Making a Bonding Match

[Macgyver]

Hi there,
I'm a new forum member. My family recently lost a beloved female linnie and we are interested in adopting a new bird friend. I have two issues to discuss with you today.

1. I have a theory that female birds bond better to male humans, and that male birds bond better to female humans. My family has had two female birds, both accept me (I'm female), but clearly preferred my husband. What are your experiences with bonding? Am I on to something, or is my husband just more likable to birds?

2. Both of our past birds have had egg issues, and one died due to egg-related complications, which makes me a bit reluctant to get another female. However, we don't want an aggressive male, especially since this will be a one-bird household. What are your experiences with single pet birds being more or less aggressive due to their sex?

(Please no lectures about how having two birds is best. Please no lectures about how to discourage egg-laying; we successfully managed no eggs for a year prior to the egg-related death and have an excellent avian vet to guide us.)

I appreciate your comments.

 

[Birdcoocoo]

bonding with opposite sex is something I've always been told from people at the exotic bird stores in my area. However, I still doubt that birds identify sex of another species in terms of bonding.

 

[Macgyver]

I found this thread, which has much food for thought on this subject and more. I would still welcome comments.

Baby to adult. Will they still love me? | Avian Avenue Parrot Forum

 

[wyrinth]

bonding with opposite sex is something I've always been told from people at the exotic bird stores in my area. However, I still doubt that birds identify sex of another species in terms of bonding.

I too doubt that birds recognize humans as the opposite sex. They might show a preference for men or women, but I don't think it will necessarily be the "mate" gender. Probably coincidence, and the human mind is really good at remembering examples that "fit" into their ideas. All the animals tend to bond with me because I'm the primary caretaker. Right now most of them are males, but at one point I had a female ring neck who was bonded to me and hated all men (my grandfather, father and husband) and didn't like anyone else, but wouldn't attack my mom or sister.

 

[sunnysmom]

I've heard that theory before too but just from reading about birds here on the forum it doesn't seem to hold true. There are lots of male members here with male birds who are their bird's favorite person, i.e. @cassiesdad and vice versa. I think birds just pick their person for whatever reason.

I have a cockatiel who is a single bird. He's not aggressive at all but tiels are known to be pretty laid back birds.

And sorry to hear about your linnie.

@Lady Jane ?

 

[Mizzely]

The best bonds I've had with birds have been female (and I'm female). My male bird is also closer to my husband. So, 3 for 3, our household has always preferred same gender.

Some species are more prone to excessive egg laying than others, so if you are intent on a female, and are worried about that, perhaps look at what species are less likely. Conures, for example, tend to not be chronic egg layers.

My male quaker is currently an only bird and has been sweeter since being an only bird.

 

[Lady Jane]

I am also sorry you lost you Linnie bird. Was it from egg binding? I did get my male Linnie first and he is very social. Will always to up to new people right away.
So he would not be an aggressive bird. My female came later on and she is much more shy and really has not warmed up to me yet. Are you looking for another Linnie?

 

[jmfleish]

I think it's more about the species than anything else. We have Linnies, greys, Ekkies, Cockatoos, and Amazons. In my experience, our Linnies have not shown much of a propensity to be incredibly aggressive with us, male or female. I don't think they've really shown a human sexual preference either. We haven't had any egg binding issues either, but maybe we've been lucky. I will tell you this right up front. Linnies are the most extremely bonding parrots I have ever met and I've met a lot of different species over my decade of working and keeping birds. I would tell you normally that birds can live alone just fine or even with a species that isn't their own without a ton of drama but Linnies are different. They tend to really want pair up with another of their species and if they can't at least have another bird around they can be very known to be incredibly loud and very, very needy...to the point of driving you crazy. I think that's probably the thing I'd worry about the most if you are going to go with another Linnie. That's the only species I tend to suggest not keeping as a single bird.

As for other species...I have a male RB2 at home who is a hormonal mess right now...don't know if I would consider getting another male. Of course, I also have his brother who is as sweet as can be and only a few days older. All of our RB2s tend to not have a preference for males or females of the human variety. Our greys don't seem to care about the sex of the human either and I don't see a whole lot of difference in them once they come into maturity but I know other people have. Our male Ekkies are as sweet as can be and as long as you don't mind them crawling all over you and doing the deed on you, they have no preferences at all. They were born horny though! Our Amazons seem to like everyone too, but they are all females and they came to us as adults.

I would tend to say that your best bet for any bird is to go with an adult who has a personality that is already established...then you know what you're getting into. Birds who tend to like one human sex or another, learned that at a certain age because of the way the human who was taking care of them treated them or maybe because they were raised by one sex or another and the other sex wasn't around. I don't think it's something that is ingrained in male birds or female birds.

Good luck figuring out who your next bird is going to be! I would seriously consider visiting rescues and shelters...there are lots of birds out there looking for a new home through no fault of their own and you'd be surprised at who you might fall in love with!

 

[Macgyver]

It's been interesting reading everyone's replies, thank you. I've had a lot to digest in the past few days.

Responding to some of the comments:
Thank you for the condolences, they are appreciated. We lost our bird due to egg-related complications. She had a large egg, and polyps in her cloaca.

I'd be ok with an older linnie, but they seem to be very difficult to find. Even getting a youngster is not easy, we've had to cast our net across the state. If anyone happens to know of a tame adult linnie in CA looking for a new home, I'd be willing to take some contact info.

I've come to the conclusion that it's probably my husband's personality and being the food-giver that makes him more attractive to our birds, vs me who is a bit more assertive with the discipline and affection. (Discipline meaning, if the bird does an undesirable behavior, I swoop her off my shoulder immediately, whereas he does not.) My gut also tells me that with linnies, there may be a tiny difference in male vs female but they are generally nice birds and there's not a lot to worry about.

 

[karen256]

With some species, females tend to be more aggressive (budgies, lovebirds, ect.), and with others males are often more aggressive (Amazons, cockatoos). Then there are a lot of species where there isn't a strong difference and I think linnies fall into that category. I have a male and he isn't really aggressive at all. He is grumpy and is NOT an early bird, trying to get him up before noon is sure to result in an angry pinch as he steps up. But he's a linnie with a tiny little beak and his angry pinch is nothing. He doesn't go out of his way to be aggressive in any way and is gentle and submissive with other birds. The vet doesn't even need to towel him when examining him - even though he is very unhappy about being grabbed and examined, he won't even attempt to bite.

 

[Chihuahua]

bonding with opposite sex is something I've always been told from people at the exotic bird stores in my area. However, I still doubt that birds identify sex of another species in terms of bonding.

It isn't that animals identify sex so much as body language. While I will stomp the gender binary into the dirt any chance I get there is no denying that women and men have different body language and mannerisms, generally speaking. It's not something you think about consciously, but it's the difference between passing or not for trans people sometimes. And I have no doubt that animals can pick up on that and may prefer one over the other.