Jealousy, Aggression, and Hormones

[TikkiTembo]

I'm sure that all of this behavior must be blamed on hormones. Tikki the cockatiel is almost 6 months old now, he's been molting for weeks, and has always been a pain in the butt to get back in his cage. Recently, he's been better about getting back in the cage thanks to some forum suggestions like millet only in the cage, stick around for a while, get him in before he's tired, etc. He hasn't tried to mate with us or regurgitate food. The most he's done is sing beautiful songs to an Ikea stuffed lettuce...His one true love. Lol
Anyways, today has been a weird day, so I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm still doing okay, and I'm not messing him up. Haha
Today, Tootie flew to the new play area I'm building (more on that later!) And he was afraid because he hasn't been there yet. So I offered him my arm and he stepped up nicely and settled on my shoulder...That's probably the third time that's ever happened. Tikki immediately flew over and joined us, landing on my head. He then began biting my ear, harder than he normally would bite. I swatted him away, and he returned and continued. I figured he was jealous of Tootie, and was claiming me as a perch or as his human, so I walked back to Tootie's cage, and they both jumped off. I reached toward the cage to give Tootie a treat, and Tikki instantly lunged at me multiple times, not allowing me near the cage. He's been aggressive in his cage before, but not to this extent. So I told him to stop being a turd and walked away. Then I decided he was probably getting tired, so I attempted to follow the new in cage routine, and ended up following him around the house for 10 minutes while he flew around, lunging and hissing at me when he landed and I reached for him.
I'm sure this is all normal behavior, I'm just feeling bummed out, and want to be sure I'm not encouraging negative behavior somehow. They are such beautiful, complex little beings!

 

[sunnysmom]

I am guessing it was a jealousy thing. The thing with bites is you have to be careful not to reinforce the behavior. So removing him from you and then ignoring him may be the best thing. Attention, even negative attention, can reinforce biting. I think that's what happened with my goffin and my fiancé. The good news is, tiels aren't typically bitey so I think it's something you can get under control.

 

[TikkiTembo]

@sunnysmom He continued to be pretty grumpy all evening, so he got an early bedtime. Hopefully he'll wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed! I think maybe part of it is that I need to stay absolutely persistent...If I want him off my head, don't give up, if it's time to go in his cage and he lunges, don't pull away. He's not hurting me anyways, it's just instinct to flinch. I love him and his complicated emotions

 

[Yoshi&Raphi]

Somebody’s got a grudge! How DARE you give attention to another bird!

 

[TikkiTembo]

@Yoshi&Raphi that angry face says it all!!

 

[JoJo&Loki]

Ohh Tikki why you being such a turd!?! Lol that’s something I would say too by the way...
You are so right- the hormones with a dash of jealousy and the molting just makes everything worse. I’m in a similar situation. Still trying to bond more with Loki- but molting, jealous Jojo doesn’t care for that. Any time I go near Loki I have a tiny blue angry bird that jumps on my hand and immediately starts biting me if I don’t pay that INSTANT attention. I get “attacked” Budgie attacks are in no way painful but I always try redirecting Jo to not “reinforce”. But dang these little turds are persistent!!!
I even make sure to always interact with Jo first, but it doesn’t help.

Sorry I’m no help, but I can surely commiserate with you

May the force be with us both

 

[TikkiTembo]

@JoJo&Loki thank you! It's nice to know I'm not doing something wrong, just navigating the emotions of a teenage bird

 

[sunnysmom]

Oh my goodness. That little face. None of my birds have ever been overly food motivated. Praise and attention means much more to them. So praising good behavior has always worked well for me.

 

[Leih]

My lovebird thinks I'm her mate, she's never regurgitated but she does "display" for me. I kind of know her triggers more so I avoid them. (Pointing my phone at turns her on.) She became a total jerk. She'd be jealous of my cats and bite me. She'd fly over to me and bite me. If she displays she'll bite me. So I try to distract her if she does happen to display. And these were harder than her usual nibbles. I'm not sure if you manage hormones in the same way for males and females, but I increased her dark time (c. 13 hrs) and gave her tons of stuff to chew and I rearrange her cage regularly. Actually, I should do that tonight! I also added a foraging dish, which I haven't done in awhile, but I put a bunch of beads in there with some millet for her to dig for. She's still jealous of my cats (she dive bombed Percy recently!) but she's not an unreasonable b anymore. I hate having to put her to bed so early though.

 

[Leih]

Ps-I know it's frustrating, but his angry face is adorable!

 

[Monica]

Tikki immediately flew over and joined us, landing on my head. He then began biting my ear, harder than he normally would bite. I swatted him away, and he returned and continued.

Has he done this behavior before? It's quite possible that he finds your ears intriguing and wants to explore them in not so pleasant ways for you. Can you... teach him to step up instead of swatting him away?

What could he play with besides your ears?

I reached toward the cage to give Tootie a treat, and Tikki instantly lunged at me multiple times, not allowing me near the cage.

Are Tootie and Tikki bonded at all? Or is there something in Tootie's cage that Tikki likes?

I attempted to follow the new in cage routine, and ended up following him around the house for 10 minutes while he flew around, lunging and hissing at me when he landed and I reached for him.

Congrats! You've just taught him to avoid you for 10 minutes while you attempt to get him back in his cage!

Definitely need to work on teaching him to step up for a reward.

I think maybe part of it is that I need to stay absolutely persistent...If I want him off my head, don't give up, if it's time to go in his cage and he lunges, don't pull away.

No. Just, no.

Yes, you need to be "persistent".... Persistent in *TRAINING*, not forcing! If you want him off your head, TEACH him to step up, don't force him! If he lunges, back off! You ignore those lunges, those lunges could turn into bites. Instead of warning you that he'll bite, he'll just go straight for the bite instead!

 

[TikkiTembo]

@Monica He had never bitten my ears before, and never really bites at all, which is why I noticed it as something strange and out of the ordinary. I'm not entirely sure how I am supposed to make him step up nicely when he's biting my ears while on top of my head. That's why I shooed him off to a better place. I am also not sure how to make him step up nicely when he's lunging at me. He knows how to step up, and does it all day long when it's time to move from one place to another, or he is in an unacceptable spot like near the kitchen sink. We've been working hard on target training and we step up all day long, but when it's time to go back in his cage, he ignores most commands. He may step up for one second, but then will fly off. His go to seems to be to fly away, and when I ask him to step up, he'll lunge and bite. He flies from the play gym to the TV...Ask him to step up, he either flies away or lunges and THEN flies away. Let's say he then lands on the fridge. Same thing. Then to the lamp. Then back to the TV. Then we do this over and over and over until he's tired, and he will then finally step up without lunging, and will actually stay put long enough for me to get to the bird room. He knows there is millet and sunflower seeds in his cage, plus we upgraded to a larger cage in case he was feeling cramped. Then I read him a story before leaving the room, so he doesn't feel like I'm rushing off. If I offer millet or treats as a way to get him to step up and stay, he's not interested. He'll bite the millet angrily or throw the seeds, like he knows it's a bribe.
As for him and Tootie, he is more bonded with Tootie than vice versa. He sings to him with heart wings all day, and attempts to preen him. Tootie will sit right next to Tikki and preen himself or eat, but will not share food or allow Tikki to touch him. Tikki has become more aggressive of items recently, things like toys on the play gym, or a food bowl that I need to take away to refill. In his cage, I accept this behavior, it's natural that he's defensive of his space, but it has spread to the play gym area as well. If I reach for anything, he will lunge at me to get away.
I guess what I'm not understanding is how to train a bird to get back in his cage without lunging and biting and flying away if I simply walk away every time this behavior occurs. He's telling me to leave him alone, and as much as I'd like to listen to what he is saying each time he says it, he's got to go in his cage sometimes, and if he had it his way, he'd stay out all day. We've got kids and other pets, so we've got a routine down where he is out from around 9am until 1pm every day, then again from around 4 until 8 or 9, depending on the day. Hes normally closer to 8 to avoid the over tired grumpies.

 

[TikkiTembo]

Also,asking him to step up onto a perch results in him angrily biting the perch and then flying away.
He spends 99% of his day following me around, singing me songs, begging for my food...Normal, lovely cockatiel stuff. But when he gets his undies in a bunch, he's mad. Also, he will play the fly away game with my husband, but won't lunge at him. In return though, my husband does not get to give scritches, Tikki saves those for me.

 

[Monica]

Thanks for the more detailed response!

It's best to work on step up training when you need it the least - not in the moment! But you do want to work on step up training from a variety of locations!


It may help to take him back to his cage, set him on top of his cage, treat, then pick him back up. Another time, maybe put him in his cage but don't close the door. Treat, pick him back up. A few times, maybe leave him a little longer before picking him back up.

Also - work on station training! You may need a whole piece of millet sprig, and just have him sit on your hand and allow him to eat it at his pleasure. Then, remove just slightly out of reach and wait a few seconds before rewarding again. Have him sit on your hand for longer and longer periods of time and rewarding him for just sitting there. This may help with getting him back in the cage, too!


Please do keep up with target training and step up training! Him flying away when you ask for a step up is just teaching him to fly away when you ask for a step up! As an alternative to treats, would he step up for scritches? I used to have trouble getting Casey, my cockatiel to step up as well, although for different reasons! Each time I'd ask her for a step up, she'd be like "Oh! Scritches!" and put her head down. I couldn't physically get to her feet because her head was always in the way! I taught her to step up for scritches instead so now any time she steps up, I give her scritches. I put her back in the cage? She gets scritches! Same exact concept as target training (rewarding little steps to reach the end goal), only she got scritches instead of a food reward! I unintentionally taught her to station for scritches, too!

So in short... maybe the answer isn't using treats? Maybe there's something more rewarding than food!

 

[Yoshi&Raphi]

Thanks for the more detailed response!

It's best to work on step up training when you need it the least - not in the moment! But you do want to work on step up training from a variety of locations!


It may help to take him back to his cage, set him on top of his cage, treat, then pick him back up. Another time, maybe put him in his cage but don't close the door. Treat, pick him back up. A few times, maybe leave him a little longer before picking him back up.

Also - work on station training! You may need a whole piece of millet sprig, and just have him sit on your hand and allow him to eat it at his pleasure. Then, remove just slightly out of reach and wait a few seconds before rewarding again. Have him sit on your hand for longer and longer periods of time and rewarding him for just sitting there. This may help with getting him back in the cage, too!


Please do keep up with target training and step up training! Him flying away when you ask for a step up is just teaching him to fly away when you ask for a step up! As an alternative to treats, would he step up for scritches? I used to have trouble getting Casey, my cockatiel to step up as well, although for different reasons! Each time I'd ask her for a step up, she'd be like "Oh! Scritches!" and put her head down. I couldn't physically get to her feet because her head was always in the way! I taught her to step up for scritches instead so now any time she steps up, I give her scritches. I put her back in the cage? She gets scritches! Same exact concept as target training (rewarding little steps to reach the end goal), only she got scritches instead of a food reward! I unintentionally taught her to station for scritches, too!

So in short... maybe the answer isn't using treats? Maybe there's something more rewarding than food!

That’s hilarious! She was simply to sweet to step up.

 

[TikkiTembo]

We stepped up all day today, wonderfully and gently! I even brought him to his cage a few times, let him sit on the top, and praised him. Then 1pm and 8pm came around, and he turned back into a terror. I ended up wrapping my hand in a towel to get him, because his bites were so bad. He knows when it's time to go in, and every lovely step up and come here is gone out the window. I thought I'd get lucky tonight...Tootie was motioning towards the bird room, so I offered him my arm, he stepped up, and once he had a clear view of his cage, he flew to it and climbed in. Tikki followed him and landed on his own cage. I changed their water and food, put Tikki's millet in his cage, and left the room for a few minutes, hoping Tikki would go in on his own. Nope. So back to the biting, lunging, hissing, flying away.
It's hard not to take it personally and be frustrated. He finally landed on my head, and I stuck my head in the cage and he hopped off. Then I stepped out and cried. Thanks pregnancy hormones! He is an amazing little friend, until he's not. I feel like I've tried everything, and the only thing that will work is time and patience and more patience. I will never give up on my buddy, but man is it disheartening.

 

[Monica]

Definitely keep working with him! He sounds like one smart cookie!