sit near him and read (have your daughter read to him) so he can look at YOU and get used to you. You won’t believe how much reading to them helps.

I’ll tell you about my 4 later.

This is my chomper. See how innocent she looks?

 

[sunnysmom]

Can you try getting him to step up on a perch? My foster parrotlet also didn't like hands. My assumption is because he was probably grabbed a lot. They're little birds and I think people think it's the easiest way to get them. But he would step up on a perch for me. And sometimes on my finger. I also spent a lot of time sitting with him on my lap and hand feeding him safflower seeds (his favorite). But since the seeds are little he'd have to get really close to my fingers. He was okay with that, but never let me scratch him.

 

[laracroft]

More vocal, playing with his toys, and coming out of his cage are good signs. From what you've said, you are doing a lot right, as far as talking to him in his cage, letting him come out on his own, and giving him treats. But he's not going to improve in his fear of hands if you keep grabbing him. He's just not. You're actually reinforcing that fear every time you do it, and eventually when he learns running doesn't work he will turn to biting. Grabbing is something that should only be done in the case of immediate danger to the bird. I mean something like 'about to land on a hot stove' (not that he should be out of his cage when the stove's on, but it's the example I came up with). Playing under the couch is not an immediate danger. And the room should be bird proofed, so as to prevent that danger if at all possible. My parrotlet is 3 years old, I've had him since he was about 9 weeks, and I've never been in a situation where I had to grab him. It is for emergencies only. Take the time to coax him out. If you don't have time to do that, close the cage door so he can't come out right then. If you're feeling frustrated, walk away for a bit. Trying to get him to step up on a perch first is a good idea.

 

[harpersmom]

stop forcing him out the cage, please!!!

 

[laracroft]

stop forcing him out the cage!!!

If I've read their posts right, they have stopped this part already, so that's good.

 

[Roman914]

More vocal, playing with his toys, and coming out of his cage are good signs. From what you've said, you are doing a lot right, as far as talking to him in his cage, letting him come out on his own, and giving him treats. But he's not going to improve in his fear of hands if you keep grabbing him. He's just not. You're actually reinforcing that fear every time you do it, and eventually when he learns running doesn't work he will turn to biting. Grabbing is something that should only be done in the case of immediate danger to the bird. I mean something like 'about to land on a hot stove' (not that he should be out of his cage when the stove's on, but it's the example I came up with). Playing under the couch is not an immediate danger. And the room should be bird proofed, so as to prevent that danger if at all possible. My parrotlet is 3 years old, I've had him since he was about 9 weeks, and I've never been in a situation where I had to grab him. It is for emergencies only. Take the time to coax him out. If you don't have time to do that, close the cage door so he can't come out right then. If you're feeling frustrated, walk away for a bit. Trying to get him to step up on a perch first is a good idea.

Thank you for your response. Your advice is very reasonable and I appreciate your approach.

When he originally came out on his own the other day, I did not anticipate him running away. I figured if he came out on his own it meant he was more comfortable with us. I didn't have the room ready for him, and I thought it was unsafe which is why I grabbed him. But I get the message and I will not grab him again, and haven't since.

We did have some progress where he came out, and we calmly put our arm next to him and just waited and he did step up. He also stepped up onto my hand and then went back to his perch.

My daughter is learning to read, so we are having her read her books to him while he is in his cage.

So this is where we are.

1. We stopped grabbing him completely.
2. His cage is in the living room, and we have it open after we have made the room safe for him.
3. We are reading to him and speaking to him calmly.
4. We are putting out hand in the cage to offer him millet.
5. We call him a good boy when he eats his millet, and reinforce everything is okay in a calm manner. We have everyone in the family offer him millet in a calm way so he is used to all of our hands. We don't force anything on him other than getting the millet close to him so he can bite it, and we do this slowly and calmly. If he starts running away and seems scared we stop moving our hand and let him come to the millet. If he appears uncomfortable we take our hand out and give him a break.
6. We offer our hand or arm for him to step up on if he comes out but we do not force him to do anything.

Thats where we are as of this morning.

I have a quick question. Is it okay, if he isn't running away, to put a little pressure just above his feet to get him to step up? I have noticed in the past this helps get him to step up. I don't want to force him though if it's not the right thing to do.

Also it's interesting that when we leave the room he seems to make a contact call for us. What does this indicate?

Thanks!!

stop forcing him out the cage, please!!!

Thank you but he came out on his own. I stopped forcing him out with my original post.