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My beloved Zane

Tiel Feathers

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I liked your video of sweet Zane. He had such a nice last night with you, and it’s obvious that you made him very happy. My heart breaks for you.
:sadhug2:
 

Sarahmoluccan

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Sarah, how are you today??
I'm still some what a mess but hanging in there. I knew this day would eventually come but it hit me harder than I ever expected. He could be a hard bird to look after sometimes especially with his self mutilation. Because of that I always thought his death would be bitter sweet. Knowing that he's no longer hurting himself and was free of pain and I didn't have to constantly worry about him anymore. But I would take all that worry and frustration and than some just to have him back. I was so not ready for him to leave this soon. It's really hard.

Thankyou all for being there for me. You have all helped me through this more than you'll ever know
 

Just-passn-thru

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Knowing that he's no longer hurting himself and was free of pain and I didn't have to constantly worry about him anymore. But I would take all that worry and frustration and than some just to have him back. I was so not ready for him to leave this soon. It's really hard.
It hurts ,the passing of your Sweet Zane has opened a healed-over wound ,as I read through your posts I feel your deep sorrow and bleeding heart, it's been 18 years since my beloved Coco the Moluccan Too ,went over the rainbow bridge. He died in my arms . He is buried by the pond in our garden, whenever I water around plants next to him a rainbow appears . As i type this message the sorrow and grief is overwhelming . We always tend to blame ourselves for somehow failing them or we didn't do enough. I feel your pain.



 

Lodah

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Here's some clips of I put together on YouTube. It's him eating some food and chewing cardboard. Except for where He's eating a banana it is from his last night with me. :( He was really eating well. When found him in the morning he must of eaten shortly before he die as there was food in his crop. I believe he must still fighting all the way to the end. God I love that bird so much. RIP my baby :sorrow:

It’s so easy to see the love in his eyes for you... thank you for posting, it made me smile while the tears were running down my face. Bless you all!
 

Begone

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Beautiful video, he was so special and really liked that banana! ♥

I have been thinking of you so many times today. I hope your tears give you some comfort. When I lost Eloy I tell myself that he was worth them all. And I never felt bad for crying over him.
And the memory of Zane will always be close to your heart but at the moment I know they hurt a lot.
Lots of hugs and love from me! ♥

Tonight I will lightning a candle for Zane. ♥

 

Sarahmoluccan

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A big thank you to Jennifer, Wally and Luna. The flowers are beautiful :heart: Perfect colours too.
20180216_151753.jpg 20180216_151739.jpg 20180216_151729.jpg

@faislaq Thanks for asking about Echo earlier. He's doing ok. I show him Zane's body then it first happen. I sat on the floor holding Zane's body and crying, not believing this was actually happening for a long time. Then I show Echo his body. Echo was kind of freak out at first. He went to the opposite side of his cage. He clearly didn't want to see him at that point. I left the birdroom with Zane and went to see my mother.

Before we went down to Guelph I made sure to let Echo see Zane one last time. He did come over to look at Zane this time. I'm not sure how much actually sunk in. Today when I got him out he seemed to look over at Zane's cage inquisitively.

He was really quiet when we first enter my sitting room. He held my thumb in his foot for a little while
20180216_163702.jpg

I think he's doing ok. He'll act really normally for while. Then have these really quiet moments. I think he's still processing it in his own way. He's been really sucky and doing the soft cockatoo beak clicks alot.
 

TikiMyn

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I am sending you and Echo lots of healing thoughts:sadhug2: I am very happy that the two of you have each other during this time:sadhug2:
Those flowers are beautiful:heart:
 

Sarahmoluccan

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Urg!! Today was really rough. I don't know what to do with myself without him. There were still people I wanted him to meet and plans of what I wanted to do in the summer with him that will never happen now. I wish took more pictures and videos of him. It's both unreal to me that Zane's gone and yet all too real that he is.

It's so odd to only have one cockatoo now. I want two again. It's too soon of course to start thinking about that. It's hard thou cause I don't think that's even a possibility. Even when I'm emotionally ready I'll probably never be financially able to. It's hard. I don't want to replace him of course. It's just so odd its been 11 years of having more than one bird. Before Echo there was Sam my cockatiel. And how Echo will cope being an only bird is up in the air. I think he'll be ok but I dunno.

I'm still blaming myself for not getting him to the vets sooner and realizing how ill he was. The day of the vet appointment he was so sleepy after it. But he's always sleepy after an appointment. But then he perked up and was running around on the floor all happy. I knew it was serious but I really thought he could make it. I miss my boy so much...
 

Dartman

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When I lost Nerd bird after 31 years together I was devastated and so was my family as they loved him and knew we were best buds. I didn't have the money and wasn't sure I was ready for another Maxi or any other bird but my lil sister found Lurch for sale and family all pitched in and helped me get him. He was a very mad and quick to bite used parrot but we very slowly came to a understanding and he became happy and was my friend and we needed each other. When he escaped accidentally about 6 years later I was again devastated for failing him even though I climbed 2 trees and tracked him for 2 days. Momazon contacted me to make sure I was ok and a short time later she could no longer keep Dobby and thought I'd make a great Dad after seeing everything I went through with Lurch so she offered him to me. Nerd though I was his world and loved me and was a very shy boy, Lurch was aggressive, grumpy, and quick to bite but we became friends with the understanding that biting for him was a feature and he loved me but demanded respect, Dobby is the most outgoing, hyper, gentle, socialized Maxi I have ever known. Sometimes whether your ready or not things happen and usually for the best, it doesn't always mean you have to have money and all that, just a open loving home.
When you have had time to greive and come to terms maybe another special fid will find his way to you and you'll be good for each other. None of my guys are exactly like the others, they all are their own souls with similarities but each wanted to be handled differently and were, are happy.
 

ode.to.parrots

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I am so, so sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you and Echo. I was crying as I read through this thread. I know your grief must be unbearable, but in all the realm of your heart where you feel that loss, there is, and always will be, love - so much love.
 

Macawnutz

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I can not say this enough. When my BG Greg passed away I took four years to decide to adopt another BG to fill his spot. What I didn't know is that instantly a huge part of my heart was healed.
It kept me busy, I no longer saw his cage empty. Instead of glancing at his spots with sorrow I could glance over and smile at her. She kinda smells just like him too. There is no time limit but if you feel someday another bird is needed, don't wait because of grief.
 

Hankmacaw

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Don't forget that Echo will grieve too. Animals really do grieve. It took Jasper about six months to come out of deep grief for Hank and to this day I'm careful not to play videos of Hank (died in 2012) when she can hear or see them. She becomes frantic and upset looking for him. They were lovers for 12 years.

Jasper and I have become each others savior and give each other comfort and company. I'm sure that you and Echo will do the same. Hank was the love of my life and of Jasper's life, but we have become like two little old ladies living together and are quite content. We both still miss him and he is still with us in our hearts every day.
 

Cynthia & Percy

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I am very sorry for your loss
 
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